Author Archives: Nicole Boyhouse

We Are Groot

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So one week ago today we were in the thick of a snow-related apocalypse, the power off and trees down, streets treacherous and temperatures dipping below freezing. Today it’s sunny and 25 degrees Celsius, which really indicates how average temperatures are calculated in this city.

On a related note, this weekend we cleaned up the tree carnage in our front yard, and for those of you who have small children who need to be corralled and distracted and given “jobs” like “put this little stick in the bin, that’s right, just like that, good boy! Okay, now another stick.” every time you need to do yard work, take heart. My kids are actually helpful now, and the cleanup was faster by about 200%, if it was just my husband and I doing it. The giant branches needed to be taken to the back alley, where ostensibly at some point they will be picked up and chipped by the city, and the boys were eager to see who could drag the larger branch and/or the most branches through the back yard to the alley. This competition was punctuated by constant loud declarations of “I AM GROOT” each and very time they picked up a branch. Each and every time. But I am not complaining, because their competition to get all the heavy branches to showcase their immense strength meant that I could gather all the light ones, and I’m all about not lifting heavy things.

Jake’s birthday was on Monday, and so we did a bunch of celebrating this weekend. Mark gave him some Lego and a keychain of the Lego Movie good cop/ bad cop which had the added benefit of a small LED light. Jake thanked his brother profusely for such a thoughtful gift.

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My husband and I gave Jake a camera, and he immediately tested it out by photographing things around the house, then making a video, which seemed to star the dog scratching his ear and then lying down. My friend Lyn suggested that with the right music, this could be an avant-garde film of sorts – crescendoing music with the PING of an xylophone. Maybe I have an artiste on my hands.

It’s been a bit of a busy week; tonight is the school’s Welcome Back Picnic, which was rescheduled from last week due to snow, followed by the first School Council/ Parent Association meeting of the year. Did I mention I’m chairing again? I am. I am chairing again. I probably need offer no further comment.

Yesterday I had some running around to do; namely a post office visit that turned epic when it became apparent that the woman helping me was brand new to the job. It took a long time, while I breathed and smiled and thought of my to-do list with increasing agitation. It’s like I have two little angels on my shoulders, one that says I am doing a civic duty by being patient so this woman can practice her skills on me, and the other that says OMFG how long have I BEEN here? In any case, it got sorted with me still smiling politely, and after that I stopped by the adjacent Walmart to pick up a few items that say a lot about me: lipgloss, cocoa butter hand cream, and wax strips.

And Walmart, usually so soul-destroying and spirit-breaking, Walmart served to lift me up where I belonged, where the eagles cry on a mountain high. Because as I entered the usually cringe-worthy store, I witnessed the cutest thing: the elderly greeter hardcore flirting with a cute elderly lady who was returning a cart from somewhere in the mall. I actually slowed my pace and pretended to look at the display of bathroom tissue and Oreos, just so I could eavesdrop. After a few minutes I went on my way, but they were still chatting. Maybe they were going to meet for a coffee and donut at the Tim Horton’s after his shift? I certainly hope so.

Snow-pocalypse

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It has been such a strange week. It started out like this:

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Which morphed into this:

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We put on a happy face, after all, the kids were all building snow forts and having a blast. The snow was going to melt, so no big deal, right?

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Yesterday morning I drove to yoga at my usual early time. The snow was falling heavily and the streets were slushy. I felt a bit anxious about it, so I had an abbreviated practice and headed home a bit early, thinking I could get my husband to have a head start and beat the traffic. Soon, I realized that his car’s summer tires would never do for the conditions, so when I got home at 6:45 I told him that he should probably consider taking the train to work. He gave me the following information: giant branches were breaking off our Manitoba maple in the front yard, and there was a stabbing at the train station, so it was closed for investigation.

I turned on the news just in time to see that the stabbing investigation was over and the station was now open for the morning commute, and just as I was relaying that happy piece of news, the power went off. And stayed off. We had no power, no phone, and the route to school was full of giant trees, all of which were losing branches. My cell phone was only partially charged, and so I trudged off early with the boys, still dressed in my sweaty yoga clothes, with no makeup and dirty hair, hoping the power was on at the school so I could charge my phone, and avoiding any and all large trees on the way. We made it without being hit by falling branches, and the teachers immediately took pity on me, plugging in my phone, making me coffee, and offering to toast me a bagel. I was reminded how lucky I am to live in a neighbourhood where the kids can walk to school, and to be part of a school community that is truly kind.

