Have you ever had one of those days where you are sad, but not for a particularly valid reason, and that lack of a valid reason makes you even more sad? That was me today. As I swept up the dust, again, I started to feel limp and wrung-out, with the thought of excessive noise and dust and general chaos for another week. Looking outside, I could see trees bending sideways from the gale force winds, I could see the container of heat and drought loving flowers that I planted in the hot and dry corner of my yard, the flowers that are now dead because they have DROWNED from the pouring rain, I could see the grey, grey sky. I had my usual annual impotent rage about the local meterologists claiming that the average daytime temperature for this time of year is twenty degrees, to which I say SHOW ME THE DATA USED TO CALCULATE THIS. THIS CANNOT BE TRUE.
So I was feeling sad, but ridiculously so. I mean, poor princess: your lovely house is being renovated to be even more lovely and it’s a little bit messy in the meantime. Poor princess: it’s a little chilly today, not that you need to be outside for any reason. Poor princess: three little plants you bought died, which you can replace as soon as it stops raining. Poor princess: you don’t have weather data to calculate the average temperature so that you could win an imaginary argument with the weatherman on TV.
Wah, wah, wah. I berated myself for feeling sad, but that didn’t help very much. Yelling STOP BEING SAD! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! at yourself is actually very ineffective.
Eventually I did emerge from under my little black cloud, but only after such cheering activities such as changing the sheets, spraying down and wiping all the cupboards, going grocery shopping, and making a soba noodle salad with miso dressing. Why would that help? Because I cannot think of the word “miso” without thinking of The 40 Year Old Virgin “Me so horny, me so horny, me so STUPID!” And this very lame line, I am somewhat ashamed to say, made me smile every time I thought about it. It’s not even funny! And yet.
Adding somewhat to my bluesy feelings was the fact that I have had Moves Like Jagger going through my head, incessantly, since Friday morning. Friday was our school’s annual year-end Stampede Breakfast (for those of you not familiar with the Calgary Stampede, a Stampede Breakfast is a pancake breakfast with cowboy hats). The DJ played mostly top 40 songs for the kids, and my own kids got their groove on for ninety solid minutes. They do indeed have moves like Jagger, in that they flap their arms and move their bodies a bit jerkily. They loved it, but since that song – along with Party Rockers in the House Tonight and You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful – was played a NUMBER of times, it stuck in my head. Do you know what it’s like to have I got the moo-ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oves like Jagger going through your head on repeat for 54 hours straight? I swear I even dreamed about moving like Jagger. SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP.
🙁 I call this mood “The Mopes”. “I have The Mopes.”
Last night I dreamt I had some weird compulsion to eat cut up, dirty old used car tires. I woke from the dream, remembered vividly all the details & was actively stomach sick.
You’re such a good mama to attend the Stampede breakfast with your kids. From your description, I’d probably fake the flu.
Chaos is hard! Change is hard. Endings (like school?) are hard. That’s three hard things, plus the usual BS that’s going on, like two kids, husband, dog, feelings, hormones, moon fluctuations, etc. It will be OK.
We’ve had a lung infection, two bad viral cold thingees and pissing rain and cold for two weeks and you know what? I know the sad. I hear the sad. I feel the sad too. I can’t bear to sweep up even my normal amount of non-renovation dust because guess what in ten minutes there will be MORE EFFING DUST WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT ALL.
That’s when I preach paragraph one to myself. And get a good night’s sleep.
I can’t help with the ear worm though. Because all I need to do is SEE the word Jagger and BOOM I’m down. I’m struck. Thanks a lot, by the way. How about some…Cameo’s Word Up?
PS: It will get better. I am pretty sure.
Perhaps it is contagious? I was in this kind of a mood all week and only feel that I have snapped out of it today. For me, it was the beautiful sunshine and a glimmer or summer that made it all okay again.
I think that as moms we get so worn down that this is our body’s way of saying…slow down…take a minute.
Glad that you are feeling better. I hope your mind gets a new theme song soon! Mine has been playing Wild One on repeat for ages now. Not sure that it is much better than Moves Like Jagger.
I recognize that feeling. Including the Moves Like Jagger element. It’s not a good place to be. It should be included in a psych-diagnosis code list. A list that results in a prescription for a niiiiiiice tranquilizer AND something sugar-based.
I spend a lot of time in the dumpers…that’s what I call it. There is no ryhme or reason to it.
And doesn’t it make you more mad as you sit trying to figure what it is that is bothering you…
And how about the incessent “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?”..and all you want to shout is “I DON:T FUCKING KNOW” and then run to your room and cry…because I like melodrama.
Sigh. It gets better.
And I would hump Adam Levine in a heart beat.
Your description of the sads made me think of the dark cloud over Winnie the Pooh. Hope tomorrow is better!
I, too, have the sad. I don’t imagine selling tons of baby crap at a yard sale this weekend is going to help. But at least my van will fit in the garage again.
Yeah. I know. I was trying to ride out some vicious withdrawal symptoms that were worse than the thing the drug was supposed to help – but I’ve still got it pretty good. But you have a right to your feelings. And no matter how great it turns out in the end, renovations suck.
I get the sad too. And then the mad. And then the ambivalence. That usually stays around the longest.
I saw that you’re writing a story though. I always found that I’m the most creative when slightly depressed. Perhaps you’ll write a masterpiece!