Last week my phone lit up with a notification from my friend Glenn (HI GLENN), from whom I hadn’t heard from in a while. We used to practice early morning Mysore yoga together, many years ago, and he kindly followed along with my family’s adventures, specifically the time when my younger son was the drummer for a band called Ded Brik, whose practice session was cut short one day when the guitarist’s neighbours called the police for a noise complaint, at two o’clock in the afternoon. Ah, pandemic days. It’s great how we were all collectively insane. In any case, I hadn’t heard from Glenn in a long while, and so I quickly opened his message.
I cannot take ALL the credit for BC’s decision to adopt Daylight Saving Time year-round, but I have been publicly raging against that particular pointless machine for 17 years. I’ll take a little credit, although I will believe it when it happens. My fragile heart cannot handle being shattered again. I am still scarred from the Alberta referendum which ended NOT in favour of stopping the ridiculous practice of changing clocks twice a year, merely because people could not agree if Standard or Daylight Saving was superior. I am Team Pick A Time And Stick With It, For Fuck’s Sake, I Don’t Care. There are pros and cons on both sides, LET’S JUST STOP THE MADNESS. I for one will be happy when the sun doesn’t set at 3:56 pm in December, and YES, the flip side is that it won’t rise until 8:45 am but it’s Canada. We don’t get much daylight in December, accept it and MOVE ON.
Anyway, the news we will not be going through this spring-forward-fall-back construct and that parents throughout this province will no longer be emotionally destroyed twice a year was a bright spot in an otherwise terrifying, bleak, and spiral-into-despair dystopian news cycle.
I texted the above gif to my older son, who immediately responded with I’m a fake? How’d you like to be dead, which reminded me of one of my favourite things: the call and response of pop culture. I know that if I texted my friend Hannah (HI HANNAH) with only the words Maybe it’s the beer talking that she would immediately respond with You got a butt that won’t quit. My friend Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) and I share an affinity for 1990s Adam Sandler; I know that I could tell her that she is a nice piece of ace and she would know exactly what I mean.
After Hannah responded to my It WAS a good name, until that no-talent ass clown started winning Grammies with Why should I change my name? He’s the one that sucks, we talked about this phenomenon, how the call and response makes a person feel seen and known. Hannah said that it was all about pattern recognition and identifying your people, and that rewatching media is about comfort and predictability. I think she is exactly right; I never before or since felt such a strong feeling of connection with my sister-in-law’s boyfriend than when he once said genially IT’S ALL PIPES.
Hannah said I actually think the increasingly fragmented media landscape has contributed to loss of social cohesion and she’s right. Obviously, not everything that is happening these days can be attributed to a lack of a must-see TV night, but it doesn’t help that we are all over the place, all the time when it comes to pop culture.
I tried to join the modern world last week by watching A Love Story, which is the story of JFK Jr and Caroline Bessette. I will go to my grave saying that Carole Radziwill’s What Remains is the best celebrity memoir of all time, and I have been low-key obsessed with it since I first read it in 2006. I thought she would be a key character in A Love Story so I tuned in, only to be constantly enraged by the idiocy and entitlement that comes with being a Kennedy man. After a quick search, I learned that Carole Radziwill isn’t even a character in this show, as she is not deemed to be important enough to be in the story. She was Carolyn Bessette’s best friend, and married to JFK Jr’s cousin and best friend Anthony Radziwill, who IS in the show, which feels PRETTY IMPORTANT. I immediately abandoned ship, as I’m Team I’m Here For Carole And No One Else, and also, I don’t need to be constantly enraged by JFK Jr and his stupid hats.
Before you ask, I have not and I will not watch the Real Housewives franchise that features Carole Radziwill, not because I’m a snob – given the chance, I’d watch Family Feud until the cows come home – but because there are just too many seasons. It’s overwhelming. Also I really don’t want to watch women screaming at each other, which I assume is a large part of the “storyline,” if indeed there is a storyline on a reality television show.
