Tomorrow is February! I simultaneously feel like it’s February, whee, already! and also that New Year’s was several months ago. I’m looking at the calendar, and the first of the month, with the taking down of the tree and the Fresh Start of New Year’s, feels like a fuzzy date eons ago. February! Is tomorrow! The month of hearts and chocolates, and, in two weeks tomorrow, the month of DEEPLY DISCOUNTED hearts and chocolates! I have already sourced myself some Lindor strawberry chocolates, and I have plans for my heart-shaped cake and cookies, AND we are having dinner guests this weekend, for which I have planned a Mexican Theme, given our actual trip to Mexico in March is no more, for The Usual Pandemic Reasons, Not That I’m Sad About It But We Would Have Celebrated Our 20th Anniversary And My Son’s 18th Birthday Whilst There. Anyway.
Hidey-ho Neighbourino
We are getting new neighbours, and this is me:
A few weeks ago, a For Sale sign went up on our next-door neighbour’s lawn, and not only did it sell within 24 hours, but there was a BIDDING WAR. It must be the incredible neighbours, no?
I met my new neighbour-to-be a few days ago and he seems incredibly pleasant, which is always nice. I am friendly with all my neighbours, and good friends with a few of them. Our former next-door neighbours were nice people; we lived next to each other for 21 years, and were friendly but not friends. They would very kindly purchase big buckets of candy popcorn for the boys every Halloween, and we always exchanged pleasantries with them in passing. They kept to themselves mainly, so they weren’t the kind of neighbours who would have extra keys or anything, but we had a very cordial relationship.
So I was surprised to see the For Sale sign, and even more surprised to discover that the house was vacant when it went up for sale: a) they didn’t tell us they were moving, and b) when did they move? I am home ALL THE TIME and I never once saw a moving truck or anything that would indicate that they were leaving. I mean, you’d think I’d have seen someone moving a couch or boxes or something. Did they move on Christmas Day?
These were the neighbours who have had Hot Rod the Plumber many times over the past few months, so perhaps it was in preparation for their Stealthy Big Move.
Wisdom from my teabag.
What’s The Over-Under On This
The other day Stephany (HI STEPHANY) posted about being an over-or-under-buyer, and it is clear that I have over-buying tendencies, which have been vastly exacerbated by the pandemic. These tendencies really flared up through 2020, and I tamped them down somewhat in 2021, and I have just had another round that has ended with OMG Nicole Please Stop Buying This.
Now, in my defense, nothing goes bad in this house, in terms of food. With the exception of the occasional mushy mini cucumber, I never throw anything out. This is a combination of meal planning, targeted grocery shopping for those meals, and having two teen boys who will hoover anything down that is edible and in the house. I always have backups in the pantry of household staples: flour and oils, nut butters and baking items, toilet paper and soap and toothpaste. If the backup comes into use, then I buy another backup. It gives me an enormous amount of comfort to know that if we run out of an item on the main floor, there is a backup in the pantry downstairs.
Non-dairy milk is a staple for me.
From 2012-2021, I used exclusively almond milk for myself – the guys happily use dairy – but in 2021 I discovered macadamia nut milk, and I never looked back. It’s creamy, it’s delicious, and buy it by the case at Costco. I go through about a case every two weeks, what with smoothies and all, and since I am at Costco every two weeks, I generally have TWO cases in my pantry at any given time. You know, just in case there’s a delay in my Costco shopping. And then it was December, and I bought an extra case, and by the time my first Costco trip of 2022 came around, I had THREE cases in my pantry.
There was, during that first Costco trip of 2022, no macadamia nut milk.
