Black Moon Day

We are all tired. Is there anything more boring that can be said than I’m tired. We are all in a permanent state of – at the very least – low-level tiredness. This is just a part of being an adult; if you had a room full of people, and asked them how they felt, the vast majority would say that they felt tired. The ones who didn’t are probably on cocaine.

So, there’s nothing particularly interesting about being tired; that said, this week has me feeling like a hollowed out shell of a woman. I was going to blame it on the Black Moon, but then I found out that, according to astrology, the week leading up to the Black Moon is supposed to be extremely peaceful. Well then.

I wasn’t feeling particularly peaceful yesterday, when I received an email from the school, addressed to the entire parent body. I wonder if our beloved principal, when she was preparing to embark on her career in academia, ever thought that she would spend her time drafting emails begging parents to not perform illegal maneuvers in the middle of the road in front of the school. I wonder if she, fresh-faced and eager, ever thought that she would have to put out constant reminders to parents not to a) jaywalk across the very busy road with children in tow, dodging moving cars and popping out between parked cars, b) park in the bus zone when there are nine school buses needing to access said zone, c) park in clearly-marked no-parking zones, d) take illegal u-turns in the middle of a busy road in front of the school, or, my personal favourite, e) try to pass the school buses by driving into oncoming traffic while all of the above were happening. I feel quite sure that when she was in university getting her teaching degree, she never saw that coming. I sure hope to make a difference to children, to educate them, to shape young minds and prepare them for the future; also, I hope to send semi-monthly emails to their parents to remind them to not do illegal shit with their vehicles that puts everyone in a dangerous situation.

In any case, the Black Moon is supposed to signify a change or shift, new opportunities, and a time of clarity. Plant those seeds of positivity, be the change you want to see, etcetera, etcetera. Put shopping carts away and try not to run over children in school zones.

I suppose I shouldn’t write about the changes I want others to make – seriously, my kid is a crossing guard, don’t run him over – but instead about the changes in my own life. At this very moment, we are getting our roof re-shingled, much to Barkley’s chagrin. They just started an hour ago and already the noise is making me feel a bit crazy. I feel a bit like the Grinch, and the noise, noise, NOISE!

I had another, less emotionally-impactful change this week; I had my hair coloured. Earlier I was talking to a young girl at the yoga studio; I mentioned something about when you have kids, it never stops, there’s always something to deal with – orthodontist appointments, meetings with teachers, homework, activities, there is always something. She looked at me with complete surprise and said, “Oh wow, you have KIDS?” I wasn’t sure of the implication; surely she didn’t mean I look too young to have kids.

While I was getting my totally grey roots coloured, I stared at myself in the salon mirror. I guess the lighting in a salon has to be a certain way in order for the hair therapist to see what she’s doing, but hoo boy. I found myself obsessively staring at myself, my undereye circles needing their own postal code, my deep horizontal rivets in my forehead, my marionette lines around my mouth. I kept thinking I guess this is my face now, I guess this is what I look like. I remembered my mother-in-law saying to me once that she felt complete and utter shock on seeing a photo of herself: an unrecognizable old lady on the outside, which was not consistent with the way she felt on the inside.

Now, I don’t think I’m an unrecognizable old lady – YET – but the salon mirror doesn’t lie.

Well, we all know it’s a precious gift to be allowed to grow older, so I will embrace my face. I won’t embrace my grey hair though.

Before (smudgy, end-of-day makeup):

After (the lighting in the car is much more flattering):

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Enjoy this Black Moon and I hope you have lots of positive changes going on in your life. xo