Over a year ago, I noticed something that I had literally never noticed before, and that was that every single woman over a certain age that I knew, or even encountered in a casual way, sported a thickened waist and a soft tummy. I first noticed it in one of my classes, and that was what struck me: all of these beautiful, fit, active, strong women, these women who could stand in warrior poses for extended periods, who gamely planked and held boat pose while I told them corny jokes to pass the time, they all had the same extended waistline. It did not diminish them in any way.
It is a well-known part of the perimenopausal experience, and it is a part of life, should we be so lucky to make it this far. Just like when our breasts and hips develop during puberty, so does our waistline expand as our estrogen plummets. There is a medical explanation for this, and it is that the extra padding around the midsection is our body’s way of holding on to estrogen with all its might. It is unavoidable.
Now, you might be saying no, no, it is avoidable, look at so-and-so, she is over fifty and she’s as slim as ever, to which I would respond in one of four ways: a) it’s possible that person has a relationship with a doctor’s office that I do not have, b) it’s possible that person has a relationship with food that I do not wish to have, c) it’s possible that person won the genetic lottery, but that leads to d) even with winning the genetic lottery, eating next to nothing, and having cosmetic medical intervention, that person probably still has a larger waistline than she did when she was 20, or 30, or even 45.
Here is my confession: prior to around age 48, I privately thought that I might be an exception to the rule of the middle-aged spread. I am a very active woman, I consume vast amounts of fiber, water, fruits, and vegetables, and, with the exception of my pregnancies, I have always had a fairly small waist and flat stomach. I didn’t spend much time thinking about belly fat because I did not think it was something that would affect me.
Then, a few months ago, I found myself rage-cleaning my closet. I amassed a huge pile of pants that either no longer buttoned up, or that did button up, but the waist cut into my body in such an uncomfortable way that made me worry about losing circulation to my lower body. If there is anything worse for self esteem than not being able to breathe when sitting down in jeans, I’m not sure what it is.
This month marks the four-year anniversary of the last time I weighed myself. I have no plans on breaking that streak, so I have no idea if my weight has changed over the years. It probably has. I think I am generally the same size everywhere else, except for my waist and general torso area. I used to have a moderate hourglass figure, but now it is more like a rectangle, and the week before my period it resembles an oblong balloon, of the type used to make balloon animals.
And the truth is, other than the annoyance and expense of having to buy new pants with a more forgiving waist and a curvier fit, I don’t really care. No one is more surprised than me by my indifference, believe me. But I feel like I have wasted too much time and energy in my one wild and precious life thinking in a negative way about my body and about food. I will not do that any longer, or at least, I will try not to.
Because this is what life is, isn’t it? Our bodies go through different iterations, just like our minds, our thoughts, and our interests. I’m not the same person I was at twenty, THANK GOD, and so why should I think my body should be the same?
I’m still thinking about that memoir, in which the author’s mother was so happy to have lost so much weight, the weight loss itself due to terminal illness. Something really distressing occurred to me. I realized that every woman I know who has lost a significant amount of weight either did so due to illness – physical or mental – or suffered physical or mental repercussions FROM losing a significant amount of weight. Our society’s conflation of thinness with health is flawed, to say the least. One need only point to the Minnesota Starvation Experiment as proof of the life-long mental toll that even a diet of limited duration can take.
Not to mention a lifetime of societal conditioning that positively reinforces women who take up less space, and that pressures women to become smaller and smaller. My son said to me the other day that it’s so weird that diets for men are like, the Carnivore Diet, and diets for women are like “eat 200 calories a day.” He’s not wrong. There is certainly societal pressure for men’s bodies to look a particular way, but it tends to be a pressure to be stronger, more muscular, more ripped, more more more. Whereas, for women it’s all about being less. It’s almost like society wants men to be stronger and women to be weaker. Wow, what a shocking new idea, I bet no one has ever realized that before.