Now, the rational part of me said that I had three cases at home, and there was certainly no shortage of different non-dairy milks in the city. We are so used to abundance that it is unsettling to not have exactly what we want exactly when we want it but there is still An Abundance of Food. My last Superstore trip showed very few varieties of eggs, for example, but there were still eggs. My favourite hippie crunchy natural peanut butter has been out of stock for weeks but there is still the store brand hippie crunchy natural peanut butter. There was no – oh my god, I cannot believe how spoiled I am – organic spinach for my smoothies, but there was plenty of spinach. The frozen fruit section is pretty sparse but there are still non-frozen fruits. This is not Ceausescu’s Romania where people are lining up to get bread. We have plenty of everything.
And yet, I pushed the Panic At The Disco button, about the macadamia nut milk. I thought, well, if it’s not available, maybe I can find another kind of creamy non-dairy-non-almond milk. The next week at Superstore I bought two different brands of cashew milk and an oat milk, just to try, just in case, what if there is no macadamia nut milk ever, what if, what if.
And here I will interject to say that this is all ridiculous, and also back in 2012 when I first went non-dairy, the options were almond or soy; those were my choices, along with the saddest item ever, known as rice milk. Now there are so many different kinds and brands and really, I want to punch myself in the face at my reaction to this blip in the macadamia nut milk supply.
Very long and kind of boring story short, the next time I went to Costco, there was a big display of macadamia nut milk, and I bought two cases, and I now have four full and one partial case, along with cashew and oat milk, and this is ridiculous, and I am spoiled. Imagine! Imagine transporting the Ingalls family, or a Victorian, to our modern life. Wait, you can eat more than a single potato and a slice of bread in a day? Vegetables and fruit are available to you in the winter?
All of which is to say, on my next grocery trip my mantra will be You do not need any more non-dairy milk, for the love of god, Nicole, do not buy any more non-dairy milk. I hope my mantra holds. I have officially gone from Prudent Backup Buyer to Slippery Slope Towards Insane Hoarder.
Mousetastrophe
Speaking of hardships, we had a mouse in the house last week; this is a thing that happens every three to five years, and every single time it happens I feel like I might die. It’s not enough that we are in a global pandemic, now I have to think about the Hanta virus? Not to mention the possibility of a MOUSE near our FOOD. The FOOD that we EAT. From the moment I discovered mouse droppings underneath the kitchen sink to the moment said mouse was summarily removed from the premises, I felt like a haunted shell of a woman. My younger son strolled into the kitchen to find me sweeping out the droppings and spraying down the kitchen sink cupboard with non-hippie super-chemical cleaning spray, and asked what was going on. I told him, in that kind of eerily calm voice that means I am having a breakdown, that there was a mouse in the house. “I see,” he said, “It is going to be okay, Mom. It’s going to be okay.” Then he turned and went to find the traps.
It turns out that in the times of adversity, I can be sanguine and can face almost everything with good cheer and a Can-Do Attitude, but a mouse in my kitchen is One Toke Over The Line, Sweet Jesus. Global pandemic? We can do this. Husband working from home, forever? It’s fine. My kids constantly facing cancellations and disappointment? It’s making us stronger and more resilient and flexible. Mouse in the house? I AM GOING TO DIE. Later, over dinner, I suddenly put my head in my hands and said I had a bad feeling. There was no noise. I just, like Lawrence in Office Space, had a feeling. The boys scurried over to the cupboard, and my older son announced, “We got him!” at which point I screamed frantically and ran from the room.
Later, the boys would tell me I reacted like a contestant on The Price is Right, but with less happiness and high-fiving.
Pandemic Reading
Black Girls Must Die Exhausted. I really loved this book; I was hooked from the first page and became completely invested in the characters. Tabitha is 33 and the trajectory of her life is perfect; she has checked all the boxes she wanted to check…until some medical news comes her way, derailing her plans. This book is so much more than the sum of its parts: important social issues in an incredibly readable and entertaining book. It is a book that normalizes Black culture and I think that is a really important thing: the tendency is to make white the default. It’s enlightening and joyful, as well as a thought-provoking book. I just saw that this author has another book coming soon, I will be reading it for sure.
