Nicole’s Favourite Things: Sears Wish Book Edition, Part 1

Every year – generally, these days, in August – I receive my own hard copy of the Sears Wish Book and every year it brings me much joy and happiness. When I was a kid I would circle all the amazing things I wanted in the Wish Book in order to make my list for Santa; I was equally mesmerized by the extensive doll selection near the back and the “Gifts” section near the front. Flash forward a few decades and I’m still mesmerized by the “Gifts” section.

I actually really, really love the Sears catalogue – and not just the Wish Book, no – every year I order Sorel boots for the kids; they always have the sizes I need at good prices and I don’t have to drag the boys to every shoe store in the mall only to find they DON’T have any boots for boys except in size tiny and gigantic. I order flannel sheets from Sears and the very best pajamas in the world are from Sears:

 
SNOOPY!
 
Did you know there are only five weeks until Christmas?

Totally. And although I wanted to write this post back in August when I received the Sears Wish Book, I held off out of respect for you, dear reader. But I cannot hold out any longer. Here is Nicole’s Favourite Things: Sears Wish Book Edition, Part 1. Yes, dear reader, there will be more than one part. It’s a series! A series of Wish Book awesomeness. Let’s start with the “Gifts”, shall we?

Retro Gifts

I love these things. Didn’t we all have them when we were kids? I know I had that record player and the telephone. I clearly recall playing Clare de Lune over and over, and also having amazing pretend conversations on my chatter phone. However, I kind of think that if you’re looking to give these to your kids as gifts…well, let’s just say it might be more of a gift for yourself, you know? I’m not totally sure children would really love the chatter phone all that much, although, who knows? Maybe they like to pretend they’re living in the dark ages when we all had rotary phones. Actually I think my parents just got rid of their flesh coloured rotary phone recently. Not to mention my in-laws have my husband’s original TV radio and it still works; the kids used to listen to The Farmer in the Dell on it over and over when they were smaller. I’m not sure what I think of the $99 Coca Cola fridge. It seems a little bossy. Have a Coke – NOW. I don’t even like Coke. I haven’t had one in probably 30 years.

I don’t remember Hello Kitty being a thing when I was a kid. Everything on this page makes the practical side of me say this is landfill garbage; probably would break after one or two uses. The impractical, pink-deprived side of me says squeeeeee I need a Hello Kitty Cotton Candy Maker! Also, how cute is that dollhouse? Moving on.

 Dog Related Items


There is something amazing about a mug that says “I Like Big Mutts and I Cannot Lie”. Digression: if you had to have a theme song that would play every time you walked into a room – i.e., like Darth Vader – what would it be? Mine would be Baby Got Back. I think that would be epic.

Questionable Stocking Stuffers

Stocking stuffers for everyone on your list, says the caption, but I actually question this. Cake pop pans – MAYBE. But “Trendy Top” which is supposed to “Cover your waist, belly, and rear view” and then shows a picture of someone bending over and okay, there is probably a better way to tell someone that you can totally see their panties when they bend over and maybe they should cover up that belly, too, than putting such an item in their Christmas stocking. That said, I do think it’s a good idea, but maybe not for a gift? And do you see the white drill-like thing at the bottom? That’s an ear wax remover. Now, I just took Jake into the doctor to get his own severely impacted ear wax removed, and it was simultaneously revolting and fascinating, but I’m not sure that an Wax Vac Ear Cleaner would be well received as a present. Nor, maybe, an Expanding Hose and Hanger or a set of Sham-Wows. Or an Aaahh Bra, unless you knew that person very well and they requested it. I did buy one of those Hot Buns things from my hair salon, and it’s pretty cool, so maybe that would be a nice stocking stuffer.

Canadiana


A snowball maker and thrower, all in one! I haven’t really made snowballs in a long time but that seems fun, as does the Canada Beverage Survival Belt. I would totally buy one of those for my father-in-law; he would love it. The parrot corkscrew is kind of cute in a creepy-kitchy way.

