This week’s post is brought to you by the letters M and E! I could say every post is brought to you by ME, I suppose, but let’s separate the letters this week. In addition to the title, I could also add in Massively Exhausted. Whew, I don’t think I’ve fully recovered from the red-eye flight, the time zone change, and the incredible amount of work I’ve been doing since returning. I’m in a massive decluttering and organization project, which I’ll discuss in detail later – hold onto your hats – and it’s physically and mentally draining.
Something that happens to me now that never happened in my pre-perimenopausal life is that I can tell with one hundred percent accuracy when my period will start, and it’s not just that I have existential angst, a descent into non-specific sadness, and sleeplessness. That happens, but for the purposes of this story, I will tell you about the one other symptom that is a neon sign that Nicole Is Getting Her Period: my breasts. Suddenly, my breasts go from resembling the stocking that Laura Ingalls set out for Santa Claus that contains a single orange and a penny in the bottom to over-inflated water balloons. Va-va-va-voom! I would appreciate this brief foray into bustiness a lot more if it was not accompanied by agonizing pain that makes me want to bind my breasts like a medieval upper-class new mother who has just handed her infant off to the nearest wet-nurse.
It just so happened that this Playboy-centerfoldness occurred on one of our last days in Maui and although I know better, I really do, I donned a bikini that, while absolutely adorable, was maybe not as supportive as others. I did notice that I was a bit more cleavage-y than earlier in the vacation when I had worn this specific bikini, but yolo. I soldiered on to the beach. My mistake was soon revealed in a literal sense; it was just fine when I was swimming or bobbing around in the waves, but when I hopped on the boogie board and caught a wave, I ended up flashing the entire beach as my breasts popped right out. Right out. The bikini top was completely BELOW my breasts and I scrambled to pull it back up, while not letting the boogie board float out to sea as the waves pulled back. It was no mean feat, let me tell you. Fortunately, my sons were behind me in the waves, and so were not psychologically scarred, at least as far as their mother’s public semi-nudity is concerned.
I decided to call it a day at that point, and headed to our little umbrella-and-beach chair set-up, letting the guys play in the water while I read a bit. I was soon approached by a young man, at least twenty-five years my junior, who was holding an M&M tube, the kind that contain mini-M&Ms and are found in Christmas stockings everywhere, except for Laura Ingalls’. He held up the tube with a huge silly smile and asked if I wanted to see something cool. Awww, I thought. This maybe-slow young man wants to show me something. I gave him a big, encouraging smile, and said sure. He opened it up and I peered inside. What…was it? Was that a little crab leg? Or legs? Dead bugs? It was hard to see – I was under the umbrella and I had sunglasses on, and the sun was at this fellow’s back.
“What is it?” I finally asked, after an uncomfortably long pause. “Weed!” the young man said with enthusiasm. “Do you want to buy some?” At this, I burst into laughter. “Oh, HONEY,” I said. “Honey, no. No thank you, dear.” It was like I was ninety years old and someone asked me to go skydiving, or to have some backdoor action in a public washroom with a stranger. He looked a little started at my laughing and asked if there was anyone I knew who might want his presumably M&M-scented weed? I shook my head and said “No, sweetie, I don’t.” He looked perplexed at both my cluelessness and my laughter, and set off, presumably to try to sell to someone who didn’t seem like his own mother. Or grandmother. I was gratified that he thought I was so hip, even though my “honey, no” would indicate that I am not.
I haven’t smoked weed for well over thirty years, but I do, on occasion, use over-the-counter sleep aids. I decided to take some Gravol for our overnight flight; generally I am a person who can sleep in transit, but I thought I should take something to help me get more than a couple of hours. According to my watch, I did sleep five out of six hours on the flight, and the hour that I didn’t was fairly interesting, if somewhat worrisome.
