I love how we all have Very Strong Feelings about desserts, and, to a lesser extent, potato chip flavours. I am here for the debate! Next up we will be discussing the use of top sheets.
Just kidding! We won’t. I am not wading into that discussion! For the record, I am Team Top Sheet, and it was only in the last few years that I realized that this isn’t the case for every other person, so consider me Sheet Sheltered. If you are not of Team Top Sheet: live your life! Do you! Be free! It is very unlikely we will be sharing a bed, so I am one hundred percent supportive of all your linen and bedding decisions.
Well, here we are in March, and I have not answered all the questions from my Ask Me Anything that I posted in December. Let’s remedy that, shall we?
- Ernie (HI ERNIE) asked: Have you ever been to Chicago? Or what places in the US have you been to, and where in the US would you like to go, or re-visit? I have been to Chicago! It was for a work-related conference back in the fall of 2000, and I did not get to see as much as I would have liked of the city. I did, however, ride the train from the airport to downtown, which was an adventure. I was travelling with two work colleagues from the Houston office, and one of them, Warren, had lived in Chicago for several years. Warren, like me, was a quantitative analyst, and he was perhaps not great at deciphering social cues, but he was very enthusiastic about his time spent in Chicago. Warren gave me a rundown of every Chicago mayor over the past century, talking at length about both Mayor Daleys and all the changes they made to the Windy City. Honestly, I remember none of it, but I did drink a lot of sangrias at the tapas bar at which he regaled me with the stories. I had never been to a tapas bar before, and when he suggested it, I thought he was asking if I wanted to go to a TOPLESS bar, and when my mistake was revealed, hilarity ensued. Ah, I think of that time fondly, if a little fuzzily. I have been to many other places in the US: New York, Florida, Texas, Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, North Dakota, Montana, Utah, Nevada, and – for an unexpected eight-hour flight stopover – Minnesota. I’m not sure if I should count that because I did not leave the airport, although I did consider taking a shuttle to go see the Mall of America. I have enjoyed all those places; no one beats the Americans for pure friendliness, in my mind. I would definitely like to explore more of the country.
This is, clearly, not Chicago. But it is Maui, which is in the US!
- Kyria (HI KYRIA) asked: What was the most interesting thing to happen to you when traveling and why? There are so many incredible places in the world; I want to explore so much of it. I have been very lucky indeed to be able to see many countries and have many adventures, but I think the most interesting place I’ve been to is Egypt. I really loved my time there, back in February 2000, and of all the adventures I had – riding donkeys and camels, being on the overnight train from Luxor to Aswan when so-called undercover police burst in, wearing long white robes and carrying machine guns, and wandering through ancient ruins – I think the most interesting one was climbing Mount Sinai in at 2:30 in the morning, to be at the summit when the sun rose. I was brought up in a very church-going house, and to be at the top of Mount Sinai, looking down at a monastery in Egypt, was a really incredible experience. It was also a very cold experience; it took me three full days to warm up. Now, that is more of an interesting thing I DID, rather than something that happened to me, but I think it counts.
- San (HI SAN) and Elisabeth (HI ELISABETH) asked: What is one thing you like best about yourself/ which of your personality traits is your favourite? This is such a sweet question! I am at the point in my life where I like most things about myself; the things that I haven’t, I have changed where I could and accepted where I couldn’t. I’m like a living Serenity Prayer. The thing I probably like the best about myself, and I have been this way for as long as I can remember, is my willingness to talk to anyone at any time. I have no compunctions about going to a party alone where I don’t know anyone, I have no problems walking up to a group of people and joining the conversation. I have, unsurprisingly, met a lot of friends that way. It never occurs to me to worry about being rejected; if someone doesn’t like me, no big deal. I mean, I’m not for everyone. But I am endlessly fascinated by other people and their stories; I want to know everything! Like Harry Burns, I want to know the story of your life. Sometimes this backfires and I end up, for example, distracting the Uber driver so that he misses the turnoff, but for the most part, I feel very enriched by the wild tapestry that is the world we live in.