The Art of Travel. Okay, first, a digression. I put this on hold over a year ago; it is the only copy in the library system, and I was fifth in the queue. The rule is that books cannot be renewed if there is a hold on them, and so the reader has three weeks before returning. Let’s do the simple math: five people, three weeks, fifteen weeks. Add in a couple of days of processing and transit, and we will say that I should have expected to read this about four and a half months after putting it on hold. It was over a year! The library eliminated late fees, which in general I think is a good thing, except that it can lead to Very Bad Behaviour by patrons who just don’t bring the book back. I was number ONE in the queue for over two months. WHO DOES THAT.
Anyway. It’s not a complaint, exactly, as I had more than enough to read over the past year. It’s more of an observation, and slight admonishment. We are living in a society!
Back to the book. It’s an interesting, and at times, delightful little book about travelling, and the search for happiness, and the theme is that wherever you go, there you are. We tend to idealize vacations, thinking our troubles will melt away with sunshine, palm trees, and margaritas, but honestly, if we are unhappy in life, a change of scenery MAY not be the ticket. The author writes about different places and brings in 19th century artists, writers, and philosophers (ALL MEN, OF COURSE), which makes this a really unique and interesting read. Even though Flaubert sounded like a real ass.
The Most Precious Substance On Earth. This is exactly the kind of book I love: it follows a woman from her teen years to adulthood, and it’s an “ordinary is extraordinary, day-to-day life” book. But. It’s a Big Downer of a book, I felt, and there is a Huge Upsetting Disturbing Occurrence in the first little bit that is written so casually and calmly that I thought at first that it didn’t really happen. Content warning for parents of girls, specifically teen girls. You may not want to read this. It’s touching and sad and also funny and smart. I’m glad I read it but be aware that at times it is a hard read.
Happy End of January, everyone! The month that seemed to be months-long is at its end! How was your January? xo
We are friends with the neighbors around the corner but definitely not with the next door neighbors with whom we feuded for a long time over whether the shared driveway was in fact a shared driveway or theirs alone. (The property line is oddly drawn so that we share the space in front of the the two garages, but the entrance from the street to that area is all theirs. They said that meant whenever we drove to our garage, we were trespassing on their property. But on studying the maps, we found out their garage is located partially on our property and when we pointed that out, they dropped their complaint, but it dragged on for years and lawyers were involved. It was so stupid.)
Noah went through a plant-based milk phase and cycled through a bunch of them, including rice milk. North drinks almond milk. Neither of them is vegan (though North is thinking about it). It was/is just a preference and Noah drinks dairy milk now.
See, things like this make me appreciate my neighbours even more. So, if you drive into your garage, your own garage, you’re trespassing. I MEAN COME ON, PEOPLE. What a stupid thing! Gah!
Yay! I’m always happy when January is over- it seems like an accomplishment somehow to get through this month.
You are officially banned from buying any more non-dairy milk! i’m actually trying to think of ways you can use up what you have- milkshakes for everyone? I will agree that it’s unsettling to see an empty shelf where your favorite item used to be- but there’s no reason to panic and become a crazy hoarder! If it helps, you could probably make your own macadamia milk (if worst came to worst.)
Valentines Day is not my favorite holiday, but I’ll take any excuse to make a cake and eat chocolate. Why not?
Hope you’re enjoying your mouse-free kitchen!
Hahaha, I’m not worried about using it up – I know it will – but it’s a matter of NOT BUYING ANY MORE. I hope I can stick to it!
Cake and chocolate – perfect things for February!
The whole Adversity paragraph made me laugh in recognition and want to hug you. Also, I just love so much that you have this family who can SENSE the panic and who move to address it immediately! It is so, so wonderful to have people who know us so well! (AND YAY! Goodbye, death mouse!)
