I was walking with a friend downtown toward my favourite bookstore when I recognized a woman passing us. Isn’t it funny that when you see a person out of context, it can take a moment to place them? Usually for me it’s someone I see from the dog park or the walking path; the person and I will recognize each other, take a brief moment of silence to figure out from where, and then comment on how strange it is to see each other without our respective fuzzy companions.
But this lovely woman that I saw sauntering down the street with her son was not from the dog walking circuit; rather, she was the woman who does my body sugaring. Again, it took me a moment to realize where do I know her from but as soon as I did I smiled, waved, and said hi. She returned my salutation in a friendly way, but didn’t stop. I thought no more about it until this past week, when I had an appointment.
It was so nice to see you the other day, she said to me before explaining that if she recognizes a client on the street, she never, ever greets them unless they greet her first. Especially if they are with someone, she said, because you never know, maybe they don’t want their companion to KNOW.
I appreciated her discretion, but I also thought Know what? That they remove body hair?
A few months ago one of my sons told me that it wasn’t until junior high that he realized that girls also had hair on their legs. Until he saw a unshaven female classmate in shorts, which he observed in surprised silence, he never realized that girls had body hair. I typically think that I am a good mother and that I have been a strong female role model for my boys, and then I learn something like this.
Well. In my defense, it never once occurred to me to subject my young sons to the details of my shower and hair removal routine. Life, as we always say, is a journey, and the roads to enlightenment are long and winding.
Also long and winding are the random chin hairs I find myself plucking on the daily. One of the upsides of aging is that my chin hairs are almost exclusively white now. I say this is an upside, but honestly it is a bit of a mixed blessing. On the one hand they are much less visible than the exuberant black hairs that would come out to play while I was in my thirties, but on the other hand, even with my Daylight Magnifying Mirror they are harder to spot due to that same invisibility, which means that I only see them when they are nearly a centimeter long. I worry I’m going to start to resemble ZZ Top one day, and I won’t have noticed. On that note, recently I was surprised to discover, via my friend Stephany (HI STEPHANY) that many of my blog friends do not have or use tweezers. Without my tweezers, the aforementioned situation would be out of control, not to mention that I would look like a cross between Bert from Sesame Street, Martin Scorsese, and Magnum PI.
We are all different, of course, and some of us are a bit more hirsute than others, it seems. And as much as I’d like the liberation that would come with being one of those low-maintenance, free-to-be-you-and-me women who eschews hair removal, well, I’ll never be that woman. If ever I am in a coma, I am going to need one of you to come and do some plucking for me.
Weekly Reading
The inadvertent theme this week is learning about history through novels!
Brooklyn. This book, about a young Irish woman who immigrates to Brooklyn and then meets and falls in love with an Italian man has so many elements that I love: 1950s New York, descriptions of Irish rooming houses and tenements, an interesting female protagonist. It should be a home run for me but wow, it is a SLOW moving, quiet book. And I love slow-moving, quiet books. I don’t even need a plot to be happy. But even for me, this is a slow book. I tend to love a slow book if the writing is very beautiful, but the writing is extremely matter-of-fact and prosaic. I didn’t dislike this book; it gave me some interesting scenarios to ponder, and it’s also nice and short, so that kind of makes up for the incredibly slow pace. It’s been made into a movie and I kind of wondered…how? My friends Elise and Ariana (HI ELISE HI ARIANA) assured me that it is a beautiful movie with a simple love story, and I see that the star is an actress who I deeply admire, so maybe I’ll watch it. I am going to read the second one – Long Island – even though almost nothing happened in the first, because now I’m invested.
Kairos. This book won the International Booker Prize, and I can see why. It’s really powerful and moving, and it is written in a very unique style. That unique style, I admit, took me a few chapters to get into it. It’s a bit tricky at first – whole paragraphs that are one long sentence, no punctuation indicating dialogue, and dialogue of both characters crammed together in one sentence with no indication on how they are separated. So it’s a bit hard to follow at first but then I found the flow! It deals with a 19 year old woman entering into an affair with – wait for it – a 53 year old married man. To add to the ick factor, the married man is also a writer, and I’m going to ask you to please imagine me saying this in George Costanza’s voice: “Oh, we can’t disturb the DELICATE GEN-I-US.” Clearly the relationship is toxic but it becomes even more so as the story goes on, at one point becoming actually insane. What makes this story really interesting, though, is that it takes place in East Berlin in 1986, and continues on until German Reunification. The relationship and the political landscape are filled with parallels and there are a lot of metaphors and symbolism going on here, so if you like that – I love it! – you’ll love this book. It’s pretty fascinating; it is a time in history I remember, but vaguely, so I read this along with looking up a lot of places, maps, and timelines.
