It is not yet officially summer, and yet it is summer!
I have this very strange scarcity mindset when it comes to beautiful summer days, the cause of which I can pinpoint exactly: living 95% of my life in Calgary. Listen, when a beautiful day presents itself in Calgary, you had better drop everything and enjoy every second of that beautiful day, because you don’t know when the next one will happen. There is every likelihood that the temperatures will drop, or the wind will pick up, or there will be a violent thunderstorm that will flatten every single plant in your garden and possibly tear the shingles off your roof.
I need to get over this mindset because here, when it’s summer, it’s summer. And I love it, I am spending every moment that I can outside even while reminding myself that there is always tomorrow.
There isn’t always tomorrow for everyone, sadly. We had a perennial die and we replaced it with a clump of happy looking pink annuals, and then realized WHY that perennial died, which had nothing to do with the neighbour’s dog surreptitiously urinating on it. Or, that wasn’t the only reason. The main reason is that the small corner where the plant resided is just out of reach of our irrigation system, and so the poor thing just died of a lack of water. To ensure our little clump of flowers will not follow the same path of demise, we have been keeping my little watering can filled and close by for ease of use.
I got back from my walk the other day and went to give those happy little flowers a drink. I paused, upon seeing what I initially thought was a large piece of bark floating in the watering can. On closer inspection, this turned out to be a drowned bird.
I set down the watering can and backed away, repeating my husband’s name in a stunned manner and with increasing urgency, followed by there’s a, there’s a, there’s a over and over. I would like to be a Strong Invincible Woman in the face of a bird corpse, but alas. The fate of that little bird’s physical being was decided by my husband, and hopefully one of the many coyotes zipping around here had a little snack. Poor birdie. I hope its little soul is flying around happily, maybe inhabiting the body of a hawk or eagle, just for a different experience.
I was talking to my friend Sandi (HI SANDI) recently about insects, and whether or not they possess souls. We both agreed: why not? Why not, indeed? Everyone can agree that animals have souls: anyone who has ever had a pet in their life, or even watched a nature show on television, can see this. If we believe that, why can’t we believe that insects also have souls? Rather, I should say, ALL insects, because some, like butterflies are often considered vehicles for the soul. They are widely viewed as beautiful symbols of spirits flitting around in nature. It follows, then, if butterflies have souls, why wouldn’t all insects?
Opinions about insect souls can really say a lot about a person’s view of the world. It’s like the insect version of Denis Leary’s old bit about wanting to save the animals, but only the cute animals. One might think, okay, butterflies have souls, not spiders or earthworms, but why? Where do we arbitrarily draw the line? It makes more sense if everything does, perhaps spiders especially – have we not all read Charlotte’s Web? Those heroic arachnids spin webs to save us all from pests, and Wilbur from being eaten. Spiders have a job to do, people! Let’s give them some love!
I think every living thing, including plants and trees, including earthworms, yes, even including mosquitoes, have a soul. Possibly the soul of a person who lived a life of great cruelty might be destined to be housed in the body of a mosquito for centuries, who can say? None of us are The Divine, least of all me, and so I’m not here to judge. Maybe slapping that mosquito that lands on our bodies will release the soul to…another mosquito? The universe is full of mysteries.
Well. What started as a post about what I love to do to nourish my soul – working in the garden and enjoying the glory of nature – took quite a turn.
When I started to write down the things I do to nourish my soul, I was heartened to see that every single thing overlapped with the things I do to nourish my body and my brain: gardening, walking, yoga, playing music, reading. The number one thing that feeds my soul, and always has, is being outside.
The garden, of course, brings me so much joy; seeing perennial plants and tree leaves emerge in spring, the planting and then harvesting of vegetables and berries, the beauty of the flowers. Walking, whether it’s through nature-rich paths or on city sidewalks, and yoga are moving meditations for me – and regular, seated meditation is also a daily practice for me that is nourishing to my whole self. The beauty of music, the beauty of a book, the beauty of poetry – all of it is good for my soul. And as a bonus, at this time of year I can relax on my glider chair on the deck with a book and a beverage, and it feels so restorative.
While I was walking last week, a bald eagle soared right over Rex and I, and I just stood there watching him. Maybe one day my Watering Can Bird will inhabit such a glorious creature, or maybe a butterfly. Wherever it ends up, I hope it’s happy.