I did, however, recently watch a movie that I cannot stop thinking about, and that is The Best You Can starring Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick. First of all, how is Kevin Bacon still so hot? He might even be hotter than he ever was, or my tastes have just skewed older. I was on the plane from Vancouver to Hong Kong, and the premise intrigued me, but the headphones provided with the system did not work. I watched it silently, with closed captioning, and then on the next leg of the flight – mere hours later – I watched it again, this time with working headphones. It’s only available for purchase right now, or I would be watching it every single day. Alas. To fill the void, I have been watching Vladimir with my husband, which is also excellent – sexy but not porny, so I don’t feel weird if one of my sons is at home – and features John Slattery, who you may remember from Mad Men.
I cannot speak for all women, but what I wanted was to stop changing clocks and now – hopefully, please, let this happen – I am going to get it.
Weekly Reading
I had another DNF this week, it was So Old So Young. I abandoned it at 53 pages, and those 53 pages were a draggy slog for me, with SO many characters, none of which I cared about. My resolution to DNF more is resolution-ing! But maybe I should have done that more this week.
Wild Hope. Would you like some uplifting poetry? Of course you would! This is the collection for you. I have been reading a poem a day (or thereabouts) before my morning yoga practice, and they have been so uplifting and inspiring. The theme is – obviously, from the title – how to find hope in the world when things seem broken. THIS RESONATES. It’s a really beautiful collection about finding happiness and hope within ourselves and with our relationships with people and the natural world.
The Latecomer. Wow, wow, WOW. This book! I loved every word of this dense, nuanced, character-driven novel about a family with triplets who – despite their mother’s desperate best efforts – cannot wait to leave home, and each other. As the triplets prepare to leave for college, their mother has what seems like a Landslide moment and promptly adds another baby to the family. But things are not what they seem – secrets abound, and things are unravelling. Every character in this book is layered and rich and interesting. There was a plot twist I did not see coming, and the ending was eminently satisfying. I loved this so much.
Finding Grace. I…do not know what to say. I really don’t know how to review this book without spoilers, but I’m going to try. There is a wildly unexpected occurrence in the first chapter that sets everything in motion, namely a very weird series of coincidences which lead to a very weird relationship. I would go so far as to say a creepy and inappropriate relationship. And the ending was weirdly unexpected and tied everything up in a weirdly neat bow. So. I guess this book is about grief and also about a marriage that sounds kind of shitty, and about how keeping secrets can be toxic and how people aren’t always what they seem? I guess? Other than the children, the characters are across the board pretty unlikeable, and the story itself goes in a lot of directions.
The Stationery Shop. It’s not you, it’s me. I know – I KNOW – that historical fiction rarely works for me, and this didn’t. I was optimistic that I would enjoy this, after listening to The Rest Is History’s fascinating series on the 1953 ousting of the Iranian Prime Minister and the subsequent Revolution of 1979, which is the backdrop for this love story. I should have known better. It did not work for me; these sorts of books are just too contrived and stilted for my taste.
My husband asked me if I have become more critical in my reading, from my own writing experience, and I would say that I have become more analytical. My mind, like our society, has become polarized: on the one hand, being transported by a book like The Latecomers fills me with awe and admiration. It’s really hard to write a book, and to write a book like The Latecomers is an incredible feat indeed. On the other hand, I find it kind of disheartening when I read a book that has a lot of buzz and love, and it leaves me cold. Well, there’s something for everyone, I suppose, and tastes differ. On a literary note, the lovely Jacqui (HI JACQUI) mentioned a zero-cost way to support me, should you be so inclined, which is to request a copy of Inhale Exhale at your local library. That would be a huge help – there are literally millions of books coming out every year, and mine is but a tiny drop in the ocean. I’d love it to be as accessible as possible. Thank you, friends, for reading along. Have a beautiful week! xo
I was thinking of you when I saw the news about BC’s decision to make this the last time change! Hallelujah for you!!! I’ve read that it’s the one issue that all Americans agree on, yet you know it will never happen. I guess I need to move to that area of Arizona that refuses to participate in DST (and that was a PITA when making reservations for things!)
