The sun’ll come out….sometime….

I don’t write much when I’m sad. I don’t mind writing about being sad, but I don’t like to write when I am currently sad. There is a reason for this. I feel, I really do, that I am an extremely fortunate person and that I have more than most. I mean, I have a healthy family and a loving, employed husband and in the grand scheme of things, this feels like the ultimate in blessings. Although I have had many sad periods in my life, now is not one of them, and so when I feel sad it feels a bit…self indulgent. Or spoiled. Either way I feel like if I’m all mopey about something trivial, fate is going to deal me something bad. It’s kind of like the karmic equivalent of “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!”. Or, a phrase commonly used in my household “Suck it up, buttercup”. I know! Repress feelings! I would have made a great Englishwoman.

As it is, I’m a nice, albeit bizarre, combination of Scottish and Norwegian heritage.

But yesterday I was SO SAD and moped around a bit. My usual routines felt oppressive to me, and I kept interrupting said routines to look out the window at the grey sky and brown grass, which was soon to be covered in a fresh blanket of snow, while the children shrieked and fought in the background, probably because their mother is a nut. And although I tend to be quite glib and jovial about Calgary weather – it always snows in the spring! And in the summer sometimes too! Remember the July Stampede when it snowed! – really, the weather was getting me down. The temperatures hovering around freezing, the snow, the wind. Really it’s quite depressing. But, as they say, if you can’t change something, change the way you feel about it. I mean, I’m not Ma Ingalls and it’s not like trains are not going to get through and we are all going to die of starvation. Perspective, people.

And so my husband cheered me up by indulging in one of our favourite semi-annual activities – minds out of the gutter people! – which is looking at houses on-line, talking about buying a different house, and then concluding that our house is just FINE, thank you, and we aren’t moving. We have a nice house for kids – it’s got a good sized kitchen, a fully developed basement for a play area, and a gorgeous yard and garden. Which are currently covered in snow. Snap! Enough of that! Back to thinking about Ma Ingalls.