File Under Hmmmm

For $29.99 a giant keyboard seems like a steal, although it’s lots smaller than the one from the FAO Schwartz in the movie Big. The tutu/ blanket set would be good although the sizing says “One Size Fits Most Girls”. That’s pretty gender specific, Sears. Hey, an Agent P clock radio! Say goodbye to your clock radio.

Probably Not

I have seen these hoodies on kids, and fine. Creepy, but fine. If I saw this on a grown man I’d dial 9-1- and then wait to be attacked. Sorry, grown men who are fans of skeleton hoodies that go over your face. These are not appropriate to wear while out and about unless you want people to profile you a certain unflattering way, the best case scenario being a guy who lives in his mom’s basement making youtube videos of his X-box cheat codes.

Comments

  1. True story — my dad was a store manager at Sear’s and when I was growing up, I loathed how I had to wear Sear’s clothing. But the catalog was cool!

  2. I love the catalogue! LOVE. Although we don’t get a hard copy anymore. Sadness. Woe. We did have one once, and the boys read and re-read it over and over and OVER again. Hours of entertainment, just from the catalogue. Probably more fun than a lot of the actual things in it.

    I bought my mom a bunch of Shamwows for her birthday one year. She loved them. I would actually welcome some. They are great as long as you don’t put them in the dryer.

    • I know this! We have Sham-Wows and they are all shrunken and useless because I didn’t read the directions wherein you are not supposed to put that rag you just wiped the floor with in the dryer. It’s all fancy, like a wool sweater or lingerie.

  3. Someone with your tiny perfect ass is NOT allowed to have Baby Got Back for a theme song. You may have I’m Sexy and I Know It – sh! Don’t argue!
    Yeah, I usually love the catalogue, but that stocking stuffer compilation sort of seems like it was put together by staffers who were drunk or high and a little hostile towards most of humanity. COVER YOUR UNDERWEAR! TAKE CARE OF THAT EAR WAX! HAVE A FUCKING COKE! Uncertain…

    • GOD WHAT IS WITH YOUR EARWAX YOU NEED THIS ITEM. Or, GOD STOP SHOWING PEOPLE YOUR PANTIES/ BUTTCRACK. Actually, my mom probably wants to get that for me. Mom, do they have it in black?

  4. We get copies of all the catalogs in our mailbox, thanks to my I Live In The Sticks, Sears It Is shopping policy. And where ELSE do women with hard-to-find bra sizes BUY their bras?
    My dad keeps bring copies of the toy-only Sears catalog to N. “This is,” he always tells her, “Just for you.”

    • Sweet!

      Oh! And that reminds me – Sears is great for unusual bra sizes. I bought all my nursing bras from Sears since I skyrocketed into a triple-D size.

  5. My parents still have my Fisher-Price record player and the kids love it. And yes, if we had unlimited space and money I would buy that dollhouse for H.

  6. My daughter LOVES Hello Kitty. Obviously their R&D department has figured out the perfect formula to dial into 4 YO little girl minds to make them want anything and everything Hello Kitty. That page would send her off the deep end.

    I’d like my theme song to be When You’re Good To Mama from Chicago just to remind everyone how much better everything goes when they don’t give me hassle about food, clothing, bed time, and other random things.

  7. Steph Lovelady says

    I don’t think I need appliances bossing me around. I have the kids for that.

  8. The Fisher Price record player brings back so many good memories : )

  9. Actually, Nicole, Hello Kitty stuff is really good quality…surprise! I have a Hello Kitty microwave, popcorn maker, waffle maker, toaster, hair crimper, many telephones and tv. All work wonderfully!

  10. Actually, Nicole, Hello Kitty stuff is good quality…surprise! I have a Hello Kitty microwave, toaster, popcorn maker, waffle maker, hair crimper, many telephones and a TV. They all work wonderfully!

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