On the very first leg of our journey to Italy, as we settled ourselves into on the plane, three women took their seats in the row in front of us. They were all very attractive and stylish, and approximately ten to twelve years my senior. One of them turned around and informed us that they would be connecting to Rome, on a two week girls’ trip. We are going to Rome too, I began, but it was clear that this woman was interested in monologue, not conversation. She continued to talk, informing me that on her last long-distance flight, she met the Man Of Her Dreams, who was on his way to give a speech to the United Nations. Before I could respond, she said that he hadn’t returned her phone calls yet but that was probably because he was doing medical work in the Amazonian rainforest. The best thing is, she continued, he didn’t wear a wedding ring.
I glanced at her companions, who were silently staring straight ahead.
It was a lot of information to process in ninety seconds, but by the time we landed in Calgary for our connection I had mentally sketched out an outline for a novel based just this conversation, if one could call it a conversation. I also considered my husband, who rarely, if ever, wears his wedding ring. Perhaps the two of us appeared to be on some kind of illicit, Me and Mrs. Jones-style trip of our own.
I love meeting people and learning their stories, and rarely do I get such a complete character sketch in such a short period of time. I always want to know more: where are they going, what are they doing, what are their lives like? I wondered this about the young English woman with a heavy Manchester accent who boarded the Vaporetto in Venice, with the largest wheeled duffle bag I had ever seen. She wore an enormous, but cozy, cream fleece sweatsuit, her ponytail secured with an absolutely gigantic coordinating cream scrunchie. She had two male friends with her and talked incessantly for the entire ride, so of course I listened in. I brought my speaker, she said, patting a small bag by her feet, So we can keep the sound UP. What sound, I wanted to ask, where are you staying that you can do that? That’s a nice place, isn’t it? she suddenly gestured around her. All those green umbrellas. What a specific detail! My head whipped around, looking at all the Venetian buildings, unable to see one green umbrella. What green umbrellas? I missed the green umbrellas!
On our very last day of the trip, we had a small group guided tour of the Pantheon; it was so small, in fact, that it was just us with one other person, Joan, a woman from Boston. This happened to be on the day of the US election, so I asked Joan how she was doing. Ludgio, our guide, listened to our exchange and then said I understand this is a stressful election, but I don’t know why. What is it all about? Joan explained very briefly, and then Ludgio said something that was both astonishing and also kind of refreshing: I have heard the name Donald Trump, but I don’t know anything about him. Talk about ignorance being bliss. IMAGINE. Imagine how wonderful it would be to go through life like that, having never heard that grating voice, having never been exposed to such views! Sure, I’ve heard of the guy, but…
Granted, Ludgio is an Albanian ex-pat living in Italy, who lost all his life savings opening up an art gallery that closed during the pandemic, so it’s not like he was living a life of ease. I’m sure Albania has had its share of political unrest, but I am – maybe blissfully? – ignorant on the topic, as well as on the politics of Italy. Our hotel in Rome was right beside the Italian Parliament building, and every afternoon reporters would be typing away on their laptops, accessing the hotel Wi-Fi. I eavesdropped on their conversations but my Italian is pretty rudimentary, and so I remain ignorant.
Ludgio said something incredibly inspiring, though. He told me that he wakes up every day and has his espresso while looking up the tours he was scheduled to work; he worked to pay his bills and then he came home to paint, have a nice meal, and maybe drink a beer with friends. Anywhere you go, you can live a good life, he said, Just try to live a happy life. I feel like Ludgio had seen some things, and here he was, living his best life, an artist who was making a living talking about art history, while selling paintings on the side.
Ludgio wasn’t the only Albanian we met. In Venice we ate at an Albanian family-owned place, and they were really doing an incredible job for Albanian tourism, if such a thing exists. The only exposure I have had to Albania involves the Alice Munro short story The Albanian Virgin, in which a young Canadian girl sneaks off her cruise ship to take a horseback guided tour, and ends up getting shot and kidnapped by a mountain tribe. She develops Stockholm Syndrome, after which she falls in love and runs away with a Franciscan priest. Based on that story, I’d never considered it as a travel destination. These fellows were convincing me otherwise, talking about the beaches, mountains, and pure beauty of the country. They insisted on treating us to shots of grappa after our meal, and so we left with very warm feelings about the Albanian community. Maybe I will visit Albania! If I do, hopefully I won’t end up in a hostage situation.