I tried to be helpful in the school office for a while, and then decided I would walk back home and…read a book? I wasn’t sure what to do, exactly, when my phone rang. My two dear friends asked me to meet them at the neighbourhood Starbucks. Why not? My to-do list wasn’t exactly to-do-able. As I left the school I saw a tree fall down in the middle of the busy road, blocking traffic, and several large branches fall on the stopped cars up and down the boulevard. Once I got to Starbucks, my friends had bought me a giant vanilla soy latte, and informed me that I was NOT going home to my cold, dark house, but instead I was going to my friend’s, that had power and an extra computer in case I needed to do some work. She also insisted that the boys come to her place for a hot lunch. I was reminded how lucky I am to have friends who get me, who knew I would never ask.

After lunch my other dear friend drove me back to my house so I could let the dog out for a while. We pulled up to see devastation – giant branches littering the front yard, the sidewalk, and the walkway. My tree! My friend went to the back yard, picked up a hoe, and started knocking as much snow as she could off of the other trees and shrubs. We did this for a while and it really helped; the other front tree, the Mayday, suffered minimal damage. I was reminded how lucky I am to have friends who just pitch in and help.

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All in all it was pretty depressing, although by the time the kids and I came home after school, the power was back on. The power was back on! Never have I been so thrilled to be able to switch on a light. I was reminded how lucky I am to be in a cozy, warm house, with hot water and a fridge full of food.

After dinner, my neighbours came by with a chainsaw and bandsaw, and they helped move the branches onto the lawn and off the walkways. I was reminded how lucky I am to be in a neighbourhood with heart.

This morning the sun came out. Everything looks better in the morning, don’t you think?

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The thing is, there are so many great people in my life. I’m just surrounded by them. I have very little patience for people who are selfish, people who are unkind, people who thrive on making other people feel bad. We need to spend our time celebrating the good people, and to spend zero time thinking about the toxic ones. I’m so lucky to have all of you in my life, and you know who you are. xoxoxo

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Happy fall with the Manitoba maple, 2008.

IMG_1707 IMG_1711 IMG_1714 (2) Jakeleaves

Royal Baby Watch Outweighs Snow In September

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It isn’t every morning you wake up to find out that you are on Royal Baby Watch! I love happy news, and a new baby – especially a sibling for the Prince of Cuteness – is wonderfully happy. The only thing that makes me a little misty is that last time I was on Royal Baby Watch, I was on Royal Baby Watch with my grandma. Grandma and I would have very involved, serious chats about pregnancy, maternity clothing, boys versus girls and how one carries them, and, after the birth, the question of the Royal Baby Name. I was strongly on Team George but Grandma thought Charles might be the name, and when the name was revealed I practically broke my leg running to the phone to call her. “GUESS WHAT GRANDMA IT’S GEORGE IT’S GEORGE IT’S GEORGE.”

It also isn’t every morning that you wake up to see this:

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It begins…

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Does white go with purple?

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The plants are not happy.

 

September 8 is a wee bit early for snow, even for Calgary, so the entire city is ensconced in a mixture of gloom and also that special kind of martyrdom that comes with snow in September. Sure, things might be bad where you are, but WE HAVE SNOW ON THE GROUND ON SEPTEMBER 8. Well, at least it gives us something to talk about. Remember when you were a bratty teenager and you couldn’t imagine why people would spend their precious time talking about something as pedestrian as the weather? It’s so boring, GOD, MOTHER, why do people always TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER. Complete with eye-rolling, I did pose this question to my long-suffering mother, once upon a time, who gently informed me that people discuss such topics because they affect us all, and sometimes talking about dull and trivial things – without eye-rolling – shows that you can behave in a socially-acceptable manner. Not every conversation has to be ground-breaking and/or profound.

Yesterday I took Barkley for what should have been a fifteen minute walk, which turned into a forty-five minute one due to three separate non-ground-breaking-nor-profound conversations with my neighbours. In addition to the weather we also talked about different dog breeds, Barkley’s excellent behaviour around children and his ability to be a guard dog, the fleeting nature of time, the public parking situation on our street, tomato plants, and how Barkley and the neighbour’s cats really are friends, deep down inside. This latter topic was met with some opposition by me, and possibly by Barkley, who was rearing up on his hind legs and lunging at said cat, who was temptingly dangled over him in my neighbour’s arms. I need offer no further comment, I think, except that possibly some people spend too much time thinking that Barkley is actually a stuffed animal, rather than a bloodthirsty hound in a fluffy and cute disguise.

