Today I woke up in a despairing mood, thinking that Friday – this Friday! – is the last day of preschool. I have mixed emotions about this: on the plus side, we will have so much freedom to visit the zoo, playgrounds, the Science Centre, and have playdates. On the minus side: there goes my time to myself. Even writing that I feel selfish, but I trust all you moms out there, especially all you stay-at-home moms, know exactly what I mean.

I think this year of having both boys in preschool, even though it is only 7.5 hours a week, has made me a bit soft. I mean, I used to spend all day every day with them not so long ago, and they were much (much!) more demanding back then. I used to have one of them in my arms at almost all times, I used to push them in a gigantic double stroller, I used to soothe someone’s crying every hour, I used to pack an enormous bag full of two changes of clothes, two sets of diapers, two sets of snacks, two sets of cups and bottles. Now, of course, I rarely have to physically pick them up, they don’t ride in a stroller, crying is infrequent and the reason for the crying is apparent, I can leave the house with only a couple of water bottles and some granola bars and all will be fine.

We have a great deal of fun things to look forward to this summer: an Okanogan vacation, a week-long day camp at a local farm, and just general summer fun. (Hopefully some sunshine, although given the snow and frost we had this past weekend, that seems a bit too optimistic.)

I think the real reason I’m feeling a bit glum is that their year of preschool togetherness is finished. When I opted to put them in the same class, I worried a bit that they would be too dependent on each other, that there would be a bit too much time together. On the contrary, it has been wonderful for both of them. It was the absolutely right decision. But our days of our cozy little preschool are finished, and now it is time for the big school.

Well, not quite. We have a couple of months before that happens, and I need to ensure that I cherish this time, not dread it, and that I take the time to enjoy my children, in this last summer before starting at the big school.

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