HELLO DO YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS
- Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) and Elisabeth (HI ELISABETH) both asked: How did you meet your husband? The short answer is that we met at university; I was a fourth-year honours student, and he was just starting in the master’s program. One fact that you may or may not know about me and my husband is that there is a ten year age gap between us (once, when I was about 25, we were at a party and a woman, upon hearing the age gap mentioned, asked who was older. I have never forgotten that! If we learn nothing else, let’s not ever imply that a 25 year old woman might be 40.). Anyway, I was preparing to go to grad school, and he had spent years already working and travelling, before deciding to go back to university to get his master’s. We were friends for almost two years before we started dating (“dating;” I think you get my meaning). My husband is a pretty young-at-heart guy, and so for the most part the age gap is a non-issue, but not always. Sometimes, I do think about it, particularly as he edges closer to 60. He’s been my Shmoopy for twenty-five years, and I hope that will be the case for at least that much longer.
- Stephany (HI STEPHANY) asked: If you could relive any year of your life, which year would you choose? The short answer is: none of them. This is not to say I haven’t had a wonderful life, because I have. I have had many fantastic years of my life which I look back on with love and fondness. But I don’t think I would ever relive them even if I could. The closest thing would be our family trip to Disney World and Universal Studios in November 2016. The only thing I think of, when I think of that trip, is happiness. I think of the joy, the sunshine, the fun. We have taken many fabulous trips as a family, but that one stands out in my mind. I would not, however, relive that year. 2016 was a wrenching, exhausting, and exhilarating year. That year my father-in-law died; in fact it was only a few weeks before we left for our trip. Watching his demise was very sad and not something I want to talk about, but it shows that wonderful times can follow wrenching times, and vice versa. It was also, needless to say, a terribly divisive and wretched year politically, but it was also the year I took my yoga teacher training, which was incredible. I would not relive that year, but those five days in Orlando were the healing and happy family time we all needed. The boys were the absolute perfect age for it – eleven and twelve – and we had been to Disney before, so we were prepared for the sensory explosion and crowds and magical feelings that I don’t think is possible to imagine otherwise.
Do you have a question for me? Feel free to post it in my Ask Me Anything! In the meantime, I would love to hear your answers to any and all of these questions. Happy Friday, everyone! I hope it’s lovely. xo
Wow, such great questions and answers! You are a living serenity prayer, Nicole–I love that especially. Not surprising since I already knew of your Desiderata love.
Travel is really the most rewarding experience, and you’ve done so much of it! Egypt is a big one on my list and South East Asia too (Cambodia, Thailand, esp. is that where the last two photos are from?). When I’m sad about the kids growing up and away, I comfort myself with all the carefree travel I’ll be able to do.
One of my favorite family trips was in Nov 2016 as well–we went to Washington D.C., as we wanted to visit “before things changed.”
Desiderata! It’s how we should all be living. Or, at least, how I try to live.
This is going to sound weird, but those photos were at Disney World! I would love to go to SE Asia, but those were actually at Disney. Disney is so good at recreating beautiful spaces!
Ok, that’s mindblowing! The flags are so authentically tattered and everything.
You are a stunning Audrey Hepburn bride. Classic! I love finding out nuggets about people like the age difference between spouses. I’m 2 years older than my husband which shocks people more than your 10 year gap I bet! Heehee age is just a number. I also didn’t realize your boys are so close in age. What fun memories of that trip together. Happy Friday!
COLLEEN, ROBBING THE CRADLE! Lololol! Yes, the boys are very close in age, and we are lucky in that they are the best of friends. I don’t know what I did to be so fortunate, but here we are!
I love your bridal portrait. The dress, your hair, your smile– it’s perfect. I’d like to visit Egypt and your description of what you did is what I want to do, too. Especially that riding on a donkey thing. What a fascinating place to have visited.
Thanks so much, Ally! Of all the places I’ve been, I really loved Egypt. The people, the culture, even the crazy traffic and honking cars in Cairo. It is just such an incredible country.
Being new here, this was a wonderful way to get to know you, Nicole. You are a lovely person, inside and out. You’re in Canada, right? I think you’ve been to more places in the USA than a lot of Americans. I have been to Maui and it was fabulous! In fact, if I had to pick a year to relive it would be 2016 because we went to Maui, Napa, Vegas and I did a girl’s trip to South Bass Island that year. I love to travel, so it was a great year of travel for me.