On that topic, the walk was also a bit longer than necessary because I had to scold and coax poor Barkley, who found a) a dead bird on our front sidewalk, who had possibly knocked himself dead on the front window and who looked, to Barkley, like the most appetizing of snacks, and b) a dead squirrel who appeared to be sleeping peacefully on the sidewalk, but was, in fact, dead. Barkley seemed to think that this squirrel would be a more substantial but still very appetizing snack, and since I was so mean about the bird, he thought he should have it. It took some leash-pulling and coaxing to make our way around it. The cause of death was not obvious, but it isn’t every day you see a non-squashed squirrel just lying in the middle of the sidewalk. See what happens when you leave the nut tree, Scaredy Squirrel? BAD THINGS. Snow in September!

Roh-roh. That’s not a Scooby Snack.

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Yesterday I heard a story on the radio about a Great Dane who had gotten very sick. The owners thought that he had eaten something strange, and so took him to the vet, who performed exploratory surgery. The vet found in the dog’s stomach 43 socks. Happily, the dog is on the mend and is expected to make a full recovery, although one would hope that the owners will find a way to lock up the dirty laundry.

This image stayed with me all day, the image of a Scooby-Doo-like Great Dane furtively sneaking into the laundry bin and munching down every sock he could find. It was sort of like when Homer Simpson was caught on tape eating tulips. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Although, when I told Jake, he was not amused. “Who has 43 socks lying around?” he demanded. “Why did they keep buying new socks?” He has a point. One would think one would notice 43 missing socks, although who knows how long it took to eat so many. Or perhaps they had a very large family with lots of stray socks, but in any case Jake’s question did add a new angle to it. And a little child shall teach us.

Speaking of the little children, yesterday Mark applied to be a school patroller, and if that wasn’t “sunrise, sunset” enough, today Jake got his first phone call from a girl. So it begins!

Also beginning: the countdown to Christmas, apparently. I picked up my copy of the Sears Wish Book and I cannot wait to open it. I’ve been saving it for just the right moment, which I suspect is coming very soon, given that it’s Friday and I have a glass of wine in my hand. Expect many Sears Wish Book posts to come, dear reader.

One might think that I’m a little premature with the countdown to Christmas, but I might as well resign myself to the fact that winter is coming because next week’s forecast calls for snow. Snow! I thought I could hold off another week without buying Mark winter boots – his old ones fit Jake – but no, that cannot be. Today I took the boys to get boots, and I discovered that Mark is now in the last possible children’s size. Next year, it will be MEN’s boots. I will be shopping in the men’s section for him. I need offer no further comment.

Thank you to all who played along with my book game. I haven’t done a giveaway in a while so I decided to draw not one, not two, but three names: StephLove, smothermother, and Valerie Dunsmore – you are all winners! Your prizes will be sent to you as soon as possible (but probably not until later next week).

Happy Friday everyone! I’m throwing a baby shower tomorrow – a baby is in my circle! – and so I’ll be doing lots of baby snuggling and eating, which is a pretty nice way to spend a Saturday, don’t you think? xo

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon.

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Yesterday I was so melancholy; the summer was just so full of fun and sunshine and it felt, yesterday, like a plug had been pulled. Suddenly, it’s fall. Suddenly, it’s back to school. Suddenly, my children are all grown up with gangly limbs and giant teeth and floppy clown feet.

Of course, none of this was sudden at all. There’s been a slight chill in the air for the last ten days, the kids have had gangly limbs, giant teeth, and floppy clown feet for a while now, and as for back to school, well, it’s not like I didn’t know it was coming. Fortunately getting back into routine is exactly like riding a bike; we have all adjusted exactly as if summer never happened. The only one in our family who hasn’t adjusted is the dog, who is moping weirdly around the house and then flopping sadly on the floor. Or maybe I’m projecting here.

It’s gloomy and drizzly, and so I decided to work on a savoury new pasta sauce. I turned on the radio to eliminate the creepy silence in the house, and as the warm smells of garlic and mushrooms filled the kitchen, Landslide came on the radio. LANDSLIDE. On the first day of school, as I live and breathe. Maybe the radio programmers have a maudlin sense of humour, because right after that was Talking In Your Sleep by Gordon Lightfoot, and really, what could be more melancholy than that combination? At least it wasn’t Cat’s in the Cradle, I guess.

