The Boys Are Back In Town
My husband and son have returned from their hiking trip in Scotland! They hiked the West Highland Way, which worked out to be 154 kilometres over eight days, and they enjoyed Edinburgh as well. It was quite the adventure, and it’s great to have them home.
After two weeks of eating out, they were pretty excited for some, as my husband put it, home cooking. For some reason that phrase feels like a weird sexual euphemism, I blame Paul Newman. In any case, both of them requested a Big Fun Salad, and I was only too happy to comply.
Salad Days
They had great timing, as it turned out, because I just cut what was the last of the kale and spinach. I have pulled the plants and will be reseeding in a few weeks, when the bulk of the hot weather has subsided for the year, and hopefully I will have a nice fall harvest.
I guess it will be farm market kale and spinach for me until mid-September, but in the meantime, I am not short of tomatoes or zucchini.
Zen and the Art of Gardening and Piano Playing
These vegetables don’t grow themselves, people. Well, the zucchinis kind of do. But the garden itself takes a lot of work and I spend at least an hour a day tending to it, the perennials, and my flower pots. I always leave my phone in the house and just concentrate on the plants, and it is a very zen practice. There is something so meditative about weeding, which, along with laundry, is one of the most Sisyphean tasks ever. Other Sisyphean garden tasks include picking tomatoes and zucchini, but those tasks at least result in yumminess.
I read The Connection Cure this week – more about that in the Weekly Reading section – and it sparked a lot of thinking about the things we do for our mental and physical health. Gardening is one of them for me, but I don’t know if I would say that I am always in the moment while doing it. More likely, while I weed or deadhead or harvest, my mind is wandering about what the hell am I going to do with all these tomatoes, do I have time to roast them later to freeze, and how long will it take to grate up all these zucchinis, and also what am I going to write about this week, and would anyone be interested in a deep dive on The Duchess, and how sexy was Ralph Fiennes, and I wonder if The English Patient is on Netflix and would it be weird to just fast-forward to all the sexy scenes, and how Lady Chatterley’s Lover was basically soft-core porn, and also they changed the ending, and oh my god, look at that butterfly!
Similar things happen in my brain when I’m walking or cooking or doing anything household-task-related, but almost never while I’m exercising or practicing yoga. The one time I can guarantee that I will 100% be in the moment is when I’m playing piano. I have seen people carry on conversations while playing, but I absolutely cannot. I don’t even think about the next note, I am only ever thinking about the note I am playing the second that I am playing it, which makes it, for me, the most Zen practice of them all. I mean, if I so much as thought of Ralph Fiennes I would lose my place in the music, let alone any idle thoughts about my husband pretending to be a gamekeeper on a large English estate, asking me if I would like coarser treatment.
Freshen Your Drink, Governor?
As I mentioned last week, I have taken the opportunity of alone time to watch several British period dramas, and they have not disappointed. Despite my general dislike of book-to-screen adaptations, I rewatched Sense and Sensibility, which, along with Emma and Pride and Prejudice, cycles in and out of being my Number One Jane Austen Favourite Book. I also watched the aforementioned Lady Chatterley’s Lover, which contains not only full frontal nudity but also such graphic sex scenes that I did wonder how they could possibly be filmed without actual penetration, or at least a massive boner on the part of the gamekeeper. I score pretty much zero on the Kinsey scale, and yet I never want to see full frontal male nudity on the big screen, even when the screen is just my TV. As Elaine Benes said, The female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It’s for getting around, like a Jeep.
Nudity or not, the movie was completely engrossing, as was The Duchess – so good! – and The Other Boleyn Girl, which, along with a rewatch of the first three episodes of Downton Abbey, completed my British Period Drama Fortnight.
There is a growing movement among streaming services to cater to what is called second-screening, which is the phenomenon of watching TV while being on a phone. Streaming services are creating shows that are meant to be watched while distracted, and so there will be a lot of repeated dialogue and summarization of events.
