I spent a lot of time by myself over the past couple of weeks, and it turns out that when this happens I end up pondering concepts that should be, in theory, fairly simple, but by the time I’m finished mulling things over, words themselves have lost all meaning.
I love delving into semantics as much as the next person, and so when I listened to a recent Ologies episode on, of all things, Fun, I ended up thinking about it for days. Days. I throw that word around like nobody’s business; I am always having fun, or saying this is so fun, or contemplating wouldn’t it be fun to have Greek salad for dinner? I have come to the conclusion that most of the time, when I think something is fun, what I am really saying is that it is enjoyable or that it brings me happiness or contentment, and that is not really the same thing as fun. If someone asked What do you do for fun? I might say something about gardening, or walking with Rex, or reading, or riding my Peloton. But are those things actually fun? I love them all, I feel joyful and happy while doing them, but I’m not sure if they can be classified as purely fun. When I think of fun, I think of something that completely takes me out of myself, mentally and physically.
I’ve analyzed the word fun so much that I am now one step away from giving you the Webster’s Dictionary definition.
I am a bit of a cozy homebody type, and yet I also love to travel, and after much thought I have come to the conclusion that my most fun experiences have occurred when I am travelling. I think of Disney World with the guys, I think of zip-lining in Mexico, I think of boogie boarding in Maui.
And if I think about it even more, I think that so many of my most fun experiences can be traced back to my friend Jen (HI JEN). She and I have karaoked Hold On both in public and not, we learned to zumba poolside in Playa Mujeres, we laughed until we cried about lizards having sex and public finger blasting, we became hysterical while listening to a cover band singing Smooth Operator, and together we became overly involved in puzzles and the game Mexican Train over New Year’s. We can sit together in companionable silence while we read books, we can giggle over margaritas and wine, we can walk and swim and do things together and I never, ever get tired of her. She’s the sister I never had, I love her kids and husband dearly, and she was here visiting me for an extended girls’ weekend!
WE HAD FUN.
We read books and went to my favourite bookstore, we had margaritas on the deck in the middle of the day, we went to a wine tasting and then came home and drank more wine as we watched a movie, we walked and did puzzles like we were in some kind of professional puzzling competition. I was sad to see her go, but also, in a twist of the philosophical saying, happy that this extended weekend existed at all.
Softening the blow of Jen’s leaving was the arrival of my husband and son, home from their very long road trip in the camper up north. They drove up the Dempster Highway to Tutoyatuk, they swam in the Arctic Ocean and hiked along glaciers, clocking almost 9000 kilometres in total. It was definitely the trip of a lifetime. They had fun!
Weekly Reading
I forgot to mention that I had a DNF this month; it was the book Rouge, which I tried twice to read, and just could not. I guess I’m not a magical kind of gal. But the books I did read this week I really enjoyed.
Funny Story. When Daphne’s fiance calls off their wedding to get together with Miles’ girlfriend, Daphne finds herself in need of a place to live. She moves in with Miles, temporarily, and together they come up with a plan to “get back” at the newly engaged couple – they pretend THEY are a couple. OMG you won’t believe what happens next. Okay, yes you will, you will absolutely be able to predict everything that happens, but we don’t read Emily Henry books to be shocked and surprised, do we? We read them because they are wonderfully cute romances with amazing dialogue and fun banter. We read them because they have heart, and lovely characters, and are just all-round fun. Two fun facts: just like I thought Nichelle was a name I had made up when I was 13 only to discover that no, it is a name, I also thought I was the only person in the world who identified with Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice. Daphne also identifies with Charlotte Lucas!!! Second fun fact: Emily Henry has just had her 34th birthday, and I am in awe of her incredible success in the romance writing world. The tl;dr on this is that I really, really enjoyed it. It’s a satisfying book and I always love a “chosen family” side plot.
Early Morning Riser. I first read this in 2021, and my impression at that time was that it was extremely delightful, and also, that I could not at all describe it. On my second read, I think it is even more delightful than I remembered, and also, there is no way to really describe the delightfulness that is this book. There is no discernable plot. The romantic lead is – and there is no other way to describe him, really – a dirtbag who has slept with basically every woman in his small Michigan town, and most of the women in the surrounding area. And yet! Yet this book is so warm and joyful and bighearted, and it is hysterically, laugh-out-loud funny, if you are a person who shares my sense of humour and also love of Jane Austen-style wit. It’s a series of vignettes and character sketches of people in this small town, and it’s a testament to chosen family – theme of the week? – and all kinds of love. There is a scene where the protagonist is preparing her children for bath time, and it was so wonderful that I read it at least six times. I love this author and her writing style is GOALS for me. If you are a person who requires a firm plot and definable theme, and if you do NOT like an understated style of humour, then this won’t work for you, probably. But it is a near-perfect read for me.