I hope you are all having a wonderful Labour Day weekend! I was living my best life on Friday when my husband and I, along with friends, went to an outdoor concert at a winery. Wine, friends, music, dancing? Sign me up! You know it’s been a good night when you wake up the next morning with a sore throat from singing and sore feet from dancing barefoot in the grass. Saturday, my son moved himself to university; I have worked hard to instill a sense of independence and competence in my children, and so while it was a bit strange not to see his room or help him move, it was also kind of nice to expend zero effort and know that he is also living his best life. Sunday morning my husband and I went for a bike ride. Typically my riding partner is my son, but he has been otherwise engaged, and so my husband has accompanied me for the past two weeks. Here’s a little peek into our marriage: he has an e-bike, I do not, I take six cardio workouts a week, he does not. So I feel that we are more or less equally matched, woman versus machine. However! Here is a word of warning: if you let the guy with the e-bike choose the route, there might be a LOT of uphill. His preference is to go up, up, up into the orchards, and my preference is to go flatter, by the creek. We are taking turns choosing the route, is what I’m saying. Anyway, it’s been a fun weekend, and now here we are, in September. Happy September, friends! xo
Well, just so you know, I DO own a tweezers! I was also dumbfounded when Stephany said she doesn’t.
The second book you mentioned sounds so good- everything about it is intriguing EXCEPT the writing style! WHY do authors do that? I kind of want to read it, except I think that would drive me crazy. Somehow I’m also heavily into “learning about history through novels” and this one sounds like it takes place in a fascinating time in history… but no, I don’t think I can do it.
Happy September!
I mean, I liked it once I got into the writing style. It was definitely tricky at first though. It’s kind of fun to read something that’s quite different.
I knew you had tweezers!
I had a therapist who said the same thing (that they would not acknowledge patients in the wild). It kind of makes sense–I wonder if they teach that in therapy school.
Wasn’t there some romantic confusion in _Brooklyn_ like she was engaged or something… I can’t for the life of me remember!
You look radiant in your biking photo, Nicole! I wish there were some photos from the concert too :)!
No photos from the concert, I was too busy dancing!
And yes – there was a romantic blip in which the protagonist went back to Ireland for a visit and a guy who never gave her the time of day BEFORE she went to America was all over her! And she was married before she left – but secretly married.
It’s coming back to me now… thank you!
Also, your post title gave me the nicest earworm I’ve ever had!
I’m pretty sure I’ve met my child’s doctor “in the wild” a few times but as he’s never acknowledged me and is not unique enough looking for me to be sure it is him, I haven’t acknowledged him either.
Now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of my doctors/ medical professionals in the wild either!
I do hope you have also taught your son that not every woman removes her body hair. I had no idea what body sugaring was when you mentioned it — had to look it up. @notyourmanicpixiedreamcurl is a good Instagram account to follow for an ’emancipation’ of young women from society’s ridiculous ‘rules’ for women.
Hi Ann, thanks for the link. Rest assured, my (grown) sons are very much aware that girls and women have autonomy over their own bodies and esthetic choices!
I think Beth read Brooklyn. I’ll have to ask her what she thought of it.
The concert sounds like so much fun. I love outdoor music.
Are both boys off to college this year or is J still home?
Steph, I’ll dm you!
I think you would have absolutely loved this concert. The music was so much fun! It was “you know every lyric” kind of music.
I wonder if I would recognize any of the dog owners in my neighborhood without their dogs…prob not. I’m also stunned that as someone who has been living in a house full of boys that my stepsons are probably not up to date on female leg hair…it’s on the list of things that I was today years old before I ever thought about it.
Sigh the disadvantage of me being a late bloomer in the gray department is that the hairs of my chinny chin chin ares still very dark, but I’m glad to know that it is a temporary problem. I am definitely someone who knows where my tweezers are at all times.
