Getting VD from naked yoga

Yesterday my husband realized that he did NOT have another month’s worth of blood pressure pills in the hall cupboard, and he had exactly one pill left. I went to the Co-Op pharmacy to get refill his prescription, and on the way out I saw a display of “long-stemmed strawberries.” These strawberries were sold in regular clamshells, and they were $12.99 for a one-pound container. $12.99! There were one-pound containers of non-long-stemmed strawberries right beside them for $3.99, which seemed much more reasonable. Now, I love strawberries, and if someone presented me with a pound of them for Valentine’s Day I would be perfectly happy, but I’m not sure the long stems would be worth the extra $9. I guess you could do some kind of Pinterest-worthy bouquet with them or something, but it seems wasteful to me, considering the strawberries themselves looked exactly the same as the $3.99 ones, just with long green stems poking out.

Whatever floats your boat, right? On the radio yesterday I heard an advertisement to get a divorce for Valentine’s Day. “For Valentine’s Day, get what you’ve been wanting – a divorce! Only $700.” So I guess the Valentine’s market has really expanded to include everyone.

And while we are on the topic of inclusiveness, there is a yoga studio in Calgary that offers naked yoga – which I’m sure I’ve written about with horror before, my god, think of the MATS – and it is offering a Valentine’s Day special as well. Naked Couples Yoga. I find this even more horrifying than Naked Non-Couples Yoga. Then again, I’m not exactly a “let-it-all-hang-out” kind of girl; I don’t even like practicing in pants that are not tights or non-fitted tank tops, the thought of my own breasts not being completely constrained is extremely uncomfortable, let alone seeing a non-husband penis in downward dog. GOD. I just shuddered.

The other day, I saw a meme on Facebook that said “Can you think of a name that starts with O? 99% of people will fail!” Wait, what? How hard is that? I mean, there’s a whole O magazine devoted to Oprah, for one thing. For another thing, there are a LOT of names that start with O. Whoever comes up with these memes probably get a kick out of making up statistics about people. 99% of people will fail? At finding a name that starts with O? Or just in general – is the human race doomed to failure? Maybe, but I’m not sure a Facebook meme really has the empirical data to back that up.

Have a happy weekend, everyone. Don’t forget that I choo-choo-choose you to be my Valentine!


  1. I giggled at the non-husband down-ward dog penis. Thanks!

  2. Oh God, naked couples yoga. *shudders*

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