I have never run a marathon, and it is unlikely in the extreme that I ever will, but in spite of – or maybe because of – this, I was absolutely fascinated by a podcast interview of a Belgian woman who, at age 55, ran a marathon every day in 2024. Every day. And 2024, you may recall, was a leap year, meaning she ran 366 consecutive marathons.
I laughed as the host kept asking multiple questions that can be summed up in a single word: how? And this woman, in her stoic Belgian accent, said that yes, it was difficult. Yes, she had pains and aches and exhaustion, which she would take treatment and painkillers and naps. Yes, she ate a lot of pasta and protein pancakes. Yes, she ran in the rain for the majority of the winter and spring seasons. Then, she casually mentioned that her immune system was compromised from all the running, which led to contracting Covid in August. It took a long time to get over it, she said matter-of-factly, Because of all the running.
I mean, yes? I was completely stunned by this revelation and listened to the host ask multiple questions about that. Oh, I ran more slowly, she said. More like four hours and twenty, or twenty-five minutes. This bout with Covid brought her daily average run time from sub-four hours to 4:05, which made me wonder if she and I were even the same species.
Well, in a way I get it. I do. I am obsessed with keeping my own various streaks on DuoLingo and Peloton, and I am not trying to set a world record, here. I get the idea of pushing through just to accomplish something important. I do. Running a daily marathon while sick with and recovering from a respiratory illness isn’t something I personally would choose to do, but I’m not in her shoes, the shoes that she had to replace twice a month from wear. And yet I can’t help but think her poor body. I can’t help but think that her body was giving her signs that said maybe we should take a break?, signs which would be mostly obscured by her ultimate goal.
I wanted to talk about nourishing our bodies this week, through movement and through what we all think of when we think of the word nourishment, food. Food, glorious food! Interestingly enough, that same podcast several weeks prior discussed the role of nutrition in perimenopausal fatigue, the interviewee was adamant in her belief that women just do not eat enough to support their energy needs.
I found that fascinating. I also find it fascinating, and not in a happy way, that women are all universally scarred from the societal pressures and images of beauty that we are constantly exposed to, from the cradle to the grave. Who among us has not felt, if not downright self-loathing, then at least dissatisfaction with our bodies and appearances? I am sure there are some women out there who have always simply eaten whenever hungry, whatever food they felt like eating, and don’t think for another moment about it, but I have yet to meet one. I have yet to meet a woman who has not at some point assigned moral value to food items, and thought I’m being bad while eating one, or has referred to a treat as a guilty pleasure, as if eating a cupcake was a moral failing and a plate of nachos was on par with an actual sin.
I have yet to meet a woman who has not felt some kind of guilt or shame about her body, and if you are reading this and you think wait, I haven’t, I have always felt great about myself, then I am happy you’re here and happy to know you exist.
It just makes me sad. It makes me sad so many women view movement as some kind of punishment, and food as some kind of virtue signaling. Because we need nourishment! It reminds me of the scene in the book Bridget Jones’ Diary where she talks about calories to her gay best friend, who asks but how many calories do you need to survive? Bridget is completely taken aback, having dissociated actual physical needs from calorie counts.
We need to treat ourselves tenderly and with love, and withholding food and feeling shame or guilt while feeding ourselves is not that.
After many decades of doing complicated food math in my head, of feeling guilt and shame and embarrassment, of refusing and restricting and saying no thank you when I wanted to say yes please, and could you give me a piece with extra frosting, I am done. I’m done with all that, which is a simple statement to make and much more complicated to get there.
I love this rental house for my soul, this body of mine, and I want to give it all the tenderness and nourishment it needs. I want my food to check off at least two, and preferably three, out of the following three boxes: filling, energizing, and joyful. There are a lot of vegetables and fruit in my world, lots of green smoothies and lots of chickpeas and lentils, and there is also cake. There are sometimes chips and guacamole, and homemade crusty bread, still warm, dripping with butter or Boursin. Weekly, there is popcorn, and also wine or cocktails. And always, always there is coffee, because where would I be without that nectar of the gods?