Speaking of Canadian literature, after our tour of the Pantheon my husband and I climbed the steps of the monument to Vittorio Emmanuel II, which gave panoramic views of Rome. A woman asked if I would photograph her, and she gave me exact instructions on how to do that, which I genuinely appreciated. I found out she was from Poland. Are you from America? she asked in a very strident voice, to which I responded quickly in the negative. Oh! Canada! My favourite author is from Canada! Have you heard of Margaret Atwood? WELL. I could hardly believe that I would find a fellow Margaret Atwood fan in Rome, of all places, from Poland, of all places. We had a great conversation about The Edible Woman before we went our separate ways.
I did a lot of reading while on trains and planes, in between all my people watching, and so I have many books to tell you about, and I will, a little later. I did want to mention that I had a DNF this week, which I had downloaded to my Kobo only because it was immediately available and I was running out of reading material before my flight home. It was The Au Pair Affair by Tessa Bailey, and listen. I know a lot of you out there love the spicy open-door romance, but to me this was just a really long modern Harlequin-style soft-core porn. Which is fine! I’m not judging. Whatever floods the basement! But I just don’t personally like reading about throbbing cocks and Cardi B-style WAPs. In the same way that I find action movies boring, I find spicy sexy books to be whatever is the opposite of erotic. I never think that I’m a prude, but then I read something like this and I think…I guess I am? The funny thing is that when I was searching for something to read, I saw the author’s name and, like Ludgio with Trump, thought Tessa Bailey, I know that name, but…
Friends, I think I’m finally over my jet lag! I had an absolutely epic, ten hours of uninterrupted sleep on Saturday night and my eyebags went from steamer trunks to pocketbooks. Today is Remembrance Day, which means that it is also the end of Tiny Secret Festive Season, and although I haven’t talked about it, you can bet that I have been celebrating.
I have also been celebrating being reunited with Rex, who has also just gotten over his exhaustion from his vacation. It’s hard work, playing all day every day for three weeks, let me tell you. Especially when there are Halloween parties to attend:
So it’s back to regular programming for us: cooking, writing, and walking down the Golden Mile. I hope you had a great weekend, friends. xo
Well, thank goodness! I was very Rex-deprived, and the photo of him in his Halloween costume came just in time.
I sure wish I didn’t know anything about Donald Trump. Ludgio did have some inspiring words though. It’s pretty interesting to get away and meet people who have lived a very different life, and hear their viewpoints.
I also love stories- like I’ll always wonder where someone is going, why they’re wearing that, where they’re from, etc. I’m usually too shy to strike up a conversation with strangers, so I just watch and wonder (and, pick up little clues, which I weave into the story of them I’m concocting in my mind.)
So the Tiny Secret Festive Season is over- I guess that means we’re into full-blown holiday now, hooray!
I’m pretty open to conversing with strangers under any circumstances, and this was paydirt! I mean, I didn’t even say a word to her – she turned to me and just started talking! It gave me LOTS to think about!
That first lady sounds exactly like someone who I would not want to sit next to on a long flight. I once was reading my book with my earphones in and my seatmate kept tapping me on the arm to talk to me! I would take out an earbud, listen for as little as I could to be polite and then put it back in when there was a slight lull and then he would tap me again! I was so surprised by his brazenness and lack of social cues.
I have been to Albania and it is beautiful! I stayed mostly on the coast, but the Aegean is very beautiful and the coast was too. I am actually planning on going back there this spring/summer to do some hiking, as they also have stunning mountains. The people there are very nice and it is still much cheaper than the other parts of Europe. Plus I have some Lek left over and there is nowhere to spend or exchange it except Albania!
Wow that is WEIRD. I think basically everyone would be good about reading the social cue of “I have earbuds in.” But I guess apparently not!
I should have known you would have been in Albania! It sounds like a gorgeous country!
When we were flying back from Cuba Matt was sick to his stomach – food poisoning, hangover, dunno – and the older man beside us kept motioning for me to take out my earbuds so he could ask questions while Matt was in the bathroom, as if he was annoyed by my being able to think of anything else. What was I supposed to do, help him puke?