I hope you all are having a beautiful August! The garden is going rogue with produce, my second planting of greens has sprouted, life is good. Have a FUN week, friends! xo
Really, Charlotte Lucas? I like that plot point in the book, when Elizabeth is aghast that she could marry such an odious man, and Charlotte’s defense that it’s much better than the alternative, which is her never getting married at all. But that’s not what your post is about! I agree there’s a difference between “fun” and “contentment”, and it led me to think about the activities I enjoy. Am I having fun while reading? I guess… but maybe fun is supposed to be more adventurous. Maybe I need more fun in my life! I”ll have to think about this.
I laughed at your review of Funny Story- omg you won’t believe what happens next! Ha ha… I’m pretty sure I could predict the entire book. But it does sound… fun.
I mean, we can’t all be Elizabeth, or even Jane. We all want to but we have to be realistic here! I definitely would be Charlotte. I confessed this to one of my best friends and she said “if it makes you feel better, I’m definitely Mary.” It was one of the best exchanges of my LIFE. Now I think about that all the time, Charlotte and Mary.
Your girls weekend does sound super fun. I liked both of those books— actually I LOVED the Heiny book— it was on my top 10 of 2021, in fact: https://www.harrytimes.com/2021/12/what-i-read-2021-books-of-year.html
Heiny is one of my favourite writers and I love everything she’s written! This might be my number one though.
Now I am going to do a deep dive on the etymology of fun, Nicole! Thank you! (Learning about words is fun for me!)
But also I take your point about fun vs. enjoyable. And… I think I am not really a fun person? True fun seems a little giddy and out of control for me, and I don’t like ceding control. I do ENJOY a lot of things though, I promise!
I need to read BOTH of those books! But I am such a slow reader! I have had Funny Story on loan from the library well past my allotted two weeks and HAVE NOT CRACKED IT. Yikes!
Enjoyment of things is wonderful though! No need to get crazy! Although I don’t mind getting crazy myself every now and then…
I like your exploration of fun. We all need more of it and a wine tasting + reading + gardening are three ways of having a good time I can embrace. Hope your fun times continue on.
Thanks Ally – I know you’d be up for a wine drinking/ book reading/ gardening afternoon!
Your love of life is absolutely, well, joyful! When you say “won’t it be fun to have a big salad for dinner!”, does your fam respond “so fun!!!” Lol. Mine would not. Your friend that you laugh all the time with reminds me of one of my long time closest friends who has been living in England since we were early in our 20’s (long ago). When we do see each other, though not very often, we still laugh incessantly at all the same things- just like when we were 15 years old.
You won’t believe this but they actually DO get excited when it’s Big Salad Night!
I love friends with whom you laugh until you can’t actually speak anymore!
I know I overuse the word fun and use it to mean enjoyable. I hadn’t really thought about it before. You did some heavy thinking while your guys were away! Swimming in the arctic ocean sounds amazing – that truly is a trip of a lifetime! I put Funny Story on my wish list – it sounds just like my kind of book.
This is what happens when left alone to my own devices. One step away from “webster’s dictionary defines fun as…”
This is bizarre, but a neighbor I walk with told me at the beginning of summer that she had contemplated the word FUN and that she couldn’t remember the last time she had any. I thought that was so sad, but she is a depressing person to begin with, so not shocking. I also tend to have the most fun while on vacation, but I also can have fun when I just go out with friends, my spouse, or couple friends. But you’re right; I’m not having FUN all of the time that I claim something is fun. It truly is just enjoyable.
I wrote down your second book recommendation because it sounds like it’s right up my alley. I read that Emily Henry book and liked it a lot, too. I feel as though I need to discover Mexican Train.
Bwhahaha I laughed at “she is a depressing person to begin with” – you reap what you sow, I guess!
This post was so much fun! I’m glad you had such a nice time with your sister from another mister. (I’ve heard people say that, and I’m not sure it makes sense?)
Also: Fun in general seems to be pretty high stakes with expectations of extroversion and expense, no? Who’s to say one can’t have fun reading or doing puzzles?
