Interprovincial Woman of Mystery
I did not realize how mysterious and secretive I have been with regards to my new city, and it certainly isn’t a mystery or a secret: this Calgary Girl is going to morph into an Okanagan Girl. We are moving to Kelowna, BC, which is in the heart of Western Canada’s fruit and wine country, and is also home to the world famous Ogopogo!
My husband grew up in Kelowna, and hilariously recalls a friends’ family who claimed to have seen the Ogopogo themselves, while boating on the lake. This made them briefly locally famous, as they were on the six o’clock news talking about seeing the creature in the wake of the boat. It is probable that this exposure on the news gave their family business a much-wanted boost, which seems very quaint now. Remember the days when one would wait until the six o’clock news to find out something that happened in the world, and if you missed it, you had to wait another five hours or even until the paper was delivered the next day to catch up? And if you knew someone who was on the news, or maybe you yourself were interviewed for a human interest segment or breaking story, it was an incredibly exciting and special thing? Now we just all have social media and, perhaps, blogs or newsletters, and anyone across the globe can know minutia of our lives at any given time, but then, well, then an alleged Ogopogo sighting meant the six o’clock news and could be discussed lo these forty years later.
Whether or not the Ogopogo exists in reality – it exists in all our hearts, I’m sure – this is where I will be hanging my hat, so to speak. Or, stacking my boxes. Ernie (HI ERNIE) guessed correctly that our vacation home will now be our home; it is a beautiful house in a beautiful place, and you can all expect many stories as I get settled into my new life.
This Might Make You Grimace
Speaking of quaint things like the days with a non-24-hour-news-cycle, I heard something incredibly disturbing recently that will resonate with all of us who grew up in North America in the 80s. It has to do with the McDonaldland characters. Now, growing up, we were not a family who really ate McDonalds food – we were more Dairy Queen people, or, for extremely fancy occasions, Swiss Chalet patrons – but I did not live under a rock, and I did attend many a birthday party at McDonalds, so I was well aware of all the characters in the McDonaldland universe. Most of these characters made sense to my childhood brain: a clown, a mayor whose head was an actual cheeseburger, giant sentient French fries, a crazed criminal who craved hamburgers. And then there was Grimace, a giant purple puff who, I guess, liked milkshakes a lot. His existence didn’t make a whole lot of sense, but he was cute, and that counts for pretty much everything for a young girl in 1982 who loved everything Muppets, Smurfs, and anything else that was cute but didn’t make a whole lot of sense.
This week, this very week, I learned that Grimace – that amiable purple puffball – was modeled after a taste bud.
Words cannot describe my revulsion at this discovery. Imagine the actual board meeting of creative executives coming up with this idea. I know what will bring the kids in! Listen, kids love a cuddly creature. You know those bumps on your tongue that allow you to differentiate multiple flavours? Hear me out. A cuddly lovable creature that IS one of those bumps. Upon seeing the expressions on the faces after this idea was on the giant piece of paper on the easel, used for brainstorming: YES. And we shall name it Grimace.
I mean, I have so many questions. First of all, how was such an idea conceived? I can only imagine that the McDonalds advertising creative dropped LSD one night and spent the subsequent twelve hours staring into the mirror at his own tongue, waking up the next day with the feeling of mind expansion and the idea that yes, a giant sentient taste bud could be a beloved character in the McDonaldland universe. Not only was this idea conceived, but it was also approved. It was approved! By, I am assuming, high level creative marketing executives. Going back to the board meeting where the executives were all grimacing from the grossness of making a mascot based on a gustatory cell, which would, appropriately, be named Grimace, someone in that meeting, someone very high up on the McDonalds marketing ladder championed this and approved it for mass consumption.
What a world we lived in, back in the 80s.
Wool of Fortune
I loved Wheel of Fortune back in the 80s, and I am sure I would love it now if I ever remembered that it still exists and that I can indeed watch it. Or, more accurately, that I wasn’t halfway to coma-land after dinner, which is Reading Time for me and Watching Shows about Gold Mining in the North Time for my husband. Something that I learned recently is that Vanna White, glorious co-host of our beloved game show for the past forty years, is an avid knitter. Ms. White loves her fibre art and in fact, has an entire Vanna White-branded yarn.