Like you, I also enjoy getting to know strangers. Some people, you just connect with, and it can happen at just one event. I met my husband at an off campus party in college 39 years ago this May. It’s rather shocking to realize it’s been that long.
Have a great weekend and thanks for the enjoyable read.
Thanks so much! I am in Canada – in Calgary, home of the Stampede and the 88 Olympics. That’s our claim to fame! Maui is absolutely paradise. What a beautiful place. I haven’t been to Napa, but Vegas is also very very fun!
On the runway. Trying to comment before we take off. Laughed at the topless bar confusion because I had a similar thing happen to me, but I kept my mouth shut. It was only a few years ago and the other women at book club were discussing eating there for our annual dinner out. In my head I was like WHAT? WHY WOULD WE GO TO A TOPLESS PLACE? Ed was born in fall of 2000, so I was in the burbs during your visit. My uncle was the first Mayir Daley’s body guard. He was a Chicago cop and he drove a cop car in the opening scene used in Hill Street Blues, which was a popular TV show in the early 80s maybe, so probably before your time.
I believe that you ARE a walking serenity prayer. I feel similarly about my personality, I could go to a party alone and talk to anyone and I am grateful to be outgoing and willing to engage with people.
You have been to some very cool places. I have not been to Hawaii or California. I got a strange call the other day. It was a wrong number asking if I knew anything about an incident at an address I’d never been to in California. I said wrong number because that was not my name and he pushed onward. Me: NOPE. NEVER EVEN BEEN TO CALIFORNIA BUT I HEAR IT’S NICE. 😉
My grandpa was 10 yrs older than my grandma. I am 1 year older than Coach. “Who’s older?” – come on now.
Ernie, that is so cool! I didn’t ever watch Hill Street Blues but I know what you’re talking about, and how neat is that! And the mayor’s bodyguard! How very interesting! I bet he has some great stories.
I am also grateful that I’m an outgoing person, because I think it would be very hard to be shy. Then again, how would we know? This is just how we are born, I guess!
I am team top sheet as well, for our bed. For Paul, we only use his top sheet in the summer months when he doesn’t need his heavy comforter.
That Egypt story is quite the adventure! I love the flashback photos of young Nicole! And your wedding photo – gorgeous! I didn’t know there was a 10 year age gap between you and your husband. I can’t believe someone asked who was older!! My colleague/mentor is 10 years younger than his wife which seems to be very rare. Phil and I are 6 months and 12 days apart. He loves to mention that he married an older woman. Ha.
I think one of the gifts of aging is that we becoming more accepting of who we are. I’ve been an old soul for quite a long time and I felt some shame/guilt around not wanting to be the super fun partying type in college and during my 20s. Now I just fully own that I do not want to be out past 9pm and have no interest in ever going to a bar again. That’s why my bachelorette party theme was “girls gone mild.” Some of my college friends tried to push me to do a bar hopping type of celebration and I was a HARD PASS. Instead, my sister, SIL, and a good friend all came over and we spent the afternoon preparing a Mexican feast. And then about 15-20 good friends came over for a yummy meal and drinks and we played games and told stories. It was the best. But I was 37 when I got married so did exactly what I wanted and did not “should” all over myself. We also did not have a wedding dance which I know is many people’s favorite part of the wedding but it wasn’t something Phil and I wanted. We just wanted to interact with our guests so after dinner we encouraged people to stay around for “cocktails, conversations and confections.” I was very proud of myself for coming up with that alliteration. 🙂 And no dance meant that the reception did not go until like midnight – we left around 9:30 I think.
Wow, I really went off tangent there! So I have been kind of strongly anti-Disney because I do not like crowds. But hearing how much you loved your trip there is chipping away at my feeling that we don’t need to go to Disney. Interestingly my extra frugal husband thinks it’s something we should do. He went to Disney as a child and loved it; I never went and don’t feel I missed out. We’ll see what we decide to do but chances are I will concede on this -when the boys are older! Some of my friends have gone w/ kids ages 4 and under and that sounds AWFUL to me!
I think on your wedding you should have exactly what you want, so this sounds wonderful! I cannot stay up late anymore either. I am essentially in a coma by 9pm, so an afternoon/ early evening party sounds divine.