I had completely passed out as soon as we were in the air, and I blearily awakened to some jostling, anxious voices, and the caution to “stay in your seat.” I opened my gritty-feeling eyes to see several flight attendants in various stages of distress, right at my seat. The woman directly behind me was having a medical emergency; she had been treated for a sinus infection while on vacation, and suddenly was having severe shooting pain in her eye, as well as feverishness and nausea. Fortunately, the man across the aisle from her was a nurse – and was coming back from his honeymoon! – and he was able to assist the flight attendant with the emergency medical care she was administering. The flight attendant was on a phone call with a hospital for more instruction, and at that moment I thought to look at the digital flight map. We were directly in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, an hour and a half from Maui and four and a half hours from land, so there would be nowhere to turn around or to land. Perhaps it was because it was the middle of the night, perhaps it was due to my aforementioned Lady’s Holidays, but my thoughts started to go dark. What happens if someone is having an emergency and there is nowhere to land? What happens if someone dies on a flight? What do they do with the body? They couldn’t possibly just leave the dead body in the seat, but what? Is there someplace to put a body? Things are pretty tight on a full plane. Would the body be put where the flight attendants sit for takeoff and landing? Then what of the flight attendants? These unsettling thoughts kept pinging into my brain until the woman was given an antiemetic, put on oxygen – the tank was under my seat – and the flight attendant said she’d check back every ten minutes, which indicated to me she was stabilized somewhat. Relieved, I drifted back to sleep, waking only a couple more times to peek over the seat to make sure she was okay, before we landed.
With five hours of unsettled sleep and a time difference of four hours, I was pretty disoriented when we got home to our clean but food-less house. Does grocery shopping ever end? Of course not. Since we were in a condo in Maui, we ate a lot of meals there, which meant grocery shopping in Maui, too. Which is fine, but what I am saying is that I wasn’t super excited to immediately set out for the grocery store while the rest of the family napped at 9:00 am. However, I did want food and I had to pick up Rex in the afternoon, so off I went.
The very first thing I saw in the store were the one-kilogram bags of Cadbury Mini-Eggs, and they were on sale for $5 off. I have an actual mini-egg preference, and that preference is Cadbury, so I immediately picked up a bag and dropped it into my cart. Dropped it. Into my cart. As soon as the bag made contact with my cart, it exploded, and a kilogram’s worth of mini-eggs scattered all over the aisle and into the produce section. I stood there, frozen, as mini-eggs cascaded from my cart, rolling and bouncing in all directions. After about five long seconds, I looked around to see a produce clerk coming my way. “I’m so sorry,” I said, still staring at the rolling eggs that were now surrounding other people and their carts. I followed the apology by surpassing the world record in banal statements: “The bag, I think the bag, I think it has a hole in it?” The clerk assured me that it would be taken care of and not to worry. I picked up another bag and very slowly, very carefully, placed it in my cart.
Weekly Reading
I read so much on my vacation that I am going to make a separate post about all the books I read; the excellent, the pretty good, and the really bad. Do you rate the books you read? I do, but privately. I give a rating out of five on the spreadsheet on which I track my books, and it’s extremely subjective based on how much I loved the writing and how it made me feel. I don’t get too mired in the details, but a five would be a book I absolutely loved, and a two would be a book I hated but still was able to read. I am realizing now we all have very different methods of rating. I was talking to a friend about this, because I was surprised to see her rate a few books I really liked as threes. A three, to me, is meh; a book that is fine, but that I would never re-read. To her a three was pretty good, a maybe re-read, and a five would be a book of the quality of Maya Angelou or James Baldwin. I found that so interesting! I am not at all stingy with my fives; if I loved it, it’s getting a five. If I loved it but had some small quibbles, I will give it a four.
In any case, I read one non-vacation book this week:
In Every Mirror She’s Black. This book follows three Black women who all come to Sweden because of one powerful Swedish man: one through employment, one because of romance, and one as a refugee. Their lives intersect but are very separate. The ending is pretty intense, and I would say this book had its ups and downs for me. I didn’t love it but I liked it well enough.
