It’s the dog’s first birthday on Saturday, and although I’m fairly indifferent about this milestone, and the dog is certainly oblivious, the boys know it’s his birthday and want to celebrate. Jake said “What if you make a cake for us and get a treat for Barkley” and this struck me as a very excellent idea. Who can argue with cake? I had to pick up dog food this week anyway, so today I did that and chose a lovely bully stick for $1.39. Perfect.
I chatted with the nice cashier, and she told me that for a doggie birthday party, I could purchase some goody bags for all my doggie guests! And for ten dollars I could also purchase a handmade doggie treat in the shape of a cake! I smiled in that somewhat alarmed and startled way you might have when someone you just met gives you information that you would rather not have. A doggie birthday party. With actual doggie guests, doggie cake and doggie goody bags. Is it me, or does that seem like an insane waste of resources?
a) I do not want many dogs in my yard peeing on my plants, digging up my flowers, and flattening my shrubs, which is exactly what happened the last time a friend came by with her dog in tow.
b) My dog would happily eat garbage off the street if I would let him, and I have actually witnessed him eating his own fecal matter, so I would hardly spend ten dollars on a treat that he would likely devour in less than a minute.
c) I expend enough energy on my children’s birthday parties; I do not need to expend any for the dog.
d) I love my dog very much, but he is, after all, a dog. Yes, he’s a member of the family, but he is the canine member of the family. Important distinction.
Did you explain to the nice cashier “I have real children, I don’t need to role play with my dog.” Yes, that’s a very snarky thing to say, but before I had kids I did stuff like this all the time. Which is why my dog still has a Christmas stocking. And her own suitcase. And a custom made canine seat belt. Then I had babies, and I stopped creeping out my husband with my over devotion to the dog.