Right, I never once thought of it either. I mean, I didn’t talk to them about their own leg hair so it just never was a topic.
There are some advantages to being prematurely grey!
Nicole, can I just say that you look 100% better in a helmet than one we will?! As for chin hairs, I do not have tweezers, but I just let them grow to ZZ Top length and then pluck them out with my fingers. Luckily mine have always been blonde.
I doubt I will read Kairos as (a) I hate reading books with bad grammar, ruins or no punctuation, and (b) I read Lola but cringed the entire time and I don’t think older man, younger woman is my style (or older woman, younger man either, The Graduate for example).
Kyria, do you mean Lolita? If so, I’m 100% with you. GROSSSSSSS. I’m going to just say that I don’t think either book I read this week are for you!
You can pluck hairs with your fingers? You have magic grip!
The disadvantage to typing on my phone is that I have bad grammar and so many typos! My first sentence is supposed to say,” than I ever will.” Sheesh.
Ooh a blog mention! I’m so honoured.
Hahahah I live but to serve!
I saw that movie! I don’t remember if I knew that it was a book, but I did enjoy the movie.
I own tweezers, but have never used them on chin hair; mostly I use them to remove a piece of cat hair that has stuck itself deep into my foot (which happens more often than you might think; I am a tenderfoot but like to walk around barefoot, so). I just went to look at my chin in the bathroom mirror and I can’t see any hairs sticking out there? Maybe that’s my vision saving me, but I am okay with that.
The book is SUPER quiet and slow, but once my friends said it was a beautiful movie, well, I could understand.
I walk barefoot in the summer too and my problem isn’t cat hair, it’s GRIT THAT COMES OFF OF REX’S PAWS. I have to wash my feet before bed because the bottoms get grubby.
I have tweezers, but I didn’t really use them until I was in my 30s. Now I use them a lot a lot.
I think maybe I saw the film version of Brooklyn and remember it being good, but I’m not positive.
I laughed at your husband with his ebike choosing the hills! I remember riding with my husband once. He had a lightweight road bike, and regularly rode up the side of our local mountain. I had a very heavy bike with baskets on the back for groceries (we were going to the grocery store), which I did a couple of times a week. He kept his pace slow for me on the long gradual hill up to the store. I felt like he was on a thoroughbred, and I was on ‘old paint’.
OLD PAINT! I love it.
I think I’ll have to watch the movie, the lead actress is amazing!
I have owned tweezers for as long as I can recall. My mother & older sisters ‘plucked’ their eyebrows and I followed suit. I now get them waxed & use tweezers to clean up. I own 3 pairs: one at our cottage, one in my travel toiletry bag and one sits directly below my magnifying mirror. Holy chin hairs!! In spite of being 1/2 Italian I am not hirsute – no arm hair (or armpit) and minimal leg. But the aging chin is another thing! So yes I always know where my tweezers; I check daily and get waxed monthly. My hair is salt and pepper and so are these rogue hairs. I just this week got a contact for laser removal. When we travel to Mexico for 3 months there is no waxing and there is not a well lit mirror so feel it’s time to do something permanent! (also my sisters and I all have a pact to tweeze/clean up if any of us falls into a coma.
The aging chin, Pat, I hear you. I feel you. I AM YOU.
But wow, no arm/ armpit/ leg hair? I feel like my Scottish ancestry wanted me to keep warm in the highlands or something.
Hirsute is such a great word! I’ve always felt lucky that I’m not. I do have one rogue chin hair that grows extra long in ZZ Top style, and another one on my wrist. How odd is that? I would definitely need an e bike to ride up hills. I have one tiny bump on my road, and if I don’t pedal fast enough, I have to get off my trike and push!
On your wrist! That is so random. I have one that randomly pops up on my left breast, I have no idea how or why!
I forgot about your trike! How do you like it?
Ha ha, I have a single, very long hair in my right eyebrow. I try sometimes to do a combover with it but it never works. I used to see caricatures of older women with errant chin hair and think that they were unkind but now I realise that they were probably realistic – my eyesight is much worse than it used to be and sometimes I just don’t realise how long my whiskers are. Tender mercies! What a joy to send your son off into his best life- it is nice to see them grow and unfurl, isn’t it?
