Today is the twelfth day of Christmas, and I am celebrating with dental work! Apparently two fillings I have in my mouth, dating from 1982, are cracking and causing fissures in my molars. According to the dentist, four decades exceeds the maximum life expectancy for those metal fillings we got in the 80s, which was a surprise to me, as I thought those would follow me to my grave. I was wrong, though, and so I’m saying goodbye to the holiday season in a truly festive way.
I’m kidding, of course – not about the dental work, that is definitely happening – about saying goodbye to the festive season because as we all know, my switch flips from Festive Feelings to Fresh Start Energy on January 1st. Other than missing my friend Denise (HI DENISE), who always hosted an incredible Ukrainian Christmas party before she moved out of the country, leaving me with only my memories and Noelle, I don’t really consider anything past the seven swans a-swimming to be part of the holiday season.
If, however, you are still enjoying the festivities, may I suggest two holiday movies that were new to me this year? The first was Klaus – not to be confused with Claus – which was suggested by my younger son. It’s an animated movie – it was actually Norm MacDonald’s last movie – but I would not recommend it for young or sensitive children, as it’s quite dark and scary in parts. It’s an absolutely wonderful, very unique telling of the origins of Santa Claus lore; actual, traditional Santa Claus from an isolated island in northern Norway, not the Coca Cola Santa Claus that was popularized in early twentieth-century America. It is a beautiful movie of friendship, love, grief, and the conflicting motivations behind generosity.
The second movie was Hot Frosty, which also sounds like it could get a little jiggy-between-the-sheets, but it is actually a sweet holiday romance about a sexy snowman who comes to life and who brings a lot of happiness to the small, upstate New York town in which he finds himself. Fun fact: the sexy snowman is Ted from Schitt’s Creek. It’s very cute, and I think a person could easily watch this with tweens without any of the scarring that came from my Santa porn book review. Both movies are less than two hours, which I think is perfect. Do not come at me with those three hour movies, people, I am NOT interested. Those are just TOO long.
Speaking of too long, that is my main grievance about dental appointments. They seem to swallow up entire afternoons. I am not a person who has fear or anxiety about the dentist, as I have been very fortunate in that aspect, having not had dental work since these fillings found their metallic home in my molars. But what I lack in fear and anxiety, I make up with General Irritation at how long things take in the dental world. Every other unpleasant medical procedure is generally over pretty quickly – mammograms, Pap smears, the scale at the doctor’s office – but even a routine dental cleaning takes upwards of an hour.
And the scaling. Oh, the sound of that scraping on the teeth. At my last appointment in November, where the cracking was discovered, I asked if I could have ear buds in while my teeth were being scaled and cleaned. Why I didn’t figure this out before, I cannot say, but the second-best time to plant a tree is right now. Here’s the weird part: I put in a podcast to listen to and then, when the appointment was finished, a different podcast was playing. I have no recollection of the first podcast nor of the podcasts changing. People, I think that I somehow, against all odds, fell asleep. Either that or my soul actually left my body once the scaling began.
When I was relaying this information to my family, they stared at me in disbelief. My son asked how anyone could possibly sleep while someone was working on their mouth, and my answer is that I have no idea. I do remember, vaguely, moving the suction thing around my mouth as required, but other than that I am blank. The hygienist told me that she measured my gums with a pokey instrument, and then said I’m not sure if you noticed, while looking at me in a very odd way that indicated I was truly out of it. I sure didn’t notice, and I will tell you that I was slightly alarmed to see some tissues with bloody spots on them, presumably from my mouth. What happened to me? At least the suction instrument prevented me from drooling on myself.
Of course my son also asked if my shirt was tucked or untucked, but that is a useless question for a perimenopausal woman. Of course I was untucked! I haven’t tucked a shirt in for years. Also, since it was a cleaning, I didn’t have any kind of anesthetic, so HOW DID I FALL ASLEEP?
In my recent Ask Me Anything – which is still open, until the end of the month – Stephany asked (HI STEPHANY) what are some of your best life hacks, and I would say, based on recent events, to listen to earbuds while at the dentist. It might not make you fall asleep, but you may just hypnotize yourself into a strange fugue state and the time will fly by!
Elisabeth asked (HI ELISABETH) if I have always been an early riser, and the answer to that is yes. I think it’s imprinted in my soul, honestly. I love early mornings and always have; they feel magical to me. But even for a morning person like myself, I think that there are a few little hacks that make starting the day a bit easier and more pleasant. I like to set myself up for a good start by getting the coffee pot ready the night before, and also by laying my clothes out, including socks, underwear, and hair scrunchies. This way I can start the coffee immediately and without fumbling around; by the time I have put on the already-laid-out athletic wear the coffee is ready, and I’m all set up for my morning yoga and workout.