Well. Be the change you want to see, I guess. There are two non-surgical options here, as far as I can see, looking over my pile of ill-fitting pants: I could futilely rage against the perimenopausal machine, restricting my diet and cutting out wine, margaritas, and cake, obsessing over calories and obliterating any comestible joy in my life, or I could lean in, put on my new pants, and marvel at the natural rhythms of the aging female body. The end result is going to be the same – this soft, rounded tummy is going NOWHERE – but to quote the Serenity Prayer, it’s all about the wisdom of knowing the difference.
Weekly Reading
Such A Bad Influence. Suspense is not usually a genre I read, but I enjoyed this book about a young influencer who mysteriously goes missing. It’s a well-plotted book with a really interesting ending, but it’s also a smart commentary on living a life online, and what happens to those children who “grew up” on the internet.
The State of Affairs. Infidelity is a topic that is quite fascinating to me, particularly how it is portrayed in fictional stories. This book, by a noted psychotherapist, delves into the definitions, causes, and results of infidelity. What is infidelity? Is it, like Bill Clinton (do not get me started on how that man ruined that poor woman’s life) thought, merely intercourse? Is it chatting with a former lover on Facebook? Is it kissing, is it a date, is it a thought, what is it? After the definitions (spoiler: there are many definitions) the book moves on to why people cheat, how they cheat, and what happens to all parties involved afterward. It’s a really well-researched, fascinating book.
It’s plum, peach, and nectarine season around here, and the farm market is full of them! I can never think of the word “plum” without saying in my head “this is a very plum…plum” in the manner of Count Almasy in The English Patient. God, I loved that movie, and wow, would I not have the patience to spend three hours watching it now. Anyway, I took some of these very plum…plums and baked them into a sunken plum cake, recipe from THE cake cookbook. One year ago the city was on fire, if you remember, and so did I ever welcome this lovely rainy weekend, not the least because it was perfect for baking. I also baked zunana muffins, which only used up a quarter of one of my giant zucchinis, and made zucchini chips. Is everything going to contain zucchini from now on? Probably.
It’s the last week of August, can you even believe it? I cannot! Enjoy your week, friends! xo
I love these reflections Nicole! Your attitude is inspirational and refreshing and your message of acceptance is one that’s really important for all of us to hear! You’re my little-bit-older-than-me role model. 🙂 Also, if you always just walk around offering plum cakes, no one can see the slightly padded tummy anyway! 😉 I’m also super fascinated by the infidelity book! I bet that is such an interesting read. It’s certainly a topic that permeates our society, news, etc. Will have to check it out!
Hahaha Kae, maybe I should walk around like one of those old timey cigarette girls, with a tray of snacks strategically placed in front of my tummy! It could be my new personality!
If you’re interested, it’s a fascinating book. I really liked how she looked at all points of view, particularly with a “what happens after” look.
Thank you for this, Nicole! And thank you even more for not looking for or offering “cures.” I love the intentional acceptance to continue living your active, delicious, beautiful, wild, and wonderful life!
Your treats look delicious, and I’m a fan of your nerdy library T-shirt!!
Thanks Maya! Isn’t that tee great? It came from the Calgary library, it’s fundraising merch. Funnily enough, one of the dates on it is my wedding anniversary, my older son’s birthday, and Rex’s birthday!
So well said, Nicole! It’s so challenging to parse through what is social conditioning vs. what is our bodies just doing what bodies do… Hope you have the best end to August this week!
Thanks so much Lindsay!
So very well said Nicole! Thank You for sharing this. 🙂
Thanks Anna! xo
Hmm! I think the three prior commenters are women who, ahem, still have their waistlines. But I’m 58, so I can attest that everything you write is the TRUTH. I run, I lift weights, I think I eat pretty well, but my stomach has expanded alarmingly. I don’t like it… but it’s also not ruining my life. The thing I really hate the most is, wearing pants that are uncomfortable. So… I need to do some shopping. I do like the scientific explanation. It makes sense (but why does that fat have to be concentrated in that area? Can’t we spread it out a little? Hrumph.) I’m with you- if it’s a choice of cutting out wine, margaritas and cake or just accepting the stomach, I’ll accept.
