Thank you all so much for your commiseration about the wildlife situation around here; I am happy to tell you that since the neighbourhood collectively locked up their garbage, Baloo seems to have moved on to greener pastures, hopefully one that has natural, non-garbage food to eat. I know things will be different once fruit season kicks in, but for now, I’m breathing a sigh of relief. Now, am I low-level on the edge in the morning, obsessively checking the windows before going outside or letting Rex out? Yes I am. Did my heart rate increase by fifty on hearing a suspicious noise as I prepared for my yoga practice, only to discover that it was my mother-in-law innocently moving her recycling bin? Also yes. I thought you were the bear! I scream-whispered at five in the morning.
Just to add to the excitement, Rex and I have taken what I call “urban walks,” as opposed to our walks along the nature paths or up Knox Mountain, four times over the past two weeks, and each time we have seen coyotes. One even followed us down the sidewalk for a while, as Rex barked and barked and I used every ounce of strength to hold him back. Do I find that incredibly unsettling? Yes I do.
This park bench is on our urban walking route, and it brings me so much joy, I cannot even. Looking at it makes those coyote encounters feel worthwhile. It’s like there is an entire story written in just one sentence; I feel like Lloyd’s bench is a book that is just waiting to be written.
Speaking of books, I have one of those five year, one line a day journals, and now that I’m on my third year with it, I’m really seeing the payoff. I consider this blog to be a journal of sorts, but the one line a day is such a good way to capture, briefly, what was going on in my life, and I can see at this time last year, I was basically having a nervous breakdown.
One of the many things causing my breakdown was the uncertainty of basically everything to do with the move, and more specifically, the change in medical care. Last Wednesday, I went to note in my journal that I had, with pride and excitement, accomplished something I have been working on for more than six months, and on that very day, one year before, my husband had received some pretty devastating medical news. Now, before we all hit the panic at the disco button, let me reassure you that my husband is still alive and thriving, but at the time, we didn’t know what was going to happen. He needed a medical procedure, and we were six weeks out from moving to a new province. We didn’t know if he’d be able to get it before we left, and if he wasn’t, what were we going to do? Come back? We’d already sold the house, the movers were booked, and once a person moves to a new province, there can be a huge, sometimes indefinite delay in getting a doctor and finding medical care.
Things worked out fine for him, ultimately, but we were still doctor-less until just this week, and quite frankly, that was sooner than I could have even hoped. I’m thrilled to check “find a doctor” off our collective to-do list. Just this week we also found a dentist, due to my son somehow cracking his retainer in half and needing a new one, and started the process to renew all of our passports.
Why is dealing with anything government-related so tedious and painful? Remember the last time I had to renew the boys’ passports? At that time I dealt with the most competent government employee who had a zest for his job that I have never seen before or since, and it was still a process and a half. I am steeling myself to go to Service Canada today, thoughts and prayers greatly appreciated.
My dad, in the most dad way possible, has gifted my husband and I, along with our sons when they started driving, motor association memberships every Christmas of our married life, and one of the perks of the membership is the ability to get professional and discounted passport photos, so off we all went to cross this task off our to-do lists. Is there anything less flattering and more distressing than a passport photo? It’s worse even than a driver’s license photo. I pulled my hair into a bun, remembering the last time, when I had to smooth and sleek my hair into oblivion, and prepared myself mentally to see myself as others see me, face in grim repose.