We took the boys to Disneyland when they were 5 and 6, and then to Disney World when they were 10 and 11, and 11 and 12. I highly, highly, highly recommend waiting until the latter ages. It’s absolutely exhausting when they are young, and there is just so much stimulation. But the trip we had when they were older was absolutely perfect. I smile whenever I think of it. FYI, we went just after US Thanksgiving, into the first couple days of December, and it was relatively “quiet.” I don’t think it’s ever QUIET, but relatively speaking.
Egypt sounds amazing! I was supposed to go over the new year of 1999 > 2000 but not enough people signed up for the trip due to Y2K madness. Someday.
Agreed on the top sheet. My husband is 7 years older. I think once you’re older, the age gap doesn’t matter as much as when you’re a teen. My son is 7 years older than his cousin and that’s huge at 9 and 2, but at 27 and 34, meh. And 100% on not asking who is older. Some people *head shaking*
Q: If I was coming to the Calgary area for a long weekend, what should be my top few things to do on my visit?
Y2K! Oh my goodness, what a time that was. It would have been incredible to be there for that New Year! Too bad.
If you come to the Calgary area, I would really recommend taking a drive out to the Rockies. Banff, Kananaskis, Canmore, Lake Louise – all very beautiful, in fact I might even say that it is one of the most beautiful parts of the world. There is great hiking and skiing (depending on the season!). If you are staying in Calgary, I always think the zoo is really a top-notch one. If you are into driving, the hoodoos near Drumheller are about 2 hours from Calgary and are very cool. Also, you could meet me for coffee 🙂
I love this post, your photos are amazing.
If we were to relive a year of our life, would it be with today’s knowledge? Or do you live it just as it was? Hmmm. If I could know what I know now, I might live a year or two again, and change a few very small things. Or maybe some big things. I wonder how that might have changed my life? I fear not having my daughter if things changed to much. Hmmm.
Your trip, right after a death…ugh. We went to Hawaii twice right after deaths. In 2008, we went to Honolulu a couple of weeks after my mom died. That was really hard and really healing at the same time. I remember floating in the ocean and feeling like the waves were actually the earth breathing and holding me close. In 2021, we went to Maui a few weeks after my husband’s sister died. Again, really hard. We again floated in the ocean, and again, it was healing. Both times, we had a lovely time, but there was such an underlying sadness about it. I kind of associate Hawaii with that sadness, which is ridiculous.
I’m team top sheet. It’s easier to wash a top sheet than to remove a comforter cover and wash that. And what if you just have a blanket on top of you? Even bigger. My daughter is team no top sheet. I bought her flannel sheets a couple of years ago, thinking they would keep her warmer, and guess what? Didn’t really help, because she doesn’t use the top one. This year she got an electric blanket for Christmas, which she LOVES.
I’ve been to Disneyland 3 times. 1st time I was 18. Disneyland has something called Grad Night, where they keep the park open overnight, and only graduating High School seniors are there. It’s wonderful. No screaming kids, the lines are short, just fun. 2nd time I was 22, and my boyfriend (now husband) and I drove to LA for Spring Break. We took his niece, who lived down there. She was almost 6, and it wasn’t as fun as when I was 18. So many rides you can’t go on, etc. 3rd time was in 2001, when my daughter was almost 6. Similar to the time when I was 22. I have no desire to ever go again, though if I could go again as an 18 year old on the overnight, that might be kind of awesome.
Hawaii is a very healing place, and I can totally understand this.
I feel like “a flutter of a butterfly wing” when I think of reliving things as well. If I changed one thing…would it change the outcomes? Would my kids exist? You understand what I’m saying!
The laundry situation makes top sheets totally worthwhile to me. I launder the sheets weekly and I cannot imagine wrestling with the duvet cover every week – even with the “burrito” method!
Grad night sounds so fun! We went to Disneyland when the kids were quite young – I believe 5 and 6 – and wow, was that exhausting. It was so much better going to Disney World when they were older and more independent.
I LOVE these posts. And have many thoughts.
“I’m like a living Serenity Prayer” is the best quote ever.
We are so adamantly Team NO Top Sheet in our house. Some guests recently stayed at our house and I made up beds with top sheets in place and it felt SO odd.