An eyebrow combover! Listen, I get it. I have all these white eyebrow hairs and I don’t pluck them because I don’t want to have bald spots in my eyebrows. Maybe *I* need an eyebrow combover!
I love your wording – growing and unfurling our children, just like our chin hair grows and unfurls. Full circle moment!
Yes, exactly. I don’t exactly have baldness in the brows, but they are thin due to overzealous plucking in my youth. Haha, I actually wasn’t think of my unfurling chin hairs, but of ferns! However the image of chin hairs unfurling, and I in full hirsute glory is much nicer!
Haha! I also succumbed to the plucking of the late 90s. Ah, the follies of youth.
I also had a therapist who warned me that if we ever saw each other in public she would not acknowledge me unless I acknowledged her first. I am glad she told me because if I saw her and she pretended not to know me, I would probably need more therapy. Lol. But having that policy as a hair removal person is interesting!
I do own a tweezers but I haven’t been able to use it in months! I was going to try to shape my brows recently but I could not grasp the dang thing (due to my flare and now trigger finger)?nor was it something I could figure out with my left hand. I should make an appt at a brow studio but I have felt appointmented out! I haven’t reached the chin hair plucking stage yet – if I had I for sure would have had to seek help!
I have read Brooklyn and remembered liking it but I abandoned another book by that author due to the pacing. I am curious about Long Island but have very litttle recollection about what happened in Brooklyn so don’t feel super compelled to read the sequel! The Kairos book sounds like a challenging read between the structural choices AND the infidelity topic would be hard for me!
LISA!!! All while I was reading Kairos I thought “Lisa canNOT read this book!” I knew you would hate it. You would hate it!!! So definitely don’t read it. I don’t get easily squicked by infidelity and even so I was like “THIS IS PSYCHOTIC” I really liked it though.
Lol at needing more therapy from not being acknowledged by the therapist!
I love that I have friends that will look out for me and let me know when a book is NOT FOR ME! Stephany is great about this as well!
Okay, so I have a “thing” for my tweezers. I don’t know when or where I got them (years ago; as a tween?) and I love them so much. I take them with me everywhere I go and a few times I have thought I lost them and panicked. PANICKED. They’re an unusual shape and I just LOVE THEM.
I get occasionally get chin hairs and they drive me to distraction. It’s so funny because growing up I remember watching my mom tug out chin hairs and think it was the weirdest thing even and NOW I GET THEM. Mine tend to be short and hard and if I feel one with my finger it freaks me out and I MUST PLUCK IT. I also do pluck my eyebrows, but that’s a bit sad because I overplucked as a teen. Sob. I wish I still have thick, lustrous brows but alas I do not.
I feel like we all overplucked at one point! Mine are patchy but need shaping – I will get hairs sprouting down close to my eyelids, and that’s not a look I want to have.
I’ve been known to completely walk by and ignore co-workers (that I saw on a regular basis) at the grocery store; simply because I did not recognized them outside of the environment where I was accustomed to seeing them.
How can a household survive without a pair of tweezers?! Even if they aren’t used for removing errant hairs they are invaluable in SO many ways. I know for a fact, I have at least three pairs here. Luckily, I haven’t had to deal with chin hairs (yet – knock on wood) but I do have a random hair that grows out of the side of my neck (which is a difficult place to try and locate and remove, let me tell you) and one on my ring finer. Bodies are weird.
The side of your neck – that is very random!
It’s so funny to see people out of context, even people you know well like coworkers!
I love how “different” your husband is to you regarding cardio… does he do any other kind of sport? the dynamic is the same with my husband, I run 6 times a week, he does little to none. To be fair, he was overweight and not athletic at all when we reunited 10 years ago. He now goes to gym at least 3 times a week to lift heavy with a personal trainer, and he’s fit. but e-bike is a brilliant idea to go out to bike! I’ll take note of that when we get to that stage.
I’ve heard great reviews about Brooklyn and Long Island, just yesterday, good to know that is too slow for you.
Oh, he works out most days, but with weights mostly. He does do cardio as well but I do way more!
I highly recommend Long Island and please read it so that I have someone to talk to about the ending! I did not read Brooklyn but it sounds like Long Island has a similar writing style except Long Island builds to a climactic ending (in my opinion), so it sounds like it has more plot focus. It raised a lot for me to think about, I talked my husband’s ear off about it although he did not read it :).
