Are you feeling sad? It’s Blue Monday!

My very good friend reminded me this morning that today is Blue Monday, the saddest day of the year, and yet I’m not feeling sad.  That’s a win!  I am, however, feeling cold; our mild, springlike winter has suddenly ended.  The dog keeps looking at me balefully, probably trying to telepathically communicate to me his desire for a walk.  And I keep looking back at him, telepathically communicating something along the lines of “Are you out of your furry little mind?”  We seem to be at an impasse.  Perhaps if it warms up to minus twenty, we will go out for a walk, but if not, you will be stuck in the house with me for the foreseeable future, my canine companion. 

So how many of you watched football this weekend?  I cannot say I watched it, but fortunately I have a football fan of a husband, and so I am IN THE KNOW.  The first game brought much joy and excitement, the second game extreme happiness and satisfaction, the third and fourth games semi-disappointment and disgust.  Awkwardly, the team I like and my husband’s favourite team will be playing each other next week, which does not bode well for marital harmony around here.  Truly, I don’t care enough about football to really have a stake in this particular argument; I will submit in a medieval wifely way to my husband’s will and cheer for his team.  Hey, no one wants a divorce over football for heaven’s sake.

More interestingly, how many of you watched the Golden Globes this weekend?  I did, not that I have ever heard of most of the TV shows and movies that are being celebrated; in fact I don’t know most of the celebrities.  But I do enjoy Ricky Gervais and I also do enjoy me some eye candy, i.e., Johnny Depp.  I realized, alarmingly enough, that I have had a crush on Johnny Depp for twenty-five years.  That’s distressing.  Also distressing: Angelina Jolie’s arms.  I saw her sitting at the table, thought she looked elegant and beautiful, but when she stood up…eeek!  Her arms!  Her giant arm tattoo!  Normally I shy away from mentioning that someone is “too skinny” – commenting on one’s body type is rude, no matter the body type – but HER ARMS OMG.  Have some cheesecake, Angelina.  Also – and this is controversial and will probably open a big huge can of worms, but – I tend to dislike arm tattoos, unless the tattoo is an anchor and the tattooed person is an old sailor.  That’s kind of cool.  But Angelina’s big tat really detracted from the beauty and elegance of her outfit, I think.  Feel free to disagree with me!  I’m just not an arm tattoo kind of girl. 

By far the best parts of the Golden Globes for me were Seth Rogan’s comment about concealing a massive erection, Jimmy Fallon VERY ACCURATELY imitating Mick Jagger’s dance moves, disproving forever the myth that “moves like Jagger” is a good thing, and Mark Wahlberg’s extraordinarily sullen award presentation.  Why so glum, Marky Mark?  Is it a Blue Monday preview?

My dog just sat on my feet and looked up at me, tail wagging.  FORGET IT, BARKLEY.  I have been outside a few times today to do dropoffs and pickups, and I am still chilled from those brief encounters with the out-of-doors.  I was wearing jeans, turtleneck, knee high socks, thick wool sweater that doubles as a fall jacket, gigantic mid-thigh down parka with hood, Joan of Arctic Sorels, gloves AND wool mittens and I was still frozen.  When I was at the doctor’s last week, he commented on the colour of my hands and feet and suggested a) I may have a mild form of Raynaud’s disease, and b) that I am not built for this climate.  Tell me about it, doctor.  Tell me about it.

Comments

  1. Angelina Jolie just plain ol’ BUGS ME. I know she’s done so much good in this world but there’s just something about her that makes me…gah.

  2. I AM feeling sad today – it’s a sad, sad day to be a Packer’s fan. 🙁

  3. I just made my dog walk on the treadmill.

  4. Angelina is much too skinny. It always makes me a little sad when I see her because she wasn’t always that thin. She was normal thin. Gorgeous thin. Now she’s just scary thin.

    I have no opinion on her tattoos really, but I do kind of like that her tattoos have meaning. And it is nice that it’s a little unusual to have coordinates instead of her kids’ names. Course, I’ve long been planning on getting another tattoo with my kids’ names, so I’ve very unoriginal.

  5. THANK YOU! I read the first paragraph and suddenly realized that 5 minutes beforehand I’d let the dog outside. In -28ºC! And then plumb forgotten about her. So thank you for saving my dog from the fate of becoming a dog-sicle.

    I think you — and at least some of your readership — are familiar with my opinion vis-à-vis tattoos. Rather than rehash that issue, let me just say: I cackled w/ laughter at your old sailor quip.

  6. Can’t you just take the dog to the drop-offs and pick-ups? Several people at our school do. Never mind, clearly that’s obvious and you would have thought of it without my help it it was an option – vacation brain. I was going to go to the gym today but I’m saving myself for shovelling instead. I wasn’t sad yesterday, which is quite remarkable I think, since last Monday I was in St. Lucia with my family and this Monday I was alone in Canadian winterland with my husband in France. The kids even slept with me last night and we all actually slept! It was Miracle Monday!

  7. What makes today (oh, I guess it was yesterday – behind on my reading!) Blue Monday? It isn’t the shortest day…is it traditionally the coldest day? Or is it the birthdate of someone from New Order? I should have sent a card.

    I am very, very sad about the Packers loss. They are the only sports team in the world that I feel affection for. At least they lost to the Giants, which are my son’s favourite team. He is a BIT of a gloater, though. Really, dude, STEP OFF.

    And in other news, YES to Angelina’s arms. I’m so worried about her. Maybe we should gather up the commenters here and stage an intervention. I do like her tattoos, though, not that I would ever get one, but she rocks them, even in a designer dress.

    Discuss: another theme of the Globes seemed to be RED RED RED lipstick. Good? Or bad?

  8. Marilyn and Lynn – I did not know that about her tattoos. Huh. Interesting! I still think the dress would look better without.

    Bea and Lynn – I know! The Pack! Boo.

    Allison – No, can’t do it – no dogs allowed inside the school zone, plus he’s big and a huge fan of kids and would probably terrify small children with his wagging and licking.

    Lynn – I LOVE red red lipstick! I hope it comes back.

  9. I can say that on Blue Monday, I was happy.
    so suck on that whoever made that day.
    I did not watch the Globes. Mostly because I fell asleep at 7. Yes, very lame.

  10. Ricky Gervais cracks me up.

    I think Angelina needs to EAT.

  11. I tried to watch it and then Kelsey Grammar won for playing (if I read reviews correctly) a sanctimonious self-important douchebag, meaning he wasn’t acting at all. And he beat out Steve Buscemi, who is the only reason I keep watching Boardwalk Empire week in and week out even though it can’t decide where it’s going or how it’s going to get there.

    And yes, Angelina’s arms have troubled me for some time. Local slang back home would call her “aglish” (pronouced AAAG-LISH) – meaning so scrawny it makes you physically uncomfortable to look at her. Poor thing, I want her to eat. She’s such a stunner when she’s just 10 pounds heavier…

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