My roses are blooming, and that is not a euphemism of any kind.
Well, maybe it’s a bit of a euphemism. I came across this hilarious piece about ludicrous things said by yoga teachers, and thank goodness none of them have ever been said to me, because “Let your anus blossom” is something no one should hear, ever.
 |
| Do I look like a flower? A blossoming one? |
When I was a kid, I loved the book Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott, and the follow up book, Rose in Bloom. I still love it – it’s a charming picture of a privileged 19th century New England family – except there is one teensy onion in the ointment, a wedding between two first cousins. Ew. Still, I like to gloss over that part in my head. Lalalala. I can’t hear you!
This is probably a strange segue into Nicole’s Favourite Things – Summer Edition. Incest! Blossoming anuses! Let’s move on!
Nicole’s Favourite Things: Summer Edition
For those of you new to the Boy House, I like to periodically talk about some of my favourite things, things that are making me feel happy these days. This is not sponsored and I have not received anything free for writing these posts – I’m just sharing the love for things I think are fabulous.
My Garden
We had a tree taken out this year, and in its place my husband planted grass seeds. I’ve been carefully watering the little patch, which I refer to as “his grass”. It’s “his grass” and “my flowers” and every year I dig out a little more of “his grass” to make room for “my flowers”.
The rose bush that I planted a few years ago is now covered in blooms, and is very popular with my neighbour’s bees:
Bzzzzz….look at those bees go! My neighbour’s bees are also responsible for the most delicious honey I have ever tasted.
I know I should pull it out, but I find it charming how this one sprig of yarrow has found its way into the blue sage.
Colour Me Beautiful
This may shock and stun some of you, but I’m trying to add colour to my wardrobe. Colour! To my wardrobe! And not just to keep the mosquitoes away – most of the radioactive mosquitoes in Calgary seem to have died off, happily – but because I find I get a startling number of compliments when I wear colours. I guess I’m a whore for compliments, but I have to think maybe they are on to something. Don’t get me wrong; black is still my go-to, but I’m trying here, people. I’m trying.
Yes, this is a recent picture. Sweater, jeans, scarf. Summer in Calgary!
Beauty Products
I’ve recently discovered Organix hair products, and I’m in love. My hair – my overprocessed, heat styled, sad sack hair – really loves the Coconut Milk and Biotin and Collagen lines. I highly recommend them if you have a close relationship with hair colour and dryers, and also if you like sitting out in the sun with no hat on.
You look amazing in the yoga pose but not like a blossoming anus, I wouldn’t say.After that whole paragraph I got “bloomin’ anus” in my head which makes me think of a western tv show and / or a terrible mis-speak of the bloomin’ onion you get at those restaurants.
I get something white every summer too and then abandon it halfway through because dirt. But we also have roses this year (we also had a tree taken out…hmmmmm) and they are pleasing me because they just grow and I do nothing.
We’re having LOTS OF HEAT here, which also pleases me because the kids are doing outdoor swimming lessons and that’s a crap shoot out here on the west coast and they have had amazing weather for their first two days.
I am also loving your avocado dill pasta salad recipe, I made it tonight because it was 33 degrees here? And holy hell? And anyway it was really tasty and it’s going to taste even better tomorrow for lunch, I just know it. MMMMM.
Also blueberries.
And my kid sitting on the couch and reading a book like a normal human being. And….fans. I like fans.
33 degrees on the west coast? YIKES. That’s warm. I’m just super excited it’s going to be 24 today. We get approximately three weeks total of summery weather, and it is almost never “hot” here.
I’m so excited you liked the recipe! And my kids are into reading…Diary of a Wimpy Kid. At least they are reading it to themselves. I’m not a book snob but I haaaaaate all the mean people in those books.
That’s what my kids are reading too! I know what you mean. The books are a bit better than the movies, right? Because literacy?
You lady, you and this blog are in my favourite things list 🙂 x
Aw, Rachel! You’re so sweet! xoxo
And your moustache!
I think that tomorrow whenever I feel blue I will think of blossoming anuses and that should probably help.
That lipstick is MAGIC. I must get some.
Also, my tiny sad garden has withered and died from total neglect. Probably going to dig it up tomorrow, put down some mulch, and try again next year. I love to look at gardens but I cannot grow them.
I use the same shampoo and conditioner! I love it.
If someone said “let you anus blossom” I would fall over dead laughing. I know this because I’m laughing my ass off right now. This reminds me of a series of nude therapy sessions I was reading about where everyone is nude and one person sits in the centre of a circle – occasionally with their legs spread and in the air – and the rest of the circle stare at the persons anus while the therapist occasionally shouts “This is where it all begins!!”. I think that would make me need more therapy.
Loved Eight Cousins and Rose in Bloom – I don’t know that I’ve ever “met” someone else who knew what they were and had read them! Happy summer!!!