“Whatever floods the basement” LOL I’m never going to get *that* out of my head now!
Oh to be Ludgio… I had hoped never to have to think of the jerk again…
This was such a classic Nicole post, and I want to talk about everything! The lady with the maybe boyfriend! The UK DJ and the green umbrellas! Did you and R play up your tryst-y vibe? Rexie that little devil <3! Tiny Secret Festive Season has commenced! eeeeeee! Excitement overload! I'm so glad you're back… and that you have all this wealth of new experiences and absolutely GORGEOUS photos to share.
And we didn't even get to the books yet… XOXO
Lol you know me, Maya, if a post isn’t chaotically touching on several subjects at once, it’s not a post!
Ha, it’s like that “let’s pretend we are strangers meeting in the bar” but forever!
Yay Rex! I bet he had a great time playing like a maniac every day.
Gotta love a one way conversation! I mean, she has no way of knowing whether folks are married or not besides looking for rings since they’re not going to get a word in edgewise. And then is the phrase “green umbrellas” a code for something? So many mysteries and it’s going to make for one hell of a book!
Hahaha I didn’t even think of that – the man of her dreams probably didn’t get a chance to say what his marital status was!
I often look at my kittens and envy how they don’t know anything about DT. I had not considered the possibility of such a person, but I don’t live abroad.
Were you worried about being taken for an American? Noah is traveling to London next month and I was wondering if it would come up for him.
That’s the thing, Steph, it was just such a refreshing reminder that not everyone in the world is affected on a daily basis by such a person. I find that hopeful.
Basically every Canadian really really really dislikes being mistaken for an American at the best of times, but particularly during this season. I guess it would be similar to a NZ being taken for an Australian, or a Scottish person being taken for British. It’s a real thing! My husband backpacked back in the 90s and it was common for Canadians to sew a Maple Leaf on their backpacks/ clothes.
That woman in front of you on the flight! Wow! I want to feel sorry for her friends who stared ahead and did not comment and yet, they decided to go on a 2 week trip with her, so there’s that… That’s the kind of nightmare seatmate I dread on flights. I am NOT a talker on a flight. I mean I will make exceptions – like one time I struck up a convo w/ a guy in first class and it turned out his girlfriend lived in Paris and he was going to be there for Thanksgiving and I was, too, so I actually went to his girlfriend’s apartment for Thanksgiving during my trip which I know some will find nuts… but he was a marathoner (and runners tend to be GOOD PEOPLE) plus he was a professor at a well-regarded university in Maine. So I felt the chances of me being kidnapped/murdered were very low. And it was a delightful evening. But that is the exception. I never talk on flights.
My husband also does not wear his wedding ring. He has horrible eczema so wearing a ring makes it worse. I think some people likely judge him for that decision but oh well. I only wear my wedding band and only wear my engagement ring for special occasions. It has been very hard to get a proper fit since I have child-like fingers. I had it resized to 3.75 (!!!) a few years ago and it still swings around when I am wearing it… So it’s just best to stick with my wedding band. I would feel naked without it, though!
Oh to live in a world where I did not know who Donald Trump was. He makes my blood BOIL. I don’t know that I’ve ever loathed someone as much as I loathe that man. But your tour guide has clearly seen some things… I love doing walking tours while traveling. You learn way more than you could on your own. I often traveled alone when I went to Europe so it was also a nice way to have some company and I often met the nicest people! In fact, on that same Thanksgiving trip, I met a cool woman from London who was there while her husband worked and we ended up spending the day together! We had lunch and then wandered the streets of Paris which was very fun. So I can be social but the bar is high for me to talk to a stranger…
What cool meetings you had, Lisa! I’m glad you took the (very low) chance of being kidnapped/ murdered because that sounds absolutely delightful!
Your fingers are tiny! I have enormous hands. My fingers are so long I have to buy extra-large gloves, and any athletic or running gloves, I have to buy in men’s sizes.