More generally, I think my best life hack is to make things easier in any way that I can. May we be safe, may we be happy, may we be healthy, may we live with ease, as the maitri mantra says. Life is hard! Why not take the option that makes things easier? For me, that means minimizing boring and tedious daily decisions by making them ahead of time; this includes but is not limited to daily outfit choices, weekly meal plans and the associated necessary groceries, which Peloton ride to take and when, daily schedule including workouts and writing time, and which book to read next. The latter is almost entirely dependent on library due dates, which segues nicely into this week’s books, which was a mixed bag.
Weekly Reading
Moon Road. This was rough. I think the only thing worse than losing a child would be to have a child go missing, and that is the premise of this book. Nineteen years after a young woman goes missing, her estranged parents get together for a road trip across Canada to see the bones that have turned up; the mother is to give a DNA test to see if it’s a match, and the father wants to see the site of the bones. They drive from an unnamed small Northern Ontario town east of Sudbury all the way to Tofino, and if you’ve ever driven in any of those areas in between, you will be struck by how perfectly the author captures the small town stopping points. This is a devastating book on grieving and loss, and it might be one of the saddest books I have ever read. It’s incredibly compellingly written, the characters coming to life in a way that is rare. One of the characters is so dislikable, but you can really understand WHY she is so dislikable. The subject matter is so grim, though, be warned. I had to put the book down and stare into the distance at one part, when the mother goes to Prince George with missing posters, and a woman at the Husky station shows her where she can put them up. There are many posters already there. As any Canadian will know, this is along the Yellowhead, known as the Highway of Tears. Worth the read but prepare yourself for some hard truths. An absolute work of heart-wrenching art.
Dear Fahrenheit 451: Love and Heartbreak in the Stacks. After Moon Road I needed something really light, and this fit the bill. It’s a book about books! How meta. It’s written by a librarian, and is made up of love letters and breakup letters to a variety of books, as well as lists of books to read for different moods. I will admit I gave it the side eye early on, when the author proudly stated that she’d named her first son Waldon after reading Thoreau, but after I got over that hurdle I enjoyed the cute little letters. She covers a very wide range of books, from The Giving Tree to The Virgin Suicides, from Colour Me Beautiful to To Kill A Mockingbird. If you’re a real book lover, you may just enjoy this. It’s a little repetitive, but hey, who among us, am I right? I feel fairly certain I myself am guilty of repeating myself on any number of topics, including my feelings on Thoreau and also shopping cart carrels.
Husbands and Lovers. Friends, I know better. I KNOW BETTER. I should never have picked this up. Here’s the thing: historical fiction almost never works for me. Dual timelines in which family secrets are revealed and incredible coincidences occur never work for me. This book was no exception. I found I just could not care about any of the characters nor could I connect with the story. I should have known and, when it comes to my evergreen goal of DNFing books I am not enjoying, well, GOAL INCOMPLETE. If you are a historical fiction person, you might like this: the premise is interesting enough about a woman who goes searching for her family history so her son can have a kidney transplant, but it turns out that history is complicated, etcetera etcetera I don’t even KNOW because the execution just didn’t do it for me. I’m sure this is a Me Problem, not a This Book Problem, but all the little twists and turns that all tied up in a neat little bow at the end just felt trite and irritating.
Well, wish me luck, friends. I’m hoping I can recapture that fugue state for my dental work this afternoon, or at the very least, that the freezing will wear off so I’m not drooling and slurring through my weekly writing group meeting. Take care, everyone. xo
Earbuds at the dentist is genius! Also– Dorothy and I loved hot frosty– but it was really truly delightfully terrible
It was but it was just so lovely!
Sending you good luck at the dentist, Nicole and at your Writing Group meeting…
And goodbye to your long-serving fillings… Nu’s filling came out last weekend–after 4 years–so your 4 decades are impressive! The dentist said that for emergencies, the pharmacy has a compound you can use to pack the crater yourself. I’d never heard that before! Is this common knowledge?!
I too have fallen asleep at the dentist, albeit when I had young kids 🙂
_Moon Road_ sounds like a tough and worthy read. I wonder if my library has it…
Wow and here I was thinking my fillings were bullshit, not lasting until my death. I have never heard of that compound! I wonder if it’s like wax for braces?