My husband and I are also 10 years apart; almost no one suspects this. He is also very young at heart. I was finishing my undergrad and he had taken almost a decade off to work and travel before coming back to university to finish his undergrad. We finished grad school at the same time, so people assume we’re the same age…but he’s 9.5 years my senior! I also don’t think about it much, but the aging process does make me sad. I know the statistics but also…life is short and so much can happen and he’s the best thing that ever happened to me and we have had a great marriage and age be darned!
AGE GAP TWINS! It never bothered me (and still doesn’t, really) but I have become a lot more aware of it in the last five years or so. I 100% understand what you are saying!
Oh my goodness your WEDDING PHOTO. So beautiful Nicole. Like a photo in a wedding magazine that little girls would cut out and save as inspiration. So fun to learn about how you met your husband, and your scandalous age gap! (Just kidding.) Thanks for answering my question!
I loved hearing about your experience climbing Mt. Sinai! How wonderful! Egypt is a place that I do hope to visit someday. It seems so very very far away from where I live, if you know what I mean, and I think it would be a wonderful and eye opening experience.
That picture of you on the bike is so adorable.
You are so sweet – what a lovely thing to say! Thank you, Suzanne! xoxoxo
I do know exactly what you mean – same, same here.
1) Team top sheet forever. My husband is an oily man and I will not have him staining our blankets and duvet with his skin!
2) If you ever have a long layover in the Minneapolis airport, the light rail to the Mall of America is very easy to use and will save you from being in the airport forever.
3) Please come back to Chicago and visit. I only live a couple of hours away and it would be fun to do a little blogger meetup!
Oh my goodness, that would be very fun!
I wish I had gone to the Mall of America!
My biggest issue with no top sheet is that I like to launder the sheets weekly, and I cannot think of doing the same with the duvet cover!
Yes to the Chicago meet up– that would be awesome, and your top sheet rationale is mine as well 🙂
I third the Chicago trip and blogger meetup <3
I fourth. And we could go to a topless bar just to cross that off your list, Nicole. 😉
I love this entire post. I particularly love your comments on accepting yourself for who you are – all parts of you. I hope to get there someday. We are age twins but I am definitely not as evolved as you in terms of my perceptions and acceptance of self…
I hope you do get there too! xo
We use the Scandinavian sleep method with 2 duvets/comforters. It has carried us through differences in body temperature (he’s a furnace, I’m an ice cube), nightly wake ups (whether from a child for me or coming home late from darts for him), and fierce commitments to our own design aesthetics (yes, our duvets clash)!
Ha! It’s all about compromise sometimes, and it sounds like you have it figured out! I used to be an ice cube also, but now I’m a hot-and-flashy furnace, mixed in with occasional ice cube-ness.
Team Top Sheet here but I had to give up on tucking the sheet corners in for marriage. The hubs just doesn’t like to be boxed in.
Also Team Age Gap, although it’s such a non-issue that the only time that I think about it is when people talk about age gaps. Also I met my husband when I was 37, so the seven year gap wasn’t as wide then as it would have been if we’d met earlier. The only way that I can process the “who’s older?” question is that your husband looks younger than he is.
He does look younger, even now, because he has a full head of hair and is in good shape, which I think makes a guy look younger. HOWEVER. When this happened, he was 35, so even if he looked, say, 30, that would mean that *I* looked 40!!! Who says things like that!
TOP SHEET ALWAYS.
You look like your little kid self, and I love all the pictures.
As another member of the Team Top Sheet you can imagine my shock when my son (as a little, little guy) ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to sleep with a top sheet. Where did this come from?! It wasn’t until years later that I learned this wasn’t just his quirk alone.
A living serenity prayer is a very apt description for you, I’d say. And something that I will struggle to achieve…one day.
What a beautiful bride!! But the age difference, I get it Nicole. There is a 12 year age difference here – and it hasn’t ever been an issue – and still isn’t for the most part; but sometimes I catch a glimpse of that gap and it pinches my heart. But it is fun to remind him that he was a cradle robber, so there’s that.