That Heiny book made me chortle–I did not at all expect to like it, and yet…
Hmmm, I never thought of fun as being high stakes, I will have to ponder that some more!
I often refer to Jen as my sister from another mister, it does kind of make sense?
I mean… like… “sister from another mother” makes sense to me because it’s like we’re sisters although we don’t share the same mother. But is “mister” a stand in for father here? If not I don’t get it? I’m being too literal, aren’t I? 😑
Yes! That’s how I have always thought of it.
I’m exactly the same as you – my idea of “fun” ranges the gamut between stuff that everyone thinks is fun (vacations) to things that only I think are fun (taking snuggle breaks with the dog during the workday, using the special shower scum cleaner to get our glass shower door sparkling just like new…). Hey I like what I like!
Birchy, we are cut from the same cloth! That cloth which is a tapestry of all our fun (“fun”) activities!
Your friend sounds delightful and I’m so glad you enjoyed your visit with her. I had not really thought about the use of the word fun, but you raise a good point. For me, I so enjoy having all or most of the kids together at a meal and then conversing with them. This usually leads to lots of laughs, aside from the ‘who’s got the floor’ moments that come with a big group who all have something to say. That 2nd book sounds really good.
It was such a great visit! Thanks Ernie!
Fun…who knew just examining the word could lead you (me) into a deep spiral of what it means. The most fun I have these days usually involves spending time with those I love the most and having conversation.
Hahaha isn’t it weird how you start thinking of a word and then it takes over your life, figuring out exactly what it means?
Your girls weekend sounds delightful! I love those friendships where you can sit in companionable silence but also talk non-stop for hours. And I am always here for mid-day margs. I need more of those weekends in my life but my time will come.
I am reading ‘funny story’ right now and it’s so delightful! Of all the books she has written this is one I want to see the movie of because I need to see what Miles looks like.
Now for the topic of fun. As I moved into my 40s I have embraced the fact that what I think of as fun is different than others’ definition of fun. I spent so many years sort of pretending ‘mainstream fun’ was fun for me when it wasn’t. I like to be in bed early and talk about books and work on puzzles and day drink.
Awww, I’d love to have you over for puzzles and day drinking and books. My friend and I went to bed before nine every night, it was perfection.
I need some BFF fun, but sadly my BFF is far away and such a trip is not in the cards this year. I will, however, be having a staycation in September, and plan to have some FUN with my husband, as well as some contented quiet time. Other fun recently was a retirement party on Saturday, and a concert last Tuesday. I’m glad you had so much fun with your friend, though! Makes me wistful for my closest friends who are all (almost all) far away now.
I have one close friend from my childhood whom I adore and yet have so much trouble talking to, because she is voting for Trump and everything I think about him and his party, she thinks about Biden and Harris and their party, and believes male boxers are hitting women in the face at the Olympics and 3rd term abortion is a real issue. We laugh when we get together, we have fun, but it’s fraught and complicated at the same time.
Ooof, I understand, J, sometimes people we love hold problematic views. It’s a tricky thing to maneuver around.
To me, it sounds like you had a very fun weekend with your friend! I like drinking wine and letting loose. However, the trip your husband and son took sounds even more like my kind of fun!
I tried to read Henry a second time after not really living the first of her books I has read but I think she’s just not for me. I actually think that once in a while a romance is okay, but the fluffy ones more and more just don’t do it for me. It seems like I am in the minority here though!
I’m sure you would love the trip the guys went on!
Oh, that friend time sounds wonderful.
I know of the name Nichelle because of Nichelle Nichols from Star Trek. We watched that when I was a kid, and seeing her name in the credits I was a little fascinated by the way it was Michelle and yet ABSOLUTELY NOT MICHELLE. It’s like…Micole. Or Bristen.
I have never seen Star Trek, but a few people have mentioned that actor to me! Here I thought I was the originator of a very unique name!
BRISTEN
I agree with you Nicole that often we say something fun as something we enjoy doing. True fun thing are usually something I wouldn’t do ordinary, adventurous and silly. I rarely find myself describing something fun these days. A good question to ponder 🙂
I guess there can be understated fun, and then wild fun, and now I’m thinking about it all over again!