This amazes me. If I were asked what Vanna White’s most-loved hobby was, I am not sure I would come up with knitting if I had one hundred guesses. I told my husband and he thought it would take a thousand guesses. In any case, I am charmed by this and mentioned it to my yoga ladies a few weeks ago, and one of them said she was not surprised as it is well known that Ms. White makes her own clothes. What. I am pretty sure she doesn’t make the clothing that she wears on Wheel of Fortune, as there always seems to be a clothing sponsor mentioned at the end of each show, or so I remember, but I like to think about her knitting herself a sweater to slip on with a cute little skirt she whipped up on her Singer. Or maybe just popping over to Fabricland to see what’s new.
Someone once asked me why I read so many memoirs, including celebrity memoirs, and it is because of things like this. I am endlessly curious about other people’s lives, particularly the minutia of other people’s lives, and knowing that Vanna White is a knitter and sewer makes me love her even more. Also, you never hear anything bad about Vanna White so I am assuming she is an angel on this earth, doing good and lighting up letters.
We’re Going To Have A Problem Here
I usually listen to 70s on 7 in the car, shoutout to Suz (HI SUZ), my fellow 70s on 7 aficionado, but sometimes I’ll flip channels to 80s on 8, 90s on 9, and Pop 2K. And what I am going to say probably circles back to my dislike for books with f*ck in the title – JUST SAY FUCK OR DON’T – but a minor pet peeve of mine is when songs are radio edited. I know. I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me, I already know that there is a reason for this, that we are protecting the ears of the youth of North America, if I want to hear unedited hard core hip hop I can listen to the Rock the Bells channel, I KNOW. But it still bothers me to hear a little bleep or a whoosh or what have you. This is mostly a problem with Pop 2K – it certainly isn’t on 70s on 7 – and some songs are so edited that there are barely any lyrics at all. I’m looking at you, Eminem.
I was in the car and The Real Slim Shady came on and I realized that the word “clitoris” was edited out, but the line about being cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes was not. As I said, I don’t like radio edits at all, but why would a mention of a body part be edited, but not a grossly violent act? Well, I guess because it’s a woman’s body part, living in the patriarchy, etcetera.
Omg you guys, what if someone created a mascot based on a clitoris? If it could happen for a taste bud it could happen for a clitoris! Maybe this has already happened, how much do we know really about the California Raisins?
Weekly Reading
Beauty Sick. I picked this up because Val Monroe mentioned it in her excellent newsletter, How Not To Fuck Up Your Face. It’s a well-researched, well-written book about the toxicity of the beauty industry and media; it was published in 2017 so I would say none of the ideas in here are new or astounding, but it’s a good read nonetheless. It got me thinking about the messages we were all bombarded with, growing up, and how we can change that for the next generation of girls.
We Are Not From Here. Stephany (HI STEPHANY) recommended this and I’m glad she did! It’s a moving account of three teens fleeing gang violence in Guatemala for the US. They travel on La Bestia, the dangerous train across Mexico, then on foot towards the border. It’s fiction but is based on the horrific real-life stories of children travelling on their own, hoping for compassion and safety. It’s a YA novel, which I didn’t know going in, and I find lately, at 48, I really empathize with the parents in YA novels. After all, the children are younger than my youngest, which is a sad and despairing thought. How lucky I feel to be born where I was and to not face such deadly decisions.
The Summer Place. This author is hit or miss with me, but this was definitely a hit! What a romp this was, with multiple viewpoints and characters, massive family drama, scandalous secrets, and a heartwarming ending. This takes place during the pandemic and shows the fissures that developed in families through being disconnected or being TOO connected – i.e., what happened during lockdown when everyone was together ALL THE TIME. I was nodding along constantly. Anyway, this was a very fun read with interconnected characters and stories, and I loved it. A couple of interesting notes about the matriarch of the story: she made a ton of money in the 80s because she had written and sold the movie rights to a couple of books. The matriarch wanted to be a “serious” writer, but she ended up being a “commercial” one, and I wondered if that was the author’s actual lived experience. Another note, and this was fun to read after The Paper Palace, which also took place in Cape Cod, is that the matriarch, who is Jewish, discusses the original WASPy owners of summer homes. She describes the homes as falling apart cottages with owners who throw parties with “oceans of booze and only Ritz crackers and supermarket cheddar to eat” AND THIS IS EXACTLY THE DESCRIPTION IN THE PAPER PALACE. The supermarket cheddar stood out as a detail. I am not a part of the Cape Cod summer community so I wondered – is this a thing? Anyway, I loved this book, it was such a fun summery read.