Yes, you want to go to Albania. The country is chaotically beautiful, the food is like Italy, but also like Austria and the Middle East. Taking care of guests is a sacred obligation for Albanians. Everyone will help you; I got into a car with three men by myself (there is no bus system in Tirana, the capital, everything runs by private cars turned into group taxis) and I was taken safely to the next town and given advice on ice cream shops and how to walk to the Roman ruins. My air bnb host came at 3 am to make sure I got a taxi; otherwise, he would have been prepared to drive me to the airport himself. Besides, the history of Albania is a lesson is survival and taking care of yourself and your family in any situation. Your chances of being kidnapped are not non-existent, but it is far safer than traveling in the US.
Wow, Kay, that sounds honestly incredible! I will definitely consider it! It looks like an absolutely beautiful country, and it sounds like the people are great too. Thanks for the info!
Rex is the OPPOSITE of a dog who should have devil horns. Look at his grin!
My husband made some comment about the leadership of India yesterday and it occurred to me that I have NO IDEA about the leaders of India and even China and how silly is that because they are the most populous countries IN THE WORLD. *sigh* I have guilt over how I spend my time not studying international relations.
I know, Engie, I am woefully uninformed! I should really work on that.
Rex is to be admired for his tireless work at making the world a happier, cuter place. It’s a tough job and someone has to do it – he’s selfless!
Agh. I love to eavesdrop conversations on public transit. It can be fascinating. I definitely sketch out little stories about the people I see or meet tangentially. I love that you already have a book premise from the encounter. It sounds like a bestseller to me…
I eavesdrop probably way too much, but I think if people are speaking loudly in public places, then it’s only to be expected to be overheard!
Rex is tireless in his work!
I so needed this today. Your cheery, fun voice, sharing the details you notice in your life. It helps me get through these very dark days.
Big hug, my friend. xoxo
It is understandable if I never feel joy again, after this election. And yet, during this post I felt sneaking little hints of it. The lady on the plane, with the friends staring straight ahead. Albania, and “Based on that story, I’d never considered it as a travel destination.” The dog in his Halloween costume.
Sending you a great big hug, Swistle, and if you’re on IG I could send you the videos from the kennel, with all the dogs frolicking around in their Halloween costumes. It is amazing.
I wonder if that woman’s friends had tried to talk to her about The Man of Her Dreams before, and she shot them down? Perhaps she is, as unlikely as it seems, a good travel companion otherwise? But wow, two weeks is a long trip if she really is Like That. Great story, not a great travel companion!
C, I got the feeling that this had been the subject of many a conversation between the three of them! I hope their trip went well but WHEW it seemed like a lot!
The funny thing is that when I was searching for something to read, I saw the author’s name and, like Ludgio with Trump, thought Tessa Bailey, I know that name, but… LOL LOL LOL— I love when you bring your threads ack together, and this was good one. (I also do not enjoy her books)
Thanks so much Sarah! (also I had no idea TB was so…porny?) (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
I enjoyed this post so much! I definitely wouldn’t enjoy that first woman on the plane, though. Be like Ludigo. I need that on a T-shirt. 🖤
I love hearing about your travels, and I love how you write. I can’t wait to read your book.
Oh Kari, that’s so kind of you – thank you!
A+ post, thank you so much.
My in-laws have been to Albania more than once, primarily for non-tourist reasons, and that really love it — though my father-in-law does have a passport theft story which I will need a refresher on before I pass it on. My memory is that it ended happily but had many twists and turns.
Oooh that’s another vote for Albania – well, maybe I SHOULD go!
Sounded like a marvelous excursion! ..and I want to hang out with Ludigo. His life sounds charming.
He was such a charming guy!
You met some interesting people on your trip, and I loved reading about them! You do have enough fodder for a second novel! I’m certain that everyone you met was delighted to meet you! My husband and I have wedding rings. but we never wear them. Rings are so dangerous when doing ranch work, or anything with your hands. I had a mildly scary experience, and my husband had a very scary experience – enough to put us off rings forever!
Awww, the gnome! And Awww, Rex in his Halloween costume!
Oh yes, Michelle, they are so dangerous to wear with any kind of machinery! I have heard so many terrifying stories!
Oh, it feels so good to get that good sleep in after a long trip. That woman in your first paragraph . . . dear God, I think I would have had trouble not saying something rude to her. She sounded obnoxious. Yeah, my husband doesn’t wear a wedding ring, ever. Hopefully, the guy is blowing her off!
Hahaha I found it so funny and interesting – like, that is a LOT of information to give to total strangers!