Weekly Reading
I had a DNF this week; it was More or Less Maddy, by Lisa Genova. I have to accept that I have not enjoyed anything she’s written besides Still Alice. I have to accept that this author is not for me. I made it through the first chapter, and then skipped around to see if there was any sign it would get better. It did not appear to. After all the Coco Mellors recently, I just could NOT deal with another book about drug use, mental health, and suicidal ideation. Moving on to what I did finish:
Heartwood. I enjoyed this very propulsive read about a woman who, after the stress of being a nurse in the pandemic, decides to hike the Appalachian Trail. She goes missing somewhere in Maine, and the search begins. It didn’t go at all like I expected it to, and I liked that! It was a great ending, and the story told from different points of view made for a compelling read. I learned that the idea of the book came from a true incident that ended sadly, which made the book even more interesting to me. Thanks to Lisa (HI LISA) for the recommendation!
Lives of Girls and Women. Yes, I had four library books sitting on my coffee table, but I needed – NEEDED – to reread the book that made me a Munro fan, 31 years ago. The heroine of this coming of age story – Del Jordan – is so resonant and relatable to me and always has been, even though I did not come of age in 1940s rural Ontario. My husband looked at the book and said how many times have you read that? I don’t know, but enough for the book to start falling apart.
The Simple Art of Killing a Woman. This book was intense. Intense and upsetting but very compelling, the story follows a young lawyer who accepts an assignment in an Amazonian border town, to escape her aggressive and potentially violent boyfriend. While there she learns about the epidemic of femicide, which is rampant in Brazil but particularly in this area. Some of it reads like a fever dream, the parts where the lawyer partakes in ritual ayahuasca use. It was a well done but very upsetting book.
Every morning I am up before the sun, and every morning I think of the Mary Oliver poem that wonders why people ask to see God’s identity papers, when seeing the sky break into morning is enough. At this time of year, the mountains across the lake are glowing pink as I roll out my yoga mat, and it is such food for the soul.
Speaking of poetry, look what I got!
My dear friend Maya (HI MAYA) has not one, not two, but THREE poems published in this very moving anthology. I highly recommend it. It is only available on Amazon at the moment, but when the choice comes to shop more ethically OR support my friend, I am going to choose the latter every time.
I am going on a long-in-distance, short-in-length road trip this week, so I will catch up with you on the flip side! I would love it if you told me what you’re doing to fill your cup and nourish your souls. xo
Long walks! “Forest-bathing” in Nature nourishes my soul so, and yet during the school term, I sometimes don’t have time (don’t make time) to walk in the woods near our home. I really luxuriate in these summer days when I can just take off in my sneakers. It reminds me of the Zen quote about meditation–“If you don’t have time to meditate for an hour every day, you should meditate for two hours.” I should probably make time for walking–especially during days when I find myself too busy.
I always delight in little Nicole pictures… that haircut looks so cute on you! And is Rex trying to hide in the greenery?
Thanks for the shout-out, Nicole… you’re truly a great friend and the kind of woman who always lifts up other women. Heart-eyes emoji and all the love and XOs.
Have a wonderful trip! Can’t wait to hear the stories!
I love that Zen quote and I think of it often when I find myself in a flap! I never ever regret going for a walk, no matter what the weather.
I love love love the poetry collection, and not just yours! I mean, I love yours the most but all of the poems I have read so far are absolutely moving. One of them, Maya, I GASPED out loud.
Forest bathing! I like the idea, our backyard is a forest, which means that sipping a glass of wine whilst outside on the deck looking into it is HEALTHY!
I’ve added that Alice Munro novel to my list. Your enthusiasm for it is contagious. Enjoy your travels.
Oooh I hope you enjoy it, Ally! It’s such a meaningful book for me.
Sipping on a glass of wine while looking at nature is the BEST!
Oh gosh, I love the flashback photos of little Nicole! So adorable!
I am really proud of you for DNF’ing that book! I know you don’t DNF much so bravo to you for setting it aside when it wasn’t working. I DNF’d two books and sampled a 3rd, all in close succession. I was beginning to feel that my brain was broken. But now I am reading “The Sequel” which is the sequel to the book, “The Plot.” I’m enjoying it but not loving it. But I like it enough to want to keep reading to figure out what happens. But overall, my reading has felt solidly meh so far this month.
I am glad you live in a region with beautiful summer days! Minneapolis is so similar to Calgary. When it’s nice outside, the entire city is outside making the most of it! We are finally getting some real summer weather this week. It’s not technically summer yet, but we expect summer-like weather to arrive around June 1 and that has NOT been the case. Bring on the heat and sunshine!!