Here we are, in the last week of June, ALREADY! The first of my daylilies is in bloom, the weather has moderated itself, there are boxes everywhere, and I have been busily trying to see as many people as possible before the big move. I’m heading to my parents’ for a few days for the Canada Day holiday, so it’s going to be a busy and social week for me. I hope you all have a beautiful week. xo
OK so do you remember that a major plot point of the South Park movie was Stan getting obsessed with the clitoris and wondering what / where it was? And then he ended up talking to a giant sentient clitoris at one point?
What. WHAT. I never saw that movie and that is fascinating. Did it look like a California raisin?
I had a vision of you hanging your literal hat on the Ogopogo’s horns…
Kelowna sounds lovely, Nicole, I hope you’re very happy there with the extra sun and vineyards :)!
The post you linked to was also very lovely, and I remembered that sweet story about your FIL and the field of chicory…
Thanks Maya! It’s got a gorgeous climate so I’m pretty excited!
Fun Fact: we have the McDonalds character glasses from the 80’s still and a towel with all the characters. They were my husband’s and McDonald’s was his first job. My teen took the towel to the pool last week and another little girl told her how much she loved it. I guess these characters are timeless?! You are doing great with all the moving things!
That’s amazing, I had no idea kids would know/ like the McDonaldland characters! Too funny!
Moving to your vacation home!!!! I can’t wait to see more glimpses of Kelowna and learn about it through you.
I would read a lot more celebrity memoirs if they had interesting tidbits like Vanna White knitting and making her own clothes. I feel like she and Pat Sajak just have life figured out and we can learn a lot from them.
Did you know Pat Sajak used to be an LA weatherman before he was on Wheel? I love knowing little things like that.
I feel lucky that I’ve been to the Okanagan! I flew into Kelowna when I visited my dear friend (who I am meeting up with in Calgary in July) in Kamloops way back before I was married/before we had kids. It’s such a gorgeous area!!
So we are hard core Wheel of Fortune fans! It comes on at 6:30 for us so we watch it after dinner and then Will goes to bed when it’s over. Both of our kids have loved it and I think it has helped with letter recognition. They get excited when their names are in a puzzle and Paul has very strong feelings about when people land on the wedge that could be a bankruptcy or $10k. He is NOT a risk taker so it always saying “don’t do it, don’t do it!” and then feels very vindicated when it’s a bankruptcy! I did not know that Vanna was a knitter. That is so very endearing.
I’ll have to read that Jennifer Weiner book. She is also hit or miss for me.
I love that you watch Wheel with your kids. What a fun thing to do! And educational too, I’m sure.
The Okanagan is absolutely beautiful! I’m excited you know it!
Oh yes, us yarn people are very familiar with “Vanna’s Choice” yarn which you can buy at your favorite big box craft store. For what it’s worth, it’s not very good yarn (plastic). Look at me, such a yarn snob! Um I had no idea that Grimace was a taste bud. In fact I never questioned what he was. I learn so much from your blog! Also, you may enjoy a newsletter on Substack called “The Unpublishable” which is all about the beauty industry.
Oh interesting! I know nothing about yarn or yarn quality. I am going to check out that substack, thanks for the recommendation!
I went back to re-read the entry about your vacation home, and was much struck by this line: “I haven’t really been running long distances; I just haven’t felt like it, and I am at the point in my life where I am not going to do things that I don’t feel like doing.” Yes! It’s such a freeing feeling, isn’t it? I don’t want to do that thing, and I don’t have to. (Unfortunately does not apply to going to the dentist, but you can’t have everything.)
It IS a freeing feeling! In fact, if I’m being honest I haven’t ran since Rexie came into my life. I get enough cardio with Peloton, and I needed to “save” my steps for my giant puppers. I don’t even miss it!
Nicole! Did you learn about Grimace the Tastebud on Couple Friends? Are you ALSO a Couple Friends listener in addition to being an Alison person?
