I was thinking a lot about the last chapter in A Tree Grows In Brooklyn this week, when Francie goes back and looks at her neighbourhood, wanting to remember it just as it was. This week I was in Calgary again, for forty hours, and it was so interesting to see it from new, non-resident eyes.
Even for a short trip, there is just so much to do to prepare, isn’t there? My parents drove back through to spend the night in Kelowna on Monday, and then Tuesday was a flurry of laundry and groceries for my younger son for the week, and taking Rex in to the boarder’s. Before I move on, let’s just acknowledge that everyone with pets knows the particular and unique stress of leaving their beloved fuzzball behind. I will say that Rex has done great with boarding in the past, but this is a new place, and I follow this place on Facebook, and was a little bit stressed and anxious when there were photos of the various dogs posted but not one was Rex. He’s THERE, right? I said to my friend Jen (HI JEN) who graciously hosted me and my husband in her home. Like, if he was dead or gone or sick they would have told me, right? Like I’m not going to get there Saturday and they are going to say “Oh sorry, Rex isn’t here, he died.” She assured me that IN ALL LIKELIHOOD I would have received at least a text if something dire had happened. My husband suggested I call to check in, but my thinking is that one should not ask a question if one is not prepared for all the answers. If he wasn’t well, what was I going to do? Be stressed and tearful for the remainder of the trip? This felt like the recent time that a woman was at my house for a social event, and I casually threw out a you’re okay with dogs, right? as my big buffoon wagged wildly. No, not really, she said, at which point I was completely at an impasse. What to do? Don’t ask questions if you don’t want the answers. Anyway, with regards to the pet resort, I took some ujjayi breaths and assumed no news was good news, and in the end, that was absolutely the case.
But back to the trip. My sister-in-law drove me to the airport so that I arrived two and a half hours before my fifty minute, domestic flight was due to leave, on my request, because I am secretly this guy:
My husband, let the record show, thought this was an insane move on my part, particularly since my flight got delayed, but let me tell you, it was incredible. I was travelling by myself, with no one else’s schedule to accommodate, the dog was safely being cared for by someone else, and I had nothing to do but read for hours and eat at Subway. What could be better, I ask you? I think I was the least-stressed person in the entire airport, as I was completely untethered and without any obligations or commitments. The people seated next to me on the plane were nearly hysterical as they missed or were probably going to miss their connections, due to the delay, but I was as zen as could be. What is time, anyway?
My husband picked me up at the airport, and the city was gloomy and cold and drizzly, and it turns out that after two months in small-city, slow-paced Kelowna I was unused to the massive traffic snarls in Calgary, but still in my zen state I was completely unbothered. The next day, though, YYC pulled out all the stops. September in Calgary can be really beautiful; the leaves were as yet still on the trees and were beautifully golden, and the sky was so blue.
I had an entire day at my own disposal while my husband and friend were at work and her kids were at school; I went for a long walk, alternating between looking at the cute little shops in Kensington and the cute little old houses in Hillhurst Sunnyside. I would never want to live in a pre-war house, what with the newspaper insulation, wonky electricity, lead pipes, and complete lack of closet space, but I love looking at those houses and imagining the lives of the people in them. I especially enjoyed looking at all the lovely tiny yards with gardens, particularly one that was filled with gnomes.
My people!
It was just so incredible to have a day in which I had absolutely no responsibilities, no one to take care of, and nothing to do. I was able to write, and read, and walk, and I still had many hours of the day left. I don’t know if I can adequately describe how therapeutic this was for me, after months and maybe even years of just frantic doing-ness, but I was filled with pure joy and contentment. It was fun to see Calgary through non-resident eyes, but I will say that I found it a little emotional – I used to take the kids to that park! Remember the wading pool! They loved this playground! – and I think it’s easier, now that they are adults, to NOT be where they grew up. I felt very Landslide-y, which I do not feel much in my new home. Maybe it’s the bandaid-ripped-off concept of changing every single thing all at once.
Speaking of changing every single thing all at once, there was a very special reason that I was in Calgary, and that is that I was attending my husband’s retirement party! My husband officially retired last Thursday, and I nearly bought him a t-shirt reading “I tried to retire but now I just work for my wife.” NEARLY. Anyway, there was an amazing dinner for him, surrounded by his colleagues who I have gotten to know quite well over the years, and it was a really wonderful experience.