Oh Ludgio lives a very charmed life to not know who the felon is!
Doesn’t he though!
Oh, I love the pictures taken on your trip (also those you posted last week but I didn’t get a chance to comment)! OMG about that woman on the plane; I wonder if her friends know the real score and are mum about it, at least with other people. How can one be so dense?? Or maybe hopeful?? In the face of seemingly abject evidence to the contrary!! Maybe she’s like Ludgio in a way! LOL
Awww…cute Rex, the not-so-little devil!! Great costume! I’m sure he was sooo happy to be with his people again despite all the fun with his friends! Our dog also slept a lot whenever he came home from boarding (we now pay people to stay with him if we’re gone for days; someone to just come and walk him and play with him if it’s just a night or 2 away so he had not been to the kennel in a while). It’s hard work playing with everyone!
M, yes, it was so bizarre – I have never had so much information conveyed in such a short amount of time! I was reading between the lines, there was definitely even more to the story than was being told!
I’m not a talker in planes either. I like to just do my own thing. That is so bizarre that the woman turned around and told you of that, I mean she wasn’t even sitting next to you. I suppose her seat mates had heard the story of her true love many times previously and she needed to tell someone.
Rex with the devil ears looked so cute. He doesn’t mind dressing up?
I love the people watching, and find it endlessly fascinating trying to imagine how different other people’s lives are. I always say I don’t want to sit next to anyone who talks, but every now and then it’s the exact RIGHT kind of person who likes to talk, and then I feel like I’ve made a new friend.
I did not know what the term ‘open-door romance’ meant, and I don’t really read a lot of romance, but I would be like you. I don’t think it’s prudish, though – I don’t find it offensive, it just doesn’t interest me to read about. Also, ‘whatever floods the basement’ – nice.
My friends and I were flying to Morocco and there was an American woman at the end of our row wearing a purple pantsuit who was really disappointed by the seafood meal. It was seafood pasta, and we all really liked it, but she had been hoping for ‘a nice piece of flounder’ (unsure how to render the accent). That one was repeated a really unkind number of times in subsequent years.
Yes, we are the same on that – I just don’t find it interesting, or particularly sexy in any way.
A NICE PIECE OF FLOUNDER. I feel like that could be a new catchphrase. I didn’t know you were in Morocco! This is a trip we are looking at too!
People watching is so interesting, no? but i don’t like monologue seat mate for sure. I would just turn around and ask “permission” to read quietly.
I love the last pic of your golden mile, so peaceful.
Did you put Rex in a dog vacation/hotel?
People watching is so interesting for sure! Yes, Rex goes to a pet “resort,” and he seems to be very happy there.
I love that you learn so much about so many people on your trip, and remember their names too! Wow. When you first started talking about the woman on the airplane I wondered if it might be a woman I know, Denise, because WOW she can talk and talk and talk. AND she travels to Italy, specifically Rome, fairly often. But no, she’s happily married living in Napa.
I’m glad that Rex had a good time while you were gone, I’m sure you’re all happy to be reunited. I’ve never been to Albania, or Rome for that matter, but they sure made it sound inviting, didn’t they?
J, I have a travel journal and I write down not only where we went and what we did, but the people we met – I don’t want to forget their names. The lady in question lives in Kelowna but maybe she’s Denise’s cousin?
Sometimes I see people and am just blown away by the thought that *everyone* has a backstory. How amazing is that? Think of all the billions and billions and billions of life stories that are out there waiting to be told! I actually don’t mind being next to a talker. As long as they aren’t drunk.
I’m just catching up on your posts – what a beautiful vacation you’ve had!
Diane, I think that is amazing too! Every single person has a story! It’s absolutely mind-blowing and yes, I also want to hear all of them (non-drunk!)
Rex photos!!! This made me very happy except WHY IS HE WEARING DEVIL HORNS? He is the angeliest angel who ever angeled!!!
I find it very exhausting to be around people who talk SO MUCH but at least I don’t really have to worry about keeping the conversation going? But it’s always an eye-opening experience to be around people who have no problem telling everyone else their entire business. That’s not my style, lol.
I love people watching, though. I always want to just sit people down and ask them their entire life stories but I’m always too shy to strike up a convo!