What I didn’t prepare for was the ego-crushing admonishment that I was “too shiny” and had to use blotting papers not once but three times before the photographer was satisfied, and then I had a “there’s something on your face” that turned out to be just my face. Fellow Gen X ladies: it is very hard to unlearn the Matte Or Death lessons of our youth, but in the interest in not looking like one of those dried-apple dolls, I have been using products that are meant to mimic the dewy glow of youth. Am I comfortable with the dewiness? No, I am not. However, I recognize that matte products, on Women Of A Certain Age can exacerbate the physical signs of aging on the skin and YES, I EMBRACE MY AGING PROCESS, and YES, I AM PRO-AGING, but I would also like to not look completely like the afore-mentioned dried-apple doll. And so here I am, using non-matte tinted serums with all the hyaluronic acids and whatnot, and I get a stern talking-to by the passport photographer that I am JUST TOO DAMN SHINY. One cannot win. And then, even with all that shine, my age is vastly apparent, like a dried-apple doll that has been brushed with olive oil. My neck, in this photo and probably in life, resembles a narrow, striated tree trunk, and my facial expression toes the line of sociopath. Well. As I said, there is no good passport photo, and I will continue to never use filters on my regular photos, to lessen the shock value of reality.
Weekly Reading
Open Secrets. After my run of meh books last week, I felt that I had to break the streak with a reread of one of my favourite Alice Munro collections. Well, they are all my favourites, how can a person choose? I have wholeheartedly loved every single story she ever wrote. RIP Alice Munro! As a side note, celebrity deaths almost never affect me, I either think the person has already died, or else I just don’t feel anything at all. But Alice Munro! She was such a gift to the literary world; she was such a beautiful talent and I feel sad she is not in our world anymore. Anyway, this collection is absolutely marvellous, two of the stories – The Albanian Virgin and Carried Away – are stories I think about literally all the time. Can anyone ever say enough about Alice Munro? I know I can’t. I love her so much, and I am sad she is gone.
Capote’s Women. I have been fascinated by the story of Truman Capote and how he betrayed the high-society, uber-wealthy women who took him into their confidence for years. Side note: there is a TV show about this, the second season of Feud, which I haven’t watched but believe me, I will! Someday. I am not a good TV watcher. Anyway, I was excited about this book because it’s a pretty wild and fascinating story; there are some very juicy details about Babe Paley and Lee Radziwill, who I have been interested in since becoming obsessed with the book What Remains. Imagine being Capote, social climbing and being a bit of a wunderkind, and then writing a book that essentially is a lightly-veiled tell-all of these women’s lives, and then wondering why he became a pariah with them? Imagine being these women, whose whole job is just to keep marrying rich men? How could this book be anything but great? Well, I am sorry to tell you that I really disliked the matter-of-fact writing style and much of it was somehow dull and boring. Oh well.
In garden news this week, not only have we had many salads, but all my smoothies have been made with spinach from the garden and it is a life-changing event. I cannot even tell you how amazing they are. More amazing is that we have already had four ripe strawberries! The first one I photographed like one of my French girls, in several luscious positions. It was delicious.
I hope you all have a delicious week! With all my harvesting, I have been thinking a lot about food, and meal planning, and, most of all, desserts, so I’ll be sure to share all my Yummy Related Thoughts soon. xo
Loving all the good news, Nicole (goodbye to Baloo, Alice Munro rereads, spinach and strawberries fresh from the garden)! Boo to unflattering passport pics and the 101 specifications. I know how you look, and you are just lovely and radiant. Love the picture of Rex the giant fuzzy-wuzzy!
I’d love to hear some of the stories you’ve made up about the park bench someday!!
You are so sweet, thank you so much Maya!
That bench plaque is everything. My family better come up with something good. Honestly, don’t you want to meet Lloyd’s family? They obviously have a great sense of humor. I’m going to go pull out my Alice Munro short stories and reread them.
Oh totally, I keep thinking of whoever put that bench up, I want to be friends with.
Oh, I love a plaque with a bit of humor! Oof on the passport photo, though. Too shiny!??! All I focus on is glowiness in this season it seems. Weird fact: I have never had a passport; but it is on the list for my whole family this year so we can make go on an adventure next year and now I feel suitably warned about my skin prep for the picture day.
Oooh your first passport! That’s exciting! Take it from me: don’t be too glowy!
Sending all the positive thoughts for your passport journey today! I have to renew mine, but keep putting it off. Especially since, as you’ve now reminded me, I’ll have to have a picture taken (eeeeeeeek!) Btw, someone once told me that “shiny skin is youthful” so- I would take the whole thing as a compliment.