I wouldn’t be in motion, that’s where I would be. How do we feel about movement practices these days? My personal practices have changed a lot over the years, to become more tender and nourishing. I no longer run, but instead walk a marathon distance over the course of a week, with my fuzzy companion. It’s slow, but I get to take in all the views. I haven’t practiced the Ashtanga second series for six years; instead I have focused on the primary series with some modifications.
I get excited every morning to choose a Peloton ride, which I do based almost entirely on the playlist – disco and 80s music are immediately bookmarked – and how much I like the teacher. I will say I am much less excited to do my strength training, and treat it less like a joyful movement and more like a dreary, tedious prescription. I guess the results – non-crumbling bones, more muscle mass, fewer menopause symptoms – are the joyful part of that movement practice.
Food and exercise are two of the most fraught topics around, and they certainly have been for me in the past, but these days I’m very peaceful about them. I want eating and moving to be joyful things, and they are for me; I think that joy is nourishing, and a nourished body helps with the mind and with the soul – the latter of which will be next week’s topic!
Weekly Reading
After last week’s amazing reads, this week was Just Fine.
Cleopatra and Frankenstein. You may remember I recently read Coco Mellors’ book Blue Sisters and disliked it, so you may wonder why I would pick up her debut. The reason is that I think she is a talented writer, and it was the subject – addiction – that put me off of that book, so I wanted to give her debut a try. And as a warning, there is a lot of drug and alcohol use in this book as well (Coco, are you okay?) but it is not as graphic, so it didn’t bother me in the same way. But. You know that feeling when you finish a book and think “wait, what did I just read?” That was this – in a good way, yes, but what did I just read? I will try to describe it: the story follows a very mismatched pair, Cleo and Frank, through their meeting on New Year’s Eve and subsequent marriage. They are not compatible, they have a twenty-year age gap, and they are surrounded by a cast of characters that can best, and most optimistically, described as offbeat. I found myself quite invested in the fate of all of these weird characters, and the book itself is a bit weird, but I liked it. There’s a lot about mental health and trauma, and about healing from both of those things.
Julie Chan Is Dead. This is a very buzzy book, but I’m mixed on it. On one hand, hooray for a Canadian woman author making such a splashy debut! On the other, I think I’m too old to read a satire about influencer culture. I have to admit that it took some doing for me to get past the premise of this book, which is that twin girls are separated at age four when their parents are killed in a car accident; one is left with her mean and stingy aunt, the other is raised by a very wealthy and possibly racist couple. It took me a while to get past that detail. Why wouldn’t the girls be adopted together? If there were family members to care for one, why did they separate them? Why did they have to go no-contact between the girls? This makes no sense. I had to really move past that detail just to get into the book, which is a propulsive read to be sure. It is satire, and as such it’s pretty over-the-top, but it is cleverly done and contains some very sharp observations about influencer culture. It was entertaining, even if I was not the correct demographic to really enjoy this.
Big Girl. I don’t know how this ended up on my holds; I must have seen it recommended somewhere. However, it was a slog for me. A very, very depressing slog of a book about an eight-year-old girl, growing into womanhood, navigating the world in a very large body. It was inadvertently on topic for this week, what with the themes of body issues, weight, self-loathing, and intergenerational body trauma.
I hope you all have a delicious week, filled with lots of joy and yummy things. xo
You embrace movement and balanced eating in a healthy way. I like that about you. I know that once I stopped thinking about calorie counts and step counts my mood lightened up, trusting myself to do the right thing for me in each moment. No more outsourcing my good health to trendy diets or overly hyped exercise programs.
Thanks so much, Ally! I like that about you too! We need to trust ourselves to make the right decisions for ourselves!
I admit I do obsess about my food choices, but when it comes right down to it, if I eat junk/fried food and sugary treats, I physically do not feel good. I firmly believe that’s why so many complain about menopausal symptoms, bloating, fatigue. Personally, I don’t think it’s because women are not eating enough. It’s what they are eating that’s causing the issues. I’ll get off my soapbox now . . .
