Last Wednesday I woke up refreshed and invigorated; I just knew it was going to be a good day. I had a vigorous and energizing yoga practice followed by a workout, I had fifty dollars worth of PC points to use at my weekly Superstore grocery shop, and I was looking forward to my monthly phone call that afternoon with my soul sister Janet (HI JANET). We catch up via phone when we can’t see each other in person; she is a Battery Charge Person, and I look forward to our chats.
I dropped my son at school, who apologized to me for running a few minutes behind schedule. No matter! Things are not as they were at the height of the pandemic, when lineups outside the grocery store past opening time were typical and the grocery store itself felt fraught and depressing. I was thinking about how far we’ve come in nearly three years, smiling to myself as I noticed the plethora of fresh produce. What a gift! I thought, looking at the ten dollar strawberries. We get all this fruit in the middle of winter and it’s so beautiful! I noticed that the mushrooms, for the first time in weeks were not shaggy or slightly slimy-looking, but instead perfectly fresh and firm. Romaine lettuce was five dollars for a three-pack of hearts, which a year ago would have seemed expensive but now seemed like the best deal anyone could ask for. It was what I like to call Scottish Valentine’s Day, and instead of just the usual Kinder Surprise or low-end chocolates, there were boxes of heart shaped Lindors discounted. Lindors! Discounted! There were no shortages of any item I was looking for, even Advil, and then when I went to check out, my favourite cashier, Susan, was there. What a day to be alive, I thought.
My mood continued as I took Rex for his long walk; during the walk he kept alternating looking up at me and smiling with running and rolling merrily in the crusty, dingy, solidified snow. It was so joyful. I did not encounter the nasty man who, the week earlier, had taken his female dog who was in heat to the offleash park, and who yelled at me for having an offleash male dog. An offleash neutered male dog. In the offleash park. Who, I may add, was running in large circles adjacent to the in-heat dog, and not bothering her in any way. Anyway, that man was not there and Rex played happily with other sweet, if much smaller, dogs, and I chatted briefly with their lovely, pleasant owners.
I got home just in time to grab the laundry out of the dryer, so I could fold it while chatting with Janet. I called her and I could hear her pick up, but I couldn’t hear her talk. Huh. I ended the call and tried back. It was the same thing, but now Janet was texting me saying that she could hear me talking, saying hello hello are you there over and over.
After a few more futile attempts, we decided to FaceTime, which I don’t love but needs must, sometimes. At the end of our call I called my husband, who was working at home, thinking that maybe something was wrong with Janet’s phone, but just to check.
It was the same issue, but worse: now he couldn’t hear me and I couldn’t hear him.
My husband then told me his company had asked all employees to update their phones; there was an important IOS security update. Oh! Problem solved, I thought. I updated the phone and restarted and the phone worked again. I called to make a few appointments and felt just fine about life.
Around 4:30, one of my sons called, and I could not hear him. He texted me “I can hear you, can’t you hear me? I’m working overtime, can dinner be at 7?”
I was feeling Extremely Frustrated. I restarted the phone. I force-closed the app. I toggled the airplane mode on and off, just like a google search had told me to do. These were temporary fixes, they would work briefly and then not at all. I kept trying, and then I accidentally deleted the phone app.
My phone now did everything under the sun but work as an actual phone.
Now, I don’t know if you have ever deleted something as essential to a phone as a phone app, but it is not as easy to replace on the home screen as you might think. It’s not like other apps where you can just zip into the app store and replace it. It took over an hour of dedicated trying to get the little icon back on the home screen, and once it was back on the home screen, it still did not work. I felt like I was losing my mind. I powered off my phone, took some melatonin, and went to bed.
The next day I woke up, drank some coffee, and started my daily pre-yoga readings. This was one of them:
OKAY BOOK OF AWAKENING, I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING HERE.
Perspective! No one was ill, or dying. This was not any kind of tragedy, having a phone-less phone. It was, at worse, a mild irritation. At this point, I thought what is the worst case scenario, here? And that was, if my phone continued to mysteriously not work, I could take it to the Genius Bar, or I could…get a new phone. As my husband has been continuously pointing out, this is not a new phone, despite my protests that we “just bought it.” Objectively, we did not JUST BUY IT: even though the pandemic has completely obliterated our sense of time, time has still passed. The phone was purchased in 2019 and it was an outdated model even then.