The next day we drove our hostess-with-the-mostess out to Banff, to meet up with her husband and spend the night before heading home. We had just the best time with our friends, having drinks and dinner and then more drinks, walking through Banff and browsing through little shops. These are our friends who are more like family, who I love so very much, and it was so great to spend time with them. It was also great being in Banff; the larches were changing, the temperature was crisp but not terribly cold, the mountains were show-off gorgeous, and we were staying in the beautiful Rimrock hotel, which in itself a treat.
The following morning we drove back to Kelowna, and I pretty much wanted to just collapse from exhaustion, but we had tickets with friends (HI SAMMI) to see a performance of The Piano Man and The Rocket Man that evening. I am SO glad we went, it was so much fun to see a tribute to two of my favourite performers, and Sammi had booked us tickets very close to the stage, which was just great. The two of us girls bonded by crying through Candle In The Wind, which I would have been much more stoic about had they not flashed images of Princess Diana on the screen. My girl! The people’s princess!
The rest of the weekend was mostly just spent getting my life organized and put back together, and also spending time with Rex, who was not dead and who also seemed to really enjoy his new pet resort, even if they didn’t flood their Facebook page with his photos. What a missed opportunity for them! His smiley face could have been the best free advertising ever.
Weekly Reading
The Dutch House. First of all, Ann Patchett. What can you say about Ann Patchett except that she’s an absolute gift to this world. What an incredible writer she is. This book is one of the most satisfying and wonderful reads I have ever experienced and you guys, that is saying something. It’s an absolutely perfect book. It’s about family and home, the complexity of relationships and the responsibilities we take on. It’s about forgiveness, and rage, and how people change and yet somehow stay the same. I am absolutely uplifted by this book and also astonished at the sheer genius and quality of the writing. This was a work of art, and is everything I love about books.
It has, obviously, been a very action-packed, busy, fun-filled week, and I am looking forward to a calmer and probably more productive week. I hope you all are enjoying this beautiful month of September. xo
We took in my mom’s dog a few years ago and poor Bella had never been boarded. It took us a number of years to finally try, but we did so this past April. I was a WRECK! What if she was miserable? What if she became 10 pounds of fury and attacked another dog? What if she was the dog the workers rolled their eyes at?!?! They had a webcam feed for each of the differently sized dogs play areas and I made my guy scour it on his phone every afternoon looking for some sign of life; I honestly think he found a black and white speck and just told me Bella was having a good time to get me to stop HAHA! We picked her up and, besides the fact she did not eat while we were gone, she was perfectly fine. All that to say, I get the Rex stress and I’m so glad both of you had a lovely time!
Thanks so much, Lindsay! You really do understand!
Congratulations on your husband’s retirement! You really are ripping the band aid off and changing everything all at once. It can be hairy to do that but also kind of good because – then it’s all over and new things can begin. Exciting! I am glad Calgary didn’t stay drizzly for you and showed some beauty: it really can go either way in September, sometimes all in one day! 😉
Thanks Anna, it was just a perfect Calgary day – and I know how rare that can be!
As soon as you mentioned dropping Rex off at the boarder’s I felt my stomach clench in fear. It would be so hard to leave him! And yes, I would have had the same thoughts when I didn’t see any photos of him. Well, glad he ended up enjoying the whole experience!
Yes, I know that feeling of freedom when- for a dramatic change- no one is expecting you to do anything. It happens to me too when I travel alone. Taking a flight without kids is SO RELAXING. I mean you just sit there while someone else does all the work! And your day in Calgary sounds incredible. What a nice occasion- congratulations to your husband.
Thanks Jenny! And, exactly, it is SO relaxing to just…fly. With no one to report to!
Nicole–your panic about Rex and the zen airport experience with Subway made me think we were twinning yet again. I understand both modes so intimately. Congratulations on your hubs’s retirement and your day of leisure and that Banff stay–that part all looks so perfect and peaceful.
I remember loving _The Dutch House_ especially since it seemed to rework some Jane Eyre themes…. Did you get that vibe at all?
Jane Eyre! I didn’t, but now that you say that, I can see why. I didn’t even think of it though!
We are twins! Zen and panic twins! Lol!
Congratulations! How lovely to embarking on such a delightful new chapter
Thanks Sarah!
I loved The Dutch House! I just went to see Ann Patchett talking with Cheryl Strayed about Ann’s new book, Tom Lake. I can’t wait to read it. Ann is one and of my idols for the writing life I want to live.
Laura, ME TOO. She’s just so talented.