Ha, I love that plaque! We need more humor in everyday life. And… I can’t wait to hear more about all your delicious food!
Welp, my passport journey was only 50% successful – I have to go back today and I am SALTY about it!
I’m sure Baloo is better off not eating garbage and you are better off not worrying about bears. (I realize you are still worried, but maybe eventually?)
Good luck with the passports. And congrats on your gardening success. I’d be excited about homegrown strawberries, too. I love them so much.
Steph, they are SO good! Everything tastes so much better homegrown!
Nicole!!!! You are KILLING your to-do list! I am so thrilled!!!!!!!!!! What a difference a year makes, right?! You are in such a different place, in so many ways, than you were a year ago. So many happy changes and accomplishments.
The “you are too shiny” anecdote is hilarious in the telling, although I’m sure it was less hilarious to endure. Your natural glow is just impossible to suppress, I guess!
You are an inspiration to me, in so many ways, and your gardening prowess is but one. Hooray for strawberries! How are you protecting them from the birds and other critters? Also, do you have bear spray? My parents also live in bear country (well, in the summers only now) and never leave their house without it.
Suzanne, I do have bear spray but I’ve never used it. I hope I would actually use it properly if I need to! But I don’t carry it on our walks, there are usually a lot of people around so I don’t worry too much about that.
So far I haven’t had to net our strawberries, but probably will have to when it gets to be the season. They are in a fenced area which protects them from deer.
What a difference a year makes indeed!
I’m glad you are killing it! The story about your passport photo is hilarious, but probably was not too funny at the time. Knowing how cute you are in all your pics, it’s hard to believe you look like a sociopath, but then, I look like a serial killer in mine. It’s a miracle I’m allowed to travel.
Right? It is a miracle we are allowed to travel because we all look like we could snap at any moment in our photos!
The chocolate loaf cake looks sooooo yummy! I have never heard of a government photographer who complained about someone’s ‘look.’ That is just super rude, in my opinion. I find it hard to believe that a dewy glow would ruin a photo! Good grief!
My own passport photo is horrendous. I think because they told me not to smile, it makes me look like a psychopath. Also, not wearing my glasses, you can see the dark circles under my eyes. One benefit of glasses is the coverage!
I’m glad you haven’t seen any more bears, but I’m not much of a fan of coyotes, either. There are conflicting reports on whether they will attack small dogs or children here.
They definitely attack small dogs – a few have gone missing, and outdoor cats as well. I am not sure about children but I would be wary of leaving kids alone if I knew a coyote was around.
Ugh, I hear you on the photo!
Don’t let the door hit ya, Baloo! I know it’s a modicum of relief that he seems to be gone.
I have to go renew my driver’s license in a couple of weeks, so I feel your pain about the passport. Can’t the DMV and other places hire someone who is an actual photographer to take these pictures. My last license photo looked like I was an escapee from an insane asylum.
I love that plaque!
hahahaha escapee from an insane asylum! That’s how I feel too Gigi!
I’m imagining the story behind the bench, and thinking perhaps that Lloyd lived nearby and was annoyed by the noise of partygoers in the area after closing time? Teenagers getting drunk perhaps? People playing their music too damn loud?
My cousin and I were in San Francisco last year, wandering through a very densely populated (though quiet at the moment) neighborhood in the late evening, and saw a coyote, which was a surprise. I’ve had them follow me before, too, and it is very unnerving. I’m a bit surprised that they followed you with Rex barking, but I have heard of them attacking dogs. Maybe get a whistle or something LOUD to put on your key chain?
I didn’t know that Alice Munro had died, that is sad. 🙁 I love her short stories, they are so marvelous. Awhile ago, Engie was looking for suggestions for her summer book club, and that was one of my ideas. I think it would be great.
Somehow I got a passport photo that I don’t hate. I mean, it’s not flattering or anything, but I’ve definitely seen worse. I consider myself lucky in this.