Lisa, you really get me! I have such a hard time DNFing, even though finishing a book I am not enjoying is a real waste of time. And that one was a nope nope nope for me.
It’s funny to me that The Plot had a sequel – it seemed to tie up neatly at the end! I’ll wait for your review but I probably won’t read it.
Your opening photograph . . . how refreshing does that look?? I understand the need to enjoy summer while you can. Every nice day we get is a gift, especially if you live in Northeast Ohio.
I’m glad you included some childhood outdoor photos. My Mom always said it was impossible to get me out of the sandbox when I was a toddler. I loved being outdoors. Then, during my teen years, I preferred lying in my bed, reading a book all summer (unless I was sunbathing and listening to my cassette tapes). I rediscovered nature in middle age and have been enjoying it ever since.
I absolutely love summer, Bijoux! I’ve always loved being outside and although I spend 90 minutes or so outside at a minimum no matter what the season/ weather, it’s just so nice to be out when the air is soft and warm.
I envy you your view of mountains. I think I’m a mountain girl at heart and Ontario has none. (Blue Mountain is NOT a mountain!). Things that nourish my soul: walking amongst trees, reading, poetry (just picked up one by Amanda Gorman from the library), a good heart-to-heart conversation with a friend, listening to authors. Happy road-tripping.
Oh you would love it here, Pearl, with the mountain views. The Rockies are also very special and beautiful.
I will look up that poet!
Well, the things I make time for every day are reading (if just the newspaper) and walking, though the walking is also for my body.
What an interesting conversation about insect souls that must have been.
It’s true you don’t look that into petting the sheep.
Enjoy your trip!
Steph, I wasn’t sure whether to include walking as a body nourishment or a soul nourishment, because it’s both. I always feel great after a walk. Even when the weather is poor I’m always glad I went.
Summer is life! It stayed cold and rainy here for the longest time, and now it is gorgeous and I am here for it. I am also here for margaritas with a view.
There are certain areas where I think it’s OK to be sexist. I let Hubs know very early on in our dating lives that he is in charge of disposing of any bodies that come our way. He doesn’t seem to mind handling the occasional bird, chipmunk, and mouse that have come our way, and speaking from my experience in my single gal house owning days, I very much do.
Yay for DNF’ing! That way you make space in your life for the good books.
Well you will be having those margaritas with that view before you know it!
Anything dead I get someone else to handle, including my 82yo MIL, who will just deal with corpses without blinking an eye. She says it’s because of a lifetime on the farm. I will have to tell you an insane story about a dead fawn that happened – THANK GOD – many years before I lived here.
OMG the dead things! I cannot! We have had a few, ahem, pool related casualties and I direct those to my husband to handle. He is also in charge of any mouse corpses. I am not doing that.
Those photos of Tiny Nicole — I love them so much. Especially the sheep one. No, especially the grinning outdoors Nicole. They are both fantastic.
I love Rex in the forest. Nothing like a beautiful creature enjoying nature so fully!
We are walking similar book paths, although I am walking my path much more slowly thank you: I am listening to Heartwood right now!
My younger son is in charge of the “traplines” in the shed, we had a real mouse problem there. I refuse to go in there at any time, since the last time I did a mouse climbed up a shelf MERE INCHES FROM MY FACE. I am surprised I didn’t drop dead from shock right there.
Oh, friend, I feel you on the dead bird. We had two last month—one in the backyard and one on the front walk. We’re not sure how it happened, but we think it might’ve been a hawk. Like you, I felt strangely responsible and really sad. I had drawn the birds here with food for them, and then they ended up dead. I was heartbroken for a long time.
But then I thought about how many birds visit our yard each day, and how happy they seem. Ratio-wise, I think we’re doing okay with our bird friends.
I’m with you on all your thoughts about souls, reincarnation—all of it. I truly believe our birds are happy wherever they ended up. Maybe they’ll return as lovely flowers yet to bloom in our gardens.
The picture of you on your tricycle is so precious. Look how happy you were in the sunshine! You’re fulfilling inner child Nicole’s hopes and dreams just by living your life today. I love this so much. 💜🌺🦋
Right? It’s sad about the birdies but I’m sure they are coming back in another form. Speaking of which – I got my first zinnia bloom on the weekend! I never have my phone with me when I’m gardening but I’ll have to go out and take a photo for you.