Moon Road is so good BUT SO SAD OMG MAYA.
I had a bunch of fillings replaced around the same time, I think in my 40s. ‘Tis the season (of life).
We enjoyed Hot Frosty, too. I think of the three bad holiday romances we watched this year it was the most memorable.
There’s something so fun about a bad holiday romance!
Well, Happy Epiphany! Sounds like it’s going to be a fun (?) day for you. No, I don’t think I’ve EVER fallen asleep at the dentist! But the earbuds are a great idea- mainly because my hygienist always wants to talk and talk. And she asks me questions, which is always confusing because there’s no way to answer while having my teeth cleaned??? Anyway I hope it all goes well.
Moon Road sounds so good… the question is, can I handle it? I think I’ll put it on my TBR and see what happens.
Jenny, I don’t know if you can handle it or not but if you can – wow, it is so incredible.
I actually love the feeling of January and everything new. It’s always a good time to get things done. Wearing ear buds is a great hack, I love my dentist and his hygienist but I truly hate dental work of any kind. I will hope for a fast appointment for you!
I hope so too, Anna, but I fear it will be in the 90 minute category! Luckily I have some good podcasts downloaded.
I think I might have a filling that needs to be fixed up. I think the standard length of them lasting is SUPPOSED to be 10 years, but I suspect most last a lot longer than that.
“People, I think that I somehow, against all odds, fell asleep. Either that or my soul actually left my body once the scaling began.” Ha. I’m pretty sure I have also fallen asleep at the dentist. I find it strangely relaxing. Like Maya, I suspect it was when my kids were younger and anywhere I could lay down and avoid being needed by a toddler was basically a 5-star vacation.
Hahaha it’s all about perspective!
Ten years? Wow, I guess mine have really outlasted expectations.
I cannot imagine falling asleep at the dentist! Then again, I’ve never slept on a plane. Another thing I’ve never done is have a cavity 🤓 so I don’t have any dental work experience.
Can I just say that Walden was the worst book I was ever forced to read? Like, nothing else even comes close! I also have never been overly enthused by Beatriz Williams books. They’re fine; just not for me.
Never slept on a plane, ever? Not even international travel?
UGH Walden! Solidarity, sister.
I love getting up early—when it’s on my own terms, if that makes sense. There’s something so peaceful about waking up early on my time. I was up at 6 this morning, just mulling around in a quiet house before getting ready to do my soul homework.
On the other hand, I definitely don’t love getting dental work done. Wearing earbuds is such a great tip—I can’t stand the sound of the drill! It always makes me imagine pain that isn’t even there. 🤣
I definitely know what you mean! I don’t like being “forced” to do certain things, but I often enjoy those things if I do them of my own volition!
I have so much to say! First, earbuds at the dentist – amazing. I have had an overly chatty hygienist in the past and maybe that would have stopped her from asking a bazillion questions while I had dental equipment in my mouth. Please, can we just NOT TALK during dental appointments? I never used to fall asleep on airplanes but have found that podcasts can make me enter that fugue state and I will doze off which is really amazing for someone like me that needs more rest. But I laughed so much about you falling asleep during this procedure so THANK YOU FOR THAT because I need more laughter in my life.
Also, I need to read this: “Life is hard! Why not take the option that makes things easier?” I’ve been noting all the tasks that require the use of both hands and for a moment thought that maybe I should practice doing them one handed before surgery but then I thought – why would I torture myself and make things harder now? It’s not like I’m going to train myself to not need both hands in the span of the week. I am hoping my husband will be on board with taking the easier option during my recover. I would prefer that we get take out several times a week to make things easier on everyone. He keeps saying he can cook… and he can but he doesn’t enjoy it so why make yourself miserable when we can throw money at the problem…
Moon Road sounds like a powerful book. I kind of like to torture myself by reading really sad things… but I will make note to not read that on an airplane… Have you read “When Breath Becomes Air”? It is incredible but SO SAD and I finished it on an airplane and then sobbed reading the epilogue that was written by his widow. Oof.
YES, why not do something to make things easier? No need to go single-handed until single-handedness is required. Also, I will be interested to see if Phil is going to cook for six weeks!
Moon Road is SUCH a powerful, incredible read. I recommend it but I don’t, you know? It depends on how your mental space is. I read it while the guys were gone and whooooaaa that wasn’t the best idea. But so good. When Breath Becomes Air has been on my TBR forever and I just haven’t pulled the trigger yet!