I’ve only watched a handful of movies in the last 30 years, but I do know my Real Housewives. Carole was the voice of reason on that NY franchise and I loved her. The memoir was just an ‘ok’ for me. I’m surprised you liked it so much. I’ll tell you what I’m loving right now: Heart the Lover! What a fabulous book! So relatable to my own college years. Thank you for that recommendation. XO
Nicole, I don’t think I have ever been so jealous, haha! “Spring forward Monday” is not going well over here from my daughter’s devastation that it was still “dark o’clock” when she woke up to the dogs’ confusion when we came downstairs (well, Maysie is always excited so she may not understand the vibe in this house right now)… I’m so glad you’re free from this!!
Whoa there! In spite of all my complaining about springing ahead, I would rather keep changing the clocks- gasp- than be permanently in DST. If we’re going to stop, I want to turn the clocks BACK one more time and stay there. Think how dark it will be in those winter months, every morning. Well, I guess it won’t matter as much to me when I no longer have kids in school. But still… I think this is why we haven’t ditched the time change here- people can’t decide which time to stay on permanently. Anyway- you’re obviously happy with this, so I’m happy for you!
I’ve heard of The Latecomer before, and it sounds really good. After your review, I’m putting it on my TBR.
I’m jealous The time switch is not as bad as when you have cranky small children for a whole week, but it is a pain, even now.
My brother-in-law (sister’s husband, not B’s brother) looks remarkably like Kevin Bacon, just a little younger.
I wish Ontario would do the same about the time thing – either EST or EDT – I don’t care which, just choose one and stick with it. But of course we have to wait for the states to the south of us to agree! I enjoyed The Stationery Shop, not just for the story, but because of the history, which I did not know that much about except I knew of the revolution in 1979 because I was living in the ME at the time, but, being young, didn’t go searching for more on it (no internet!!). So when I was reading the book, it did spur me to go online and look up more details.
I also loathe the time change, and like you I am Team Pick A Time And Stick With It, For Fuck’s Sake, I Don’t Care. This morning wasn’t quite as awful as usual because my entire sense of time has been thrown off since surgery on Friday, so I just sort of rolled with it and got up without anguish. But honestly, why must we go through this again and again? I am jealous of your people with your sense on this issue.
The US stayed on DST in 1974 (Nixon signed it into law, Ford signed it out of law) and it was wildly unpopular due to dark mornings and kids going to school in the dark. Perhaps being in Canada you all are used to going to school in the dark (I lived in Alaska as a kid, we definitely went to school in the dark, and came home in the dark, and just generally lived in the dark). I hope you do not suffer the fate of the US, and go back to switching. Like Jenny, I would much prefer to stay on Standard time, and like you, if we could just pick a lane and stick with it, life would be better.
Many years ago we ended up having dinner with some people we didn’t know, and Seinfeld references saved a very awkward evening. It was my BFF’s brother-in-law and his wife, and we had nothing in common. They had us over for dinner and served us meat with no vegetables. Their veggie drawer was used for beer. Very weird. They were also very socially awkward and like us, probably wondering why the hell we were all getting together to eat a meal. Thank god someone brought up Seinfeld, and we all did call and response for the rest of the evening until we could reasonably get the hell out of there.
I liked The Stationary Shop, yet again proving that we all have different tastes. I just put The Latecomer on my TBR. It’s available right away, so will likely be my next listen after I finish listening to The Age of Innocence.
I requested Inhale Exhale from my library. Fingers crossed!
Nicole. I am sitting here seething with jealousy. I mean…I’m happy for you and all of BC…but I am boiling over with pure jealousy! Why can’t we stop the DST madness? It makes me so crabby! I’m crabby right now at this moment with one hour less sleep. Uggggggg.
I’m donating a hard cover copy of your book to my library, and I’m hoping that it’ll be well-read and requested by Interlibrary Loan. How fun! Maybe it’ll even be sent to one of your blog readers! If anyone orders a book through Interlibrary Loan, see if it came from Montana!
If I were to ever run for office (which would never happen), my main platform would be getting rid of DST. It is ridiculous that we are still doing this. I do better with springing ahead than falling back. But with young kids, I’d rather have more daylight in the evening than the morning. But I literally have 0 F’s to give about how it’s actually brought to an end. Just do away with this silliness for once and for all.