Did the Zhang book talk a lot about Chinese culture? If so, I think I’ll give it a try. I did read Big Girl a while back and agree that it was depressing.
Well, I think that depends, Bijoux. This podcast – I should have clarified – is aimed at athletic women, and I do think that demographic has a tendency to over train and under fuel. I have absolutely been there and I do know that my energy suffered as a result. But I agree with you, which is why I like to use the word “nourishing,” we want food that really nourishes us in the best way possible. But with that said, there is room for things like wine and a dessert! I don’t personally eat fried food, and the sugary treats are for Sunday dinner’s dessert, so they are homemade.
The Zhang book did not talk about Chinese culture at all!
What a lovely post, Nicole. I’m so glad that you’ve found balance in exercise, and freedom from counting calories. I love your gentle approach toward yourself and others. You’re so right that our bodies are rental houses for the soul. I’m also done with diet culture, and it’s a huge relief that I don’t need to think about controlling every bite. I sometimes feel angry that I spent so much energy on dieting in the past. Dang, your ice cream looks amazing!
Michelle, ME TOO! I cannot believe all the time and energy I wasted. It makes me angry too, but I guess we can’t change the past.
That ice cream is actually banana based! It’s a fun treat I make every once in a while, we all love it. So it’s frozen bananas (approximately one per person) blended in a food processor with peanut butter (I don’t measure, sorry) and cashew milk, blended until it’s like a soft serve. Then I swirl chocolate sauce (1/4 cup cocoa, 3 tbsp each honey and cashew milk) in, along with some peanut butter chips. IT IS DIVINE!
This was a great post and a great topic. I’ve been thinking a lot about food since I’ve been on this diet. Even on a restrictive diet, I still have moments where I’m worried that I’m eating too much (which is preposterous- if anything it’s too little.) And, having a teenage daughter means the topic of food and body image comes up all the time, every single day. How did food ever get so complicated? I’m wondering if (maybe in a future post) you could go into more detail about HOW you arrived at such a healthy place. Did it just evolve naturally? Was there a defining moment, or book you read, or did you go to therapy? Anyway… thanks for reminding us that food is supposed to nourish us. And thanks for the peeks of Rex!
It’s so complicated indeed Jenny! I will…have to work myself up to write about it but I will try, Jenny! I will say just briefly that in 2020 I read a book called Your Body Your Best Friend, and unfortunately it may be out of print now, but it was honestly transformational for me.
Big hugs, Jenny. It’s not easy.
Well, diabetes changed my relationship to both food and exercise. I enjoy the longer walks I take now (I was already walking daily just not for as long). I don’t enjoy having to think about carbs at every meal, but it’s my new normal and I do not completely eschew treats. I mean, what would be the point of life? I often think of the WW story you told about the advice to make a birthday cake for yourself and NOT EAT IT. WTF? Needless to say, that’s not my philosophy.
Oh Steph, THAT BOOK. It still makes me mad to this day. THAT is your advice, bake a cake but don’t eat any??? WHAT????
*deep breath*
Diabetes certainly was a big change for you, but you seem to have really figured it out. I love that you can still work treats and happy things into your diet. And doing so while being a vegetarian! That’s not easy!
I love the word “tender” as that is exactly how I think I should treat my body. I wasn’t always so enlightened. It’s taken years to tune out the noise – eat this/not that, cardio/weights/stretch is the best. Over the years I’ve learned to listen to my body and adapt both my exercise and food based on what makes me feel good both physically (cycle and weights 4 times a week, protein and veg for dinner) and mentally (some wine on the weekend and a celebratory treat when the event and or mood strike). As Oscar Wilde once said, “everything in moderation, including moderation 🙂
I love that quote! You sound so enlightened indeed – very in tune with your body and your needs! This is aspirational, Jacquie!
A marathon every day for a year? HELL TO THE NO. That is so unhealthy! I like to be of a “to each their own” mindset but that is a bridge too far for me.
