About eighteen months ago, I read a book about Jean Nidetch, the founder of Weight Watchers, and it remains to this day one of the most depressing literary experiences in my life. I was still processing the book weeks later, particularly the part where Jean advises that on one’s birthday, every single birthday for the rest of one’s life, one should bake a cake, cut the cake, serve the cake, but for god’s sake, do not eat the cake.
I’m depressed all over again just thinking about it.
Listen, you all know me. I’m all about healthy choices and nourishing one’s body, I’m all about taking care of these rental houses for our souls, and yet. The thought of not eating cake, which is to me one of life’s greatest pleasures, is so incredibly sad that I can’t bear it. I can’t bear the thought of someone hating themselves so much that they would deprive themselves of a treat even once a year, on an occasion as momentous as one’s birthday.
And you might immediately say, No, Nicole, it’s not because she hates herself! It’s because she loves herself! She wants to be the best version of herself! and maybe that’s true. Maybe. But the pursuit of thinness at all costs – particularly the cost of an annual slice of birthday cake – is genuinely soul-destroying. It feels very much like self-loathing.
I think the thing I love about cake, other than its deliciousness, is that it is very much a Sharing Dessert. I suppose one could make a single-serving mug cake, but for me part of the joy of having cake is the passing around of slices, the communal enjoyment, the sharing of the moment.
A tradition in my little family is to have a big Sunday dinner, the kind that takes several hours to make and that always includes dessert. I decided in honour of my big birthday, and also because I love cake, that I would bake and/ or consume cake every weekend in April. Not only did I meet this low-stakes goal, I exceeded it! Here’s how it went.
The first week’s cake was a golden one, layered with salted milk chocolate frosting.
For the second week, I took a page out of my friend Sammi’s book (HI SAMMI) and baked a lemon angel food cake, topped with lemon drizzle. Sammi’s trick was to use an angel food mix and sub out some of the water for lemon juice and zest, and it worked like a charm.
The third cake was a mid-week one, and it was courtesy of Sammi herself! She hosted a birthday lunch for me, and she made a glorious flourless fudge cake with chocolate-covered strawberries, which are second only to cake as my favourite dessert.
I just love strawberries, and so the fourth cake was a favourite made by my mom when she was visiting (HI MOM); it’s an angel food cake with strawberry filling, topped with non-dairy whipped cream. Divine!
Last, but certainly not least, was my Nifty Fifty grocery store sheet cake, courtesy of my husband. Chocolate on the inside, vanilla icing and lots of it on the outside; I could not have been happier! There was plenty left over from the party on Saturday to have for Sunday dinner.
I think this Sunday we will take a little break from cake – I have another dessert in mind – but soon it will be Mother’s Day and I think that is a Cake Occasion as well. Have a sweet weekend, my friends. xo
Let them eat cake!!!! And now I want some cake, Nicole!!
I love this post. Life is so short and I think it’s fabulous you had cake many times over in April. (They all sound delicious, by the way.)
I think I speak for just about every woman reading here when I say I spent decades battling with disordered eating habits. It is such a sad, lonely place to be. It makes me genuinely sad to think of all the hours I spent debating what/when/how to eat.
Good news! Food is now there to nourish my body and to bring delight. For the most part, that’s where it stops and starts for me.
I am eating more healthfully than ever in my life…and I think about food a fraction of how often I used to think about it. I’m forever thankful that I escaped that horrible web of lies about what my body needed to look like, and removed “good food” and “bad food” from my vocabulary.
For me The F*ck It diet book literally changed my life.
May is my birthday month and that means…UNBAKED CHERRY CHEESECAKE. Nicole, I am so freaking excited. Also, I plan to have cheesecake for breakfast because it’s one of my “goals” so I have to, right.
You’re my new hero! Cake every weekend in your birthday month? Just fabulous! I’m such a cake person. I love it over pie and cookies. It’s something about the icing..HBDay!
I love everything about this post, maybe most especially that photo of you grinning over your sheet cake. You are so joyful! This is one of the posts that makes me think, If Nicole were to found a cult, I would definitely join. Is that weird to say? I think I’ve said it before, so I guess we’ve already well established that I am a weirdo. Those cakes look divine and I think cake every week of your birth month is a fantastic way to celebrate.
I LOVE cake and all your cakes look divine. It’s my birthday this month, but I will not, and do not, limit eating cake to my birthday. I love the idea of cake every weekend during my birthday month (and beyond).
What a fun idea. And all the cakes look scrumptious.
Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake!!!! Yay!
I need cake at every party; I always have Julia Childs in my head going: “A party without cake is just a meeting.”