Your macadamia milk story is also deeply, deeply relatable. I had a similar sriracha incident a few weeks ago, and I don’t think I can ever handle living in a home that has fewer than 5 containers of sriracha. A thing that also did not exist (to me) until only very recently in my life.
And I have that same feeling about January — it’s yet another example of the weird time contraction/expansion that has been going on since the pandemic. It only just started!!!! And yet, it has been going on for months and months.
Oh Suzanne, I so appreciate you and your spiciness. You get me! It just feels better to know we have things in backup, and backups of the backup.
I get such a HUGE attitude-improvement as soon as it’s February. February means spring WILL HAPPEN: it might still be QUITE A WAYS A WAY, but it WILL OCCUR—unlike in January, when it might not. Plus, although I do not like ROMANTIC Valentine’s Day much, I am VERY VERY KEEN on hearts and chocolates and pink/red and so forth, and I love sending Valentine’s care packages to my two college boys, with the giant Hershey Kisses I’ve bought the kids every year since my eldest wished for one as an elementary school child, which makes ME feel pleasantly sentimental even if it does not have a similar feeling for them.
I love how one of your sons took in the situation, heard the explanation, and said “I see.”
I am 100% on your side in re panicking about shortages, even shortages where I already have back-ups. I stop myself when I can—but if I fail to stop myself, I think of it as taking care of my inner wee, sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie. Which I realize is not the most relatable metaphor for this particular post.
THANK YOU SWISTLE, I FEEL SEEN. I now feel calm and happy, having a huge stock of non-dairy milk. Now, to keep from adding to the stock. That’s the challenge.
I like hearts and chocolates and also GALENTINES!
I love your tea bag wisdom. We have next door neighbors who moved in last March, and we’ve never talked to them, just waved. We are really chatty with several of our other neighbors, but our new neighbors keep to themselves. So your story reminded me of them. I will keep that teabag in mind though. It’s sound advice. 🙂
I like to get my advice from reliable sources like my teabag!
I feel like I’m the only person who hates February more than January. February is a TEASE. You think you’re closer to spring, but spring doesn’t start until like April or May, so February is really the middle of the SLOG. I really, really dislike it.
I’m super impressed by your neighbors magically moving without you knowing. When we moved into our house, the movers packed up our apartment, drove the 15 miles to our house, and unpacked it there all in the space of four hours. It was so impressive. Maybe they did on some morning when you were at the store? I love imagining how this went down and the perverse part of me is wondering if it was a big conspiracy theory to keep it hidden from you! Keep the neighbors in the dark – they might try to convince us to stay!
Oh, MAYBE. Maybe they did it while I was shopping. But…why didn’t they TELL us? I mean, I saw them. I saw them! They just said hi and no mention that “hey, we’re moving in a week.” SO STRANGE.
January has been 1,000 years long! Thank goodness that it’s almost discount chocolate season!
YASSSS two weeks today and we will all be loading up heart-shaped chocolates at Superstore!
Oh my goodness. This post was hilarious. Like so funny I want you to come be my next-door neighbour and just narrate my life and make it sound this funny.
I hear you on the milk. I am addicted to Suzie’s Oat Milk from Costco. I don’t have a Costco membership and on principle refuse to buy one because a) Costco is over an hour away b) I always spend ridiculous sums of money at Costco c) I am an underbuyer and ALWAYS feel remorse when I leave Costco and d) everyone we know has a Costco membership. But everyone we know with a Costco membership has NOT been going to Costco because of COVID (have it or are afraid of getting it) or the non-stop miserable weather we’ve been having.
I saw my husband put a VERY generous helping of oat milk in his coffee this morning and I wanted to scream: “Do YOU REALIZE THAT’S OUR LAST CARTON OF OAT MILK.”
Sigh. I “thought” I overbought oat milk the last time I was at Costco and I was wrong and my tea will just not be the same. Though now I’m thinking I really have to try macademia nut milk instead…
You could have been MY next-door neighbour! Although, you would have had to move across the country and act fast as it sold so quickly.