This past weekend we attended another wedding, and a few days prior to that I took the kids up to stay at my parents’ place at the lake. Rarely do I do a solo road trip with the kids; I don’t like highway driving as a rule, and the QEII is a crazy speedway at the best of times. I headed out Thursday around lunchtime, and the light drizzle quickly turned into pouring rain. Two hours of driving in pouring rain with almost no visibility pretty much did me in. By the time I arrived at my parents’ place – at which the sun was shining and there was no rain whatsoever – my hands hurt from white-knuckling the steering wheel and I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. The kids, on the other hand, were completely oblivious to my plight, having donned their headphones to watch a movie in the back. I felt somewhat virtuous for shielding them from my driving angst, so immediately accepted a nice vodka cooler and a seat on the porch. I had to make the return trip all by myself a few days later – having left the kids with Grandma – and happily, it was completely uneventful.

So ends the summer, I guess. The first morning of Grade Four and Five seemed to go off without a hitch; everyone is happy with their teachers and their classes, so hopefully it’s a good omen for the year to come!

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The first time ever they have “dressed up” for school.

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Who’s excited? THIS GUY. Also the other guy.

More Kitchen Love!

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So many sad things happening in the world, and I seem to be coping by not turning the news on, ever, and closing my eyes when I see any link on social media that isn’t a picture of a baby animal or a recipe. It’s maybe not the best coping strategy, but it seems to be working for me.

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We interrupt this program to bring you a picture of Barkley.

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And also a cute pineapple named Piney.

 Also I’m having a lot of solo kitchen dance parties and karaoke parties. I’m blaming it all…on the nights on Broadway! I’m in week two of the Kitchn Cure, and this week was all about appliances. One of the specific tasks was to clean the oven, and to be honest, I think I’ve only cleaned my oven two or three times in my whole life. Not too long ago, I used the self-cleaning function, which was a huge mistake. I spent the hours terrified that the oven would somehow blow up due to excessive heat, and I also did not have the foresight to do this job in the summer, so the entire house was filled with a terrible, choking smell. After the whole process, I expected the oven to be a glossy shrine, but it didn’t look that much different, to be honest. It was no fridge cleaning experience, let me tell you.

Still. I signed up for the Kitchn Cure and the Kitchn Cure I will do, dammit. I bought a fume-free, probably carcinogenic oven cleaning product, followed the directions, and…it looks marginally better. AT LEAST I CAN SAY I CLEANED MY OVEN. I also cleaned the stovetop and hood fan, but you really can’t tell all that much.

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Maybe it was clean enough before.

This week’s assignments were also to clean and evaluate all small appliances, and then BUY  small appliance if needed. I haven’t bought one yet but I am planning to purchase a crockpot in the near future. I know what you’re thinking, you don’t already have one?, and the answer is no, I do not. I know! Just when you thought I had every small appliance in the world except an electric can opener.

Digression: is an electric can opener not the most ridiculous invention ever? How many cans are we opening here, people, to necessitate an electronic process?

In any case, at some point I will be looking for a crockpot, so any advice on what to look for is greatly appreciated. Because talking about cleaning appliances is the most boring thing ever – I’m putting myself to sleep just typing this – I am going to just talk about my favourite small appliances. First, to the left of the stove is my stand mixer, which is a wonderful piece of equipment. What I did without it I do not know. It’s a thing of beauty, and it even has a timer for those recipes that are weirdly exact (“Beat at medium for 3 minutes.”).

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Coffee maker and toaster; I don’t think I need to tell you why they are favourite appliances.

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Food processor and Vitamix.

A few people have asked me if the Vitamix is a worthwhile investment, and my answer is that it depends. For me, it is, because I’m always making weird things like cashew cheese or nut butters or green smoothies that really require a high powered blender. It’s great for soups and sauces as well. However! It is NOT interchangeable with a food processor. If I’m making something thick, like a hummus or a tahini ball or a mousse pie, then I only use the food processor. I just don’t find that the Vitamix does as good of a job getting the consistency right, and also it is a bitch to get thick stuff out of the bottom, around the blade. It’s worthwhile to me to have both because it’s used for 10 smoothies a week, plus a food processor just does not do a good job pulverizing cashews or almonds for creams or cheeses, which is a big thing for me. Before you buy, really evaluate what you want it for, because a blender with less power might work just fine, or a food processor might be a better bet.

The other two appliances that I like, but don’t use enough to justify counter space are my dehydrator and my juicer. They live in my pantry downstairs, and the dehydrator is set up so that I never have to move it. It’s almost that time of the year again, when Concord grapes are in season and my mother-in-law will inevitably gift me with forty pounds worth. Homemade grape fruit leather is pretty much snack ever, and I’m looking forward to that.

Thus ends my discussion of small appliances. So, tell me, what kind of crockpot should I look for? What are your favourite small appliances? How often do YOU clean your oven (i.e., am I disgusting and lazy for almost never doing it?).