What a week!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am like you that I want to be at the airport EARLY. Otherwise it’s just too stressful. You know how I feel about a day in a city where I don’t live where my only task is to have me time – heaven! And also yes to not asking questions when the answer might not be good and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I’m thinking about taking a look at The Dutch House. I keep hearing about Ann Patchett, but the one book that I tried to read was a quick DNF.
Thanks so much, Birchy! I think I need to do that more, and take a page from your book. IT WAS SO GREAT!
Was it Commonwealth? Because I did not like that book at all.
Was it Run? Because I like Ann Patchett a lot, but was only meh about Run.
The airport time + solo day sound all just wonderful! I can totally see how viewing where you used to live through new eyes would give you all sorts of feelings. Congrats to your husband- what a fun, exciting, new time for you all!
Thanks so much, Kae!
I lovvvvved The Dutch House. I am currently reading The Magician’s Assistant, and I love it so much, and I feel like something bad might happen, and with Ann Patchett IT REALLY MIGHT.
Oooh, Swistle, I have not read that one! I will look it up right now!
One time we boarded poor Zelda the Cat. She was very unhappy and apparently she was hissing and scratching at the people and they couldn’t change her litter or water. I got the phone call and there was literally nothing I could do about it. I feel like your approach of don’t call because there’s nothing I can do is the right approach! (She has not been boarded since. Obviously.)
I always want to be at the airport early, too. You never know what might come up in terms of parking, security, or whatever. Am old. Am neurotic. Am a nervous traveler.
Awww, poor Zelda! Rex was fine – and always has been fine – being boarded, but every time I get a little worried.
I think it’s better to be prepared, time-wise, in the airport department! Delays can really ruin things.
My dad always insisted we get to the airport 2 hours early and this was in the 70s and 80s when absolutely no one did this. I guess I could only have gone two ways with this upbringing: also only feel comfortable if I get to the airport extremely early or be happy only if I ran onto the plane at the last second. Well, I’m the former. I prefer to arrive well in time and relax (particularly when flying alone).
Also it’s not exactly the same, but I had a similar experience this summer in Boise. Youngest’s soccer team had a nearly week-long tournament there and while I don’t usually go to travel tournaments, this one coincided with a lull at work so I went and stayed by myself in a hotel and did nothing (other than watch a soccer game a day) but wander the city. It was delightful. The weather was perfect, the city is mainly flat, and it has two college campuses and is bisected by a lovely river. It was so nice to walk around the city on my own with no fixed destination or plan for several days. By the time the tournament was over I was ready to go home but it was such a nice, relaxing few days!
Oooh that sounds REALLY nice, Maggie! A whole week! Of just chilling! It’s perfect.
The thought of being in lineups, stressed about making the flight, getting through security – NO THANK YOU. I’d rather get to the airport hours ahead of time.
I saw your photos on IG so I knew what was up with you. Congratulations of your husband’s retirement. It’s been one year since Z-D retired, and nothing has been the same except we’re at the same address… unlike you two adventurers.
Thanks Ally! I wonder how things will go now that my husband doesn’t have work and the related stresses. Time will tell! I shall report back.
Congrats to the husband for the retirement. How exciting. You sure have made a 180 in all-things. The time away sounds delightful. We haven’t done it for awhile, but I do enjoy traveling with Coach when he goes somewhere warm to teach a class in the dead of winter. Having time to wander the city, or write, or read by a pool and then dinner out with Coach after his class. So relaxing, except for the time when Reg started puking while we were away and he was at his friend’s house and my mom had to go pick him up and she couldn’t figure out how to work the remote at our house. That one was not my favorite.
I laughed at the gnome yard, for gnomes only, no less.
I can only imagine the Rex stress and why didn’t they put a photo of the world’s cutest dog on their site? It would’ve gotten a lot of attention, I’m sure.
I’ve already finished reading all of the book club books for this year, so I might give Ann Patchett a try. Do you suggest starting with a specific book, if I haven’t read any of her books before?
After being away two weekends in a row to visit two kids at their respective colleges, I’m looking forward to a weekend at home.
I really like Ann Patchett but there are a couple of books I didn’t love. I absolutely love her book of essays, These Precious Days. I also love Bel Canto and now The Dutch House.
Enjoy your weekend at home! You’ve been on the go!
Every time I visit your blog, I feel a small connection to you. You had me at ujjayi breaths. Also, I’ve had people come to my house who don’t necessarily like my dogs, which stresses me out. A lot. That was something I felt deep down.
I am also OVERLY early for flights. I like the idea of sitting far away from my gate, reading, eating, and knowing that I don’t need to be stressed because my flight isn’t for hours.