More books to come, but in the meantime, I must get on with my week! I hope you all had a lovely Easter weekend. xo
Welcome back! What an amazing (and adventurous) vacation! I have a rating system I use for books; I mean, if I don’t have guidelines, aren’t my ratings meaningless?!?! I also have a running spreadsheet where I keep it all organized; however, I only note my ratings on a site like Goodreads when they are 4 stars and above. Ratings seem to matter for authors in this weird online world and I don’t want to dump on a book when my system is so subjective to me…
Lindsay, you are speaking my language! I know some authors do read reviews, so I wouldn’t trash a book either!
Well, that bikini story is a cautionary tale! Glad it wasn’t even more disastrous. And I’m surprised you got as much sleep as you did on the plane, with the medical emergency going on right behind you. i’m sure it was hard to come home from that vacation, but think how much Rex missed you! It must feel good to be reunited.
I think I was able to sleep because I was pretty drugged from the Gravol – and the lady was okay in the end which helps!
No one has tried to sell me weed in forever, you must look younger and hipper than me. Several years ago, though, a nervous-looking young man in a library elevator asked me if he smelled like weed so I guess I at least look like someone who’d recognize the scent.
I’m on Goodreads and for a while I felt like I was rating all my books 3 or 4 because I wanted a 5 to be life-changing and I’m good enough at picking books I’ll like to rarely have a 2 and never to have had a 1 (my standard there is– is it as bad as Ayn Rand?– and it never is). Then I decided to be more generous with the 5s because it felt like I was operating in a narrow range of the available answers. I went back and changed a bunch of 4s that really stuck with me to 5s.
I feel like I should have a 5+ rating, like an A+, for a really exceptional read. But I’m pretty liberal with 5s. If I loved it, that’s enough.
I hadn’t been asked about weed in forever either! My kids were like “why would you buy on the beach, wouldn’t they go to a dispensary?” But then I thought maybe it’s not legal in Hawaii. I actually have no idea where it’s legal or not in the states.
Hey there are worse things than flashing an entire beach. If anyone was lucky enough to be looking in the right place at the wrong time, I’m sure that they had a better day because of it.
I want some of those nest eggs!
Hahahaha!!! Maybe I did make someone’s day!
At least when you flashed everyone, they were looking their best?! Ha! The medical emergency on the plane is literally why I won’t fly. I have such anxiety that would be me. I feel so bad for that woman, glad it ended well.
Oh, that’s too bad, Colleen! I didn’t know that you had flying anxiety! Have you ever flown, or is this a recent thing?
I used to fly a lot but after my 5th baby was born, I developed anxiety about being trapped/not being in control and having flown since 🙁
Oh! I understand. That’s too bad!
THIS WAS A JOURNEY! I am snorting about the boob poppage but very concerned about the passenger with the emergency. And when a stranger has an emergency, you never get to find out what happened! Hopefully she is okay, but sheesh!!! Also, the mini egg explosion just… well. I did that recently with a bag of flour. It was in my kitchen, so that was a plus. But also I had to clean it up, so I suppose you win some, you lose some.
I love how you called the weed dealer honey and sweetie. You are the loveliest.
Oh! Also! Book ratings! I think I am more like your friend: a five star read is like, one of my top favorite ever. But that’s with my private rating system. On Goodreads, I try not to rate anything under 4 stars, and only then when I am really disgusted with a book.
Yes, I always think of the authors looking up their reviews on goodreads!
FLOUR. Recently I was carrying a large, full canister full of protein powder downstairs and the latch snapped and it flipped out of my hands, and it was all over the carpeted stairs. It was a MESS.
No one has ever tried to sell me weed. Ever. I guess I just look too square. As I was reading that story, though, I thought that it was going to end with he had gotten a photo of you struggling with your top in the water and he was going to show it to you, so it was a surprise twist that it was NOT!
Oh I didn’t even think about the possibility of someone photographing me!!! Welp, maybe there’s some photos – or video! – out there! Could I be a meme?
I went through a period of time where I got a sinus infection every time I flew! And then I’d have to fly home! It was horrible and I’m honestly kind of amazed I didn’t end up needing oxygen on an airplane at some point! Thankfully my sinuses and I seem to have reached a kind of tenuous peace.
