Friday Afternoon Slump – originally published June 20, 2008

I’m really having a slump-y afternoon. Those of you who are home with the kids may understand….for me Friday afternoons are always a bit tinged with melancholy. Sure, we will be doing fun things on the weekend. Sure, it will be great to have Rob take over some of the kid-related activities. But weekends are sure not what they once were. You’d think I’d be used to this by now, but normally by Friday afternoon I’m a touch, let’s say, bitchy? And easily annoyed? So I thought I’d write down a few things with the thought that maybe seeing the absurdity in writing will make me laugh a bit.

THINGS THAT IRRITATED ME TODAY (note, most of these things happen on a daily basis, but don’t usually irritate me)

Early morning conversation.

Me: Okay guys, before we head out, make sure you brush your teeth, wash your faces, and use the bathroom.

Jake: I not have to pee, Mama.

Jake: I already peed last week!

Jake: I peed yesterday when I had my bath! (note: following the grand tradition of his brother’s, he makes a happy game of peeing in the bath)

Me: Jake, we’re not leaving until you go to the bathroom.

Jake: Okay Mama. But, I’m not peeing ever again!

Five minutes later…

Me: Let’s get our sunscreen on!

Mark: I don’t need sunscreen.

Me: Yes you do!

Mark: I’m never going outside again if I have to wear sunscreen.

Me: (sound of brain exploding from the tedium of the preschooler debate team)

Later in the day…(note: I’m very fortunate in that the boys rarely fight. When they do fight, however, it is so stupid as to be completely mind-numbing. This is why I have a red wine habit).

Mark: Jake, who do you want to be from the Cars movie? I’m going to be Chick.

Jake: I be Doc Hudson! The town doctor and dudge!

Mark: I changed my mind. Actually, I’m Doc Hudson.

Jake: No I am. I AM DOC HUDSON.

Both, simultaneously: AAAHHHHHHHAAAHHHHHH

Still later in this very long afternoon.

Me: Hey guys, would you like to pick out a video to watch while I make dinner?

Mark: Jake, let’s watch Garbage Dump – your favourite! (note: this actually is Jake’s favourite video).

Jake: YAYYYY!!!!

Me: Mark, that was so nice to pick that one out.

As I’m putting the DVD into the machine…

Mark: Actually, I changed my mind. I don’t agree. How about Buses, Subways and Trains?

Jake: NO! Garbage Dump! Actually, I don’t agree. Maybe Construction Site?

Mark: NO!

Jake: NO!

Me (very cleverly): Okay, if you can’t agree, I will choose something for you. (turning on Treehouse, knowing that Fifi and the Flowertots is on)

Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! NOT FIFI!!!!! TURN IT OFF!!!!!!

Mark: Jake, what about Mission to Mars?

Jake: Okay.

And so the weekend countdown begins!!!