Such a Bad Influence sounds good! I just started a 900+ page book and my TBR is growing alarmingly, but I’ll add this one.
Isn’t it crazy, Jenny? You and I are SO active! And yet, here we are. I honestly never thought this would affect me, but here I am, in my elastic waistband glory.
Love this! I have gained weight everywhere, I am pretty sure (no scale) but my tummy!! I have NEVER had a tummy before, even after 5 kids. Menopause is a real pain, I gotta say.
Sarah, same! Well, not the five kids thing. But I never had a tummy before and now I really do. I feel like the French girl in Pulp Fiction, or actually, I should EMBRACE that girl (in case you don’t remember, she was the one who really wanted a little potbelly)
Ha, I was where you are a few years ago, and for me what was so alarming was the change in speed of the transformation. I was in perimenopause for some time and then one day I not only had a stranger’s torso, but also a different ability to undertake and benefit from exercise. Recently I went into yet another phase in which older trousers fit again, but over the stranger’s torso. I’ve had body issues for as long as I can remember and did away with with most mirrors and scales decades ago, and in a strange way coping with disliking my body for so long is useful again, but differently. This process is so weird, I’m just trying to give myself grace and to wait it out.
Hi Tamara! The speed of the transformation was what was really startling to me. It was less than a year that this transformation took place. You are so right that the process is weird and all we can do is to give ourselves grace. I mean, life happens, and everything changes over time.
My belly has definitely expanded and it has been hard for me to accept. I’m active, I eat healthy, and yet my weight is higher and my belly is expanding but I have had to accept that I just don’t have the energy or motivation to do the things I would need to do in order to maintain my previous weight/size. I also don’t want my kids to grow up around a mom who is always dieting/saying no to desserts/etc. So I am trying to embrace my changing body but dang it is hard. I don’t weigh myself at home but I have to be weighed for my infusions so there is no escaping knowing that number. I try to look away but I end up seeing it on my chart/post-visit summaries, etc. So I am working on not assigning any sort of emotion to what the number is.
Watching that Ashley Madison doc sparked so many conversations about what infidelity was. Who would have thought that a documentary about that (gross, IMO) app would spark such deep convos between Phil and me, and yet it did.
It is SO hard to accept, but I think you are doing great. It’s hard not to assign emotion to a number on the scale, which is why I just don’t weigh myself anymore. I also look away at the doctor’s office but luckily I’ve avoided seeing it on charts.
It’s just so interesting, what some people think is cheating others wouldn’t blink an eye about, and vice versa.
I love your thoughts on this – and have to say you look ahmahzing dahling – and was just saying to my friend yesterday that I go between hating the way I look in clothes to accepting that I’m getting older every day. I said “I’m just transitioning from a mom to a grandma” because we all love our soft and cuddly grandmas and they just don’t wake up one day with that body, it’s a transition over the years, and I’m in it. We can’t expect to stay the same and also age, ya know?
Colleen, this is right! They do not just wake up one day, grandma-cuddle-bodies. It’s a transition! I mean, I don’t expect the rest of me to stay the same, so why should my waist?
This is perfection: “I could futilely rage against the perimenopausal machine, restricting my diet and cutting out wine, margaritas, and cake, obsessing over calories and obliterating any comestible joy in my life, or I could lean in, put on my new pants, and marvel at the natural rhythms of the aging female body. The end result is going to be the same – this soft, rounded tummy is going NOWHERE – but to quote the Serenity Prayer, it’s all about the wisdom of knowing the difference.”
I want to print it out and recite it to myself like a mantra. Beautifully, brilliantly said.
Thanks Suzanne! I’m just OVER feeling shitty about things like this!
Well, let me tell you something. I’m one of those outliers who weighs the same that I did at age 15 and I tried on my wedding dress a few years ago and it fit exactly the same as when I was 23. BUT . . . I still ended up with hypertension, pre-diabetes, Hashimoto’s and osteoporosis. I blame the last three on menopause (I’ve had the hypertension issues my entire life). I do suppose I eat better than 95% of the population and I do workout every day, but neither of those things were always the case and it’s only been over the last 5 years that I’ve educated myself on nutrition (mostly from battling my kidney stone and the brittle bones). I really have no secret, but I empathize.
