Yesterday marks the five-year anniversary of the first of many Covid lockdowns. I have been reflecting on the pandemic a lot lately because of this; for me as for most, it was a time of despair, depression, anxiety, and fear. I have also discovered that I have a lot of shame and embarrassment due to my unspoken, but strongly felt, feelings of judgement towards others who did not behave the same way I did, or made different choices during that time. It seems my propensity for empathy and compassion took a leave of absence, and for that I am ashamed. The world, after all, is a wild tapestry of lived experiences and situations, and I feel that my silent judgement only contributed to feelings of fracture and polarization that still exist today.
But, as Ma Ingalls said, there is no great loss without some small gain, and to that end I would like to focus on something very positive that resulted from this time of fear and sadness: five long-lasting habits that have improved my life vastly. Had the pandemic not happened, I would likely be the same person I was five years ago, doing the same things, living the same life. But it did, and here are the habits that I kept and love.
Practice At Home / Sweet Home Workouts. I recall seeing a commercial for Peloton circa 2019, and at that time I said to my husband that is the stupidest idea I ever heard, a spin class for one? Who would do that? Who indeed. Prior to the pandemic I was a gym devotee, using the treadmills and going to spin classes, and in May 2020 I ate those words I had spoken a year before. Maybe a Peloton WOULD be a good idea, I mused aloud, Except we don’t have the room. My husband had a Hold My Beer-style response, and immediately ordered one and reorganized our basement to make space. This is both a commentary on our consumption styles – he’s All Action – and on what it was like to live with a gym-free me. Spoiler alert:
The Peloton was, of course, the best purchase we made in 2020, maybe even ever. I use it almost every single day and am currently on a 1538 day streak.
In addition to going to the gym, I would get up very early every morning and head to the yoga studio to practice Mysore-style Ashtanga with a whole community of similarly-minded people, and if you watch that video, I’m the one in the bright pink pants. Five years ago today I switched my practice to a home one and I have never looked back. I miss my yoga people, but I love my quiet little practice at home. This week I have been watching the waxing moon as it falls; I suppose this is an upside to Daylight Saving Time as this happens very, very early in the morning.
Write On. It’s hard to even fathom, but I used to write blog posts whenever I felt like it, any time of the week. When the world shut down and I was faced, Virginia Woolf-like, without a space to write in, I became laser focused. I would write for twenty minutes before starting yoga, I would write on the weekends, I would write whenever I possibly could. I started a count of the weeks we were locked down, and published every Monday, with a Favourite Things every month. I feel like that period of time constraints was so helpful for me to structure my writing, and looking back it gave me a detailed journal of that time. I don’t have the same constraints now, but I kept the structured habits.
I also think that the blogging community really came together during the pandemic; you all showed up! So many new blogs were created, and I made a lot of new friends in that time. I think the blogging community is stronger than ever before, and I will never stop being grateful for all of you who are here, reading this right now.
Hair Affair. When I think of all the money and all the time I spent over the years, getting my hair professionally cut and coloured every five to six weeks, I want to die. Faced with my roots about a month into the pandemic, I purchased a box of Garnier hair colour and just went for it, and I have never looked back. Does it look like a professional job? No. But it costs $10 and I can just colour my hair whenever I feel like it, without blocking off an entire afternoon.
We Will We Will Walk You
I have loved walking since I was very young, but in March 2020 I started to become very intentional with it. In addition to my long-in-duration-but-short-in-distance, slow-boat-to-nowhere strolls with Barkley, I started Nicole Walks, a brisk-paced, five kilometre minimum every day, in any weather. These days, of course, I am accompanied by Rex, which means my brisk pace has slowed to allow for a whole lot of sniffing and people stopping me to admire my giant cartoon-dog-come-to life.
I don’t mind the slower pace; I can take in the fresh air and beautiful surroundings, I listen to podcasts, and I sketch out writing ideas in my mind while getting steps in.
No News Is Good News
I remember exactly when I decided to stop reading the news: it was January 2022. That month was an absolute low point in my life. Prior to that I would, ridiculously, spend massive amounts of time refreshing data on the “curve” and “case numbers” and “new restrictions in place.” In January 2022 there were no home Covid tests available, “case numbers,” were mere estimates, and it turned out that vaccines weren’t the silver bullet we thought they were, as vaccinated people began falling ill. School had been shut down, again, diploma exams were cancelled, and my kids’ mental health took a hit, given all they had lost during their precious high school years. My mental and emotional health was also pretty fragile. The constant scrolling was nothing but another negative impact in my life, but at least it was one that I could control.