I love my Costco membership, with the boys we go through so much food. Mac milk is like oat milk in that they are both really creamy.
My comment just evaporated. I was being pithy, darn it. Now all I can think to say is new neighbors, yay. Lindor strawberry chocolates, yay. I don’t know a thing about macadamia nut milk, but glad you got some… so yay.
Argh! Sorry about your original comment. My new neighbour seems so nice, so that’s always a good thing.
The shortages are so weird, random and un-predictable. The Husband has reported that, once again, melba toast is MIA. Today, I ran into CVS to pick some necessary item and happened down the cold/allergy aisle – it was practically wiped out.
I’m so happy that your son saw the situation and acted immediately. We’ve only had a mouse once and I was ready to burn the house down!
Melba toast! There’s a run on melba toast? I know, it’s so crazy and unpredictable.
Burning the house down seems like a reasonable reaction!
HIIIIIIII!
My heart grew ten sizes reading about how your sons took care of the mouse for you. I probably would have reacted the same way as you. Just say no to mice in the house!
I bought Black Girls Must Die Exhausted on a whim at Target when I was strolling through the book aisle and the author was on one of those big Target screens talking about her book. It sounded great!
It’s really good and I’m looking forward to her second one!
This post was SO funny. Your non-dairy milk ‘addiction’ and overbuying is hilarious. I overbuy applesauce, although now that I think about it – I don’t know that one can overbuy applesauce.
I felt like I was IN your kitchen when your son saw you cleaning and talking calmly about the mouse. I was so happy to see that the boys stepped up to get the traps, help with the mouse. A sure sign that you are raising fine sons. We’ve not had a mouse inside the house in a long time . . . as far as I know.
When I lived in Iowa for 3 years, our house backed up to a cornfield. There were 20 plus mice in our house that first winter as our house was new construction and they raced inside out of the cold. My mother barely survived and my father was constantly taking home movies (his camera didn’t record sound) of her running out of rooms screaming and frantically waving her arms around.
Who kept that book out for that long? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that Mini ran up to Calgary and borrowed a book from your library.
LOLOLOLOL WAS IT MINI? That made me spit my coffee out. Maybe it was!
Oh god, I feel for your mother. I would have probably died. 20 mice! I feel like dying just thinking about it.
So impressed by your 18-year-old! So resilient and loving!! We get mice from time to time, and I always feel I can smell them before I see droppings or creatures. Of course this means I never know if I’m imagining things and losing my mind. Ha/Ugh
Yikes! I understand!
I loved The Art of Travel, it was one of my favourite books the year I read it. We are cordial with our neighbours to the right and ride-or-die more-like-family with our neighbours to the left.
Ooooh maybe you were the person who recommended it to me! I put it on hold so long ago I forgot why or how it came to be on my list. Possible mystery solved!
I can’t believe your neighbors left in the dead of the night just to avoid giving your boys more popcorn this Christmas. I mean, is there a popcorn shortage? Is that why they left?
KIDDING.
It is weird though. Hopefully your new neighbor will be a wonderful addition to the ‘hood.
So sorry you are missing out on Mexico, a big anniversary and a big birthday for your son.
The mouse! YIKES.
A popcorn shortage! If there is a popcorn shortage, I am going to riot.
Ever since I moved on from dairy milk to non-dairy alternatives, I have tried every non-dairy milk under the sun and have finally settled on my favorite, Unsweet Organic Silk Soy Milk… and I do tend to be a little bit of an over-buyer of that soy milk, because there is no way I can ever run out of it for my morning coffee… needless to say, I understand the panic that overcame you when Costco was out! So, you’re telling me that I have to try Macademia Nut Milk?
I am also very curious to know how your neighbors managed to “sneak-move out” right under your nose? Did they leave in the middle of the night?
I’m curious too! And yes, I really love macadamia nut milk, maybe you will too!