I won’t follow any nutrition ‘expert’ who preaches deprivation. The rule should be 80/20, with 80% of the time eating healthy and 20% being indulgences. I do love cake, but I love doughnuts even more. If I had to pick my fave of your cake month, it would have to be the double chocolate strawberry creation. That looks AMAZING! I love chocolate, but I also love a white ‘wedding’ cake with white icing. Also, coconut cake is marvelous!
What was your wedding cake? Mine was from a bakery that made white wedding cakes with a pineapple buttercream filling. It closed in 2019 after 80 years in business. So sad!
At my house, some years the birthday person will choose “doughnut cake” as their birthday cake—it is just a bunch of doughnuts stacked on a plate, ideally with some iced ones on the top to add to the cake illusion. To eat it, everyone cuts off as much as each kind of doughnut as they want to eat.
Yay for cake! A cake is a happy, festive thing that brings to mind special occasions. I love the idea of cake although I don’t really like eating it too much. I’m more of an ice cream person myself. What a fabulous birthday month you had. 🙂
Nicole, what a wonderful gift to yourself – the gift of enjoying cake every weekend of your birthday month! All of your cakes looks amazing! I’m so happy that I don’t deprive myself of cake anymore. I would have a slice of every cake you showed here. My favorite kind of cake is red velvet with cream cheese frosting. Elisabeth mentioned carrot cake in her post, and I’m having a serious craving for it now!
What a celebratory month! It is a head scratcher to go to the trouble of making a cake and then not eating a slice yourself. Given the option of making a cake but not eating it, or just not making the cake, I would choose not making the cake! But that is why I do not make non-GF baked goods in our house. If I can’t enjoy it, I sure as hell am not going to go to the trouble of making the dang thing!
That said, we are not a cake house, but that goes back to GF baking and how unreliable the results are. So our birthday dessert is a cookie cake. Cookies are the most popular dessert in our house so a cookie cake is a great option for a party since there is still something to decorate and it’s more special than handing out cookies. Although Paul did not get a cookie cake this year since I was in the splint and my mom couldn’t come help make a cake so I think I’ll make him one for his half birthday in Sept.
Happy Belated Birthday!!
Cake is wonderful, enchanting, delicious… and all of the cakes you had sound wonderful!! Food is also about nourishing the soul, not just the body. Angel food cake is a favorite in my family- it can be made in a thousand different flavors and be delicious every time!
This made me so wistful. I am regularly buying my own cupcake on my birthday and eating it all by myself because, to be honest, I probably shouldn’t have it in the first place (because of the gluten, not the delicious calories). GF cakes are abominations and my husband doesn’t want it anyway. Maybe this year I should try to actually plan myself a get together so I’m not eating sad birthday cupcake by myself.
I remember long ago reading some book co-written by Oprah and her personal trainer, and it was similarly upsetting/depressing/dispiriting. She was explaining how after months of careful dieting and rigorous exercise she’d been looking forward to the wonderful treat of Thanksgiving dinner with her family and friends, and how her personal trainer had scoffed and said if you let yourself eat good food on special days, EVERY day would become a “special day.” And I thought, first of all, every day IS a special day; but second of all, NO, that is a misapplied and scornful Slippery Slope Argument, and I hate it and disagree with it. I can eat cake on my birthday and Thanksgiving food on Thanksgiving, EVEN IF I WANTED TO BE ON A STRICT DIET MOST OF MY DAYS.
I agree with you and Swistle – every day is a special day and if you want cake have a slice of cake! And if it’s your birthday – then it’s an extra special day and you deserve a slice of cake. Now I want cake.
Oh yummy all those cakes look amazing. It
really is sad to deprive yourself like the WW theory suggested. I do really feel for people that struggle with their weight no matter what they do; and then the label of “I was bad” when a treat is consumed. You aren’t bad! Like you, I am mostly healthy & live delicious clean food, BUT I will eat cake every chance I get. I don’t bake cakes that often as my husband has to watch his desserts, so then I’ll eat the whole damn thing. However for our next family get together I’m going to make a huge delicious cake!!
I was getting my hair done when I read this post this morning on my phone, and I told my hairdresser about the woman saying to BAKE the cake, DECORATE the cake, SLICE the cake, SERVE the cake, but not EAT the cake, even on your own birthday. Then we talked for a while about how sad and HORRIBLE that is. Your approach is SO much better.
If I had to pick one of your cakes, I would choose your lemon angel food cake, that looks amazing. I might serve it would fresh raspberries. YUM.
Generally, I’m not a big cake person. If I’m at a party and someone is having it, I will have some. But if it’s MY birthday, we’re having ice cream. Maybe pie. Maybe pie ala’ mode. But really, it’s ice cream that I want. It doesn’t have that same party feeling though, I’ll admit that freely.
I love this!! And oh my the Weight Watchers book – so terribly sad!