I still don’t read the news, although I did break my own rule recently and went into a tailspin about whether or not my country would be annexed. The scrolling that resulted clearly showed the negative impact the news has on my mental health, and so I have implemented a new rule: I look over news headlines one time a day, for a maximum of five minutes. When it comes to news about Canadian politics, I look to my friend Darren, who gives balanced information from an economic and non-partisan perspective (HI DARREN).
Ma Ingalls was right. There is something good in everything and these long-lasting habits have been incredibly positive for me. Another thing the pandemic gave me was gratitude for the everyday things. Every time I hug a friend or share a meal, every time I board a plane to explore our vast, beautiful world, every time I go to the grocery store and encounter people without suspicion that they are vectors of disease, I feel incredibly grateful. But, to misquote the Four Non-Blondes, I pray, oh my god do I pray, I pray every single day for us to never walk this path again. May we never. xo
Sounds like only good habits came from the pandemic, Nicole. More power to you!
Five years! It seems so long ago, and yet so many of those changes are with us permanently. (I still can’t put unwashed veggies in the fridge… lol)
I admit I’m pretty loosey-goosey with things like unwashed veggies. I mean, I wash them before I eat them, but prior to that I’m a bit meh!
Well, first of all (and most importantly) I love a Rex-heavy post! The side-eye photo is hilarious.
Yes, there were definitely good things that came out of the pandemic. I’m still upset that it ruined my son’s senior year of high school, but I’m sure he would say, looking back, that there were positives (hmm! I should ask him about that!) For me, my life didn’t change THAT MUCH during the pandemic. That’s what happens when you live in Florida with a really weird governor. Everything was closed for five weeks, and then I went back to work, wearing a mask. Our schools opened again in the fall of 2020, so my daughter went, again wearing a mask of course (my son opted to do school from home, since everything that actually makes school fun- football games, concerts, etc. wasn’t happening.). In short, I lived my life but in an extremely inconvenient manner. Yes- may we never, ever again.
I’m so sorry your son’s senior year was wrecked. By the time my older son graduated, things were a lot better on that front (2022). But still there was so much the kids missed out on.
It is crazy to me that it’s been 5 years since the start of the pandemic. I haven’t really wanted to reflect on that time to be honest but I appreciate others’ reflections. It was a painful time for family dynamics because I followed the advice of my physicians and was very high risk between RA and being pregnant and I was very much judged for that decision by some family members. I sought out therapy in the fall which was so helpful. We worked on “radical acceptance” which is freaking HARD and not something I came even close to mastering. The relationships have mostly healed but there are lots of things we just don’t discuss with my family and they know to not have Fox News on when we are at their home. So we’ve found a compromise. I’m glad to be off social media so I don’t have to see what they share, though, because it’s just not good for my relationships.
I love that you came away from the pandemic with great habits! I am grateful that my kids were the ages they were during the pandemic, though. Paul does not remember it at all – he turned 2 at the start. Daycare never closed but we did keep him home for the first 7 weeks of the pandemic. I think the worst ages to be during the pandemic are early elementary (how could one do kindergarten over zoom??) or a teen/college-aged student that missed out on formative experiences. My kids really did not miss much and it was honestly kind of nice to not have a revolving door of visitors when Will was born. People dropped off food and waved at us through the door. As an introvert, it was kind of ideal – aside from worrying about what illnesses Paul might be bringing home from daycare and alllll the damn nasal swabs (which was a 2 person job as one adult had to restrain Paul while the other adult did the swab). Sigh.
Ugh, Lisa, that’s rough about your family. I have also had to practice radical acceptance and it is very very difficult.
I’m impressed your daycare never closed! I agree 100% that elementary school is the absolute worst for online schooling, but also the teen years. I watched my very extroverted teen slump over his laptop for eight hours a day, doing “gym” in his room, and honestly, Lisa, it was the worst. Online schooling was a disservice to our kids.
I agree that the personal blogging community came together in a new way during the pandemic. Many of us old-time bloggers found, or rediscovered, each other while new bloggers jumped in. Like you I’m grateful for the blogging community and how much fun and support I find in it. Hoping the sense of togetherness continues for a long time to come.