My star rating system, per my Goodreads profile, pertains mostly to whether I would recommend a book or not:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ = Loved w/o reservation; highly recommended
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ = Really liked it; recommended w/ a caveat or two
⭐️⭐️⭐️ = Enjoyable; recommended if it seems like your thing
⭐️⭐️ = Meh; not recommended
⭐️ = Bad
Also, your mini egg story made me lol in amusement and sympathy.
@Ariana’s approach is basically exactly how I rate my books as well; I would say out of 60-70 books per year, less than 10 get a 5-star rating from me. But there are lots and lots of 3s and 4s. I have rated a few books as a 2 on Goodreads, but never a 1. Hopefully, if it’s a 1 (or for most 2s), I will have given up before finishing!
I also maintain a separate reading log in a Google sheets doc and also rate + give a short one-line description of what I thought.
I bought a chocolate bunny today and that is the end of my Easter candy for the year, but those mini eggs look so good!
I have finished a two, but I guess I would never rate anything a one – oh wait, yes I did. I read a book around Christmastime that made me vow to DNF more often because I regretted every minute I spent on that book. So that would be a one. But generally, not many twos. I am fairly liberal with my fives, but it still has to be a really good book to get a five!
This is a REALLY good rating system! I love the comment “bad” – lol!
Oh, you poor thing – a sinus infection while flying seems like absolute hell!
OMG, I’m dying laughing at your remark to the weed dealer. I can hear you saying it and I’ve never heard your voice before! . 🤣🤣
Enjoy your massive boobs. Signed, Menopause
Trust me on this.
Both your and Ariana’s rating systems are similar to mine. I also give a lot of books five stars on Goodreads because I am not a harsh critic. But if a book has gotten a lot of good reviews and is just meh, I’m a tough critic. For example, if I have the impression that capitalistic gain has pushed this book to receive favorable reviews? I AM RUTHLESS.
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. Many books with a lot of “buzz” end up being threes for me, at best.
Wait, what do you mean? Will my boobs get permanently bigger? Should I look into new bras?
No, my boobs deflated. Mine look like a deflated helium baloon. And that’s on a good day. 🤣
The only thing I miss about hormones is the boobs. The rest is excellent. I absolutely love menopause.
Lololol well at least I won’t have to buy all new shirts!
Oh, how fun! I could just picture the peace being by/on the beach for days brings! I love waking up to the sound of the waves — so we try to get to Coronado every so often where we can stay a few days for some of that therapy!
LOL about the poppage! I have bee there but mine must have happened so quickly and I reacted so quickly that I didn’t even remember. My husband and sister told me about it later! So I thought, “Oh, that was probably why the young lifeguard was grinning at me!” Mine was when I came down a slide — I was so excited and nervous, probably that I didn’t even realize what was happening! Ha!
I hope that woman was okay! It’s scary to think of what could happen when you’re up in the air and no way to land. That was very nice of the grocery worker to let you off the hook very easily! I’m sure they see and clean up much worse!
I’m laughing so hard about your encounter with the weed proprietor! LOL You handled it so well, even if you didn’t intend to say those things — I think they were the perfect responses! LOL
Hahahah! That did happen to me before, when I jumped off a diving board while swimming with my kids. OOPS.
I spoke with the woman briefly on landing and she said she was feeling a lot better – she was met by medical assistance after we landed, so I think she’s okay.
I have a friend who works for the airlines and she once told me that an older man died on a flight – it was a heart attack or something and his wife was with him. Because there was nothing they could do they had to carefully place a blanket over him and carry on. They tried to move passengers around so as to not be near him, and his wife stayed with him. How tragic! I hate overnight flights and freak out thinking about flying over the ocean for so long but work very hard to get over it because it’s not stopping me from going to Maui. However I will be sure to make sure I am ‘covered up’ next time I’m there – no one wants to see my deflated business on the beach!!