I can’t wait to see!
I’m guessing that your life in Calgary made you even more grateful for the beautiful summer days of your new location. I’ve had so many flowers flattened by wind and thunderstorms over the years that I don’t even bother anymore! As for insects having souls….I really don’t like insects. I hope there is no danger of me coming back as an insect. Finding the bird in your watering can had to be dreadful. I love the little Nicole pictures! This week I’ve been feeding my soul by going outside in the morning and watching the sunrise. It’s my favorite time of day.
Michelle, ME TOO. I love seeing the sunrise.
I feel extremely confident that there is no way you’re coming back as an insect! I am sure of it!
One year I had the most beautiful climbing roses, and it was the beginning of July, they were all just blooming…and an enormous hailstorm just shredded them all. My hostas were just a pile of shredded leaves. It was so demoralizing!
Poor Birdie! Oh dear – we may separate on being books twins because I love Lisa Genova – but that’s okay! Heartwood is going on my TBR though. Your view is amazing! One thing I’ve been doing is going to Sara Villamil’s yoga workshops. Long of student of hers, she has been offering short ‘retreats’ which have nourished my soul – the one on Saturday was a yoga and writing one, something I’m sure you would have enjoyed. Author Mikka Jacobson helped facilitate. It was so lovely! Have a great trip. ☺️
That’s okay, Anna, we are still mostly book twins! We have to diverge sometimes!
That workshop sounds wonderful. I know you’ve been practicing with Sara for a long time now!
I can’t do much forest bathing here, but we do have a lot of trees here, in the City, for which I am so grateful (for the shade and more). And I love that notice in amongst the trees asking you to stop and think about where you are. What a wonderful idea. I mean, how neat is that?
And dang, that’s some view to look out on while drinking your lemonade. Beautiful!
“Lemonade” – it’s really a margarita!
That sign is new this year – it wasn’t there six months ago. I really love it!
I used to ponder the souls of insects when I was very young – your photos as a girl brought it all back to me. I loved moths, ladybugs, worms, but had a particular interest in grasshoppers, big dusty brown ones that I would pick up and keep for a while and then let go. I swear they loved it when I rubbed their bellies! I sometimes think if I had grown up in a different time/family, I would have become an entomologist. Have a great trip!
That’s so cool, I love knowing this about you!!
Oh Nicole! I am in BC right now (Campbell River)!! – saw 4 bald eagles today!!! And a momma with two tiny baby deer). It is so beautiful and lush, and to see the ocean every day is amazing.
I have the book Now and then Maddie on hold- my 2 sisters read about it and said it reminded them of our eldest sister (who passed away 18 months ago) and had bipolar disorder. I’m sure it will be upsetting but I’m sure I’ll read it. Enjoy your travels!
It truly is Beautiful BC! Campbell River is wonderful – we were there the year we got married!
Let me know what you think of the book! I only made it through the first chapter.
Have a lovely time away! I just put Heartwood on my TBR, although my TBR is very long. To feed my soul I go to church, we have small group, prayer and bible reading, also being in nature, reading. I also pulled out my son’s keyboard this week because they need another keys player for church. I haven’t played in 20 years so his is stretching me but it does seem to be coming back. There is no music, though, just chord charts, so I have to refresh myself on all the chords, and they usually just turn up to practice on a Thursday and pick the songs then. So that is triply challenging because I always played from sheet music.
Melissa, my TBR is insane, so I understand! Isn’t it cool how your fingers remember what to do on the keys? I find I can pick up an examination piece I haven’t really played for years and it comes back right away. But the chord charts! That’s tricky. I am a sheet music gal as well. I would find that VERY hard not to have sheet music!
Mountains 100%. The ocean is beautiful and cities are interesting, but I am a mountain girl, born and raised! I am so much happier when I can walk out my front door and into the woods.
I enjoy Lisa Genova’s books, although they are all a difficult subject matter. My friend Bunny is a stem cell biologist and she did a lot of work on Parkinsons and Huntingtons and boy those are rough. So I like reading about them even though it is hard. I think about Still Alice a lot. Maybe because she was running in her own neighborhood and did not know the way home and I can relate to that. What if I am running in a strange place and get lost? Woof. It is hard to comprehend. I also think I am about the same age as she was when she first started noticing signs. That is probably my biggest fear, losing my mind or body function early.
