Five Things For Friday

Decorative Gourd Season

Everyone’s talking about the first day of fall, oh, the excitement of the crispness in the air and the leaves turning and pumpkin spice everything taking over the world like alien overlords. I don’t mean to be a curmudgeon about things but I swear, I thought it was going to snow last night. The rain had that sleety feeling and the already-changed leaves were rapidly being blown off of trees. You want crispness in the air? That’s crispness. Today is much more temperate but Winter Is Coming and also I loathe pumpkin spice. However. I do like sweaters and boots and scarves so I guess that’s something. The leaves that are still on the trees are also very pretty.

We’re Jamming

Today I really wanted to make peach jam but I didn’t have quite enough peaches. I wondered what would happen if I added pears, so I did. I was completely befuddled as to why the recipe, which I had cut in half, made over twice the amount of jam. Was it pear related? Was it some kind of jam-chemistry that I wasn’t aware of? Was I magic? Then I realized I cut the fruit in half without cutting the sugar. So I now have eight very sweet jars of jam. I am gravely disappointed in this.

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How Did I Get On This Mailing List

I received a catalogue in the mail today; I don’t know why or how but I am really not the target audience for it. It is almost entirely velour capes and “country classics” and is pretty much the opposite of clothing that I wear.

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There is an entire section based on Fall Leaf Motifs. As I flipped through I kept thinking wow, there are a lot of pajamas in this catalogue, but no. Those are not pajamas.

I Cannot Stop Staring At My Fridge

Yesterday I was having a conversation (HI SHARYL HI LINDA) and the words You Should See Her Fridge came up. My friend’s sister keeps her stainless steel fridge spotless, and because I am apparently Heloise, Queen of Household Hints, I immediately asked to be let in on the secret. Linda told me and I implemented within five minutes of walking in my door. People, it’s so simple, and yet so glorious. Fill your sink with very hot water and dish soap (wash the dishes later, so as to not waste it – Bonus Heloise Hint!) then scrub your fridge down with a sponge. If it’s really gross in parts, use the non-abrasive side of the sponge. Then – this is the key – dry it off with a flannelette cloth. I have a plethora of old flannelette receiving blankets I have kept since the boys were babies, and they work perfectly. They are decorated with puppies and giraffes, but they are effective.

Anyway. I must tell you that this has been life altering. For as long as I’ve had my fridge I’ve been trying things with vinegar and coconut oil and everything else, and the secret is hot water, dish soap, and drying with a flannelette cloth. I keep admiring my fridge in all its shiny glory.

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Five Fictional Characters That Describe Me

There’s a little meme that’s going around on social media and I find it fascinating, what fictional characters people identify with. I have always identified with Sally Albright on so many levels, but what about the other two? I thought about this for probably longer than I should have, as I sat in traffic and exercised on the elliptical trainer and stared at the sleet on the windshield as I waited for the kids at karate. Finally, I had it! I think we can all agree, it’s perfect.

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monica

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More magical journeys

Strange things are happening in the neighbourhood. There was a Home Depot cart in my back alley. It’s not uncommon to see carts from Walmart and Co-Op, both of which are within walking distance, but the nearest Home Depot is at least five kilometers away. Did someone take a cart and walk all the way to my back alley with it, before abandoning it to its fate? How else would it have gotten here? What was its journey, what was it carrying? These are questions that I am seriously wondering.

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Note the Budweiser can at its wheel. I suspect there are more cans in its basket, but I didn’t actually get out of the car to investigate.

The cart was there for a few days, then it moved to someone’s front lawn. Currently it’s residing on a nearby boulevard. Just across from its original position, a different cart appeared. I think it’s from Canadian Tire. The carts are multiplying.

Maybe I find myself somewhat obsessed with the journey of these carts because of my own irritation about people not returning carts to the proper corral. Obviously these carts were used for different purposes, and that’s fine. But as we all know, the people who leave their carts in random parking spaces, or worse, mere feet away from the corral, are the worst people in the world. Okay, maybe not the worst. Maybe lazy is a better word. Or inconsiderate of other people. Or making the store employees’ lives that much worse, when the corral is RIGHT THERE JUST PUT IT AWAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Tomato, to-mah-to.

Anyway, enough about the fascinating journey of the Home Depot cart and its new friend or possibly rival, the Canadian Tire cart.

I just thought of something. Maybe the Home Depot cart moved because of a turf war. Maybe this is a Sharks/ Jets kind of thing. Like this, but with carts.