Gah. I’ll be honest and say that my relationship with my body is probably at an all-time low right now sadly, at least at low for adulthood. Entering my 40s and being on prednisone (which causes weight gain) has been a terrible combination. I like being a certain size and I am not that size right now and it is very hard for me to feel good/confident. I’m trying to get to a better place but dang it is HARD. I aspire to reach the state of acceptable that you have but I know that took work on your part as well!
I have not read any of your books from last week. The influencer one in particular is a HARD PASS for me. I can’t stand influencer culture! And I cannot imagine separating 4-year old twins. WHY. That is Will’s age and I can’t imagine separating him from Paul. He will comment about missing Paul after 2 hours apart – I can’t imagine the bond twins would have! (although admittedly I get a little pissy when he talks about missing Paul because of how much they mess with each other/fight/wrestle/etc when they are together!!!).
Lisa, it definitely took a lot of work and it did not happen overnight. It was a bit of a blow to me to have clothes that have fit me perfectly for 10-15 years just…not. Well, it was an excuse to buy new clothes. (but I don’t want to have to do this every year!) I found I had to grieve my “old body” and then just move on.
Prednisone, yikes, I know you needed to be on it but it sounds like there were so many side effects (the sleep!!!).
I wouldn’t recommend the influencer book. It was clever, but I didn’t enjoy it much.
I love the prescription for JOY in food and movement. That’s a wonderful benchmark, Nicole. I feel incredibly lucky in that I feel like I have a pretty good relationship with food. I rarely ever feel guilty for eating something, I am always up for pasta or nachos. What I wish I had was a better better relationship with my body. It’s doing a great job, it’s healthy, it’s also fat, and I wish I could be okay with the latter bit. We all have our challenges, right?
(Have you read Katherine Center’s The Love Haters? It has a really great “love your body” theme that I enjoyed immensely. I adore Center’s books, and this is one of my favorites.)
That photo of you doing that incredible backbend bridge maneuver is so cool! And it is also so cool that you have evolved your movement choices to things that feel good and joyful NOW.
Suzanne, I just put that book on hold! I will report back! Thanks for the recommendation. I feel like I’ve read something else by that author, but what was it? Hmm.
Yes we do all have our challenges, but I know you and I know you’re beautiful in every way.
I think maybe I heard about Center from you? Did you read The Bodyguard? It was somewhere around when Nora Goes Off Script came out — I swear I learned about both those books from you (and adored them both).
Yes! The Bodyguard! That was a great book. Lol, I heard about Center from you who heard it from me.
“I am sure there are some women out there who have always simply eaten whenever hungry, whatever food they felt like eating, and don’t think for another moment about it, but I have yet to meet one. I have yet to meet a woman who has not at some point assigned moral value to food items, and thought I’m being bad while eating one, or has referred to a treat as a guilty pleasure, as if eating a cupcake was a moral failing and a plate of nachos was on par with an actual sin.”
I would’ve quoted the entire post back at you — this just hits. I feel it in my bones. I’ve been this girl for as long as I can remember. My grandmother raised my mom this way, and my mom, bless her, is still this way at 78 because her mother put her on a diet in third grade.
I have so many thoughts about all of this. I wish we could sit down and talk it through — it feels bigger than a comment section. But please know that your blog has touched something deep in me. It’s helping me face this part of myself and begin to let it go.
Kari, although I didn’t like the book Big Girl, that was essentially the gist of it: a heavy little girl is taken to WW with her mother, who was also shamed for her body by her own mother, who was in turn shamed for her body by her mother…etcetera. I think the scars that happen when we are young just never go away. The assignation of moral value to food is one that is very upsetting to me. And there is so much shame ingrained in us from birth, essentially, it is a travesty.
Want to come visit? We could talk all the live-long day!