It really did change – and Ally, you are the person who changed my commenting! I used to not respond to every comment but now I do, and I think it increases the “chat” we have. So thank you! I owe you one!
I think the biggest lasting changes for us are Beth still working at home and both of us taking long walks every day. I was already in the habit of a daily walk but it got longer first with covid and then even longer with diabetes (2022).
The long walks are a good upside, for sure! I can’t believe it’s four years since your diagnosis, time is truly a blur.
2021, not 2022. Can’t believe I forgot when it happened for a second there. It was such a big change for me.
I’m with you that I never want another world pandemic, and also that strangely it was one of the happiest times of my life.
The impact of WFH cannot be overstated. Anywhere between one to two hours every.single.weekday back in my life due to no commute. Getting to spend the day with my dog. The amount of time that I have not been sick due to not being in a germy office.
I think that we all *knew* the correct things to do in the pandemic, and that we all got a little bent out of shape when “everyone else” wasn’t following our rules. Mine were absolutely stay home and stay six feet away, absolutely wear a mask when it was mandated, and absolutely get the vax the minute that I was allowed to. But also spend time with my 20 closest family members every chance we got.
At least wo things have stuck since the pandemic. One is that I walk more. I’ve always walked, but I’m more likely to “commute” from the kitchen to my upstairs office via a walk around the block now, and there are two dog walks a day instead of one. The second is that we went from buying 1-2 bottles of wine at a time to always buying six. Before the pandemic it seemed silly to buy that much wine at one time, even though there was a 10% discount. Now the discount plus the convenience of always having wine on hand makes it seem silly to ever buy just one bottle.
My husband also really enjoyed not having to commute 45 mins each way in stop-and-go traffic, and he also saved a lot of money by not having to buy lunches, pay for parking, etc. I went from teaching 10-12 classes a week – and driving to different studios – to 1-2 over zoom, so I had a lot of time on my hands suddenly.
I have been feeling quite down the last few weeks, thinking about all the things that we have lost. It’s hard not to dwell on it. I missed time with two of my grand babies that I’ll never get back (they were 2 and 6 months when lockdown started and since their father was working in the ICU, we basically didn’t get together for a year). Also, my son’s wedding reception had to be scrapped. I still cry thinking about those things.
Thank you for remembering the positives. I found podcasts, due to my long walks, as well as exercise YouTubers.
Oh Bijoux, I’m sorry. Those are some big losses for you. There were so many things lost during that time, it was honestly terrible.
If it makes you feel better (I don’t know why it would, to be fair), I still hold grudges against a number of small businesses who acted irresponsibly during the pandemic. This truly limits the number of places I can go in my small town, but guess what? I HOLD GRUDGES.
My husband and I had been training our whole lives for the pandemic. I think of that time, personally, very fondly. I know a lot of people missed big life events and people died and I know that things were bad for the world as a whole, but for me, personally, it was a true delight to stay home and walk my dog and work from home with my husband and be able to decline all social events. We stayed home for Christmas!
The only thing that has really stayed with me is that I do a lot of virtual classes through our local health care organization. It’s still local and I have local fitness friends, but I don’t have to factor in time to commute to a gym or yoga studio. But otherwise I’m back in the office, back to having to leave my house for holidays, and sort of grumpy about it all.
Lololol “My husband and I had been training our whole lives for the pandemic.” – you crack me up.
I try not to think about the pandemic because it was probably the most stressful time of my life. My husband is a first responder and never worked one day from home (because he couldn’t) during the whole thing, or ever. I worked from home with a Kindergartener, then 1st grader, who did online school for over a year. For Lisa who asked above how a kindergartener does online school, they basically don’t. They can’t read and certainly can’t sit in a chair the whole day. (My daughter has terrible handwriting to this day because all her assignments were on the computer for a year). And because I was working I couldn’t supervise her constantly. On top of that I had a 2 year old home from daycare also for over a year. My in-laws were around luckily and watched her for a few hours in the morning. So it was chaos all the time. I guess the good thing that came out of it is that I get to work from home 2 days a week instead of one (eyeroll).