I’ve never even heard of zucchini chips or plum cake! Do the chips tend to get soft after a few hours? I’ve not had much luck with kale chips.
With regards to the chips…I don’t know! They get consumed pretty fast. I do think it depends on how thin they are sliced, and as for kale chips, I do think they always get softer the next day. I think using a dehydrator at lower temps for longer times gives better results. The plum cake is a fairly plain cake with sunken plums, and it’s a hit around here. Personally, I think I’d prefer a cake with frosting, but sometimes I sacrifice for the greater good (everyone loves it).
Oh, I have so many thoughts on this! One huge problem we have as a society is that the “famous” people we see have had so much surgery and other interventions that we think it is normal and even POSSIBLE to look the same at 50 as we did at 20. Instead of changing bodies being accepted, we grasp on to the idea that maybe we’ll be one of the different ones, that it is somehow our personal failing that we fell victim to biology while other stronger, better women managed to outrun it. Well, the only people I’ve see outrun it have had tummy tucks or an eating disorder, full stop.
One thing that has helped me as I’ve increased in size over the years is focusing on my physical abilities. How much weight can I lift, how is my endurance? Can I climb a flight of stairs without being winded? How is my blood pressure? I think it is helpful to see a metric other than weight to motivate and show that your hard work IS paying off.
The other metrics are so important – and one does not always correlate with the other, you know? I have known women who have lost significant weight but their health is absolutely terrible now, and it goes the opposite way too. I think I’m stronger and healthier than I’ve ever been; the thinnest I ever was in my life was right before a bad running injury, and I’m pretty sure the two were correlated.
Also, yes on the tummy tucks/ eating disorders.
Well said, Nicole. I am frustrated with my weight – or really with my belly. I’m sure part of it is menopause related, which is fine – but I’m struggling with SIBO/the meds I’m taking to deal with SIBO and how it has really messed with my weight despite my healthy eating and exercise. It’s so frustrating. I’m not expecting to have a flat tummy. I have no interest in going back to a bikini, which I haven’t worn since before children. I am hoping to get a handle on this health issue so that I can at least feel like I’m the size I’m supposed to be. I agree with Colleen – our grandmas were soft and cuddly and that is a good thing. I do hate having to buy new pants though.
I made a plum torte from a recipe recommended by Suzanne and it was delicious (well, I couldn’t eat it, but those who could were blown away). I wasn’t very hard either. I’m excited to add a new dessert into the rotation.
I hate having to buy new pants too – so expensive – but then, some of the pants I’ve had since my kids were toddlers, so they really owe me nothing!
Nicole, you are spot-on with your thoughts about accepting our aging bodies. I feel like I’ve been on a diet my whole life – low calorie, low fat, low carb, etc. (And never achieving the body I thought I should have!) But after my eye crisis, I decided that I’m never dieting again. Life is way too short for that. In fact, when I was afraid for my life, my only regret was that I’d spent so much time worrying about food and weight! I threw away my scale, but at my last doctor appointment, I was weighed, and it upset me so much. How do you deal with that?
Michelle, you are an inspiration! You are just so inspiring. I also have regret about how much time I’ve worried about weight and food and I just won’t anymore.
So, at my doctor’s appointments, I am very frank with the nurse that weighs me. I say “I will get on the scale, but I will turn around. Please don’t tell me the number on the scale, and please request that the doctor not speak to me about it.” If they say anything else, I will go as far as to say “It is very hard on my mental health” but I’ve only had to say that once.
I have a menopausal belly, which developed after losing all my estrogen. For years, I’ve carried a lot of shame about it. Every day, I’m working on accepting my belly and not letting it make me sad. I’m a work in progress. ❤️
That plum cake is lovely!
idk if I have menopausal belly or not…I’ve gained a bit of weight in the past few years but I can’t say that it’s belly specific, but in any case, f it! In general I’m interested in eating in a way that makes me feel good/energized/not tired but I can’t be bothered with the four exceptions to the rule that you pointed out. All I know is that getting rid of my clothes that that didn’t fit was wonderful.