Later that evening, my husband asked if my phone was working again, and I answered that I didn’t know. I went the whole day without trying, perhaps thinking that it would magically fix itself. Reader, it did not. At this point my husband started up his work laptop, typing furiously. His employer has a special employee purchase plan and, at some point this week, I am going to have a new phone that will, once again, function to make phone calls.
How very exciting and how very fortunate. The whole incident made me recall the days in which calling someone on the phone was the only way to communicate with friends, other than passing notes in class. Oh, the days of stretching the curly phone cord as far as it would go to have hours-long phone conversations until my dad lost his mind (WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT FOR SO LONG?) and we had to get call-waiting so that the line wouldn’t be tied up for hours on end. And now, here I am, thirty-five years later, ruining my whole day because I could only use texts, Facetime, messenger, and email to communicate with anyone at any time. My goodness. I kind of want to slap my own face, but instead, I’ll just be pleased at the prospect of a new phone with a really cool camera. Remember the days when we’d think oh, I wish I had a camera right now? Similarly to the long curly phone cord, those days are gone, gone with the wind.
Weekly Reading
Butts: A Backstory. What a peachy read! This was so incredibly interesting, even if it sounds a bit silly: the examination of society and it’s obsession with butts. Specifically, women’s butts. It’s a fascinating read, starting with the horrific treatment of Sarah Baartman, and the rise of the bustle, to Buns of Steel, J Lo and Kim K, Sir Mix-a-lot, and twerking. There’s a section on how women’s pants are sized, if you’ve ever wondered why pants don’t fit well. Until relatively recently, clothes were made to fit individual people; sizing as we know it now is a relatively new phenomenon. Clothing manufacturers took a page out of the army’s book and just decided to measure a thousand women – all white women, crucially – and then take the average. It worked for the army! Except that women’s bodies have so much more variation than men’s. Clothing is made to fit an arbitrary average, which, as we all know from rudimentary math, is not meant to fit anyone really. Therefore, if you find yourself frustrated with trying to find the perfect pair of pants, know that it’s not YOU. It’s the pants. There is, unsurprisingly since I just mentioned Sarah Baartman, an incredible amount of racism in our fascination with the old badonkadonk, and this book was very enlightening and informative. I really enjoyed it. I had heard this author on the Forever 35 podcast; if you’re a podcast listener you may want to listen to the interview.
The Dream Builders. On it’s surface, this book is about an American-backed condominium complex being built in a city in India (a T**** Towers, to be exact), and the people whose daily lives are affected by this construction in one way or another. Beneath the surface, it’s so much more: a new kind of colonialism, globalization, poverty, caste, and the interconnections between all people. It’s an incredibly written book from so many different viewpoints, and I found myself very touched and moved by the stories and struggles. It was a book that really showcased the theme that we never really know what’s going on in someone else’s life. We might see their highlights, we might see the shell of their outward appearance, but we cannot know everything a person has been through or is experiencing. I was told about this book by my friend Maya (HI MAYA); the author is a friend of hers. Can I claim this talented author as MY friend, in a secondhand, six-degrees-of-separation way? No, I can’t, but I will be eagerly anticipating more from this author!
I hope you all have a wonderful week! Today is a holiday here – it’s Family Day! – and we had a lovely Saturday night visiting my parents at the lake. The weather is supposed to take a turn for the very cold, so Rex will be happy. My older son, who is working outside this week on the days that are forecasted to be the very coldest, might be less so. xo
You liked it, you really liked it :)!! I was a bit anxious TBH :).
I’m so sorry about your phone, Nicole. Are 2019 phones considered old? Mine is 2019 as well, but I know my person is getting me a new phone for my birthday in a couple of weeks…
That detail about long phone calls with friends really spoke to me. My best friend and I would spend all our school day together passing notes, etc. and then talk for HOURS on the phone in the afternoon. What did we have to say to each other? LOL. How seriously we must have taken ourselves. Teenagers, man! Do you know that JoJo song “Leave” (Get Out)? JoJo was just 13 when she made that song, so a jokester in my life was like, “What does she mean leave? Like leave the lunchroom or study hall or what?”
I didn’t just like it, I loved it! You know, we should have a facetime or zoom call sometime to talk about all the books you recommend to me. The chapter about Gopal. OMG Maya. I was so emotional. It was the epitome of “hurt people hurt people.”