Oh, SARAH. Honestly, it sounds like every difficult thing, you had it. Online schooling was a real disservice to our kids, not to mention the assumption that the mother would just suddenly be a homeschooler, despite having to work. My kids were in high school and that was bad enough, but I think online schooling was worse for elementary age. I often think about how 2019 people were like “kids are on screens too much” and then suddenly it was like “hey, let’s put a six year old in front of a screen for six hours a day.” It was absolutely awful for my kids. And your husband is a first responder? SARAH I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU RIGHT NOW. What a terrible time for you. May this never, ever happen again.
There is something good in everything. You (and Ma Ingalls) are so right. I loved reading about the habits you picked up during lockdown that you still keep to this day. I remember writing all day, anytime, because Ella was homeschooling—no pickup times or activities. It felt so freeing, though I’m not sure Ella would describe it that way. 🤣
The no-news thing is truly inspiring, though. I stopped watching local news during 2020 because it was so depressing, and I haven’t watched news on TV since. But my parents always had it on, all day, every day—even up until my dad was dying. Since his death, my mom doesn’t have it on at all. 💜
I can almost feel it in my body when I start reading the news. It’s like tension just floods through.
We had a small house, and with everyone at home and trying to work/ school, I had no space or computer to write on! It was chaotic.
The photo of Rex is the best! The Pandemic was awful and stressful in so many ways. My husband and I were running our little livestock feed store, which was deemed an essential business, so we were very busy. We did the whole mask thing, put up a plastic barrier at the cash register, and kept our distance. I’d sanitize the counter, pens, door handles, etc. after every customer! We also had curbside service and allowed people to call in their orders, and several people did that. But so many people were lonely and wanted to stand around in the warehouse area and visit. Sometimes I’d have to come out of the office and remind them to stand further apart or put on their masks, and I hated doing that! I tried to be sweet, yet stern, and they’d say, “Well here comes Michelle, that means we’d better get going!”
Ooof Michelle, what a time for you. And “so many people were lonely” – totally. It was such a lonely and isolating time for so many. When I went back to teach in the fall of 2020, there were so many crazy restrictions in place for yoga classes to run at all. I had to teach with a mask, mats were distanced, everyone had to file in a certain way and file out a certain way, etc. And the ladies that were in my class, they were so very lonely and desperate to just get out and do things, and if they were talking too close to one another, the community centre manager made ME go and tell them they had to keep apart. But some of them lived alone and were just starved for contact. I hated having to do that too, just like you. It was such a terrible time.
Nicole, teaching yoga in a mask had to be awful! I mean, yoga is all about breathing -and a mask is not! Thank goodness we don’t have to wear masks all the time now. (Although, I’ll wear one if I get sick, and I’m so happy when other people do the same – and so cross when they don’t.) Being a “rule enforcer” in places like a yoga studio or a small business was HARD and SO STRESSFUL. A lot of people flat out refused to listen. But we were required by law to follow the protocols and people could report us if we didn’t, so we tried very hard. Ugh. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
It is very hard to believe it’s been 5 years, I don’t like to think about the actual date because it’s equated with my daughter’s birthday – basically her whole teenage hood has been impacted which is so upsetting. But yet we’ve also done pretty good considering that all that mayhem was still going on in 2022, I can’t even fathom it now. Everything was just too crazy. Your habits are excellent, I need to be more habitual and yes, may we never!!
Oh that is so upsetting, Anna. I remember a friend of mine, who is a professor, saying the university was going to shut down, and I could not believe it. Then she said schools would be next and I was like NO, that will never happen! I still am shocked, honestly. It was so bad for our kids!
I remember well the beginning of the pandemic and how dark and scary it all was. I also remember judging people’s behavior and I’m not ashamed of it to this day; because their behavior caused so very many deaths.
And when I do go out in public and see other people coughing, sneezing sans mask and acting like it’s perfectly fine to do so, I judge them as well – apparently, they learned nothing from that dark time. And as we all know, failing to learn from history means we are doomed to repeat it. *sigh* climbs off my soapbox.
I understand, Gigi, it’s frustrating when people don’t seem to take other people into account.
I’m so glad that so many good things came out of that experience for you. I think in many ways I’m still in the pandemic’s grip – both academic careers in my household took a hit, as we had just begun two large research projects that imploded. I did however, enjoy the time I got to spend with my 6 and 9 year old. I was able to stop travelling which was good for them. Fingers crossed 2025 will be the year I finally turn the corner.