Speaking of journeys, I have great news for those of you following along with my Kondo journey. The charity that was supposed to pick up my donations but didn’t called back and rescheduled. Hooray! Mark and my husband lugged all the bags back out onto the step early Friday morning, to the interest of a new addition to the neighbourhood: a skunk. Eeek! Fortunately the skunk scurried down the street and – possibly unfortunately – hid underneath a neighbour’s van. This neighbour has two noisy dogs, and I imagined the worst, but so far things have been non-stinky. Possibly Pepe le Pew found his way to an uninhabited-by-pets yard to stay in.

My life lately has been yoga, yoga, yoga, which is wonderful. Things are busy and hectic in the best way possible. We went to an information and Meet the Teacher night at the junior high, and the principal mentioned the active Parent Association, and the desperate need for a Treasurer, and my husband gave me a look that needed no verbal interpretation. I did NOT attend the subsequent meeting because we all know how that would have ended, and I really just can’t anymore.

We are having a real Calgary fall, which means that yesterday the dog park looked like this:

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Whereas today is freezing cold and rainy. I have brought out my warm, lined fall coat and I dub today’s Clothing Theme to be Sith.

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Come to the Dark Side! We have cookies.

Book Review: Do Your OM Thing

You guys, I’m participating in a book tour! I received an email a while ago gauging my interest in receiving a book for review – the book in question being Do Your OM Thing by Rebecca Pacheco. Usually the emails I receive are pitches to try out a new kind of toilet paper and write up my thoughts on it, or to see if my readers would be interested in a coupon code for beef jerky, in exchange for my honest review of a dried meat product. So I was kind of excited that TLC Book Tours thought I might be interested in reviewing a new yoga book. I agreed because a) I will never, ever turn down a free yoga book, b) the premise – which you can read here – about fitting off-the-mat yoga into your day-to-day life is relevant and interesting to me, and c) I loved the title. Hey, I’ve been putting the OM in OMG since 2008, so I love a good play on words.

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This book is an enjoyable book that reads like a blog – and no wonder, the author is a blogger at omgirl.com. It covers everything from the Yoga Sutras to chakras to spirituality, but you don’t need to be a yogi to be interested in this book. I think that this is relevant for everyone, in that the focus isn’t on crazy postures like this:

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but rather on how to live an authentically beautiful life. True, inner yoga. Because as we all know, it doesn’t matter if you can do this:

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if you’re an asshole, then you are not a yogi.

I promise, no more gratuitous yoga photos. Okay, maybe one more:

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As I went through the book, I marked passages that spoke to me. Here are a few of my favourites; maybe they will speak to you too.

Brahmacharya: Abstinence

The chapter on Brahmacharya deals with promiscuity in a very unique way. Most of us have a particular definition about abstinence or promiscuity, and it has to do with sexytimes. But a modern approach to this is very interesting: what if we dealt with energetic promiscuity? What if we looked at how we commit our time and energy to other people: are we present in our commitments or do we spread ourselves thin without paying much attention to any one thing? This really spoke to me, as I have a tendency to take on way more than I should. I had to practically force myself not to check off all the boxes when my older son’s school volunteer forms came home. No, Nicole, you do NOT need to say you’re available for everything. I have a tendency to say yes to unimportant things, which leaves less energy for actually important ones.

Food For Thought: “Committing ourselves to too many people and obligations in which we’re not truly invested can be a form of energetic promiscuity, which runs the risk of making us feel used up and discarded after.” – Right? Who can relate to that?

Aparigraha: Greedlessness

Sometimes it’s hard not to be greedy, but the antidote to this is gratitude for what we have. Clearing out the excess in my house from my recent Kondo-ing extravaganza has actually left me feeling grateful and immensely happy with the things I kept. Interesting note: the author discusses jealousy as being spiritual greed.

Food For Thought: “Whereas other negative emotions like fear and anger can have positive and productive applications, jealousy is a wounded, lame creature that gnaws away at the heart and contributes nothing in return. It’s corrosive and crappy for the person who feels it and has no impact on the person to whom it’s directed.” Exactly. I need to think about this next time I feel those jealousy pangs.

The Body

The chapter on our bodies and how we take care of them is beautiful; often we conflate what a person looks like with what it must feel like to be that person. The author discusses how what we embody on the inside shows in our appearance.