The chin hairs are out of control over here now that I’m in my 40s and I got laser hair removal within the last year and it’s been a game changer although has not totally solved it so I still love my tweezers.
Leneigh, I will read it and report back. I’m in the library queue right now so it might be several weeks, but I’m here for you! Brooklyn had an interesting ending – Eilis went back to Ireland for a funeral, and then was the star of the show as the girl who “went to America.” I thought about the ending quite a lot.
Another tweezer owner here. I would not be without them. Unfortunately I am hairy, I wish I was more like my mum or sister because they are a lot less hairy, but I am also very lazy, and just shave when I feel like I must, so my kids certainly knew women have hairy legs.
I have an e-bike which I use to do shopping and run errands but we are fairly flat around here and I don’t use the boost very often at all.
I’m definitely your sister in hairiness! It’s like my body is ready for the Highlands of Scotland.
I’m lucky to only need tweezers for my eyebrows, but I use one of those female circular razors on my mom when I visit her, so I know my day will come. LOL about your son not knowing we have body hair! My WHY didn’t you tell me moment came when my oldest was a freshman in college for nursing. She called to ask me why I never told her about circumcision!!! It never came up???
Hahaha I am glad I’m not the only one who had a “whoops, never thought of it” moment!
I’ve never tweezed my eyebrows—mostly because I’m a bit scared of tweezing anything! My eyebrows have always been sparse and blonde, so I’ve never felt the need. Just wait—one day I’ll spot some stray hairs on my forehead and think, “I should have tweezed!”
I completely agree with you about independence as children grow. Anna lived in her college town the summer before her senior year, and while I was sad she didn’t come home (though we did visit her), I appreciated not having to move her in. This is what we prepare them for. ❤️
YES! This is what we prepare them for! It’s such a good thing.
I do own a tweezers, but I’ve only ever used them to remove tiny pieces of glass or splinters from skin. I’ve never messed with my eyebrows. Maybe I should. I guess I’m lucky that I don’t have chin hairs, yet? I have one tiny hair that grows from the center of the bridge of my nose. I don’t think anyone else could ever see it, but when it pops up in my line of sight, I can usually yank it off with my fingers. The first time that I mentioned that I got a bikini wax, my two sisters wrinkled their noses and uttered things like, “Weird.” Or “Ew.” Not like it is my favorite thing to do, but I do prefer to have it handled that way. I’ve often wondered how I’m related to the two of them. 😉
Oh god, I don’t know where I’d be without my bikini sugaring. I mean, I guess I would have an entire hedge. I’ve never thought of it as weird or gross, I mean, we all have our different preferences on body hair for sure.
My 8 year old son just asked me the other day what was in my armpits. I freaked out, like what is it?? A bug? A rash? But nope, it was some stubbly hairs because I had been showering at the gym the past few days and didn’t have a razor. I told him it was just hair and he was shocked to learn that I had hair like Dad. The things we think we will not need to teach! So funny!
Colleen! I am SO glad you said this because I thought I was the only one! I mean, I had no idea this was a conversation we needed to have and now I find out when he’s TWENTY??? And he was in junior high before he knew women also have body hair??? It was a shock to say the least.
It it because we are so vain, Nicole, that we have so many tweezers. I am dumbfounded that some people NEVER tweeze, but I also know people who have never been to a hair salon or had a professional haircut, so…it’s me, I’m the vain problem.
Engie, it’s US. We are the vain problem.
We probably think this song is about us! We’re so vain!
I have tweezers, but I mostly use them to remove splinters. I come from a long line of hairless Taiwanese women and haven’t shaved in at least a decade.
My 12 year old, however, has inherited the hairy genes from my husband. I was just going to let it go, but I guess society and media and swim team combine in her mind and she’s decided that she needed to shave. I told her that was ridiculous, but if she wanted to, I would teach her. I showed her once, and she has become very fascinated by the process and frequently will shut herself in the bathroom to shave. I’m pretty sure my 7 year old is aware that his older sister is removing hair. The other day he asked me if he could shave too because his legs were hairy. “No!” I said, though now I’m wondering if there’s some double standard going on there. Maybe i shouldn’t think think it’s ridiculous that he wants to shave? But he *is* seven. Maybe if he asks me again when he’s 12….