The urban coyotes are not at all fazed by noise, J! It’s really something, they are bold as brass. I was yelling at it to go away, and Rex was barking, and it just sauntered down the sidewalk like it owned the place. Rex is bigger than a coyote, so that doesn’t worry me much…unless they were in a pack. I know for a fact that they do attack smaller dogs and outdoor cats. Whenever I see a small dog or cat is missing – here and back in Calgary – I immediately assumed that. My friend’s little dog was attacked by one right in front of her, can you imagine? Happily it was winter and the dog had a little coat on, so by the time my friend got it to leave the dog alone the coat was wrecked but the dog was okay.
Aw, Rex looks like a lover not a fighter, but I bet he’d go insane on a coyote given half the chance.
The family doc thing is SO stressful. My dad’s doctor is leaving and my mother is having a nervous breakdown over it.
The one line a day diary sounds really cool – diaries always stress me out because I can’t write enough and my hand cramps, but just one line would be enough to see what was happening but not enough to stress you out.
Oh boy, I’m sorry about your dad’s doctor. I was actually surprised we got one within the year, I envisioned myself four years down the road maybe getting one!
I like Lloyd. I wish I would have known him. THE PARK CLOSES AT 11. Was a grumpy old guy screaming at the youth? Or was he a guy who got a ticket for being at the park past close (probably smoking funny cigarettes, but I don’t really want to disparage Lloyd’s good name)? I need to know.
I audibly guffawed at you having to use blotting papers thrice. And my husband did the lifted eyebrow thing and I have to admit that explaining to him what was so funny made me sound so mean, like I was laughing at your expense, but I was really laughing at how unfair life is to our skin and how photography is sometimes unkind and in explaining all this I got defensive, but I still start laughing when I think about it. Maybe I am mean. *sigh*
Thank you so much for this glorious post, Nicole. I’m going to be chuckling all night over Lloyd and blotting papers.
I like Lloyd too, I love just thinking about him, and then whoever put the bench up in his name. What a legacy!
LIFE IS UNFAIR TO OUR SKIN INDEED. And I don’t know if there is a less kind photography than passport photography!
Ugh, passport renewal, such a hassle and the photos are always awful… execpt that the last time I had to renew (here in the US, not my German passport), I had the option to participate in the beta version for online renewal (how novel!) and – get that – was able to submit my own (!) photo. A photo I could take a gazillion times, if I wanted to, until it didn’t look like a mug shot (LOL)… there were some rules, of course, like it had to be in front of a white wall (never flattering), with good lighting (no shadows) and of course you aren’t really supposed to smile, but I got a decent photo and it was accepted. I was thrilled. Besides, doing online renewal was so convenient… I always had to send a big envelope with stuff before.
I am so glad Baloo is gone (for now, I hope he stays away) but totally get that you’re still cautious. I would be too. I am also very excited that you have a new doctor and dentist now. Important to have!
Love all the stuff from your garden. I didn’t plant anything this year, but I have a basil plant – that’s something.
I wish so much there was an online option! Sadly, there is not and I have to go back today to do more things – I got my husband’s and mine sorted, but I have to do more for the boys. Sigh.
Long time reader first time commenting…
What a relief the bear has moved on! Hopefully by fruit season Baloo will have just found a neighbourhood he prefers and just stay there.
May your Service Canada experience be smooth and easy! Any Service X place fills me with dread – you just never know what sort of experience you’ll get. Will it be fast and easy? Will it involve being told that a Canadian passport and citizenship certificate aren’t proof of legal status and ability to work in Canada so none of the family’s paperwork can be accepted? (True event involving Service NB and my husband.) Or trying to say that the guarantor on the passport application that was accepted for one child two weeks ago isn’t allowed for a different child because the employee is just having a moment?
Hi Maria, thanks so much for your comment. OF COURSE my experience at Service Canada was NOT smooth and easy, and I have to go back today. I am not excited about it. And as you foresaw, the passport and birth certificate for each of my kids was not enough – they needed to show their driver’s licenses. So I had to wait until they got home from work, photocopy them, and this morning I have to get my friend their guarantor to sign them. Why isn’t a passport enough? Who can say.