Food For Thought: “If you want to embody beauty, you’ll have to do things that genuinely make you feel beautiful…they frequently include smiling or laughing…The ways in which we choose to move our bodies and nourish ourselves are two of the greatest gifts we are given every day.”

Vishuddha/ Throat Chakra

We all know that words have meaning, and the wrong words can be very hurtful. We’ve all been there, we’ve all said things we didn’t mean in the heat of the moment, we’ve misspoken, we’ve communicated badly – it happens to everyone. But being conscious of your words, tone, and thoughts is so important. It’s something that I strive for; to think before I talk or type. Is what I’m going to say kind? Is it useful? Most importantly, would I want to be spoken to in that way myself?

Food For Thought: “If we say the words, we’ve created their energetic vibration in the world. Even if we’re the only ones who hear the negativity, it has an effect. The language of our words, spoken and unspoken, profoundly affects who we are and how we feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally.”

This book is full of gems, and is lovely and thought-provoking too. Not everyone is interested in the physical aspect of yoga, but the off-the-mat aspects are relevant to us all.

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A slight blip in my magical journey

“Things seem a lot busier with your yoga teacher training.” My husband said this to me over the weekend and it feels like A Massive Understatement. Saturday morning I got up early to bake a cake, then showered, bought groceries, took the kids to karate, and came home to frost and assemble the cake prior to heading off to the Saturday session of teacher training. Fifteen minutes after I got home in the late afternoon, the guests for Jake’s sleepover birthday party arrived. So things have been a bit hectic.

Happy hectic, though. The sleepover was a huge success; I really like the boys’ friends and we did get some sleep as well. The kids didn’t get much sleep, but I got a decent amount, so that’s all that counts, in my opinion. Everyone was in bed early last night and this morning we all felt pretty much rested for the busy week ahead.

I guess I’m not used to this level of busyness – there is something going on every night this week, except for tonight. Between karate, the Welcome Back Picnic, Meet The Teacher Night, and yoga teacher training, my evenings are all filled up. Plus, we have a very special day coming up – Jake is turning eleven!

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That’s one of my favourite photos, ever. And hey, I’m a brunette! And I have yet to develop those deep horizontal forehead lines. Please bear with me while I admire my youth for a moment, along with my super-cute Patriots fan.

So it was a busy, fun weekend, marred only by one little incident. As you know, I’ve been Kondo-ing my house, and all the bags and boxes of things to donate have been sitting in our pantry/ storage area. I gave a few boxes of my favourite things (older Lululemon, pretty sweaters, a dress) to a friend, the children’s outgrown winter coats, snowpants, hats and mitts are all going to the school for newcomers, and I had about twenty large bags and boxes that were slated for donation. My husband has been asking me every day WHEN those bags and boxes would be gone, to which I answered austerely, Saturday. Saturday they would all be gone.

A local charity, which regularly calls me for clothing/ toy/ household items had arranged to pick everything up on Saturday. I stipulated that it would be a large pickup, and they said that would be no problem, as long as I had the donations out by 8:00 am Saturday morning. For days I had been slowly bringing bags and boxes up every time I went downstairs, in preparation. Here’s a sample of what my front entry looked like, and this didn’t even include all of them:

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So when I got home on Saturday afternoon and the bags were still sitting on my front step, my husband was all sorts of unhappy. We waited…and waited…and waited…until finally, we reached a state of acceptance: the bags were not going to be picked up that day. One of my friends texted me to see if we’d had a pickup, because she was waiting for one as well.

Insert slight frowny face here.

Rain was in the forecast, and my husband was unwilling to have the tripping hazards back in our house, and so they are currently sitting in his truck, waiting to find a new home. In The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo talks about wishing our possessions a happy journey as they find their way to new owners. In my case, the journey seems to be stalled. I hope my old sheets and the Ally McBeal soundtrack aren’t feeling sad that they are in limbo right now. Don’t worry, guys. Someone is going to love you again soon.

New (School) Year, New Me

I have that autumnal Back To School Energy right now, that feeling that it’s A New Year, And A New You, and I’m brimming with goals and things to do and filling my days up with Productive Activities And Work-Related Things. Either it’s a coping mechanism for the house being dead quiet all day and my birds flying the nest, or it’s just a natural part of my yearly cycle; whichever it is, it’s a good feeling to Cross Things Off The Lists.