I put the blame entirely on the glorification of multitasking, which I consider to be an incredibly harmful and focus-fracturing concept. Just like I cannot talk and play piano simultaneously, no one, but no one, can actually put mental energy into two things at the same time. It’s just not possible! Sure, we are all listening to podcasts while folding laundry, but I would submit that folding laundry requires very little mental energy. The idea that we can scroll on our phones while watching a movie and absorb any information at all is ridiculous. Bring back single-tasking! Let’s just focus on doing one thing at a time! Including watching TV!
I’m Your Biggest Fan, This Is Stan
Something that almost always absorbs all my attention is a good book; I love that feeling of just sinking into a delicious state of reading. If you follow me on Instagram you know that I post all of my book reviews over there, and I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, I want to be honest in all my reviews, but on the other hand, I don’t want to be mean or negative if I don’t enjoy a book. It’s a tricky balance, but on the flip side, I want everyone to know when I truly love a book, and if you remember from last week, I posted a glowing review about Standard Deviation by one of my favourite authors, Katherine Heiny.
I casually logged into Instagram to see that I had a new follower, and friends, I cannot be calm or casual about this: KATHERINE HEINY HAD FOLLOWED ME. Not only that, but she sent me a direct message saying that she was “flattered to be anyone’s writing goals, but you are very funny already.” OH MY GOD PEOPLE.
I might have passed out for a moment. Katherine Heiny! Sent me a message! I have all of her books on my Favourites Shelf! I am as starstruck as a person could be! Katherine Heiny, who I adore and whose writing is over-the-top incredible!
NO I CANNOT CHILL.
And speaking of books…
Weekly Reading
The Connection Cure. I heard this author interviewed on the Ologies podcast, and I found her so fascinating that I knew I would have to read her book. Social prescriptions are growing around the world, and address environmental factors in wellness; instead of asking “what is the matter with you,”’ the question is “what matters to you.” There is a growing body of empirical evidence that links positive health outcomes with movement, time in nature, artistic endeavours, acts of service, and a feeling of belonging. It is all very common sense, but still it was shocking to me to read about the loneliness epidemic, how it has increased since 2020, and the debilitating impacts it can have on health. An important note is that social prescriptions – finding a community, helping a person discover a feeling of belonging, or joy through art, along with movement practices and time in nature – are to be used in conjunction with modern medicines and therapies. Overall an interesting read.
How To Be Married. Jo Piazza is a pretty buzzy author these days, but this book – part memoir, part non-fiction dive into how marriage is viewed in other countries and cultures – came out in 2017, before the buzz. It’s been a while since I myself was a newlywed – in fact, I don’t really remember what our first year of marriage was like – but I found this to be an entertaining and touching read. The tagline mentions her “really hard” first year of marriage, and my thoughts ran to infidelity, dark secrets, and disagreements about loading the dishwasher, but the reality was much sadder. Four months after she was married, the author learned that she had the genetic mutation for muscular dystrophy, which had left her own father extremely disabled and her mother – his caretaker – to have a nervous breakdown from the stress and resentment that comes from being a caretaker. She also lost her job right after they signed a mortgage on a house in San Francisco, a notoriously expensive city. I found the book very interesting and the peek into other cultures to be fascinating. Apparently I am like a Frenchwoman, I learned, as I would never in a million years use the toilet with the door open. Some things, as the Frenchwomen said, should be private.
The God of Small Things. My friend Maya (HI MAYA) had mentioned this book and I was surprised that I hadn’t already read it, as it was published in 1997. It is a heartbreaking, beautifully written book about a family in Kerlala, a terrible tragedy, and the shocking aftermath. It concerns caste, family ties, and dark secrets, and it is so moving and absolutely compelling. The story jumps timelines which might be confusing to some, but I found I was completely immersed, and so I was able to absorb it in stride.
I’ve wanted to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat for thirty years, and on Friday I finally did! We were in the front row, which meant two of my girlfriends ended up receiving leis from one of the cast members – cue getting lei’d jokes – and it was a really great night out. As a child, the story of Joseph was one that was incredibly wild and disturbing to me – parental favouritism, selling one’s sibling to slavery, tricking another sibling into thinking he was going to be imprisoned or killed – but the musical itself is a hoot. I hope your week is filled with delight and music, and doing only one thing at a time. xo
I am in awe of you receiving a message from Katherine Heiny! I love her writing style, and yours! As for multi-tasking, I too am of the opinion that you cannot multi-task, except for things like folding laundry etc. and, in truth, my laundry folding skills are pathetic so maybe I need to focus more.