Oh I hear you, I fear that as well. I really liked Still Alice but the other books that I read…I feel like the writing style was just too instructional, and it didn’t work for me. She’s clearly a brilliant woman and very beloved, just not for me!
I love the mountains! Especially the Canadian Rockies.
“I think of the Mary Oliver poem that wonders why people ask to see God’s identity papers, when seeing the sky break into morning is enough” You are speaking my language!
Poor birdie. I too always hope that those whose lives have been cut short, that they get another opportunity for a quality time on this planet. This is the wish I give to my ill butterflies before I euthanize them. Sappy who? Sappy me.
Enjoy your long distance, short time trip. (Girl, I had to read that three times to get it!)
Suz, we are such kindred spirits! Also, there are some big butterflies here and I always think of you.
Awww, that makes me feel so special.
I forgot to mention that I adore those childhood pics of you and I LOL’d at you and the sheep!
I think i’ll get a dog just to experience what you experience during your walks Nicole, blissful after reading your post, exactly what I needed after a stressful morning.
Oooh how fun would that be, a dog!!
We have been enjoying summer too! Every morning, I sit on the deck outside my bedroom. It overlooks a lake in a valley. I write my morning pages and sometimes work on an essay there, while sipping coffee, and a bald eagle circles overhead, and the twin robins who were born in the nest outside my kitchen window flit around the yard. I swear they recognize me, those sweet, little souls.
Oh Laura, that sounds absolutely delightful!!! I bet they do recognize you!
It’s hard to enjoy summer in Florida because it is just SO hot and humid. Like, the humidity is 80-95% some days and that is just MISERABLE. In order to enjoy being outside, I usually am happiest in water, preferably a pool. That soothes my soul!
Did I once call my maintenance company to deal with some insects that had taken residence right inside my apartment? YUP. I don’t deal with stuff like that, nope!
Everyone is talking about Heartwood. I may need to add it to my TBR.
Heartwood was a 4 star for me. Which would probably make it either a 5 or 2 star for you, Stephany, I just don’t know! (I did finish Cate Kay and it was also a 4 star, I liked it but didn’t love it).
Lol, everyone who is not in Florida is like YAY SUMMER!!! And the Floridians are all like “I’m dying over here.”
Nicole, we had a dead squirrel situation yesterday. I kept the dog away and my husband handled removal and that is all I have to say about nature right now. Nature is metal, yo. OH! Also, we have a small ant infestation in OUR KITCHEN and I am finding it all too challenging. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, NATURE.
I have a scarcity mindset about summer, too. The last two mornings I have allowed Hannah to sniff eight trees in a row because it is PERFECT and SUNNY and WARM and I am wearing sandals and I will miss this in the dead of winter.
Aieee! Dead squirrel alert! I would also be on “dog alert” because Rex has helped himself to dead wildlife and it’s not a good thing, to make a massive understatement.
Isn’t the summer the best? It’s great to just stand in the warmth while dogs sniff.
Just realized I never commented on this wonderful post!!! And now you’re probably on your road trip (which I hope we’re going to hear all about).
These books all sound really good- well, Simple Art might be a little too intense for me. But the other two sound like books I would like, and- you got Maya’s anthology! I love the cover of that. I fully support your decision to buy from Amazon to support a friend!
Yes, I believe insects have souls. It’s funny that it’s easier to believe that of a butterfly than, say, a cockroach. But we can’t pick and choose.
I agree with Stephany’s comment that it’s not pleasant to be outside in Florida in the summer. But I still try to appreciate the outdoors- sometimes from the comfort of my air conditioned car as I’m driving. I’ll look at the beautiful sky and palm trees, and think how lucky I am to live here. Especially in the winter months, sigh. Anyway- enjoy your trip!
Florida summers do sound like they are a BIT MUCH, Jenny! All the humidity! I feel like you could handle the temperatures if it wasn’t so humid.
Strong agree – we can’t pick and choose! Cockroaches are beings too, they can’t help being creepy!
You have an absolutely glorious morning view, my friend, and I’d wish everybody did… because how could any day be a bad day with a few like that? 🙂
I also love being out in nature, if it’s not 100+F that is.
Thanks so much San! It is a gorgeous view!
I feel the same way about being outside, but for me it’s grabbing any day before the temp goes UP again, and I can’t be outside without feeling ill.
Eeek, you are in the midst of a heat wave! And the humidity! The humidity is nothing to speak of here, so it’s not a bother.