The problem with most zucchini recipes is that they don’t use a lot of zucchini. I remember a zucchini bread recipe that used something ridiculous like a 1/2 cup of zucchini and my gardening experience is that I always had a 1/2 ton of zukes to use up. Zucchini chips sound like a great solution to the zucchini “problem”.
Birchie, this is exactly the problem with zucchini recipes! Most of mine are like 1 cup of zucchini, but my zucchini harvest is off the charts. The chips do work well because they shrink up a lot, so dehydrating them uses quite a bit.
Getting rid of the clothes that fit has been a bit weirdly emotional to me since I have had them for so long! But they are useless, and someone else can use them, so off they go.
I am so riveted by the waistline thing, which I had certainly HEARD about but hadn’t noticed until recently—I think because I tend to be a little visually oblivious, overall. (My coworker recently switched from a gigantic red truck to a small white sedan. I said, “Oh!! You got a new car!!” She blinked and said, “THREE WEEKS AGO.”) Like, each new revelation is causing me to Notice for awhile, and I’m so amazed by it each time: look!! all around me: older women with thinner, frizzier hair!!! (or thicker waists, or saggy necks, or surprisingly folded upper eyelids, or whatever my discovery of the week is as it starts happening to me)—and they have been like this ALL ALONG!! It’s so reassuring to see them all out there. And also a little scary, as I notice what else is inevitably coming for me.
It is reassuring to me as well, I kind of feel like We Are All In This Together, which is a good feeling. I mean, do I want thinning hair and a thickening waist? Well, whether I want them or not, they’re here.
You are such an inspiration and source of wisdom. like Kae said you are my older-than-me role model, I hope I grow to be like you, aging with grace and elegance.
I guess I haven’t noticed any change yet because I’m younger still but I do notice my shift of care for my body, not aesthetically but functionally. Now I take care of it to support my hobbies (running) and feel deep gratitude for its ability to take on more training load while recovering well than my younger self. It’s magical and beautiful to know what our body can do. If I can still run into my 70s, I won’t care if with thicker waist or no, I’ll be grateful to remain active. Also, it’s important to share positive view of our body to my girls, so I often tell them about my gratitude to my strong body. To them, they consider a strong body to support athletic endeavor is more important to be thin and fragile. I hope I keep this concept for them for as long as possible.
Coco, what a kind and beautiful thing to say. Thank you so much.
I agree so much that we change in the way we take care of our bodies as they age. I have so much gratitude for aging and I hope to remain active for life! And I love your attitude with regards to clothes – if they don’t fit, out they go!
oh… I definitely throw away uncomfortable pants/skirts/even underwear, just as I do every quarter with girls cloth. our body changes, part of natural process, then our clothes should fit us.
Ooohh.. this is such a great thought! Like we have to shed our skin every so often like snakes!
Great reflections, Nicole. I do love your acceptance of yourself; embracing that you are healthy & fit and yes, your body is going to change. So interesting reading all the other women’s comments – it sure hits a nerve doesn’t it? We all compare ourselves to these media generated images. I have never had an hourglass figure even when I was young and very slim. I was built more like a boy, kind of straight up and down lol. Then I had four kids which wrecked my stomach. That was hard as I was very fit and I was always trying to lose five or 10 pounds that was around my belly even though I was really healthy & active. I had a tummy tuck (well worth it) but still didn’t have a really flat tummy – I don’t think women are meant to!! Now I’m the exception that as I age, I seem to be losing weight and as you mentioned, it Isn’t where we want to be. I’m smaller than I’ve ever been (Still have no waistline) But as we age, we need a little bit of substance to us. You need some weight to fall back on and that’s what nature typically does for us! Plus fat fills out some of those wrinkles- That’s my battle now! And believe it or not trying to keep my weight up – who would’ve ever thought?