I KNOW PEARL!!! I was so excited, I had to phone my husband IN SCOTLAND to tell him!
First of all- I don’t blame you for being so excited about getting a message from Katherine Heiney- THAT IS EXCITING!!! And, fun, and unexpected. When you post something like that you don’t expect the author to read it and respond like that.
Second- seriously? There are not TV shows that are meant to be watched while doing something else? What if you’re NOT doing something else while you watch them- it must be incredibly annoying, with all the repetition. This seems… bad. But, I’m guilty of it- I love watching football, but I’ll often be reading blogs while I’m doing it. There’s something about sporting events that lend themselves to mutiltasking.
I agree with you about music, and as a matter of fact my daughter says that practicing the flute has been very good for her mental health. I think that’s because it’s one of the few times during her day where she isn’t doing two things at once.
I think it’s funny that your husband and son came home nd requested a big salad… that wouldn’t happen in my house!
I would submit that watching sports doesn’t really require that much mental attention – so reading blogs while having the game on seems totally reasonable to me! After all, you’re not the coach! You don’t need to figure out strategy!
Big fun salad night is very popular in this house! We have it once a week, with fresh baked crusty bread (and, full disclosure, the guys also get chicken breast)
I never expect authors to actually read my reviews BUT I am also like “what if they do” so I want to make sure I never say anything mean if I DON’T like a book.
I bet is’s nice to be reunited.
Your garden output is impressive.
How fun and exciting to get a message from an author you admire.
I have been meaning to read The God of Small Things forever and I think we even have a copy in the house.
The God of Small Things is SO good and I really feel weird that it’s taken me this long to read it!
Welcome home boys!
It would be exciting enough to get a follow and a DM for any author, but getting the shout out from Katherine Heiny is next level. I started reading SD right after I left you, and I quickly got pulled in. The struggle is real because I want to keep reading but I don’t want it to end. Thankfully I’m only halfway through.
I think the multitasking thing I why I don’t watch a lot of TV shows. I’m all too susceptible toward picking up my phone while I’m watching TV, but when the show is still boring even with distractions, it’s a bad show.
I am here for all of the Seinfeld gifs! Hubs and I are still in the middle of the last season of our rewatch, which will resume when I get home tomorrow (sad to leave, happy to be back with the fam).
That’s exactly how I feel about all of her books – I love them, can’t stop reading them, but also I want them to last forever? THE STRUGGLE IS REAL, HOP ON BOARD THE BIRCHIE/ NICOLE STRUGGLE BUS.
I am so jealous of all your tomatoes. Those little things are like candy to me; I’d walk by and pop them into my mouth all day long.
The Multitasking Myth has persisted for so long now. It defies basic common sense. As a former teacher and as a mom, I know that anything less than paying full attention leads to problems. Duh.
Congrats on the follow and Personal Message! from KH. That’s a big deal.
(I love, love, love all the Seinfeld gifs. If there were ever a biopic of my life, Julia Louis-Dreyfus would play me.)
Nance, thank you for validating me! I remember job descriptions about “being able to multitask” and I think it is just such a terrible concept. We miss out on so much when we multitask.
Too bad you aren’t closer, I’d invite you to just pick as many tomatoes as you wanted to snack on!
OMG! Katherine Heiny! Wow! I would have been shaking with excitement over something like that! Wow wow wow. I also really love her books. I haven’t read all of them, so I need to check out more of her backlist. I really loved Standard Deviation! I mean I was bound to like a book with a math/stats themed title! I’m not on social media as you know, but knowing you post all of your book reviews on IG makes me want to join and just follow you. Ha.