I am almost done Kondo-ing the entire house! I only have the kids’ schoolwork and artwork bins to take care of – things that probably should wait until AFTER the first week of school, because EMOTIONS – and I probably should take care of the storage room filled with old paint cans and, apparently, shoe boxes. Well, the paint cans can go to the firehall, and I think we can all agree that this will be a very pleasant task indeed, although not as pleasant as when the kids were small and the firefighters would kindly let them sit in the truck and give them fire safety colouring books. There’s a big, big difference in being an early-thirties mom with two adorable little boys, and being a forty-one year old woman lugging paint cans by herself. I mean, they probably aren’t going to give me the tour or let me sit in the truck.

That reminds me, I really should clean out the schoolwork bins sooner rather than later, because when Jake was in preschool I chaperoned the field trip to the firehall. I rarely volunteered for field trips, and so that probably indicates my feelings about the firehall. Anyway, the firefighters challenged two of the parents to a race, to see who could put on the firefighter’s outfit the fastest. Is it called an outfit? I don’t know. You know what I mean – the boots, overall pants, coat, helmet and everything. I was chosen to be one of those parents. Somewhere in one of those bins is a photo the preschool teacher sent me, of me in the firefighter outfit with Jake.

I should probably mention that I won the race. It was against the lone father who decided to chaperone. IN YOUR FACE, STEVE.

(His name may or may not have been Steve. It’s actually killing me that I can’t remember his name.)

My husband has been pretty busy these days, lots of regular stuff plus doing little things around the house like repainting the bathroom after filling giant holes in the wall. The contractors installed towel racks but didn’t use wall studs, and after four years one finally gave way, leaving gaping holes in the drywall. Luckily my husband is a handy kind of guy, but it still took a lot of work and a couple of trips to Rona and Home Depot to get new towel hooks. All of which is to say, I decided that I would take the car in to get an oil change, which is something – BLUE JOB – that he would normally do.

I know, I know, it’s totally retro of me to refer to vehicle maintenance as a Blue Job, but that’s the way it is in this house. I am totally cool with it.

Some of you may remember what happened the last time I took the car for an oil change, but this time, I thought, would be different. For one thing, there’s no nail bar at this dealership. For another, this dealership doesn’t require appointments but instead prides itself on quick oil changes. Or, express lubes.

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It sounds so dirty!

Anyway, my husband had informed me that there would be no charge, something about included with extended warranty, blah blah blah car stuff blah blah. When I got there, I confirmed this with the fellow who checked me in, and after Looking It Up In The System, he said that indeed, there would be no charge. Yay! I went to the waiting room to stare at the tropical fish tank, read Do Your OM Thing, and admire the chutzpah of a woman wearing the absolutely most colourful floor-length caftan I had ever seen.

You can probably guess the punchline here. When the lady at the service desk called me over, she charged me, and informed me that our two remaining free oil changes would not be free after all, for reasons which remain mysterious. I never know what to do in situations like this. I should probably be more assertive, and squeaky-wheel-ish, but I guess I’m not. When it comes to vehicle maintenance, I have absolutely no confidence in my ability to deal with things. I would have called my husband at work, but I knew he was on a conference call. So I paid it, went home, and texted my husband.

A livid phone call to the service manager, which I was not party to, has resulted in the admittance that the woman at the counter had made a mistake, a credit at the dealership, and much annoyance on my part. Why. WHY does dealing with vehicle stuff have to be so fraught for me? Why do I have no confidence in myself when it comes to cars? When am I going to figure out how to open the hood of my minivan? These are all very good questions and perhaps, in my quest for Kondo-ing everything, New Year, New Me, and reorganizing my life, I should work on this. Personal growth, the automobile edition.

Game of Thrones Syndrome

So here we are, the first day back at school. It’s a BIG day; one of my kids is in junior high now, and the other is finishing his last year at our much-loved elementary school.

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The kids are more like this:

But for the most part, all is roses and happiness and only slight disappointment over the assignation of option classes that were not overly desired.

For the most part, it does feel good to be back into the swing of things. I am not generally a huge fan of fall, mostly because I love summer, and because fall in this part of the world is a brief interlude before the long, long winter sets in.

Speaking of which, my husband and I watched the Netflix series The Get Down, which deals with kids in the Bronx in the 1970s. If you are a fan of hip-hop, rap, or disco music, I highly recommend this series. I am a fan of all three genres, and so I really enjoyed it.