Oh, I didn’t know that, Gigi! Yes, I understand you completely, both of the pinch of the heart and the reminder that the husband robbed the cradle 🙂
As always, I’m impressed by these questions (and answers!) I love the question of what year of your life you would re-live. I think I would have the same answer as you- there are definitely times I would re-live, but not an entire year. If I could pick just two weeks, I would re-live the first two weeks of my son’s life. And my daughter’s. I absolutely LOVED when my kids were newborns. When my daughter outgrew that phase, I got SO sad because I knew I would never experience it again.
I also love your favorite thing about yourself. That is a great quality to have, and must make life fascinating. I want to be more like that!
It’s hard for me to remember the newborn stage because I was so tired, but I loved seeing the changes in their little selves. Every day brought some sort of change!
My father-in-law also died in 2016, and for that reason and what happened politically here in the US, it was a truly terrible year.
You have traveled so much! In th US, I’ve been to various places in New England (where I live), as well as NYC, D.C., Florida (including Disney World as a teen), and Washington (Seattle and the San Juan Islands). In Canada, I’ve spent a lot of time in Montreal (to attend University and visit family) as well as one memorable day in Ottawa. I’ve also been to France and, of course, Greece (where I also have family).
Your outgoing nature is the opposite my my shy personality. I’d prefer to never attend a party again. However, one-on-one, I’ll talk to most anyone and love to learn about people lives. Some think I’m nosey; I think I’m interested and fascinated by the different ways people live their lives.
I have never been to Montreal or Ottawa! One day I will get there! I spent only a small amount of time in Greece but wow, what a gorgeous country filled with lovely people! I would love to spend more time there.
That wedding picture of you is flawless – the floating-out veil, the pearls, the flowers, your classic hair and dress. It’s a classic, somehow you picked all stuff that will never look dated. I love how Mr. Nicole looks in pics of you, like he can’t believe he won the wife lottery.
I remember a friend in our early twenties saying that no matter what, she would not want to live any of her life over again, and she hoped she always felt that way. I agree – there are moments that I miss, but I have fought so hard to be more comfortable with who I am, and the thought of going back to those heights of insecurity and shame is not tempting.
I am always terrified to walk into a party alone, but it never lasts for as long as I think it will. I always like talking to people who are very different from me. My husband does not, and it’s kind of amusing how fast he will try to get away if we’re together when the conversation begins.
Oh, your comment about Mr Nicole made me tear up. You are such a sweet friend. Thank you xoxoxo
Yes, I totally hear you about not wanting to relive my life! I like my life, and I like my memories, and I am going to keep them as memories. You know, even if time travel was a thing.
I enjoyed reading about your travels – you’ve visited some wonderful places. Our last trip was in 2019 – we saw a Seahawks football game in Seattle and it was so much fun! We haven’t felt any desire to travel since then – hopefully we’ll get over that feeling some day.
Michelle, I know what you mean. This is the topic for a future blog post, but I do feel my sense of adventure has been a bit tamped down over the past few years. I get what you’re saying!
“A living serenity prayer” I love that.
I also love your bridal picture.
You are a human I find very interesting. I aspire to your level of joy and even-keel-ness.
You’re so kind – thank you so much xo
Team Top Sheet here! Oh, wait, you weren’t worried about it…HA.
You made me giggle so many times. I love that you are living the Serenity Prayer. That is aspiring for most of us.
I love that you will chat up anyone, anytime. It’s a gift that not everyone has and I’m glad you embrace it.
I wasn’t worried about it BUT now I know if we ever are sharing a bed, we will be on the same team! Lol!
Team No Top Sheet! Is it because I live in a humid climate? The less sheets the better! Although I do try to keep my apartment icy cold because I sleep better that way. But all I need is a quilt and I’m good!
A living Serenity Prayer! I can totally see that. You are just such a warm, giving soul.
You are a STUNNING BRIDE! I love your look!
Thanks so much Stephany! I was actually kind of freezing in all my photos – it was March after all – but they turned out well.
As always, these AMA-round ups are the best. I am so glad so many people jumped on the bandwagon during NaBloPoMo… so much interesting and entertaining information has been shared!
I love the fact that you’re such an extrovert, open person that you can just walk up to people and talk to them. I am much more reserved in social setting and tend to “withdraw” into the background when there’s too many people (and esp. when other people are seeking the “spotlight”).
You were a stunning bride and I loved the photo of you and your husband on Instagram the other day.
Thank you so much!