Pinky was my favorite :). I have next week off, so I’d LOVE to talk books–the ones I read because of you and vice versa! Also, I started the Lily King book of short stories, but realized I already read it? XOXO
Oooh I liked Pinky too! Lol, we are the same in “hey wait…I think I’ve read this!”
This was so well written Nicole! I was enjoying all the lovely things and how beautiful your day was, but knew there was something coming. It is quite ridiculous when we lived most of our lives without cell phones (well I did anyway) how huge it is when they malfunction. I really have no patience trying to sort technical issues. “They” really do have us over a barrel when a 3 year old pricey item is obsolete. The curly cord and your dad made me laugh. We had 4 daughters in our house and my parents used to set a timer for 5 minutes!! That was how long a phone call could last- yikes!
Five minutes! Now that is an outrage. I can’t imagine any teen girl keeping her conversations that short! But I guess with four of you, something had to give!
We are having very similar issues with our phone but it’s our land line (yes, we have one). Beth replaced the cord that goes from the base to the outlet and that seemed to work, until it didn’t.
Oh ugh, I hope you get it figured out! One of my students – an older lady – told me about moving into a new neighbourhood, nine months pregnant, her husband working at the prison (!!) and she DIDN’T HAVE A PHONE. Or a car. When she went into labour she went and knocked on her neighbour’s door so her neighbour could call the main line for the prison and, I don’t know, someone could track down her husband. What a time to be alive!
Late last year, I accidentally deleted the text messaging app off my iPhone and it was a 3-hour emotional journey to get it back. Love the perspective you had on the situation and am excited for you to get your new phone and camera! I got an updated (for me) phone a couple of month ago and the camera is the best part – I just love it!
OH MY GOD THE MESSAGE APP. If I deleted that, well. It would be an emotional journey, as you say. I rely so heavily on it!!
Yes, it’s funny how spoiled we’ve all become- What??? I have to send a text? This is an outrage!!! I love the passage you showed from the book. We become miserable when we focus on the one thing that’s wrong instead of the thousands of things that are incredible. I’m going to think about this on my next long run. Well, and at work today. Seems like something to keep in mind all the time.
I saw your comment on Elisabeth’s blog about Butts so I knew this review was coming! I might check out that podcast.
Forever 35 is tied for my number one favourite podcast! They always have such good guests.
Lololol you’re right! This is an outrage indeed! I am definitely going to think about that passage the next time something silly derails my mood.
Hey, it sounds like there could be a market for a phone that does everything except be a phone!
20 years ago I made my living by doing technical support, primarily by phone. I spent hours every work day with the receiver cradled on my shoulder because we didn’t have headsets. Today having to call anyone for any reason is just so inconvenient.
I remember that, Birchy! I remember making calls with the phone stuck between ear and shoulder and it’s amazing we still have functioning necks from all that. I do remember the massive change headsets brought about!
I was genuinely sad that I didn’t get any semi-sweet chocolate chips with my grocery order yesterday, and my oldest said “If we all threw our problems in a pile, I’d take your and run.” He must have heard someone say that, but I liked it a lot.
Oh! I like that too! Also, YOU NEED CHOCOLATE CHIPS, STAT.
I didn’t even know there was a Phone App until I just looked at my phone! Lol, I so rarely use it to actually make a call. Technology problems always seem the most exasperating to solve.
I can try on 20 pairs of pants and still leave the store empty handed.
Right? Pants are SO hard to find the right fit! We are all so different!
Oh this is so relatable. You make a very good point. I think my phone is from ’19 as well. I hate changing phones. I don’t do iphones and not everything transfers, usually. Our phones don’t work outside of our country and it is a hassle. Maps are needed when navigating foreign places.We might take Curly’s phone and let her sibs use it when they go to Ireland. Then Coach and I might use Curly’s phone when we go to Ireland a few weeks later. Then she will not have a phone, which is an inconvenience. *We wised up and bought Curly a phone from somewhere other than Walmart last year. I, too, appreciated that passage. I don’t tend to say things like THIS WAS A BAD YEAR, because there is ALWAYS good with the bad. I don’t like generalizations. Still, I have been guilty of letting a small problem get in the way of all the good in life. My uncle in Texas apparently only has a phone with a cord. Imagine. (I think he also has a cell phone, but he calls my dad on the landline and then has to just sit there).