The Connection Cure sounds really interesting. I can see that we are in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. Heck, I feel lonely at times and I’m in a house full of loud children that smother me with their love. But I miss adult conversations with people who aren’t my colleagues at work… We did have another couple over for dinner on Saturday night so we are getting better at seeing people socially now that the kids are a bit easier to manage. Although Phil and I really wondered what their kids, ages 8 and 10, said about our kids on the ride home. Their oldest is a very mature girl and their 8yo was a pretty quiet/shy child. My kids were running in circles with excitement over having friends over so their were next level excited and had no chill about having dinner guests…
Lisa, I almost died. KATHERINE HEINY. MESSAGED ME. I have and love all her books!
It’s so interesting that with all our connectivity, we are lonelier than ever. I really think it has to do with how fragmented we all are. Also I think that we have some shame/ guilt around things, and are wary of opening up as a general society. The real intimacy comes from being real and open, in my view, which feels hard sometimes.
“Sisyphean tasks”! I love that phrase, thanks for that!
I don’t have a garden, and I regret it. Gardening feels like one of the most natural, grounding activities – being in nature, working with the earth, watching things grow. It’s creative, healthy, meditative, and you get something useful out of it. Win-win.
Huge congrats on Katherine Heiny following you and messaging! Who knows, maybe one day we’ll be in awe because YOU reply to US!
Your husband and son came back craving salad – did they survive on haggis long enough to want something fresh? 😅
Catrina, you won’t believe it, but apparently the food was phenomenal in Scotland! My husband kept texting me photos of the menus that had tons of vegetarian/ vegan options, which is not something I expected! I expected haggis and potatoes!
I love my garden so much, there is something so incredible about growing things – flowers, food, etc.
What a lovely compliment to receive from someone you so admire! Stan away 🙂
I agree about multitasking. I can be planning my grocery list while doing dishes, but I am totally focussed when working out.
I read God of Small Things when it first came out and I still remember two scenes from that book that left me gutted. She’s an amazing writer. I was lucky to attend one of her speaking engagements at a work Professional Day and she was an engaging, funny speaker.
I just finished Isola and what a great story that was!
Oh I’m glad you loved Isola! I thought it was so well done. And The God of Small Things – what a heartbreaker!! I’m jealous you got to see her speak!
I LOVE soap operas, and part of the reason I like them is the constant exposition– I can be going about my household tasks and half listen to the dramz in Salem (I’ve been watching Days of our Lives since I was in kindergarten)– I can watch just one show a week, even and stay caught up. But I get what you are saying about multitasking and fragmented viewing– this is definitely not for me (except for that one genre).
My mom always watched Days, and then she didn’t for a while, but started again and found out she really hadn’t missed anything! I’ve never seen a daytime soap but I love Downton Abbey and The Gilded Age, which are essentially soaps with fancy costuming.
OMG — I would be so excited if an author followed me and commented! This is so cool!
Big salads sound amazing, especially after traveling — and even better when those big salads come straight from the garden. 💜
I KNOW KARI I KNOWWWWW! I thought I was going to pass out, seriously!!!
All of these Julia Louis-Dreyfus gifs are making me want to ask you if you have watched The New Adventures of Old Christine or Veep which are both so good. She is definitely one of my fave actresses. Happy for you to have everybody home and requesting salad for dinner #goals. I love to watch reality tv while working out on a treadmill, in fact I save my favorite shows to motivate me to get on the treadmill, and I can’t believe that not toooooo long ago, watching something on your phone was not an option when using gym equipment.
I haven’t watched either of those shows! I feel a bit overwhelmed when there are a lot of available seasons – but maybe I’ll look into it. Right now I’m obsessed with The Gilded Age. Saving your favourite shows for the treadmill is a GREAT hack!
That follow and comment from Kathleen Heiny! I’m dying!!! SO cool, Nicole!!
And good question from Colleen above. I haven’t watched the New Adventures, but Veep is comedic gold. (And you don’t have to see Seinfeld’s genocidal mug, so that’s an additional plus.)
I’m so, so glad you liked TGOST. For a long time, it was my litmus test for a good person (like I continued to date A because he was moved by the novel). I’m no longer that judgy or juvenile, but I still think it’s an absolute tour de force.
Hahahaha your litmus test! I did really love it and I found it was an absolutely compelling and heartbreaking story.