Ooooh I’m kind of jealous of your hairlessness.
It’s funny you mention swim team. I had several friends with kids on swim team throughout their youth and the boys DID shave their legs. Is there some kind of aerodynamic thing going on? I don’t know but I do remember that!
Oh I think it’s kinds for people in some professions to not great patients/clients when they’re out and about because it CAN put you in an awkward situation, but I totally get that YOU didn’t think anything about it when you greeted her 🙂
I had to chuckle that your son didn’t realize that women have hair LOL (but yeah, I guess that is not something you think about as a mother when you’re raising boys, to tell them that (most) women have a rigorous hair removal routine).
San, that’s exactly it – I never thought of it! It just never came up!
Oh my gosh– Cooper said the same thing about body hair. I shave every time I am in the shower **shrug**. I cannot even imagine not having tweezers– WHAT DO PEOPLE DO?
I do too, Sarah – hey, at least Cooper’s telling you now, not like M who waited until he was 20 to tell me that he had no idea until he was in junior high!
So much tweezer talk! WHO KNEW?! I honestly cannot remember when I last used tweezers, which is why I have no idea if I even OWN any. I don’t need to pluck my eyebrows (which is a good and bad thing – my eyebrows are so blond and thin that it doesn’t matter, and I wasn’t even someone who overplucked my brows!) and I am too scared of the pain of plucking a chin hair, so I just use one of my dermaplanes to shave off the little chin hair that grows. Plucking would probably be more efficient as that sucker grows back so fast!
Oooh a dermaplane! I have wondered about dermaplaning!
I’m trying to visualize Bert from Sesame Street having facial hair. Wait – the eyebrows? But your eyebrows are not heavy, I thought we established that once and for all with that really dumb and insulting blog comment that woman made years ago (lol?).
I just started Kairos as an ebook – I guess it’s not that wild when we happen on the same book at roughly the same time, but it gives me a happy feeling anyway.
A woman was at the counter when Eve and I were getting pedicures and I thought I was randomly smiling at a stranger and then she waved hi as if she knew me and then I was really confused and didn’t realize she was a teacher of one of my library classes until half an hour later. And I really like her! I’m usually better with faces, but I work at a lot of schools, so…
I don’t know, it’s so rare we are on the same book at roughly the same time, I AM EXCITED BY THIS DEVELOPMENT!
How can a woman live on this planet and not own tweezers? Nicole, I used to have a chin hair and then one day, POOF it was gone, never to be tweezed again. A few years later (current time) I now have a hair at the upper corner of my lip and just under my nose. I am totally perplexed by this migration.
The bike riding sounds treacherous and not something I could attempt.
Congrats on raising independent, intelligent young men. We need more of those!
Oh god, I’m constantly plucking my chin and moustache. I wish it was just one or two that migrated!
No tweezers? Not even in case you get a splinter in your foot and need to carefully extract it lest you never walk normally again? I am gobsmacked by this revelation.
I go to a plastic surgery practice for micro-peels [not the other services] and the employees there aren’t supposed to say “hello” to patients when they see them outside the office. Something about HIPPA laws.
Well that makes a lot of sense!
Tweezers are so handy in case of emergency!
My husband definitely runs into patients out in the wild, and it is SO FUNNY how different the reactions are! Sometimes they will come up to him and say, “Hi Doc!” and then introduce him to whomever they’re with. But last week, we ran into someone who said hello and it was clear he was a patient and we all just kept moving right along. The person’s wife even said something like, “who is that?” but we were ships in the night and maybe the patient said something like, “we’re old poker buddies.” WHO KNOWS. So funny though!
Hahahaha well especially for your husband’s specialty! Some people are VERY shy with those matters!
I don’t tend to approach people ‘in the wild’ who I know from some other context. There’s just something, well, off about it. If they see me, recognize me, and clearly want to engage, then I will. Otherwise, nope.
Also? I am going to jinx the heck out of myself but – since I got my Bert-brow waxed post-HS (finally), and started regularly keeping up with the tweezer, life has been pretty boring facial-hair-wise. I’ll take it, thanks. 😉
Maybe I need better boundaries, Anne! I never think that someone wouldn’t want to be approached. Clearly I need to work on this!
Nope, I think you are perfect the way you are, Nicole! This is me-thing, not a you-thing, or a them-thing…