As always, I appreciated your perspective and the book reviews. Family day? See, one more reason to move to Canada. 😉
Let’s all move to Nicole’s town. I’ll start the paperwork…
*starts baking cookies and pouring wine*
You’ve mentioned before that you don’t have an iPhone and I always think, what must that be like? I really do like my phone, NO PHONE ISSUE ASIDE.
I think we’ve all been guilty of letting a small problem derail us!
Oh no! I had no idea the iphone app could even be deleted!! After a brief moment of worrying I’ll accidentally delete mine, my sinister little introvert voice said, “Let’s delete it!!!”
Your blog posts are always a delight to read!
I am laughing so hard at your sinister little introvert voice. (I have one too. Let’s unite) 🤣
Too funny! 😂
Lolololol it was a JOURNEY, let me tell you!
SO MANY THINGS TO APPRECIATE.
First and foremost, I always admire your energy and optimism.
Second, I’m thrilled that you’re reading Mark Nepo’s book. I’m reading it again for the third time. It never gets old.
Third, we just upgraded our iPhones to the latest model, which isn’t even the latest model. The last time we did this was in 2018, and the only reason we did it now was because our phones weren’t holding a charge and beginning to malfunction.
I thoroughly understood this entire post. Except for the 30-minute phone call because I am not a phone person. Aside from that, I FEEL YOU.
And I laughed so hard when you deleted the phone app because this is exactly what I would do. ❤️🤣
Kari, you are the one who mentioned Nepo’s book and that is why I bought it! The other one that you are reading right now (can’t remember the name, but I’ll look later) is on my list for next year. I am really enjoying this book so much.
Aww, I am so glad!
I laughed so hard at you deleting your phone app. I don’t know why, but the idea of your phone just turning into a mini-computer just really tickled my funny bone. I was also amused by just how many phone calls you make! I honestly don’t remember the last time I talked to someone on the phone (I just checked – I had a phone call on 2/12)! I think I could go weeks without even knowing there was a problem with my phone!
There was an episode of the podcast Stuff the British Stole, “Not Your Venus,” about Sarah Baartman and it was one of the best pieces of podcasting I have ever listened to. The host interviewed two experts, one white and one black, and just played their answers back-to-back and it was so revealing. Anyway, if you didn’t find her story infuriating enough, listen to that episode!
I didn’t really enjoy talking on the phone for a while, but when the pandemic hit I realized how much I missed my friends’ voices. When I couldn’t see them in person it was so wonderful to just hear them again! Some of us have kept this going; when life gets too busy for any one of us to see each other in person, we phone, and honestly, it’s lovely! We don’t judge each other for doing things while also talking on the phone – like folding laundry – and it’s just such a nice connection.
I have listened to that episode! There was another one recently – I think it was from Not Past It – and I feel so sad about her life and what she went through.
We don’t realize just how much we rely on these phones until something goes wrong. I can’t even remember how old my phone is – I think the only reason it’s still going at all is because it’s the kind with a replaceable battery…which I think I’ve replaced at least three times already. Hmmm, maybe that’s why none of the GPS apps will talk to me anymore…
Considering how much I despise talking on the phone now; I clearly remember dragging the phone as close to my bedroom and then stretching that curly cord into my room and chatting for hours…about what? Who knows – probably boys.
It depends who I am talking on the phone with, but I do like catching up in this way with my girlfriends and my mom!
I very easily go down the rabbit-hole of deep frustration when those things that we need (want?) to work easily and seamlessly go haywire. It takes a fair bit to remind the brain that most of these problems are small problems.
That being said, thank goodness for a working cell phone. As someone who HATES talking on the phone, I rely on texting a lot. And, how amazing is it that we can communicate with others so easily and with so many options of methods. When my son traveled to Iceland, his phone continued to work just fine with the simple addition of a $10/day add-on. So different from having to find a pay phone to make a collect call back in my young adult traveling days.
And…YOU FOUND DISCOUNTED LINDORS!!! (Excuse the shouting…it’s a combo of joy and jealousy!!)
I FOUND DISCOUNTED LINDORS! That never happens! I should have bought a lottery ticket too.
Oooh I bet Iceland was amazing for your son. Technology! When I travelled as a young person, there was no real mode of communication other than an expensive phone call or a trip to an internet cafe.
How frustrating about your phone!! So glad you have another one on the way. Your weekly reading sounds so good — that butt book looks fun!
It was such an interesting book!