Such an exciting time for you and your husband. Congratulations to the both of you. Enjoy! 😘🖤
Awww, thanks Kari! I love that we have this connection! I feel like most people that I know like dogs, particularly Barkley and then Rex, so I was really taken aback. Like…what do I do now? In the end I did kind of nothing but Rex seemed to sense she didn’t really want him around her, so he just went and hassled other people for pets.
Also – exactly! I can do nothing at home or I can do nothing at the airport while being completely calm, so I choose airport!
I am glad all was well with Rex at the boarder. Not seeing him in person is kind of like how I felt when Will’s daycare had an apple tasting contest last week and they posted a picture of the votes and Taco wasn’t listed. I was like – where is he? Did he revolt against taking a fruit he loves? It came up when Phil did pick up and the teacher felt TERRIBLE. I really did not care – I was like like, huh, where’s Taco’s vote. Also, these toddlers/preschooler like Red Delicious apples better than granny smith and HONEYCRISP. What in the world! I get that granny smith is NOT great for the toddler/young child set. But the world is going to hell in a handbasket is soft, mushy red delicious overwhelmingly are the favored apple. That is all.
I loved The Dutch House, too. I just adore Ann Patchett so very much.
Wait, now we must know, what would Taco vote for? And why wasn’t his vote counted??? Red delicious is the worst apple in my opinion, I am a big fan of the good old McIntosh. In fact, I might just go eat one right now!
I do not know what happened or how he was missed during the initial voting! He was in the picture of the kids with their apple slices. They did add him after the fact and he voted for red delicious. Ugggghhh. I like Mackintosh, too. We had a mackintosh tree in the yard of my childhood home. It’s such a satisfying apple!
And I forgot to say congrats to your husband on his retirement! I am glad he had such a nice send off. Sometimes it’s kind of anticlimactic. Like you are just done and that is it.
Congrats on the retirement!!! You really are switching it all up at once.
EVERYTHING AT ONCE seems to be my motto these days, Gigi! Thanks!
What does a vegan eat at Subway? Wondering because the only thing I can get there is a cheese sub.
I’ve heard good things about The Dutch House.
I’m glad you had a nice, if quick trip, and that Rex was no worse for the wear when you got home.
Steph, I’m glad you asked. I have been getting the same exact sub every time I have gone to Subway since…the beginning of time? Veggie delight with no cheese, but smashed avocado. Lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers, pickles, mustard, and house dressing. Every single time!
I’ve not boarded our dogs, but even leaving them home with a sitter makes me a bit uneasy. Will they know they’re loved every.minute.of.the.day?
I agree, Rex could have put the boarding place On The Map!!
Congratulations to your husband!! This is huge. So many new, exciting things for your family this year.
Thanks Suz! It’s very exciting.
See, that’s what I wondered about a sitter – at least being boarded, there are dogs to play with. Also, Barkley loved his “resort” where they had a turn-down service with extra cookies. It’s so stressful though, no matter how good the boarding is!
I have the clearest memory of going to the airport to fly to New York City for BlogHer in 2012 and the plane was delayed and people were so mad and I was just sitting there thinking ‘y’all don’t have kids at home, do you?’ because I had a book and a tea and I was so happy and relaxed.
Sounds like an amazing weekend. I agree the boarding place should have stuck Rex’s fuzzy face everywhere, but I’m glad he was alive when you got back.
You know how I feel about Ann Patchett. *rapturous sigh*
I so wish I was on that trip!!!
There’s something so great about travelling alone, with no one to answer to. So relaxing!
That sounds like a wonderful trip, especially the zen experience of not worrying about anyone or anything. Congrats to your husband on his retirement!! My hubby is trying to hold out till age 65, but we shall see.
I adored The Dutch House. In fact, the scene in the book where the brother and sister sit outside the house in the car smoking is something that has really stuck with me. I think the realism of it resonated with me, because it’s something I would have done (minus the ciggies).🤣
YES, although, back in the nineties I would have done exactly that (bad Nicole!). It was just such a great book!
And thank you! I’m excited for our next chapter.
Oh my goodness, THE GNOME GARDEN!!! I’m going to need one of those now! You’re on a wonderful new chapter in your life, and it sounds like you’re already enjoying it so much! And I’m so glad you share your stories so I can enjoy it with you!
Michelle, I took that photo and thought of you!!! There were too many gnomes to even photograph!
The Dutch House is soooo good (I thought Hello Beautiful was actually a similar book in terms of the style); I really should re-read it again.