Awww, you dewy, glowy girl! I had to get a passport a few years ago, so I went to the official website and got all the info about what was required, where to go, etc. I showed up at the office with everything – except I needed to have an appointment!!! Of course the website didn’t mention that anywhere, and of course they couldn’t just squeeze me in. So I made an appointment and went back, and then found out that they don’t take credit cards or cash – only checks! What?! How is that even possible? So I had to make another appointment and go back again. I’m cranky just thinking about it!!
Michelle, I just screamed a little. I mean, what. WHAT??? That’s insane and it’s no wonder some people lose it in these offices.
You were too shiny? So funny. I now have REM’s Shiny, Happy, People running through my head. When we took the kids for passport photos at the post office about 9 years ago Mini behaved in a way that is still imitated by her brothers. This was when appointments were not accepted and arriving at the post office meant you had to hope and pray that the postal employees might decide to bless you with their time and bother to take your photo.
Mini is very ticklish, like to a fault. I swear she has some sort of disorder. Mind you, no one was touching her, but she was a giggling mess and could NOT sit still to have her photo taken. It was like us looking at her made her ticklish. The postal worker excused her from the seat multiple times and shoved a brother in the chair to take a successful photo. Then Mini would be rotated back into the line-up. She struggled so much to gain her composure. It was unbelievable.
Medical appointments and finding the right doctor and planning all of it can be so stressful. Add a move into that equation and I can only imagine how stressful that was. I’m glad that you have arrived here and that things are settled in this department.
Oh, Mini!
Shiny Happy People – that’s me! Except less happy after having to go BACK to the passport office a second time!
Gah, the picture taking of a passport photo is honestly the worst part of the whole process. It just feels like such a big TO DO and nobody wants to do it. My first passport photo came out really cute somehow, and when I renewed it a few years ago… let’s just say, the camera was not kind.
That bench plaque (<– I did have to google to make sure I was using this correctly. I was like, "Surely, plaque as a decorative item is spelled differently than plaque on your teeth!") is AMAZING. I need the whole story behind it!
A cute passport photo! It’s like a unicorn sighting!
I assume it is CAA you’re referring to and I did not know this about getting a discount on passport pictures. I took my daughter to Staples last week to get her picture and thought I remembered it being $15ish dollars. IT WAS $30! For a passport picture! I was astonished. But, it is what it is I suppose…
Fresh strawberries. How lovely! And I’m glad the bear has not been spotted again, though it seems like there is a lot of very wild wildlife in your area! I went for a run today at my parents’ property and last week they spotted a black bear. I ran with both eyes scanning the road and didn’t spot anything other than some squirrels, but I thought of you and your experience the whole time!
Elisabeth, it’s BCAA (used to be AMA when I was in AB) and the passport photos were $40 for all four of us!
Aieeee do NOT run into a bear! Yikes!
Coyotes can be alarming, but I believe they tend to stay out of our business. Crossing my fingers that remains the way it is with you, Rex and the coyotes.
I was watching the Capote show and somehow forgot about it after the first six episodes or so. His voice, well it grates me to no end.
Nicole, not having a Doctor and having so much up in the air at once is so unsettling and I can see why you were about to have a breakdown. I’m glad it all worked out! Girl, you made me laugh with all your dewiness! 😉
I think the coyotes will stay out of my way, but they’ve attacked a few little dogs and cats, so that’s unnerving! But I’m not really worried for me.
I DID ALMOST HAVE A BREAKDOWN! But here we are a year later and I’m still standing!
Genuine question: what is the reason for going to Service Canada instead of mailing in the passport renewals? (Are you on a tight timeline?) I have never gone to an office for a passport! Always just mailed them in!