Well, I mostly enjoyed it. A lot of the time I kept saying to my husband that I thought something awful was going to happen. Was their apartment building going to burn down? Was someone going to get shot on the subway? Was everyone going to meet the end in the most tragic way possible? I kept worrying and worrying as I watched the show, in an awkward, unsettled way. My husband was feeling the same way, and when the series ended on a happy note, I couldn’t figure out why I was stressed out watching a cheerful television series in which the young people are not the problem, they are the solution.

It is what my husband and I have dubbed “Game of Thrones Syndrome.”

Watching Game of Thrones has conditioned me to expect the absolute worst outcome in everything. Sure, that girl is singing beautifully, but someone is probably going to cut all their throats like in the Red Wedding. That kid who has the bootlegged tape of another MC? He’s probably going to have his penis cut off and mailed to his loved ones. Those two are romantically involved? Someone is probably going to poison one of them and then put the other secretly on a boat, floating down the Hudson River.

Anyway, I’m determined to enjoy fall – even if it is so very brief and is only a harbinger of WINTER IS COMING – and so this morning I dug out my tall boots, my scarves, and my long black flowy sweaters. I am eagerly anticipating the return of the Macintosh apples, and crunchy leaves and blue skies, but you can keep your pumpkin spiced anything. Blergh. That stuff is nasty.

The lotus blooms in mud, or something.

The long weekend is here, and then the kids start back at school on Tuesday. I seem to have reached a grizzled, jaded stage of motherhood where the cheerful articles about back to school and lunch making and activities make me smile ruefully. I mean, I was there once. At one point I was weighing the difference between having the kids go to a community school or a charter one, I was looking into the differences between traditional learning programs and Montessori. I spent countless hours wondering about the learning opportunities at the various preschools available to me and I even found myself on a frigid February morning in the parking lot hours before registration started, so that I could get the time slot I wanted. And now I just find myself impotently enraged about the 65 minute difference in start times between the boys’ schools, because damn, that is going to be inconvenient.

In other words, I’m shaking my liver-spotted fist, pulling on my sweatshirt that has baskets of flowers embroidered on it, and telling those damn kids to get off my lawn and stop playing that loud music. The next step is accusing the nurses of stealing my non-existent money, while wearing polyester pull-on pants that belong to someone else.

God bless you people, looking up school lunch ideas on Pinterest, and skewering tiny pieces of sandwiches with bamboo sticks, and making happy faces and cheese cut-outs with cookie cutters. I missed my window of opportunity to do such things; at this point in my life I am at peace with the fact that this is something I was never meant to do, and also I think my junior high student would possibly die of embarrassment if he opened his lunch to a sushi-rice sculpture in the shape of Chewbacca.

Remember the old days when we would eat lunch at school, and it would be a bologna sandwich, an apple, a juice box, and a cookie? Our mothers certainly didn’t spend any time wondering if that was “too boring” or “not varied enough.” Eat it or go hungry seemed to be the motto of the Eighties, and honestly, it’s not a bad motto. Hell, my kids have come home for lunch practically every day of their school lives, and they have eaten peanut butter bagels for each and every one of those days, so I’m not really concerned about them “being bored” with their lunches. Come to think of it, I eat the same exact lunch every day of the week, so maybe it’s a genetic thing. Maybe we are just a very boring people. I am okay with that.

A few days ago, I took the boys and some friends to the swimming pool – along with, apparently, the rest of the city – and the kids spent the entire time not being anywhere near me. They literally checked in only to retrieve their money for the snack bar, then wandered as far away as possible to eat said snacks. I’m not complaining, mind you. It was a nice opportunity to read a book on a beautiful day, and I had some sympathetic smiles for the moms who were more in demand than I was, rushing around on the deck and in the pool.

We had a lovely dinner, several weeks ago, with some old friends. My friend and I were reminiscing about us both being pregnant, at a fancy dinner downtown with my old boss and an older colleague. They had lovely houses, older children, and went on wonderful vacations, whereas we younger people were just starting out, in small apartments and un-renovated older houses. My friend (HI VALERIE) said, and I agreed wholeheartedly, “But I wasn’t unhappy then, in our little apartment. I guess it’s just all about being happy where you are.” That stuck with me, and it occurs to me that it is the key. Being happy where you are. Or, perhaps, blooming where you are planted.

And so I was thinking about this, as my “Facebook memories” keep showing me adorable photos of my kids in coordinating golf shirts for the first day of school, with their backpacks that are huge and round faces. Everything’s changing, but I’m happy where I am. I hope you are too.