Hot Frosty was one of those movies that was so ridiculous that it was funny. How he kept “melting”! Ha. I am a fan of historical fiction, however if there is a part of a woman (or a whole woman facing backward) on the cover, it’s an automatic no-read.
Hot Frosty was just so fun! And I loved the posse of older ladies.
I love getting up early, I think it’s my natural default, to enjoy the quiet before the world gets busy. I have the book Moon Road on hold at the library and don’t mind “tough” reads. I find them realistic and part of why I read and watch movies is for the emotional stretch I receive from the experience.
I also loved Klaus! I’ve watched it several times since it came to Netflix – so good.
I think you might like reading Moon Road, Jacquie. It is such a sad topic but the writing is so incredible. I didn’t want to put it down because I needed to know what happened! Also this book is like a how-to on making a great character arc!
I also watched Hot Frosty and was pleasantly surprised by it-but then my expectations were so low that the only way it could go was up! We watched The Front Room and The Kindergarten Teacher this weekend and they were both great. I’ll be writing about them in my Substack soon, so be on the lookout. Also, I just finished Long Island Compromise. (I believe you recommended it?) I hated the beginning but the last third was so great that I forgave you immediately. Ha!
I did recommend it – I thought it was a really incredibly written book, there were so many layers! The end! The end was astounding.
I will be on the lookout for your Substack – I MISS YOU IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG!!!
I hope your filling replacement went well, Nicole! I get so stressed out over dental exams and cleanings, even though my current dentist and hygienist are very kind and gentle. I had a couple of terrible experiences in the past, so I have trust issues! And you’re right – the appointments are SO long!
I’m with you on the three-hour movies. I don’t have time for that!
Hi Michelle! It went okay except my entire face was frozen for over five hours. I was pretty hungry, I’ll tell you! But it’s all done now, whew.
I am due a dental appointment. Maybe I should try the earbuds. I am a nervous dental patient, mainly because I had a very bad dentist when I was a teenager. A podcast might be just what I need … falling asleep while there sounds like the best thing ever, although I don’t like my chances. I have a lot of those old fillings being monitored so I always dread the dentist finally deciding they need to be replaced.
So many people had such bad experiences when they were younger! I was lucky I guess. Dental work is a literal pain. The earbuds helped although there was a lot of drilling to take out the old fillings, so they didn’t help as much as with the cleaning.
dental work is never fun and I had plenty, last being the tooth extraction. More to come as I’ll do an implant of this tooth. hope your procedure goes well. great idea with the ear plug !
Yikes, that does not sound fun Coco!
I hope your dental work went well. I have been wearing earbuds at the dentist for years (even before there were earbuds! And it was old headphones. I did it first for a root canal I was nervous about. I have never ever fallen asleep though!
Pat, it went okay – I was frozen for over five hours though! I was still kind of sore yesterday but I think it’s better today.
At my kids’ dentist there is a TV mounted to the ceiling and they get to pick something to watch. I’m pretty sure this is how Bluey came into our lives.
I do find there is something very relaxing about being at the dentist – the reclined chair, the soft lighting, my hygienist is very chatty and has a soothing voice. And now that they have that thing they put in your mouth to keep it open, it all requires very little effort on my part.
I don’t know if I could read Moon Road – missing/dead/traumatized children isn’t for me these days. I can’t even watch Law and Order: SVU anymore.
Oh Diane, this was the first I had experienced the thing they put in your mouth to keep it open and HELLO, GAME CHANGER. Wow, was that ever helpful!
Do NOT read Moon Road because wooooof it was such a rough read – I mean, I’m glad I read it. I don’t regret it. But I had bad dreams and it affected my mood for days.
Came back here to tell you that I was just reading a list of “most anticipated 2025 releases” and saw this:
Maggie Su, Blob: A Love Story: Blob follows a young woman who discovers a sentient blob and tries to turn it into her ideal boyfriend.
OMG. OMG SARAH. I feel like we should read this. Together? Weird book club?
Can I tell you that I have thought about listening to a podcast with my earbuds at the dentist, but feel weird asking the hygienist if I can do that? I go to the dentist on Monday and I think I will be brave and ask! It’s just so BORING and all I can do is listen to the weird noises. No thanks! (They have a TV that plays funny animal videos but you can’t see it when you’re leaned back in the chair, argh.)
I’m going to be a HARD NO on Moon Road, but may pick up the Beatriz Williams book even though you didn’t like it. But I’ve read a few books by her and usually like them!