My friend Hannah just told me the exact same thing, that that is what they do and OMG IMAGINE. How horrible on every single level. It was a full flight so I imagine they would not have been able to move anyone and JUST IMAGINE the tragedy of being beside someone dead for…the duration of the flight, I guess. The thing about the overnight flight…that was the only option for WestJet, and you spend time in Maui getting refreshed and rejuvenated, then the overnight flight just destroys that feeling of rest and rejuvenation.
It would be so awful!! I’m going to hope it never happens. Also, WHY are all the flights overnight? The worst. And mainly stopping in YVR. They need to do something about this, stat. – and yes, I know it’s a princess problem but still!
So many funny zingers in this post!!! hahah! I laughed out loud multiple times. Too good! haha.
Being a nurse myself, I have had to assist in public on TWO separate occasions, once on an international flight when I was by myself with the boys (who were toddlers at the time!!), and once in Spain in an airport with my husband. On the first occasion, when I was alone with the boys, a man with prior disabilities was having a seizure. His caretaker/mother was there, and I think he had a history of seizures, so this wasn’t at least shocking to her, but the flight attendants yelled out, “Is there a nurse or a doctor on the flight?!?” And I was looking around hoping like, an ER doctor was available, because yes, I am a nurse, but I am a transplant nurse and really don’t work with general emergency medicine situations too often! My area of expertise is pretty specific. But alas, it was just me. So of course, I ran up there, leaving my two toddlers alone in their seats many rows behind… luckily, the man quickly stabilized and ended up being okay, but in the meantime my 2 year old STOOD UP on his airplane seat and screeched, at the top of his lungs, “MA-MA!!” hahaha… it was great and I think the whole plane laughed…. The whole thing was very… stressful!! Literally all eyes were on me and it was just not my favorite scene. lol!
The second time we were waiting to board a plane in Spain, and a man across the way in the waiting area was light-headed/passing out. Again they called for a nurse or a doctor… ended up just being me again, plus a nursing assistant that responded. Turned out he had a low blood sugar and was diabetic and needed some juice, stat! Once he was feeling better, I returned to my place in line, where my husband was waiting, and a bunch of people waved us ahead of them in the line, like, “Oh please, go ahead! You’re a hero!” And I was like, omg, thank you, but I’m not!” haha.
You’re totally a hero! Even if it’s not your area, you have way more knowledge and training than anyone! I’m just picturing a toddler calling for you as you are doing emergency care – so cute!
I thought for sure the guy was coming over to hit on you after you flashed the entire beach. Him selling weed was not on my radar. I’m guessing it’s not legal in Hawaii if they are still dealing on the beach.
I don’t really rate the books I read, apparently, I’m in the minority. If I enjoyed it enough to recommend, I try to share it on the blog. This doesn’t always happen though. I did receive a “book journal” from the fiancée though and have been trying to log the books I’ve read but as I’ve only logged on book, that’s not going so well.
Weed is legal everywhere in Canada, so I kind of forgot that it probably isn’t legal everywhere in the US! We didn’t see any dispensaries so I guess it probably isn’t in Hawaii.
Ok let me try this again… commenting on my phone is tricky for some reason!
Oh my goodness, there was so much in this post that made me laugh, especially the exploding bag of Cadbury eggs!! And I, too, have lost a suit top while boogie boarding. It happened when I was studying abroad in Australia. I don’t think anyone saw it happen but I would never boogie board in a bikini again! It was scarring.
And the weed story! I love that you called him honey!! The first time I saw weed, I was 21 and working at the front desk of a resort in Colorado during winter break. One of the bell hops went to deliver some groceries and when he came back he held out his clipboard and said, look what they gave me for a tip. I confusedly said, they gave you dried up grass??? I had never seen weed before so had no idea that’s what I was. Oof was I naive. I lived a pretty sheltered life growing up which isn’t the worst thing.
Can’t wait to hear about your vacay reads! I’m on Goodreads and also have a spreadsheet with more details. I think my rating system is similar to yours. 3 is meh to just ok. 4 is great. 5 is wonderful. But I have become more generous with 5 star ratings – because why not! It’s the best way to communicate that I loved a book.