I loved “So Young, So Old” (or is is So old, so young?) but I really like books about college friends where we get to see them at various points of their lives. There were a lot of characters to keep straight. I took Finding Grace off my TBR after a couple of bad reviews of it, and now I feel like that was certainly the right decision! I’m reading “This Book Made Me Think of You” which has a sad premise – a husband dies but before he dies, he leaves a book at a book shelf for his widow for each month of the year. Plus it’s set in London which makes it feel extra cozy/special for some reason? And before that, I finished your gem of a book which I basically inhaled! It was so wonderful! When I ordered it from my adopted indie bookstore in Georgia, they book it on their website so I hope others discover it that way!
I did not want much tv in the 80s and 90s because we didn’t have cable and my parents were kind of strict about tv/movies, so I miss 90% of Phil’s movie or television references. I am just plain confused when he says things like, “it has a pool and a pond” for example (Caddy Shack). It’s like we speak different languages.
I agree with you, pick a time, anytime, but just pick one already! The hour difference in time didn’t upset my sleep pattern, but I hated getting up in the morning and physically changing all those clocks – oven, microwave, coffee maker etc. Now, hopefully, I won’t have to do that.
Thanks for the shout out. When I read “lovely Jacquie” my first thought was, “Oh, Nicole has a friend name Jacquie like me” LOL. You made my morning 🙂
First of all, I have to say that I would never read Finding Grace because I find that cover art to be entirely and shockingly off-putting. Seriously, it’s extremely difficult to look at. And yes, I’m familiar with the creaky adage about books/covers/judgments.
Secondly, I loathe the time change with all my being, even now when I am retired and time doesn’t have that much effect on me. It’s just so primitive and silly. You are preaching to the person who is still amazed that we have to eliminate bodily waste into a receptacle specially made for that in our homes. This is 2026, the 21st century! Why is there not a pill that does away with such an ugly and primal function? Also, where is my flying car like the Jetsons promised me?
Whoa way to go BC!!! Congrats on your final “spring forward”.
I wasn’t going to watch Love Story anyway, but how dare they leave Carole out? Also no to Real Housewives for the same reason as you. I just don’t have the time and don’t find it entertaining to watch people scream at each other.
I can’t exactly explain why sometimes I pick up a book become instantly immersed and other times my eyes start skimming immediately and I get the “I would rather watch paint dry” feeling, but it’s a real thing. The bottom line is that if I spend time reading a book that isn’t doing it for me, then it’s keeping me from reading a book that I could be loving.
I read like three Reddit threads about clocks changing over the weekend and came to the conclusion that I don’t know what we should do. Changing clocks is dangerous (car accidents! heart attacks!), but keeping the clocks is also dangerous (more people out in the AM OR PM when it’s dark!). I’m mildly inconvenienced by a certain feline screaming for food in the fall and someone has to change the clocks (*ahem* my husband has to change the clocks), but otherwise it’s a wash for me. I want to have strong opinions, but I DO NOT. I see both sides and NOW I’M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.
(I do not understand any of your pop culture references. I am lame.)
srsly– no changing the clocks! I’ll be running in the dark for WEEKS now. Bah. Also I really DO think the fragmented media landscape is responsible for the total collapse of democracy over here south of your border. Alternate facts and all.
We aloo voted to end the madness of time change but it requires an act of Congress (literally) for it to happen and they are currently busy (half of them destroying our country, half of them trying to figure out how to stop the other half). So now we’ll be an hour off from each other for six months ever year?
No clock changes in South Africa! (Imagine the chaos!)
When everyone in Europe changes their clocks at the end of March, we just stay the same and they’re aligned with us again.
Although it’s not entirely a win… for a few months we have that glorious one-hour-ahead advantage, which is very useful when you’re in a daily Wordle race with your dad and sister.
Love your movie dedication on the plane is! Watching “The Best You Can” silently with captions and then immediately re-watching it with sound is real commitment. I hope it shows up on our flight in April!