Welcome to BC soon! (We live in the Lower Mainland! And I spent my teen years in Calgary, not sure if I’ve mentioned that, and my family all lives NW of the city — Airdrie, Cochrane.)
Ariana, I thought I heard about it on ARIYNBF, but maybe one of her guests was from Couple Friends? In any case I am downloading a Couple Friends and will report back! I feel we are on the same page, podcast wise.
Yay, we will be practically neighbours 🙂 Well, four-hour drive neighbours. I am so excited that you spent your teen years in Calgary. I didn’t know that! And of course I have friends in Airdrie and Cochrane too. Small world!
Ooh yes, they did talk about it on ARIYNBF as well, I recall that now. Couple Friends is Jenna and Al’s podcast; they were regulars on ARIYNBF from probably 2014-2017 (I’d need to fact check that) until they moved to Georgia. They’re very fun, and I particularly enjoy them because they are in the same season of life as my family — 4 little kids (3, almost 4 for them) and all the wildness that comes with that!
Thanks so much for the recommendation!!
I had only recently learned of the Grimace tidbit. AND I worked for McDonald’s for two years. I have a lot of McDonald’s stories. I should write a couple of posts about it.
Vanna White and knitting shocked me. I don’t know why.
I used to love Jennifer Weiner’s books, but the longer she writes, the less I like her writing. It’s just meh.
I can’t wait to see your new home. I know you shared a few pictures before, but I can’t wait to see you living in it! ❤️
Ooooh I’d love to hear some McDonalds posts! I myself worked at Pizza Hut throughout high school!
I would love to hear those stories! We used to go to Pizza Hut every Friday night after the football games!
I got a HI ERNIE – day made! 😉 I remember you saying that the renovations on your summer house were happening because you would be moving there to retire. I don’t think I cracked a code or anything, but I do remember that being mentioned. I’m excited for you to move to this area with a better climate. I can google it ,but I’m wondering how far you will be from Calgary – like how easy or difficult will it be to come back to Calgary to visit?
I died laughing at the raisin comparison. I had no idea that character was based on a taste bud – so weird.
I agree, I would never have guessed that Vanna was a knitter. I enjoy memoirs too. Life can be so interesting – regardless of whose it is. Good luck with the move and enjoy your long weekend.
Ernie, it’s an eight hour drive through the mountains to get back to Calgary, but it’s a one-hour flight. So we probably won’t travel much in winter, as the roads are very unpredictable at that time of year. It’s a long haul for sure.
Wow! That is quite a move. I just mapped it out because I’m a bit, errrr, bad at Canadian geography. I can’t wait to hear all about your adventures in your new place!
I was at a graduation party a couple of weekends ago and the teenagers definitely know the McDonaldland characters here in the States. There was much discussion about who was the creepiest/ most fun! I don’t know about little kids, though, since the characters don’t seem to be playing as big a role in the marketing anymore.
It’s a really big move!
I would have probably thought Ronald was the creepiest because of the clown factor, but the taste bud thing has me rethinking everything.
I just google mapped you and wow! That’s a significant move! Congratulations! I hope it’s going smoothly. I had no idea Grimace was modeled after a tastebud. Super bizarre! I’d forgotten all about him except that he’s been all over social media lately because it was his birthday? I listen to Danny Pelligrino’s podcast and he was asking where the love is for that aviator McDonald’s bird! LOL!
I enjoy celebrity memoirs, too. I’ve had a post about some of them on the back burner for about six months now. I’ll get to it eventually.
It is a very significant move! It’s long-haul, baby.
Oh, Birdy! She was the breakfast mascot, I think!
Cannot WAIT to see the memoir post!
Oh, my goodness, this post cracked me up completely! Thank you for several good laughs! It never occurred to me as a kid to wonder what Grimace actually was. I just thought he was some kind of monster, I guess. McDonalds isn’t generally my favorite, but one time in an airport I was starving, and my burger, fries, and shake tasted like the best food in all the world!
Your vacation home/new home looks amazing! I can’t wait to hear about all your adventures there!
Grimace is some kind of monster…A TASTE BUD MONSTER OMG
You know, sometimes you just need predictability in your food, and I can totally support your airport McDonalds meal!!!
