Happy Festivus!

This is not really a ranting type of blog. I’m not so much a ranting girl. But it’s Festivus! Grievances must be aired.

I have a major grievance against people who send their contagious kids to school, or allow their contagious kids to be in confined public spaces with other non-sick children. Especially the week before Christmas. Even when Santa is visiting the pre-kindergarten class. Especially when the contagions are of the vomiting variety. Jake is feeling much better – heartbreakingly skinny, but better – but now Mark is unwell. Today I had two things to accomplish: I needed to take the dog to the groomer’s and I needed to buy groceries. It’s minus 20 and I didn’t think that taking out one recovering child and one potentially vomiting child was a particularly good idea, so I accomplished both tasks before my husband left for work. Which meant I went out while still in my sweaty yoga clothes. And I didn’t have makeup on. This might not be a big deal to all you “I couldn’t be bothered with makeup” girls, but I apply a nice fresh coat of lip gloss prior to walking my dog, so going to the grocery store makeup-less and sweaty is actually a big deal for me. Blah, blah, vanity, blah, blah, I know. So here is the chain of events: a still-contagious child is brought to the pre-kindergarten Santa visit, and I end up in the grocery store with no makeup. No good can come of that.

I read a magazine article about a woman who spends thousands of dollars a year buying Christmas gifts for 150 people. I don’t have a grievance against that, per se, but at the end of the article the woman says that Christmas Day is a great time to get ideas for the next year’s gifts, because people are always talking about what they wanted and didn’t get. Really? Who are those people? I have a grievance against those people. Someone gave you a gift and it wasn’t what you wanted? It’s a gift, you asshole. A gift. You want something else, go out on Boxing Day and buy it.

Hey, it’s kind of fun, this ranting thing! Too bad it’s not Festivus every day.

Other grievances which just irritate me so much I don’t even want to spend my mental energy on them include the words Gosselin and Balloon Boy, people who don’t have children but have very strong opinions on how children should be raised, people who have road rage in parking lots, and elderly people who really should not be driving who are driving gigantic vehicles which almost run over you when you are walking with your four-year-old in the Co-Op parking lot. Although, my mother-in-law tells this hilarious story about an elderly lady who drove through her beauty parlor window – no one was hurt, but the ladies sitting under those big hair dryers were pretty shaken up. Evidently the woman meant to put her car in reverse, although it seems like that would have been just as disastrous, an elderly woman speeding in reverse through the parking lot.

Happy Festivus, everyone! Feel free to air your grievances!


  1. I want to watch that Seinfeld episode so badly now.

  2. I’d air my grievances but tonight they mainly involve the dude that shares my bed.
    And that’s just boring.
    But I’m with you on the opinions on children.
    Or those with only children who are convinced that what worked with their ONE child will work on EVERY OTHER CHILD in the world.
    Hey, this does feel good.
    Just one more.
    The couch is NOT a hanger. The hangers are 3 feet away in the handy-dandy closet. Put your coat THERE turkey!
    Happy Festivus!

  3. wow…I clearly missed “Festivus”–never heard of it (Seinfeld? How’d I miss that?)…but I will gladly contribute to any request for venting! I am a master venter!

    My main gripe, following the holidays, is that you can’t get refunds any more from most retail stores. It’s like a battle for cash. If you get a gift from a store and it’s, say, BROKEN…the most you will get back is store credit…you know, so you can get another crummy product from China that will either be broken or will soon become broken. Which is actually another major gripe of mine…nothing lasts…I am constantly returning things, you know, for store credit…My new goal–just buy less. That’ll show ’em.

    (sorry, bad return experience at Brookstone yesterday…)

    Happy New Year!
    ps–I am a girl in a boy house, too…the only other female is my cat!

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