Last weekend we went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, where I found out that there is a 20 year anniversary screening of Forrest Gump, and also a remake of Annie. This is delightful news on all fronts. Forrest Gump was probably my favourite movie of the nineties; best scene ever was the one from the Black Panther party, with Hey Joe blaring in the background. And Annie – what’s not to love? A modern day remake that still includes Hard Knock Life? I’m sure it’s controversial but I say bring it on.
Guardians of the Galaxy, though. We seldom see movies in the theatre, and even more seldom do I enjoy those movies. For every delight like The Lego Movie, there’s a snore-fest like Man of Steel, or a movie that’s completely baffling and incomprehensible to me, like Thor. Going to the movies as a family means that the movies are almost always way too violent and action-y for my taste. But Guardians of the Galaxy was funny and entertaining, with a great soundtrack and a surprising revelation. Chris Pratt, shirtless. In that all-too-brief scene, I actually gasped, and then looked at my husband. I think he’s been working out I whispered loudly. Whatever his workout regime is, it seems to be effective. This is not Parks and Rec.
Speaking of excellent soundtracks, today marks the 37th anniversary of Elvis’ death, and although I think it’s a little creepy to commemorate a celebrity’s passing, I always remember that. I know it’s controversial, but in my opinion his greatest song ever was Suspicious Minds, followed closely by Kentucky Rain and Always On My Mind. Fat sweaty jumpsuit-and-cape-wearing Elvis is much, much greater than fit, leather-pant-wearing Elvis. I’ve always loved all his music, though. I remember taping songs from records onto cassettes, using the family’s crappy old tape recorder. When I was 11 I read Elvis and Me until it fell apart. Does anyone else remember the made-for-TV movie, Elvis and Me? I was obsessed with it. Wait…I just googled it and it’s available on YouTube! Beehive hairdos for the win.
Other Controversial Opinions I Hold
Making The Bed
I cannot sleep in an unmade bed. I don’t need hospital corners, but I do need the sheets, blankets, and duvet to be pulled up nice and neat every day. I also need to have the pillow shams on the pillows and decorative pillows on the bed during the day or my equilibrium is disturbed.
Richard Scarry
Richard Scarry is my favourite children’s book author. My favourite book as a child was Busy Busy World, and the kids have a library of his books, although they don’t read them anymore. I’m sure there’s something unsavoury about him – there seems to be something you don’t want to know about every children’s author – but I love his books and illustrations. I also used to love when the kids would watch Busytown Mysteries when they were small.
When Harry Met Sally Contains The Answer To All Of Life’s Problems
When in doubt, ask for it on the side. They don’t make Sunday underpants. Men and women can never really be friends. It’s really fun to say Waiter, there is too much pepper in my paprikash.
That “Have Sex Every Day” Lady Is Crazy
Every day? Seriously? We aren’t teenagers anymore, people. I’m tired just thinking about it! Doesn’t absence make the heart grow fonder (but not too much absence!). Hey, my husband is the sexiest guy ever. He’s a zillion times sexier than shirtless Chris Pratt. And yet, EVERY DAY? No.
Puppies Are Cuter Than Kitties
Now. Here comes your part – where do you stand on these controversial issues? Don’t worry, we can still be friends, even if we disagree! xo
Those puppies are indeed pretty cute. However, I posit that there are many kitties which are ALSO extremely cute, and I do not think it is fair to pick a favourite.
Also, what is a pillow sham? Is it where your pillow is just faking and it’s really actually a cushion?
Finally, sex every day would surely result in uncomfortable chaffing and/or bruising.
Hahaha, no, it’s a decorative cover for a pillow. Like a decorative pillow case.
Guardians of the Galaxy spoilers!:
Do you know what I loved most about that movie? Even more than Chris Pratt’s abs? It was what a pivotal role music & dancing played in the plot. “Dance off! Right now!” And then in the end, the galaxy is basically saved by friendship.
After years of Dark Gritty Reboots of comic books – they even sucked all the fun out of Superman, for gods’ sake – it was so nice to see a comic book movie filled with so much exuberance and joy. I dare you to watch that movie and not leave with a huge smile on your face.
I loved that too – also loved the Footloose references.
I have only just HEARD about the sex every day lady, and I was incredulous. Seriously. I’m with May: that would result in some significant injury. Also, I am pretty sure a man would end up feeling less Manly if he tried to Perform every day.
That’s what I thought! My husband is not a young man anymore. ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER.
Except for Richard Scarry, I’m with you on every count. I would add, though, that adults cats are much cuter (and more desirable as pets) than adult dogs. No one can compete with a puppy, though. Is the sex every day lady the author of that article “Five Reasons to Have Sex With Your Husband Every Day” that was going around on Facebook? Because I read the article and noticed that her reasons would really be more aptly titled “Five Reasons Not To Give Up Having Sex Altogether.” She really didn’t make any arguments for why every day would be superior to any other schedule that does not involve weeks on end of abstinence.
I totally agree. What’s with the every day thing?
I hear your opinion about cats versus dogs, but in my (completely unbiased) opinion Barkley is the cutest animal on earth (yes he is, who’s a cute doggie? Barkley’s a cute doggie). Totally unbiased.
We saw Guardians of the Galaxy at the drive-in while camping, on a night that was cold enough for no bugs, wrapped in blankets in the van, so it was pretty much a perfect experience on every level. I loved the humour and goofiness and ever-so-slightly cheesy Friendship Power theme that made me smile so hard (at one point Eve and I were singing the Wonder Pets theme song “What’s Gonna Work? TEAMWORK!”)
I don’t think puppies are cuter than kittens – I think baby-any-animals are uniformly adorable. Baby skunks are cute, for frik’s sake. I can’t leave my room in the morning without making my bed. Richard Scarry? Meh. When Harry Met Sally? Loved it – should rewatch with Eve. Oh wait – fake orgasm scene. Put a pin in that one. Have Sex Every Day Lady? Haven’t come across her (been camping) but she’s clearly trippin’.
Baby skunks are weirdly cute. I actually follow a twitter account called cute emergency, and it is almost entirely baby animals.
I much prefer a made bed but in the summer when the kids are home and my already subpar housekeeping goes further south, I just don’t bother. Plus, they like to hang out in my bed and if I make it they just mess up the covers, so what’s the point?
Kittens all the way.
My six-year old is currently obsessed with Richard Scarry and I have had such fun dusting off my childhood books for her.
And let’s not talk about how many times I watched Elvis and Me.
Now you can watch it on YouTube! I’m a little scared to do it though, because what if it’s terrible. It could be terrible.