Royal Baby Watch Outweighs Snow In September

It isn’t every morning you wake up to find out that you are on Royal Baby Watch! I love happy news, and a new baby – especially a sibling for the Prince of Cuteness – is wonderfully happy. The only thing that makes me a little misty is that last time I was on Royal Baby Watch, I was on Royal Baby Watch with my grandma. Grandma and I would have very involved, serious chats about pregnancy, maternity clothing, boys versus girls and how one carries them, and, after the birth, the question of the Royal Baby Name. I was strongly on Team George but Grandma thought Charles might be the name, and when the name was revealed I practically broke my leg running to the phone to call her. “GUESS WHAT GRANDMA IT’S GEORGE IT’S GEORGE IT’S GEORGE.”

It also isn’t every morning that you wake up to see this:


It begins…


Does white go with purple?


The plants are not happy.


September 8 is a wee bit early for snow, even for Calgary, so the entire city is ensconced in a mixture of gloom and also that special kind of martyrdom that comes with snow in September. Sure, things might be bad where you are, but WE HAVE SNOW ON THE GROUND ON SEPTEMBER 8. Well, at least it gives us something to talk about. Remember when you were a bratty teenager and you couldn’t imagine why people would spend their precious time talking about something as pedestrian as the weather? It’s so boring, GOD, MOTHER, why do people always TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER. Complete with eye-rolling, I did pose this question to my long-suffering mother, once upon a time, who gently informed me that people discuss such topics because they affect us all, and sometimes talking about dull and trivial things – without eye-rolling – shows that you can behave in a socially-acceptable manner. Not every conversation has to be ground-breaking and/or profound.

Yesterday I took Barkley for what should have been a fifteen minute walk, which turned into a forty-five minute one due to three separate non-ground-breaking-nor-profound conversations with my neighbours. In addition to the weather we also talked about different dog breeds, Barkley’s excellent behaviour around children and his ability to be a guard dog, the fleeting nature of time, the public parking situation on our street, tomato plants, and how Barkley and the neighbour’s cats really are friends, deep down inside. This latter topic was met with some opposition by me, and possibly by Barkley, who was rearing up on his hind legs and lunging at said cat, who was temptingly dangled over him in my neighbour’s arms. I need offer no further comment, I think, except that possibly some people spend too much time thinking that Barkley is actually a stuffed animal, rather than a bloodthirsty hound in a fluffy and cute disguise.

On that topic, the walk was also a bit longer than necessary because I had to scold and coax poor Barkley, who found a) a dead bird on our front sidewalk, who had possibly knocked himself dead on the front window and who looked, to Barkley, like the most appetizing of snacks, and b) a dead squirrel who appeared to be sleeping peacefully on the sidewalk, but was, in fact, dead. Barkley seemed to think that this squirrel would be a more substantial but still very appetizing snack, and since I was so mean about the bird, he thought he should have it. It took some leash-pulling and coaxing to make our way around it. The cause of death was not obvious, but it isn’t every day you see a non-squashed squirrel just lying in the middle of the sidewalk. See what happens when you leave the nut tree, Scaredy Squirrel? BAD THINGS. Snow in September!


  1. The ending of this cracked me right up!

  2. I remember vividly the day that I wondered where pigeons went to die. From that day on, I have seen quite a lot of dead pigeons. Be careful what you wish for.

  3. Oh dear. Poor Scaredy. He obviously forgot to take his emergency kit. He planned for the sharks and germs, but no one saw that snow coming!

    It’s too soon!

    Poor you!

  4. Barkley is so fluffy and awesome, I can see why it would be hard to accept that he is, however distantly, related to wolves. Still carnivores, people! All the time!

    I will Royal Baby Watch with you. I know it won’t be the same as with your Grandma, but I’ll need something to get me through this winter that has apparently ALREADY STARTED, SWEET JESUS.

  5. Snow is September is just wrong. I don’t care where you live (well, except maybe the southern hemisphere and both poles but even in the southern hemisphere it would be trying in a when-will-this-be-over kind of way.)

  6. I always talk about the weather because I suck at small talk. It is a conversation staple with my son’s crossing guard because she can barely speak English. She gets the shitty weather talk.
    Dogs find the specialist of things. Weirdos.
    My condolences on the snow. Keep that crap out west.

Leave a Reply