Yes to all of this. As you know, I’ve been on my own journey (no more scale!) and while I suspect there will always be remnants of my old way of eating and obsessing, I feel 100% confident that it will never consume my life the way it did. The freedom to eat healthfully AND when my body tells me I want/need it with plenty of treats (did someone say cheesecake) is just such a joy. No guilt. Consequences, sometimes (dairy doesn’t agree with me overly well; sometimes it’s worth the consequence, sometimes it’s not, but I have the autonomy to make that decision, not the scale or the mirror).
Running every day like that sounds horrible. Physically and mentally!
That backbend is just next level. Wowzers, friend.
I’m so proud of you, my friend! You have made so much progress on your journey! And you’re right, sometimes there are consequences and sometimes those consequences are worth it! Sometimes not though.
But yeah, imagine a marathon EVERY DAY???
I’m more careful now in food choices, mostly because I want to ensure I get enough protein and calcium in my diet (yes, those bones and muscles), but I enjoy food so much and do not deprive myself of anything (esp. cake and popcorn and chocolate and cheese and nuts, so many nuts!). There are some physical activities I enjoy (tennis and pickleball) and some I hate (gym!) but I know weights are necessary now. I try pretty much to balance nutrition with enjoyment but I don’t count anything (not calories, not macros, not grams) because that is much too tedious and I’m not into doing tedious things if I don’t have to. And I love walking but detest running. Every day for a year? Yikes.
Pearl, you said it – so important to get that protein and calcium! And also important to have lovely treats too. I am the same, I haaaaate weights but I know they are necessary, and so I do them.
I used to love running! But then I got Rex and I was walking so much…I couldn’t dream of adding another thing! So I fell out of love with it, I guess.
It seems like food is always a struggle with women. I have battled major orthopedic issues since I was 14 and at 57 it’s getting much worse. So, I don’t move as much as I want to which means I have to worry about what I put in my mouth. It’s hard because not being able to move much makes me depressed which makes me want to eat..lol. Not funny, but funny! I do what I can without hurting myself and just try to live my life with what I’ve been handed. It’s all good!
I love your attitude! I love the idea of not hurting ourselves, and living our lives as well as we can. xo
I love that joy and nourishment are the principles guiding your relationship with food and movement, Nicole… It sounds ideal.
I had a bout of anorexia in my late teens–I was starving myself because there was famine in Somalia and we’d just gotten CNN in India and I couldn’t get the images out of my head and could not bring myself to eat. I’d always been a picky eater, so it took a while for family to figure it out. Finally, it was an aunt who’d been a fan of Karen Carpenter who diagnosed me and got me help. Anorexia was fairly unknown in India back then.
Oh, I just want to go back in time and hug teenage Maya. Well, I also want to hug adult Maya. I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU ALL THE TIME IS THAT SO WRONG.
Seriously, I am so sorry you went through that. Eating disorders are just terrible. xo
I’m had flashbacks to David Goggins’s book while reading about the everyday marathon lady. I mean, if your body *can* do extraordinary things then I guess you’re driven to do extraordinary things. I am not a member of this club. I just like working out and eating yummy food at a level that makes me feel good and gives me energy.
Here is to the piece with the extra frosting!
Have I read that book? I don’t think I have. Please hold.
I’m back! I have not read it. I don’t think I will, honestly!
All of this Nicole! I’ve mentioned before this is still such a point of contention for me, but I love how you put it all into words. I wish we could all come to this balanced point of you, I’m working on it that’s for sure!
Thanks so much, Anna! It’s a big point of contention for all of us, I think – we just need to keep working on it!
Such a beautiful post Nicole, well… 99% of your posts, I love reading it slowly as I can appreciate how you write. This is so true, it’s comforting to know ALL women have those thoughts about our body and how we nourish ourselves. Fortunately as we get older, we appreciate our body more and less about its appearance, but more about its functionality, right? How amazing is that we grew humans and feed them until they are big enough to walk by themselves.
Yet, I also sometimes wonder the fine line between pushing mental barriers through physical activities (like endurance running) and be find to oneself. A bit of stress is good as it makes us stronger and resilient, but too much is just too much. Each one of us should/would know where is that line, and needs to choose not to cross it.
Looking forward to your next post on nourishing through food.