It’s a good question! I don’t totally trust Canada Post, and I am always worried there will be a problem and it will get sent back to me. And it’s good I didn’t because there was an issue, omg, I had to go back today to deal with it. Sigh.
I guess I have just gotten lucky in my laziness then! 😅
I had passport photos taken last year and it was a SHOCKING reveal. Anyhow, the passport is now in a drawer and I won’t have to look at it ever again, but I KNOW that photo is in there. In another ten years until I can try again.
I have a five year journal as well, and it’s always fascinating to look back and see what past me was stressing about. Sometimes it’s something that has resolved itself and I think, “Well that wasn’t worth the heartache because everything turned out okay.” Sometimes it’s something that is still ongoing and I think, “Well, that’s isn’t worth the heartache because clearly nothing is going to change…”
Hahaha I am laughing at “shocking reveal” – girl, I feel you.
I love your attitude about your journal! Very few things are worth the stress, it seems.
That bench is lovely. It kind of reminds me of the bench in the movie, Notting Hill. There are benches along the lake I run around. I would much rather have a bench dedicated to my memory than a bunch of flowers at my funeral that will die. I know that’s a morbid thought but that’s where my mind went.
I am glad that Baloo seems to have moved on but it’s hard to shake that feeling of fear/anxiety! I’m glad you have other pretty places to walk with Rex but it’s a bummer that you’ve had to reset your routines.
I don’t know if I have read any Alice Munro! I should remedy that!!
I’d love a bench dedicated to my memory too!
Oh, I should have been more clear – Rex and I walk all sorts of different routes so we don’t get bored. This was just one of them!
I am cracking up that the photo people are critiquing your face as they are photographing you! I think I got my photos done at CVS last time and they could not care less about how I looked, except to tell me not to smile, so of course I look like a convict, but they never even mentioned the sheen of my face! Your guy really took it to the next level.
I think it’s part of the rules for Canadian passport photos. There can’t be any shadows or anything shiny, I guess. I’ve heard about babies getting their passport photos and having to get them retaken. For babies!
The park bench sign is classic. Lloyd Forest lives on in the best way possible.
I’m glad you’re taking a new walking route, but also am a bit wary of coyotes. Be careful.
As for your face being “too shiny” I cannot imagine a passport photographer around here even noticing, let alone saying that. All they care about is for you to take off your glasses and keep your eyes open. After that your sheen is your own business.
Ally, I like to take a few different routes so we don’t get bored with same old same old…and there is wildlife everywhere! I’m in a Lorne Greene’s New Wilderness episode.
There are a lot of rules around Canadian passport photos, with regards to shadows and – as I now find out – shine! Oh well, it’s done now!
First of all, Lloyd’s last name was Forest! Oh man, please write the book someone. 💚
Second, I have one of those One Line a Day books. Actually, I’m on my third one! I will be done with it at the end of this year. I’ve had to cover up the last few years as I write each day because they’ve been too painful to read.
Don’t get me started on government. My mom has had to deal with so much stuff since my dad’s death. Hopefully she will be done soon.
Your strawberry! I LOVE IT. (The cake, too!)
Oh, I’m so sorry about your painful times – it’s hard to read about them, but also a reminder that you’re still here, you’ve come so far.
Lol, this whole passport thing has been a bit of an ordeal, but it’s done now (I HOPE!)
finding medical care was the first thing I had to do when we moved to Jakarta, because all three of us got sick, probably due to water quality. it was stressful to navigate Medical care in a new city without proper review. It caused some scare but it also fast tracked me finding the right doctors. For now, we know who to call for what. I heard Canadian medical system is not very efficient, long waiting time, peril of public health care I guess.
I have 5 years journal but I don’t remember to write in some days. it’s my second year and I don’t review past year’s entry as much. maybe it will get better the third year as my memory is so sparse these days can’t even remember what I did last week.
Coco, you’re right – there are long wait times and we have a general practitioner shortage, so it’s very stressful. Everyone holds onto their doctors tightly when they get one! Navigating medical care is so stressful at the best of times, let alone in a new city.