Mother, that sailor suit doesn’t fit anymore.

How was your weekend? I hope all you moms had a lovely Mother’s Day. Mine was quite lovely. My husband and the boys took me to the garden centre on Saturday, a.k.a. my happy place. Then it snowed a little. Yes, Mother Nature, I bought plants before the long weekend. Thank you for reminding me why I shouldn’t.

But today was pleasant and sunny which was great as Jake had a field trip to the zoo. On the bus. Without me. I was a teensy bit freaked out about it. I kept envisioning all sorts of insane scenarios: the bus crashing, the school losing him and some crazy person snatching him, animals escaping from enclosures only to stalk and eat him or, alternately, give him some sort of unknown feral disease. You know, just the normal things that a normal mother would worry about. I actually considered not signing the permission slip, but really. Is that a good way to parent? Is that a good message? You are only safe if mommy is with you at all times. Wow, I just creeped myself out writing that.

Did you ever see that Simpsons episode – from many, many years ago when I used to actually watch The Simpsons – where Principal Skinner is using puppet therapy to deal with his overbearing mother? “Mother, I’m a grown man. That sailor suit doesn’t fit anymore!” I don’t want to be like that, not that any of my children ever wore sailor suits, such suits being the height of lame childhood clothing in my opinion.

It’s my goal to have the boys end up independently functioning, contributing members of society, as opposed to 40ish men living in my basement watching daytime television and hiding their porn magazines under their mattresses, claiming that I’m their best girl and that they could never leave me. So this is my first step: a field trip without me. I sat on the school steps waiting for his bus to arrive, saw his happy, proud face in the window, and I felt like it was a very good day.


  1. LOVE. So funny! And I identify so wincingly!

  2. Heh. I wonder what it says about me that I would probably have volunteered to chaperone. I’m sure I wouldn’t so it forever though…and I would never buy a sailor suit for my kid. They’re so silly.

  3. I usually DO chaperone, but couldn’t this time due to timing on picking up my other son from school. Instead I just told every other mom who was chaperoning how worried I was so they would all look out for him!

  4. So true and so funny. Those little moments of letting go can be so hard, can’t they. But so refreshing when they go well!

  5. What a day to read this post! My kindergartner is going to the zoo today. And I had every irrational thought you had. And I told myself I was silly. But I couldn’t volunteer to go.
    I was imagining her as Just Another Kid in another parent’s mind as they had to watch her. I was imagining her bright eyes, and excited grin as she experienced the zoo with her classmates. I’ve been wanting to see the joy as she delights in the butterfly exhibit. She’s been talking daily about how curious and excited she is. And I was so sad that I was going to miss it.
    And then Daddy said, “Hey, I should volunteer for that.” And he did. And last night I packed both of their lunches.
    And my heart is soaring. Because really, how cool is it to bring your Dad on your field trip. And she will not be Just Another Kid. She will be His. And they will delight each other.

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