Lol, I just based my most recent blog posts off of something in your last post, and this one has given me another idea, I’m so derivative.
I read The God of Small Things when it came out and I got to take copies out of the box and put them on the shelf. It was stunning, and heartbreaking.
EEEEEE when our favourite authors like something we wrote.
The back yard desperately needs weeding, but it’s SO HOT right now I have to wait until the sun goes down.
Eve and I saw Six., the musical about Henry VIII’s wives, and I’ve been listening to it while driving and remembering that I wanted to watch The Other Boleyn Girl.
I first heard of the “two-screen experience” while watching The Walking Dead, and I was a no thank-you very much, I have enough trouble with one. I spend time often trying to repair my attention span.
That’s so exciting about the Katherine Heiny FOLLOW and MESSAGE. Sometimes an author will comment on an IG post if I tag them, but they’ve never FOLLOWED AND SENT ME A PRIVATE MESSAGE. That’s next level!
I am super bad at multitasking. I’m really trying to break myself of it but it is RARE for me to watch a TV show without doing something else. I am part of the problem!
I knowwwwwwwwwwww I almost passed out!!!
Wow, that is a heap of produce from your garden, and I can imagine it does take a fair amount of time to achieve all that goodness.
Your comment regarding female and male bodies made me think of my friend who works at our medical regulator dealing with medical malpractice investigations and spends a lot of her time looking at dick pics. Put aside the fact that supposedly clever people are doing the very stupid thing of sending dick pics to patients or staff, I just don’t understand how men think sending a dick pic would attract someone. I’m happy to admire a well-chiselled torso, but the gear is just frankly strange. My friend and I discussed it, and we agreed that most of those dick pics circulating are pulled from some online trove of big dick pics.
That is so exciting that you got a DM from Kathleen Heiny, although I wouldn’t be surprised if a few years down the track you have someone gushing over getting a DM from you. G and I just finished watching Untamed and couldn’t resist telling our friends that Eric Bana lives just up the street and we have had a short convo with him outside his house. Of course, we kept it cool and did not ask for an autograph, just did the usual neighbourly pleasantries. He always gives Riley a pat when he is at the dog park (Riley has to go to every owner and say hello)
Wow, that is a wild job for your friend. I am 100% with you – a well-chiseled torso, yes. A dick pic? NO. No one wants to see that! Literally no woman ever is like “that guy seems nice but I wish he’d send me a photo of his junk.”
Oh, you are SO kind – thank you so much for saying that!
ERIC BANA!!! I just watched The Other Boleyn Girl and thought he was very swoony!
That DM IS SO EXCITING NICOLE! I’m so happy for you <3
Your garden continues to astound and amaze me. What a bounty of produce, but I know it doesn't just spontaneously appear. You put a lot of time and effort into maintaining and cultivating it. So all the gold stars and I know you're enjoying the "fruits of your labour."
I sure am enjoying them and also, whoa, there is SO much to do! But in a happy way.
We took our kids to see Joseph many years ago and LOVED it! Such a great musical. But OMG, a DM from Heiny is so amazing!!!! I think it’s so cool when someone ‘famous’ DM’s a fan. SO COOL!
Good grief, YES! Bring back single tasking! I remember being so confused/disturbed? when shows like Watch What Happens Live began the whole ‘voting on your phone’ while watching the show. I’m comfy in bed and you want me to go to the kitchen, unplug my phone, and try to log onto a website while I’m just trying to enjoy some late night TV? No, just NO!
Yes I totally agree! And Joseph was great – I wasn’t expecting the different genres of music, it was so fun.
Bring back Single Tasking – yes! Fun that the author followed you – I must read her novels – how haven’t I?? I wish I could drop by and purchase some tomatoes and zucchini, they look so good and I’m in awe of the growing season there. Have you seen Bridgerton? A very spicy British period drama to be sure. 😉
Also – I know about Big Salad, but what is the Big Fun Salad?
It’s pretty much the same thing – greens with goat cheese, dried blueberries, apple, candied pecan, and roasted chickpeas!
WHY HAVEN’T YOU?? Oh I think you would love them, Anna!
I have not seen Bridgerton, right now I’m watching The Gilded Age but maybe that’s next!