So I want to say a person died on my parents flight once… they’ve had some really bad flight experiences – like sitting next to an elderly man on a long flight back from Hawaii who was incontinent…
Oh wow! That is insane, your poor parents! My mom was telling me about her friends who came back from a flight where the kids in front of them kept barfing. And they were older kids – like 8 and 10 – so probably was a virus, I guess. Eeeee. Not great, Bob!
I once had a boob slip out of a bikini top when jumping off the dive board, but I’ve never had this level of wardrobe malfunction before! Definitely going to keep the sturdy tops for the boogie boarding!
I have the same book rating system you do, though I don’t write anything down, so it’s all in my head. My library account keeps track of the books I read.
I remember the sore breasts during ovulation, but unfortunately, mine never grew! How bizarre with the young man selling pot on the beach. I guess you looked cool! Lol!
I can’t ever sleep on a plane. I have a lot of sleep issues. On our overnight flight home from Maui, I think I was the only person awake besides the pilots. I was prepared with my reading light and worked on crossword puzzles and Suduko.
My younger son cannot sleep on a plane either! He did not sleep at all and was pretty exhausted by the time we landed. I probably wouldn’t have slept as much had I not taken the Gravol.
I thought the weed guy was going to invite you to a party or a T-Shirt contest, maybe the weed was the first step? It sounds a far cry from regular life anyway :). I can’t wait to hear more about vacation reads and memories.
WET T-SHIRT CONTEST! I feel like I’d probably lose that one! Lol!
Not in Laura Ingall’s stocking – so funny. I thought he’d seen the flashing of the boobs and he was going to be pretty forward with you. When we were on our honeymoon in Barbados 26.5 years ago, a guy was walking around asking people if they wanted a ride on his banana boat. It was a big inflatable raft. Then he asked SOME people, like Coach, if they wanted to buy pot. Coach wasn’t in the market, but he will sometimes still imitate the guy’s accent: BANANA BOAT. Over and over again. We both know what he is referring to.
I think 5 hours is amazing. I maybe slept 2 total on our flight to Ireland. It was fine, but they offer food fairly often so there is always something happening.
Your trip sounds amazing. Sorting out food here, there and everywhere in between, it’s impossible to escape.
I do not rate books, but I tend to remember which ones I like. I read far less than you do. My new ALL TIME favorite is Hamnet. I assume you’ve read it. I wonder did you like it?
Well, drugging myself up with Gravol for the flight certainly helped with sleep!
Hahahah banana boat! That’s too funny!
Wow – so much entertainment in this post! I can’t wait for your book reviews. I now (for 3 years) keep a spreadsheet of books read and use a 1-10 rating. Maybe a 5star makes more sense? The boob flash, hilarious. When I went through menopause mine went from deflated little socks that had breastfed 4 kids to a little plumper and less saggy. So you may be headed the same way. So scary that health incident on the plane. We flew to Portugal last year with most of our family, 17 people (as long as you pay, they will go!). Our son is in policing so has medical training. He had to attend to TWO people during that flight. The first man collapsed or fainted; that was minor. While we were landing a mom with a 5 year old seated across the aisle from us, screamed “he’s not breathing!” My son seemed to literally fly from the middle seat to the aisle. The child was choking but thankfully was ok. It was so scary. He says this happens to him ALL the time. I couldn’t handle that stress.
Oh wow, that is so crazy stressful – glad everyone was okay! Gah!
Hmmm…maybe I will end up more busty! That would be okay, except for having to buy new bras, which I hate doing! I will keep you posted!
I’m laughing here. You read while you were on vacation from your daily life when you read all the time? Ah, how is that a vacation? We have different ideas of what being on vacation means. I can sleep on planes, but regret it later because I end up all achey and sore from not being aligned properly in my seat. I’d rather arrive pain-free but tired.