I had so many favorite lines in this post that I cannot post them all or I would be replicating the post which seems… silly. But this was full of FUN FACTS and also sidesplitting commentary. You are a delight. I am delighted to know about the Ogopogo and Vanna White’s sewing habit. Less delighted but still wholly fascinated about the Grimace situation and now I am thinking about the California Raisins in a whole new way. Happy packing, Nicole! I am thinking of you, and how I will be you in a few weeks/months, and I am so excited for you while holding space for all the Multitude of Feelings that a big change like this one bring into a life! xxxooo
Lol, I was cleaning out my cupboard today and stared a little too long at the Mason jar of raisins.
I’m so excited for you, Suzanne!!! And also, if you need to commiserate, I am here for you because whoa nelly, it’s a lot of work!!! I’ve had a super-productive day today though, so that’s something.
Well, Nicole…that fact about Grimace was certainly a bombshell of info that I did not expect to learn about today! Now it is seared into my brain forevermore. While it’s wild to think that marketing geniuses came up with using a character modeled after a tastebud; it’s even wilder to think that we, as children, just kind of rolled with all…never questioning any of it.
I live but to serve, Gigi, and now you can never UN-know that fact!
I was just thinking the other day how having a birthday party at McDonald’s was a huge thing when I was growing up (Or Burger King, like I did for some reason…). I don’t know if that’s still a thing these days? My kids certainly haven’t been invited to any and it actually seems like such an odd choice to me today. I guess I never did think about whether *any* of the McDonald’s characters made sense as a child… they were just kind of there and accepted. Perhaps that’s the power of marketing.
Your big moves sounds so exciting! I hope everything is going well and that you have a good holiday weekend!
My kids never went to one either – although they go to McDonalds with their friends a lot these days! I don’t think birthday parties there are a thing anymore, but it used to be huge!
Your new house truly is beautiful and the location sounds stunning. I hope that the move continues to go smoothly — having familiarity with the new place will make the move easier, I hope.
I grew up watching Wheel of Fortune with my mom in the evenings. She loved game shows, especially Wheel (and nighttime soap operas!) Now, in retirement, my parents are able to watch shows from Greece (via cable), so their watching has turned to Greek comedies, soaps, and, yes, game shows.
Thanks Chrisoula! My parents still watch Wheel and Jeopardy! I like both of those shows but haven’t watched for an age.
I was on the news when I was in first grade and they were interviewing kids about whether they believed in Santa Claus. It was a big deal. Maybe that taste of fame was what inspired me to blog. (I was on the fence about St. Nick, btw).
Come to think of it, Grimace is a pretty strange name for a restaurant mascot. You don’t want your food to make people grimace.
Enjoy BC!
Maybe this has already happened, how much do we know really about the California Raisins? This line cracked me up! I mean, first of all, you are funny. And you are talking about a sacred body part on your blog. I love it. But let’s break this down real quick. I just had to review the CA Raisins…they are pretty wrinkly! Going back to the taste bud though, all of those characters are weird! You have a clown, a taste bud, a criminal (burglar)? What exactly is the theme? Your LSD theory may be spot on, as this group makes no sense! And how are any of those related to food? In fact, maybe the taste bud is the most sane pick of the group!
I cannot think of any other explanation other than LSD!!
I have to admit I pulled up a map of Canada after reading this post. I do know where BC is but I didn’t know where Calgary is! Now I know. Your new home is going to be AMAZING!!! I’m so excited for you.
Ha ha, i had forgotten all about those McDonald’s characters. They are all so weird (although it seemed totally normal at the time) but Grimace? A taste bud??? Ah, those were the good old days!
Now you know! Kelowna is an eight hour drive from Calgary.
This is so exciting. I went back and read the old post about your retirement home – it’s lovely, and that story about your FIL (which I remembered from reading it when you first posted) is just lovely.
What a wonderful climate, too – I know you make the most of the cold Calgary weather, but Kelowna will be gorgeous scenery and so much more temperate!!
I loved, loved, loved Wheel of Fortune growing up. Vanna White was my fav. I would get so excited to see her outfit and I loved the short banter at the end of the show. Like you, I find odd details about public figures endlessly fascinating – hence why I love memoirs?
I loved Vanna too!
I am excited to plan my new garden, it’s going to be great!
