Back to normal – sort of

I have been off my game, people. I have had one of those energy-sucking colds that, coupled with the copious amount of cold medication I have been taking, has left me wandering in a fog of my own making. I’m wondering, what day is it? What time is it? Oh, do the kids need to eat? Maybe I should make lunch. Things that come naturally are coming to me very slowly. Also I have been sleep-deprived, and, irritatingly enough, not because of the kids. For two nights in a row I took “nighttime relief” cold medication. I should know better. I’m always lured by the medications’ claims “so you can get some rest”. More like, “so you can have hallucinogenic dreams that will have you waking every hour or two wondering what the hell is going on in your brain, and then keep you up for a couple of hours only to crash 20 minutes before it is time to get up.” I haven’t taken NyQuil for years because I once had a NyQuil-related crazy dream about leprechauns and unicorns-turned-flesh-eating-monsters and dancing trees that caused me to wake up screaming when my husband absent-mindedly patted my back.

I feel better today.

Monday was a bad day. It was minus 25 and there were enormous snow drifts everywhere, one of which claimed my car when I dropped the boys at school. After trudging through knee-deep snow, helping the boys out of their 10 pounds of winter clothing, and trudging back, a couple of moms helped push my car out (thanks ladies!). Then, because that clearly was not enough excitement for one day, I drove to Wal-Mart. I needed more cold medication, but more importantly, I had to get stickers for Jake’s class sticker gift exchange which was to take place the following class. I chose a gender-neutral sheet of puppy stickers.

Later, I noticed Mark with all his craft supplies. He was making a picture, and had opened the stickers, the ones, as I said, seething with rage, I HAD GONE OUT IN THE FREEZING COLD AND SNOW TO GET FOR JAKE’S SPECIAL CLASS.

Big deal, right? Except for me, in my cold-addled state, it really was a big deal. I had to take deep breaths. I had to say, with my teeth gritted, that next time, please ASK before you use stickers. I used every ounce of self-control to not spiral into a screaming, shrieking, bad bad mother. I remained calm but inside, I was a mess. Because of a 99 cent package of stickers. I could see myself, in the moment, and I was struck at how ridiculous a situation it was, that I was so enraged by my child using stickers that he thought I had purchased for him.

I managed to go out again, and purchase another package of stickers. I decided to gift wrap them, as instructed, immediately. I gathered the gift wrap and noticed something in the bag with the gift tags.

Stickers. A package of stickers I had purchased a month earlier, thinking that I should buy them for the sticker gift exchange, so I wouldn’t leave it to the last minute.

You can imagine, then, how I felt.


  1. Hey, you didn’t turn into the wicked witch. You controlled yourself.
    A wise person once told me, it’s not about the emotions, it’s about how we control them rather than letting them control us.
    Good for you.
    I have that cough too. Even buckling my kids into their car seats seems too big these days.

  2. Believe me, I understand. It seems no matter how prepared I am, there is always one more gift exchange or special item or whatever that I need to run out for. This morning? A $2 girl gift. Oy.

  3. I think we’ve all had that moment when we realize that we are right on the edge of freaking out over something that is REALLY minor. The sign of being a good mother is that you did not freak out. Good job, mama.

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