Ever since Beck’s post about music yesterday, I’ve had the following child-inappropriate songs stuck in my head:

1) Wasn’t that a party, by some obscure band in the late 70’s. You know the song: “Could have been the whiskey, might have been the gin, could have been the three or four six packs I don’t know, but just look at the mess I’m in”. I remember this song from my own childhood, and I remember asking my mom why the guy’s head was like a football. I don’t remember her answer, but I’m sure it was somewhat vague.

2) Gold Digger, by Kanye West. In terms of child-inappropriate songs, this one is the gold standard. It has it all: misogyny, overt sexual references, and extremely offensive language.

3) Why Don’t We (get drunk and screw) by Jimmy Buffet. I don’t really think I need to expound on this.

Why or how these songs got into my head, I don’t know. What I do know is that when I got into my car today the oldies’ radio station that I listen to was playing “I want to kiss you all over” and all I could think of was the scene in Happy Gilmore where Adam Sandler was singing that into his ex-girlfriend’s apartment intercom. TIME TO GROW UP, NICOLE.