Thanks so much for sharing this perspective, Pat! Life is a journey and who knows where it’s going to take us. I do agree that we need a bit of substance as we get older – to prevent bones from crumbling, etc. And I never thought of it from the wrinkle perspective before but that makes sense!
So true! The only person I know who got through menopause without a soft tummy refuses to eat her favorite foods, which to me is a waste. She definitely has an eating disorder, but she functions, she doesn’t hate herself or any of the other things that come with it (so far as I know, we’ve not talked about it.)
ANYWAY, yeah, I’m 58. I’m not SUPER active, but I do yoga every day, I walk every day, I do weights a few days a week. I gained a bunch of weight about 10 years ago when I was 48 and came down with Rheumatoid arthritis (a lot of people lose weight with RA). I have lost about 1/2 of that weight, but boy, that tummy. When I was young, my waist was small, my tummy was flat. I had boobs, and carried any extra weight in my butt and thighs. I still carry extra there, but that tummy! It’s right below my belly button. It drives me crazy, especially when I am doing yoga and I feel like it gets in my way. I know it is here to stay unless I get surgery or whatever, so I need to work on accepting that this is what my body is supposed to look like at this stage of life.
Accepting it is so important, J – because what’s the alternative? Constantly being upset that pants don’t fit properly? I mean, that doesn’t sound like a good way to go through life. Ah well, here we are!
Cool shirt and that cake looks amazing.
I think it’s probably different for women who have had a soft, round stomach all along. Perimenopause didn’t bring much change in that regard for me. The diabetes diagnosis and resulting diet changes caused me to lose weight, post-menopause, but I’m never going to have a flat stomach. That’s not in the cards for me and I’m okay with it.
Steph, the cake is very similar to your blueberry kuchen! I think you would love it. Is it plum season there? I could send you the recipe. And thanks – the shirt is from the Calgary library – and did you notice the date on the top? Not the year, but that date is important to the both of us!
Oh man, Nicole! Your words came at just the right time for me! I’ve been getting kind of wistful at how squishy my body has become as I get older. I’m even squishier now than I was just after having my third kid. But you’re right – it’s all part of our body growing and changing and it’s not necessarily a useful metric, belly squishiness. It reminds me of a podcast I’ve been listening to called 28 Days – each episode is about one aspect of having your period. There is one episode where they talk about how for years, centuries, all of mankind, we’ve been taught that having our period was a sign of women’s weakness because of how debilitating it could be, but really, when you think about it, the fact that a woman can have something different going on with her body every day of the month is actually an amazing testament to how strong and adaptable we are. I love that thought.
I found that Perel book soooo fascinating when I read it! I think the thing that stuck with me the most was when she said that It’s not that people are necessarily unhappy, but rather that they think they could be happier. It kind of ties into the belly squishiness thing, I think – the narratives that people are fed on how life should be – we should be happy, being happy means X, our bodies should be perfect, our partners should be perfect, love should be easy. It seems like chasing that narrative has the potential for making people unsatisfied.
Just added that podcast to my queue 🙂
Diane, was it you who recommended that book? Thank you! It was fascinating. I love reading about/ thinking about the “after,” because it’s so interesting. I love how you just tied that thought in with belly squishiness, I hadn’t thought of it like that but you are right.
That podcast sounds super interesting – I’m going to look into it, even though my days of cycling are (slowly) coming to a close.
I am 43, and for my whole life I have been very thin, never ever had to worry about my waist. BUT, after 42 I noticed that it’s softer and rounder. Also, my butt expanded a bit. I went from 120, my usual weight to 130, my new weight. I can starve myself or I can enjoy life with 10 extra lbs. Life’s too short to diet.
Life is too short, and I agree, we should be enjoying our lives!
Kind of related- can I make chips from sweet potatoes?
I haven’t tried that but I don’t see why not – probably you would need to slice them super thin (maybe with a mandolin if you have one, I don’t) and then it would probably take a while to dry them. But why not try! Maybe I’ll give it a go, I have sweet potatoes in my pantry right now!