Oh Tamara, I’m so sorry about your research projects. So much loss during that time, I’m sorry it’s still affecting you.
My friend drew the cover of that album on her wall in HS, the one with the train. Good times. I am glad that some things that came out if that time were positive! I definitely went through some similar things, like I never was a big FB user but after seeing people get into political fights online about mask wearing, I stopped looking at FB at all. Same with Next-door and other neighborhood sites, which just became indicators of all of our differences instead of a way to come together.
It was early when I read this comment, so I was like, what album cover? Oh yes! The Four Non-Blondes!
There were positives that came out of it for me, which I have to focus on because so much was just terrible. Kyria, you are spot on with FB, Next Door, etc., because it is so true, people just showed their differences. I’m trying to overcome that now with empathy and understanding but it was such a fiery divisive time!
I kind of love that you were able to adapt your life in such wonderful ways out of such a difficult, anxious time! I don’t think I’ve kept any pandemic era habits, except sometimes over buying at the grocery store.
Nicole, this was a wonderful, heartwarming post. I loved it. My yoga studio closed (today was the last class #sob) but I singed up for Peloton, hoping to use their strength and yoga features/classes. We have a bike but Tony mainly uses that. Wish me luck motivating myself!
The pandemic was so hard for so many people. People who died, people who lost loved ones, people who have never exactly recovered from long covid. Parents who were somehow expected to work full time from home and teach their small children. Teacher who were somehow expected to teach remotely. SO HARD. I look back on it, and I remember how stressful it was, and I feel like a lot of that stress was manufactured, because it was so politicized, and then that spring/summer was George Floyd and protests for equal justice. Then that fall was one of wildfires in NorCal and blackouts due to a heat wave. IT SUCKED SO BAD, I also hope to never repeat that.
Here in our house, though, it was pretty OK. My daughter was an adult and didn’t miss out on any school stuff. She worked from home for about 6 months, and when they wanted her to come back to the office in the fall, she got a new job that allowed her to work from home for another year. My husband worked from home (at our dining room table at first, then in my daughter’s bedroom). I was home already, I started working from home in 2006. I think Mulder thought it was the best time ever, because we rarely left the house, and if we went on any kind of outing, we brought him with us. I missed seeing family at the holidays, but we managed and I kind of enjoyed the quiet of not having to be anywhere.
My friend Dana lived in a retirement community, and spent her time alone in her room, which was very isolating. I would call her on her phone, but her hearing was so bad, it didn’t work well. She died during that time, though not from covid, and I so wished I could have seen her. Same with my Great Aunt, (except the dying part) though she was at home, and her friend/housekeeper still came over once a week. My step mom was still mourning my dad, and felt the loneliness so keenly, especially that winter.
Yeah, let’s not do that again.
I’m not sure if there are any pandemic habits that I’ve kept, other than working from home full-time, lol. I’ll admit that the pandemic was a wonderful time for me, and I am SO GRATEFUL I can say that. I got to start working remotely full-time (which is all I had ever wanted). I read the most books I’ve EVER read in a year (156). I got to spend a lot of time with my mom as she was one of the few people in my bubble. And I didn’t have to worry about FOMO when my friends did things without me because we all were stuck at home! It was truly a great time in my life, although I was stressed about how our state was handling the virus. BOWLING ALLEYS WERE OPEN IN MAY 2020! BOWLING ALLEYS! It was insane.
Having the theatres shut down and not being able to work was really hard for me, but I just thew myself into being home with the kids and you know what? We had some pretty great times during the lock down. Even still, the whole zoom school was TERRIBLE. 10/10 would not do that again.
One nice thing that came out of the pandemic was that working from home became more acceptable in my workplace. It used to be that no one was allowed to work from home, and we’d all just secretly email our documents to our personal email so we could work from home on the weekends if we didn’t have rehearsal. The pandemic made it okay to work from home, and that was good. I think it also made it okay to call out sick. I came up in the business at a time when the Stage Manager never called in sick. But now we are so much more forgiving about that kind of stuff and prioritize people having the time to rest and recover if they are ill.
I also started exercising during the pandemic. Though that coincided with me having a baby in my 40th year, and realizing that my metabolism wasn’t what it used to be. So I’m not sure if I would have started running any way. I will say the pandemic gave me time to see exercise and running as something that could incorporate into my day.