Stephany, you should ask! I just said that it’s hard for me to listen to the scraping, and they were like “sure of course!” My main complaint about the dentist is how long and boring the appointments are and this helped. Although for my filling replacement they didn’t help as I couldn’t hear much through the drilling. Ooops.
I hate the dentist. My dentists have all been nice people, and some have been more efficient than others, but I hate all of them. I always thought about listening to my audiobook but felt that it would be rude for some reason. Your metal fillings are superior to mine, as all but one of mine needed to be replaced about 20 years ago, and recently even some of the replacements had to be replaced (and the final metal one). However, KNOCK ON WOOD, I have not had to have any new cavities filled for a while! Unfortunatley, one of the old fillings fell out about 4 times and I had it redone, and finally the dentist said I should get a crown, but my insurance did not cover me for crowns at that dentist, so I swapped and the new dentist said I did NOT need a crown (yay) and she hooked me up with a new superior filling (which I still have). TLDR…I have spent a lot of time at the dentist! I am very glad that you can fall asleep there and I really wish that I could. Also I recently listened to a podcast where the guy went to Mexico to have his dental work done and he said it was far superior to the US. Okay, that is enough about dentists! Have a wonderful day!
Ugh, so sorry you’ve had to spend so much time at the dentist! But teeth are so important – yet, the dentist is universally unpleasant. Or so I thought – maybe Mexico is a utopia of dental care!
You know that I DO have severe dental anxiety, so I got immediately stressed for you about this awful start to the year. I’m very glad that your appointment, if lengthy, went… well? Did it go well? I guess having no memory of the dental procedures is a positive in my book. And I am very curious about which spell casting podcast it was that lulled you into catatonia.
Suzanne, it went okay. I was frozen for a lot longer than they said. Also, my eye was frozen? So that was weird. Oh, and I actually saw sparks when they froze me (not actual sparks, I think they hit a nerve). But it’s all done now, so that’s something. The podcast was useless for this appointment though, because the drilling was too loud for me to hear it. I guess it only works for cleanings. The podcast was Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend that lulled me to sleep/ catatonia. I’m not sure I would describe it as a soothing podcast but I guess it worked.
I’ve never had a filling replaced, but they are starting to fail and the teeth crack and then I need a crown. I honestly didn’t know getting them replaced was an option. I’m going to think about this a bit.
When I had my wisdom teeth out, I listened to music on my walk man, because I didn’t want to go under. I had novocaine (of course) and a bit of laughing gas. I loved it. I was stoned, I guess, and I remember wondering if I could talk the dentist into pulling out all of my teeth. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep at the dentist, but I did fall asleep getting an MRI.
Lol “will he pull all my teeth” – that’s some good drugs!
I think if your teeth crack a lot that a crown might be the only option, but I didn’t go to dental school so can’t say for sure!
You had me laughing! “the second-best time to plant a tree is right now.”
My hygienist doesn’t use a loud metal scraper any longer, so that part isn’t difficult for me. But with yours being loud and annoying, I say the (apparently) ear buds and soothing podcasts work! How did you fall asleep? It’s a Christmas Miracle for sure!
My hygienist and I literally laugh and cut up for the entire 45 minutes; I mean, she actually gives me mouth breaks so our conversation flows….and not the drool. 🙂
I hope all went well and you don’t have to do this part ever again!
Awww your hygienist sounds amazing, Suz!
Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family, Nicole!
Oh, I have those fillings, too….and my dentist looked at them and said they’re in really good shape and asked where I got them from (who did them) and I don’t know! I was young and my parents took me and I didn’t remember who/where! Did you, by any chance, get silver again or did you go with the newer ceramic that matches your teeth? I almost wish mine would need to be replaced so I can go with ceramic and not have silver in my mouth! LOL But going through the process would not be fun!!
M, they didn’t give me an option, they just gave me the porcelain/ ceramic ones that match my teeth. It’s not like people could really see the metal ones, but they kind of could because I often laugh with my mouth really wide open. So I personally think they look prettier! Now, will they last forty years like the metal ones, who knows. Probably not. But they do look nice! The process wasn’t super fun but it’s all done now!
I have done the earbud/audiobook thing, too, and I have also been known to start to doze at the dentist. I don’t use anesthetic, either, but I know I’m pretty much one of the only people who does that. 😉 (Pain is short-lived, the drooling and numbness drive me more bonkers…) Glad you figured out that hack, too. It makes those visits just a bit nicer, doesn’t it? 🙂
The drooling and numbness was terrible! And it lasted over five hours, so that was a bummer.