Not that you care, but my first job in high school was working at Dairy Queen. I made Buster Bars and Dilly Bars like a pro, but I could not, could not, could not, make those damned curls on top of the cones.
I want to read The Summer Place. I’ve added it to my TBR list. I’m in the mood for Weiner’s style of story.
You’re wrong, Ally, I do care! I care very much! I love knowing this!
The Summer Place was a really great summer read! I don’t always love her books but I did this one!
SO MANY THINGS IN THIS POST.
I literally know nothing in regards to Canadian geography, so I looked up where your new town is. SO cool. You’re (relatively) close to Vancouver and Washington.
I’m so excited for you’re family and I hope you see that mysterious dragon guy and you’re on the news 24/7.
You had me laughing! “Maybe this has already happened, how much do we know really about the California Raisins?”
I think they took clitoris out Slim Shady’s song because they don’t exist, and Cannibals do.
😜😳
I had no idea about Grimace and my mind IS blown.
I will be only a four-hour drive from Vancouver! Four hours the way I drive, anyway, probably three and a half for braver souls.
Hahaha, I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who pulled up Google Maps to figure out where you were moving to and how far away it is from your current locale! I need to learn my Canadian geography, clearly.
That’s a big move, so no wonder you’ve been deep in your feels this year! There is a lot of change that will happen. I find moving towns to be really, really difficult so I understand that feeling of swirling anxiety. <3
We Are Not From Here was such a difficult read. The bravery of the people who come to America from South America cannot be understated.
I am here for all my US friends learning Canadian geography!! Yes, it’s a big move, and eeeeeee, so much to do!
What. I mean. WHAT. Every now and then I get really distressed at the fact that I can’t figure out what the fuck Grimace is, and now I wish I HAD NEVER LEARNED (although I did enjoy your LSD scenario).
Even though I really admire how much my kids (well, one kid in particular) and her friends are aware of world events and issues, sometimes I wish it was more like when I was a kid, and you could be embarrassingly/blissfully unaware of what was going on a lot of the time.
I’m still sad you’re leaving Calgary before I could visit you there, but I’ve been wanting to visit BC for a long time, so, bright side.
Don’t be too sad, Calgary is not all that great! Lol!
Once you know about Grimace, you cannot unknow it!
Hahaha, thank you for making me laugh, Nicole. I mean, a taste bud named Grimace… and OMG, the California raisins. I cannot “unimagine” this.
But in all honesty, I have often wondered who in the world gets paid (the big bucks) for certain mascots, commercials, what have you. I could have come up with that (or maybe not LOL).
Happy packing and I am so excited about your new home. I remember it being quite lovely and can’t wait to hear more once you’re settled in.
Once you see it in the raisins, you cannot UNSEE it!!!
Well, all news to me… I had no idea about the Grimace thing and I worked at McDonald’s for like, SIX YEARS!! I started right when I turned 14 and worked all through high school and even after my freshman year of college! No idea about the tastebud thing. That is very odd. Haha. My son actually works there now and he brought home a Grimace shake the other day and it was not particularly good in my opinion.
The Grimace shake is not available in Canada, and my boys were wondering about it – what flavour is it?
Some kind of berry flavor, but not like a true “blueberry” flavor exactly. Some kind of mix, but I don’t know, it was not something I cared for!
I’m a nurse. I cleaned up more bodily fluids in my short time at the bedside than I care to remember. And I am beyond grossed out by Grimace. Who… WHO thought this was a good idea??? And, was it publicized at the time? Why did they choose purple? (My tongue isn’t purple… am I weird? Wait, don’t answer that…)
Please write a book, once you are settled in your beautiful new home. (Also, I do know where Calgary is – have visited twice, once in January because, see above, weird. One thing that stands out is that there was so much snow that they didn’t/couldn’t plow the roads down to, you know, the road *surface*, it was just scraping off the top layer of snow at that point…)
You went to Calgary in JANUARY. That is brave! Yes, there are always mounds of snow everywhere, but you should see it in March! Huge snowbanks! We are all used to it, but I suppose it can be disconcerting to others.
I had NO idea you are a nurse! No idea! I don’t know what I thought but I didn’t know nurse, thanks for telling me this! I love knowing more about people.