I definitely crave normal homemade simple food after trip, same with the family. You have abundant produce, how wonderful!
I haven’t tried gardening but I can imagine the state of flow you get to when you are in motion, focused on something repetitive. This is why I love running, to get to the flow while in movement.
What’s your favorite dressing recipe? please share.
I love to make a balsamic dressing – let’s say it’s 1/2 cup olive oil, 1/4 to 1/3 cup balsamic, plus a squeeze each of honey and dijon. So tasty and so easy!
Awww, they are home and they are ready for a Big Fun Salad! I love that.
Nicole, you had me howling several times in this post. I mean, not like a werewolf, but laughing, you know. You are so darn funny.
I recall watching Lady Chatterly’s lover on HBO when I was about fourteen and that is pretty much all the sex education I ever received. Boy, what a disappointment life has been! HA. Kidding. I don’t remember the storyline, but I remember there was quite a few bits and pieces shown on screen.
Congratulations on the author reaching out to you—that is fantastic, and she’s correct, you are already hilarious!
Those tomatoes::: SWOON!
I mean, what other sex education do you need?
Thanks, my friend, but now I AM picturing you howling like a werewolf! xoxo
Katherine Heiney! what a genuine thrill. She is the best, I think of her as my successor to Laurie Colwin, she gives me the same feelings. How cool!
She is just so brilliant, I laugh so much while reading her books – she is pure joy to me. Thanks so much!
That is so cool about Katherine Heiny following AND messaging you!! You are now a celebrity. I also love how sweet you are about not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings with a bad review.
Awww thanks so much Pat!
OMG you got followed by Katherine Heiny! How cool! I seem to recall that this has happened to you before(?) You are the bomb, girl!
Also, you may have answered my question on your prior post about your husband and son’s hiking trip. If they ate out every day, I am assuming they did NOT wild camp (?)
I have read (and enjoyed) Philippa Gregory’s books about the Boleyn girls but did not know there was a movie about it!
And lastly, multitasking is usually just doing more than one thing in a half-assed manner. However, I did used to listen to podcasts/audiobooks while gardening, but probably to the detriment of the audiobook in most cases.
They did not wild camp, nor – and you’ll be interested in this – were they bothered by midges!
I so agree with you re: multitasking. It is just doing things in a shitty way!
I read Standard Deviation back in 2017 and loved it. It’s thrilling to be followed by a published author!
Isn’t it such a good book? I love all of them – Early Morning Riser might be my very favourite though.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of this author, I’m going to have to check her out.
I once had an author comment on my book review on my blog, and I was SO EXCITED! I’m still excited about it to tell you the truth. The author was Molly Gloss, and the book was The Hearts of Horses.
I multitask a lot, mostly with listening to an audiobook, or being on my iPad while watching TV. What this means is that I sometimes have no idea what is going on in the show or in my book, and it’s completely stupid and half assed.
I can’t even concentrate on reading if there is music playing! I can usually if my husband is watching sports, generally I’m able to tune that out. But I get lost if there is more than one thing going on!
I love all of Heiny’s books, I think you should check her out!
Nicole, how cool are you, rubbing elbows with Katherine Heiny! I’m very happy for you! I’ll have to check out her books!
And look at your garden harvest! WOW!!!!
Thanks so much Michelle!
I just read my first Katherine Heiny book, and loved it! I’m so glad that she DM’d you – you have arrived! 🙂
Also holy cats, Nicole. SO MANY TOMATOES. Do you make your own sauce? Or “just” roast and freeze them?
Oh which one did you read, Anne? I’m so glad you loved it!
I will eventually use the roasted tomatoes for sauce and for soup!
Oh dang, hiking the West Highland Way. What a dream. Why didn’t you go? I can imagine they were looking forward to your home cooking though. I am always looking forward to meals at home after travel!
That is so cool that Katherine Heiny follows AND messaged you. OMG. You must have passed out… but hey, you’re part of the cool kids now 🙂
San, I didn’t go because it was a special father/ son trip for them. Last year my husband took my older son up north, and this year was my younger son’s turn to choose.