Those gnomes?! It’s practically worth moving to Calgary just for that display.
Rex is gorgeous and I 100% get the worrying about not getting news.
Congrats to your husband and I’m so glad you were able to have such a fun trip. You deserve it and I love that you got to exhale and just…be…after SO much chaos and confusion the last few years with COVID, moving, and the ever-present stress of PEOPLE NOT PUTTING SHOPPING CARTS AWAY.
I knew you loved The Dutch House and I was thinking of you! It’s just so good.
Lolololol I love how you equate the shopping cart thing with Covid and moving! IT’S TRUE!!!
I think that as I get my own gardens in gear, I need to make a gnome-only zone (with the exception of me, of course)
You totally should have gotten your husband that shirt! He could have worn it to the party! 🙂 Congrats to him; that is a great milestone — what do you guys have planned now that he is done working? I am very curious because I always wonder if I would get bored or if it would be everything I ever imagined.
I really like Ann Patchett, but there are a few of her books that I did not love as much. The first book I read was Bel Canto, way back in the day and then I don’t think I read another until maybe 6 or 7 years ago and it was This is The Story of a Happy Marriage (memoir/non-fiction) and I loved it. She is a real person, who is witty and has had issues with her husband! I kind of felt more kindred toward her after that. The Dutch House was good and I just got Tom Lake off of hold so I have high hopes for it, but I did not love Run or The Magician’s Assistant quite as much as some of the others.
Sadly, I saw that shirt in a shop in Banff AFTER the party! So many people have asked if he will be bored and I’m pretty sure the answer is no. He is a person with lots of interests and hobbies and so I’m sure he’ll fill his days. Also we are planning to travel, so lots of interesting things on the horizon.
There is always SO much in your blogs!! Your trip to Calgary sounds perfect. I also love a day alone to just wander a city. You are my husband’s twin for airport arrival and of course I roll with it. We once arrived at a tiny airport in Florida an hour before it opened. That was interesting, sitting on the curb in the dark at 5 am. Earlier this year we were the only ones at the gate for quite some time. We have Nexus/preferred travelers so get through security quite quickly, but as he says ‘you just never know’. So load up my kobo, and enjoy a huge coffee while I make fun of him. Congrats on your husband’s retirement and the next chapter – so exciting! There is a house near our cottage with a huge lawn with an actual gnome village they created over the years. She’d get gnomes for gifts and her husband built little churches, schools, parks, bridges etc. Amazing. They are an elderly couple that love when we bring guests, esp littles and they give us the whole tour with stories for every gnome. Sadly we didn’t see them at all this summer, I’m hoping they are ok.
Hahahaha I totally relate and can see myself getting to the airport before it opened. At least it was Florida and warm? Presumably? We also have Nexus but the Kelowna airport doesn’t always have a dedicated line…that said, it’s a tiny airport so it’s not really too bad.
A GNOME VILLAGE. This is GOALS.
Oh, I know that panicky feeling of leaving your pet with someone else and not knowing how they are doing! I have a cat sitter check on my girls once a day when I’m gone, and sometimes I’d have to check in with her to make sure they were still alive, even though she probably would have texted me if she came to cat-sit and found a dead cat, right??? MAYBE. I also get stressed out that the key I’ve given her won’t work for some reason, and then I go through a whole spiral of what she would do/how long the girls could last without someone checking in/etc. IT’S FUN IN MY BRAIN.
I’m glad Rex was A-OK and having too much fun to worry about pictures. 😉
And congrats on your husband’s retirement! What a cool milestone!
He was definitely A-OK! But NEXT TIME TAKE A PHOTO PLEASE, KENNEL. But yes, pretty sure we’d be notified if one of our pets DIED. Like, I’m sure they would share that information!
Wow, you really are changing everything at once… happy retirement to your husband. Does this really mean retirement or just retirement from his current job? (I am asking because retirement in the US does not really mean what retirement means in Germany – haha, so I am just clarifying ;)) He’s quite young to retire isn’t he? (Although what is retirement age these days anyway? People retire at any age these days and I am thrilled that this is possible for your husband!
Either way, it sounds like a lovely time in Calgary and Banff with friends to celebrate the occasion! 🙂 And I am just very glad that everything was ok with Rex. I won’t deny that I would have been quite worried to not see him on pictures posted by the pet resort – they clearly missed out on the opportunity for great advertisement – and a side hustle stream of income for you because of Rex the dog model. Hehe).
It’s retirement retirement! He’s a bit on the young side at 58, but we know some who have retired at 55 so he’s over that!