I was a little stiff after the flight for sure! I was also low-level worried as I have varicose veins and so blood clots are a (low-level, but there) concern, and I *should* be moving around. Guess I drugged myself up enough with the Gravol to just pass out!
You are so hilarious, Nicole! Thank you for some good laughs! Big belly laughs that had me gasping for air! I needed that!
I like that you’re generous with your 5-star book reviews. I’m a bit all or nothing with book reviews – I either love a book or I hate it. I’m rarely indifferent. Generally, if I hate a book, I don’t finish it. So, it makes me really cranky when there’s a bad ending!!
Aw, thanks Michelle! I honestly could not stop laughing about the weed thing, because how un-hip am I? “What is it?” Lololol
This post was amazing. The weed story… I am laughing so hard. (Also that’s not really a thing where I live since weed is legal, half of my mom friends are on medical marijuana for anxiety anyway.) If you want to feel better about your egg disaster, I once dropped a bottle of black paint in a craft store, which exploded on contact with the floor. I also had really sore boobs on a plane trip from Maui… turned out I was pregnant!
It’s not a thing here either as weed is legal in Canada, so my boys were briefly confused – if you wanted weed why would you buy it on the beach, why not go to a dispensary? I know a lot of people on weed edibles/ pills (pills? I guess they are pills) for anxiety or sleep or pain or what have you.
OMG the craft store!!!
I’m sorry, but you had me giggling at your bodacious vacation breasts story. But really, how horrifying to have your top POP off while trying to enjoy yourself. Thank goodness, you’re boys aren’t scarred.
The guy selling pot. LOL!! That is hilarious.
Nicole, I also wonder about medical emergencies while OVER the ocean; what does one do if the worst happens?
I’m so glad you had a great vacation and hopefully you’re rested up by now.
Suz, I am horrified to tell you that two of my friends have informed me about what happens if the worst happens. They leave the body in the seat and cover with a blanket. THEY LEAVE THE BODY IN THE SEAT AND COVER WITH A BLANKET. I guess they try to move the adjacent passengers but on a full flight, that is not always possible. SUZ THE BODY STAYS WHERE IT IS IMAGINE.
Life is never boring with you, is it? Ha! I think the trick to living an exciting life is to pay attention. And then you add to that by telling us the story so well.
Thank you so much, Laura! No, things are never really dull, are they!
I have to say, I am kind of jealous of your bosom status, even if it is temporary! I have always been flat chested and that does not change during my period or pretty much ever. I have pretty much learned to just go with it but it would be kind of fun from time to time to have a little more to flash!
I am assuming that there would have to be some sort of emergency hideaway where they could put a body, as it would be very strange to be the person sitting right next to the dead guy for the rest of the flight!
You live such a rich, interesting life, that’s for sure, Nicole.
I am all about the one pieces these days. Yes, it’s a little more annoying in the bathroom but they are just so much more comfortable to wear! I can’t do two pieces anymore and forget about bikinis. I have too much boobage for a bikini.
WEED! OMG. This is what the DARE program prepared us for. I don’t think you had that in Canada, but it was mandatory in US education in the 90s/early aughts. They promised us that so many people would try to give us drugs and IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED. I never got to practice my resistance tactics!
Hahahaha I think we had something similar to the DARE program here, but it’s a long time ago and my memory is not serving me!
The bathroom thing is the hard part about one pieces, but they are so cute!
I confess, when I read about the, ahem, bikini mishap, I worried about the mental state of your boys. Whew. 😉
And whew on the woman who was ill on the plane. Yes, they often do have to leave the body where it is, which is… not what anyone would want. That said, there is often no other option, particularly on a crowded flight. Horrible to think of that happening to anyone. On a plane. In flight. Yegads.
I hope you are getting your wits about you, and eagerly anticipate news of the organizational/decluttering marathon, and the reason(s) for said flurry of activity.
I am SO grateful the boys didn’t witness it! They don’t need to see that – well, no one on the beach did either, but the stakes are lower.
Nicole, I can always count on you to make me laugh when I need it. Thanks for the humor! 🙂
*takes bow* I am here but to serve!