This reminded me of a sermon – not that it was preachy, because it was not, but because it wrapped me up and taught me something about joy and gratitude and perspective, and honestly I would love to join the Church of Nicole. As you describing your beautiful pre-phone-breakdown day, I kept wavering between foreboding (this can’t last!) and the comforting certainty that you would of all people would find some way to a) have a day free of consternation or b) turn whatever negative came your way right around to joy again. I’m sorry it wasn’t A, but I love how you and your daily reading made this into such a wonderful reminder that peace/joy/gratitude are choices. I hope I can carry this feeling with me all day and beyond. Also I am very glad that you are getting a new phone because the whole thing sounds very annoying indeed.
Such a sweet comment, Suzanne, thank you! I had to remind myself of gratitude and joy yesterday – we had quite the day! – and I think it’s a learning process, one that we go through (get to go through?) every day!
Ok, hopefully this comment sticks this time. Trying to comment from my phone! That book written by the friend of a friend sounds really good! So my company’s ‘preferred’ hotel in Chicago uses to be the T**** hotel. I REFUSED to stay there out of principal. My colleagues told me the rooms were really nice. I did not care. People told me he who must not be named doesn’t personally profit from it. I did not care. I could not possibly stay there. Give me a courtyard Marriott or heck, a red roof inn, over that hotel. I loathe that family far too much to potentially send any $$$ their way.
Woof, I really went there with this comment! The phone issue sounds horribly annoying. Yes it’s a first world problem, but still. Without land lines, we really lean on our phones! Interestingly, I would prefer to FaceTime with a friend over talking on the phone, though! I like seeing them! Overall I despise talking on the phone, though. How did my teen self spend so many hours on the phone!!!
I’m sure the rooms are just fine BUT I am 100% with you on that, Lisa! I wouldn’t stay there either. I really enjoyed the book, it was so well done.
The saga of the phone… Oh my gosh! That one could delete the phone app is mind boggling! That the phone could fail to do the one thing it’s supposed to do? Or maybe not the one thing anymore. It sort of reminds me how the word in Chinese for cell phone is literally “hand machine.”
Hand machine! I love it!
The phone thing; yes, what a pain in the butt, but like you said: It’s all perspective.
It’s crazy to think of all the other ways we can communicate now even without making an actual phone call.
I’m old enough to remember when peoples butts weren’t the most attractive part of our bodies!
So many ways to communicate. We have come a long way from passing notes in class!
What the HECK, deleting the phone app is a thing you can DO?? I will now be terrified that I’m going to do it, and my phone is also not new. This reminds me of that fantastic day I had – worked! Grocery shopped! Felt good! Decided to walk Lucy extra! Lost my keys! SHIT. It’s true, perspective is all. Although it is really hard to ignore a broken toe.
Gah, losing keys!
DELETING THE PHONE APP IS A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN!!
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s a great reminder for all of us! I shall try to keep it in mind always because I, too, lose it over a single thing that in hindsight was really insignificant. And reading that passage in your book the very next day just seems like such great sychronicity!
Oh!! I hope your new phone is awesome! I text a lot — very rarely on the phone but I’d still loathe to lose my phone app! We all just got new phones; it was time — well, specially for my husband. It’s been driving me mad listening to him talk to his dad or friends and they couldn’t hear him because his phone is so old and he’s dropped it a few times!
Butts, A Backstory — ha! I love it! And very interesting to learn about the background of jeans/pants….and yes, they never fit well! Well, no wonder!!!
I think we all have a tendency to lose it over small things! It’s a process for sure!
I just discovered that with my new phone we get apple TV for three months, so that’s also exciting!
I don’t exactly like cell phones to begin with but I appreciate their usefulness. However getting a new one is a HIGH ANXIETY experience for me. I wish you well with your new little friend who I’m sure will be a delight… for a few years.
It’s so stressful to switch things over – although it was easier than I anticipated!
I didn’t even know it was POSSIBLE to delete the phone app on iPhone! I just figured it was one of those apps that was there forever. You’ve just made all of the introverts wonder if they should do the same. 😉 I tend to get a new phone every other year because I’m a spoiled brat and iPhone has now made the process SOOOO easy. It will even carry over where I stopped on a podcast episode, which is just wild to me. The only annoying thing is having to sign in to all of your apps again, lol.
I didn’t know it was possible either but now someone else has said that they accidentally deleted the messaging app and omg, let’s never delete anything ever again!