Now I am asking myself what do I like to do that’s that kind of fun: Roller coasters, horror movies, swimming in big ocean waves, but all within limits. I like small to medium coasters, there are some horror movies I wouldn’t watch (or wish I hadn’t), and I have (on rare occasions) gotten out of the water because the waves were too big. These are all things my wife does not enjoy.
Oooh Steph, I also love roller coasters and swimming in the ocean, but you’re on your own for horror movies. I think I’m more adventurous when it comes to roller coasters than big waves though.
I’m reading Funny Story right now! So far I am annoyed by every single one of the characters, so it’s not off to a great start.
I also describe things as fun constantly. At home: Want to go for a walk, Hannah? It will be fun! Describing my commute: I had a fun time listening to Garth Brooks too loudly in the car. At work: Does anyone want to look at this fun situation this student is having? Fun is what you make of it, I guess.
I’m not sure what the fun situation the student is having, but it sure sounds interesting!
I ALSO just had a weekend visit with a friend (and her daughter) in which we did many fun things! I like my job because it is sometimes frustrating, often enjoyable, and then sometimes unexpectedly very fun.
I discovered Emily Henry as a writer of young adult fantasy and was surprised as heck to find out that she mainly writes romances (I’ve double checked a few times, I think it is the same author). I haven’t tried any of her romances yet and might not for a while, but Early Morning Riser sounds absolutely delightful and is going on my list.
Allison, it is the same author, I know her only from romance but then I heard how she got her start in YA fantasy. What a prolific career she has had at such a young age!
So now you’ve got me thinking about fun. When I think about it maybe fun needs laughter, excitement or similar active emotion that bubbles out rather than quiet enjoyment. For me that usually means other people are involved, but it is an interesting quesiton to think about.
Your weekend with your friend sounds absolutely delightful—and lots of fun! We were in Sydney with a group of friends not long ago and I must say we had a lot of fun, just hanging out. There was lots of laughter and all the usual in jokes.
Yes, I think laughter and excitement have to be involved for something truly “fun” and it sounds like you had a fun time in Sydney!
Realizing that Fun has a different meaning was we age, is enlightening. I agree with you that traveling does bring a large amount of fun, but being at home with a dear friend for days, is also the best kind of fun…especially at this stage of the game! Your weekend sounds just perfect. Wine and puzzling are two of my favorite things to do with my friends.
I feel like we would be well suited to HAVING FUN together, Suz! Travel! Wine! Puzzling!
There’s another book that goes into this concept of fun, The Power of Fun, and I want to read it but I also wonder if it would be really overwhelming to me to think about what is FUN in this author’s mind. Like, reading is fun for me but I can also be highly distractible while reading. Blogging is fun for me, but it can also be overwhelming at times when I feel really behind on reading/commenting. When I’m on vacation and I’m doing something that feels totally out of my ordinary life (like zip-lining!) that feels really fun. Or maybe that’s when I feel the most alive? IDK if that’s within the parameters of “fun.” I think I’m taking the fun out of fun HA.
I have heard so many good things about that Heiny book – I need to add it to my TBR!
Lol, taking the fun out of fun!
I am going to look up that book!
Oh, what a great concept to ponder… fun vs. enjoyment. I think they’re kinda related but not the same. I agree with you that a lot of things what we do bring us joy and we feel happy doing them, but fun is an elevated feeling above all that. Something that leaves your breathless, excited, and weirdly detached from reality for a moment. It’s like that feeling that your heart is going to bubble over.
San, I agree with you – I think that’s a perfect way to separate fun and enjoyment!
FUN. A loaded term. For me it’s travel, the enjoyment of it, the learning, and the challenge. I wish I could do it more often but for now I can only do one week in the spring and a few weeks in the summer. Still, more than other people. I love to read but it’s not fun. I love my friends, but they are not fun (love you guys). I have to ponder this a bit more.
It seems like you have amazing travels, you really take advantage of the time you have!
So, I did do a deep dive into the definitions on OED.com. See: nerd. The nuanced differences between fun, joy, and happy/happiness are so interesting. I love etymology and reading the old English (or even older) origins of the words is also fascinating. I don’t think I have a lot of fun. I experience enjoyment, but the rib-splitting laughter that you and your friend have? No, not really. I think I am a bit of an Eeyore, to be honest. And I love that you are – in my mind – a Tigger. It takes all kinds, right? (I also love San’s comment about the breathlessness that fun brings – being outside yourself, and fully in the moment…)
ANNE!!! A Tigger! I’m dying! Also – probably that’s spot on the money.