Yes, to this. A couple of years ago I put on a few kilos but in the last couple of years I’ve put on a couple more and the belly. I’m not prepared to not enjoy food to lose that weight though. I have recently changed to eating more protein, lifting heavy weight and making sure I do at least two high intensity interval sessions a week to combat the strength and cardio losses that will follow if I don’t do something different to what my younger self could get away with. That is more about longterm health than appearance. Luckily my jeans have a good amount of stretch in them so I haven’t had to buy new clothes yet. Although a couple of weeks ago I saw a photo of myself in running tights and top from 2018 that I’m still wearing and the difference in my body shape now is very noticeable.
Melissa, I think you’re spot on particularly with the strength training. It’s so important to do as we age. For years I refused because I don’t like it, but almost 4 years ago I added it to my routine when my doctor told me about my risk of osteoporosis. So I dutifully do my strength training, and everything I’ve read tells me that it’s so important in the menopause transition, to combat muscle loss and bone density decline.
In the last six months (I just turned 45) I have gained an extra inch circumference. I do not know how to reverse this and my clothes don’t fit and I’m irate and my belly fat is getting in the way of things I want to do and I could SOB thinking about it. But I don’t have time to think about it, let alone come up with some system to address it. I am also ashamed because I hate to be part of the culture that is obsessed with how we look. My body is strong and I am more than my body, but I am also vain and I hate how my husband has no body fat. So I guess I needed to read this. I will spread and that’s okay. I can still be strong. I just need to clean out my closet.
Also, I make sweet potato chips for my dog. You can do it.
I’m going to be totally honest: in my case, the change in waist circumference just happened. I didn’t change my nutrition intake, I didn’t change my activity level. I’ve been reading a lot about it and it just sounds like one of those perimenopause things. Because of this, I don’t think it can be reversed. Accepting that this is my new body has been a journey, particularly because I DIDN’T WANT TO BUY ALL NEW CLOTHES. But I really think that I can either accept it gracefully or fight it, but the end result I think is going to be the same. I’m vain too (omg so vain) (I probably do think this song is about me) but I’m at the acceptance stage. A couple months ago I was in denial, but my pants just don’t do up anymore.
A thicker waist is a fact of life and once we can get past that, it’s all good. (at least in my head it is!) I think of all the friends I’ve had who never made it this far to experience this time and that keeps me from complaining too much. (I’m not saying you are complaining, you know what I mean)
Plum pie. I’ve never had such a thing!
The infidelity book sounds interesting and I too don’t care for BC for what he did to Monica’s life; what a jerk.
Oh gosh Suz, I know what you mean. I have lost friends and knowing that, I know that aging is a gift. So even though I had to buy new pants, well, that’s just part of life.
YES WHAT A JERK. And yet, SHE is the one who paid the price. No one thought anything of it, or if they did, he wasn’t worse off because of it. Her life was ruined!
It’s interesting to read this post and all the comments because so many of you ladies who are talking about squishy stomachs and expanding waistlines are STILL considered the society’s ideal of thinness. I’m not saying that it’s not hard to suddenly notice all of the changes in the body! But it’s just interesting. I’ve been fat my whole adult life: I’ve always had a belly and I’m guessing I won’t notice much change when I go through perimenopause.
That said, I love your refreshing attitude about your changing body, Nicole. We need more people to talk about stuff like this! And by someone accepting their changing body, they can start to realize that other bodies that may not be society’s ideal are okay, too. <3
Thanks Stephany! I appreciate your perspective. I have just had the same body for so long, and now suddenly it’s different – it’s strange, not bad, but different.
Thank you again, Nicole, for not being afraid to talk about “taboo” topics like what happens to women’s bodies. We definitely have a lot more to content with than men, that much is obvious. Finding clothes that fit our “new, changed” bodies is ONE solution to keep feeling our best and also living our life > restricting ourselves in every possible way! Yes to this!
Yes you are so right – it’s just one solution to feeling happy about our new, changed bodies! I am NOT interested in restriction!