It’s Getting Hot In Herrre
We are having day after day of hot, sunny weather, and I am here for it; this is what I have always dreamed of experiencing in the summer. I love it.
When it comes to outdoor activity, it is a little toasty, and so morning routines around here have been altered and shifted slightly to accommodate; for example, I am walking Rex extra early, in the shady greenway by the creek, so that he doesn’t get heatstroke, burn his paws, or, less traumatically but very annoyingly, lie down in the shade refusing to move for five minutes at a time while people pass me, calling out encouragingly “you can do it, buddy!” This slightly earlier new routine makes me feel very At One With The Universe, like I am Living In The Rhythm Of Nature. My younger son, who is on the grounds crew at a golf course, has to get up at 3:20 am to get to work before 4:30, and so he probably feels less blissful about these new natural rhythms.
We all know how Rex feels about being wet, so it really says something that he has been cooling off his paws in the creek.
Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign
This will surprise exactly no one, but I strongly believe in signs from the universe, and I had one this week on one of my very early morning walks. I saw not one but two hummingbirds, which I associate with my grandma, hummingbirds being her favourite of all the avian beings. I also associate them with myself when I have had too much coffee and very little sleep, a la Apu from The Simpsons. Nonetheless, seeing the hummingbirds made me think I was being visited by my grandma who, I should hasten to mention, did not believe in reincarnation and would probably be horrified at me thinking hi Grandma at the sweet little birdies.
Although I see literally many hundreds of birds a day, I rarely see hummingbirds, and to see two of them felt very special. It also felt bizarre because I saw them when I was mulling over the concept of infidelity, which was the theme of the two books I read this week; if there was one thing that my grandma hated more than anything, it was infidelity. This is not to say the rest of us are over here championing stepping out on our spouses or whatnot, but I have never encountered anyone in my entire life who has felt so strongly about it as Grandma did, and believe me, she could hold a grudge about it like nobody’s business.
And in the context of the books I read this week, I thought, you know, Grandma was on to something. Both books featured infidelity prominently, and both books ended tragically. One of the books in particular – Loving Frank – felt like a cautionary tale about married people having affairs, specifically married women having affairs in the early 1900s. This historical fiction tale resulted in the woman leaving not only her children and husband but the continent entirely, her reputation in tatters, only to have things end in a startlingly horrifying way.
Something that I find truly fascinating is what happens next when it comes to infidelity. What happens when the passionate fire fizzles away? Was the fiery wreckage that was the previous life worth it? Sometimes it seems to be, sometimes it seems that the adulterers find their soul mates and live happily ever after, the end. But more frequently, it seems like the affair was not worth the homewrecking, as Grandma would say, and often it seems that the forbidden nature of the affair was the exciting and enticing part, and once the pair are settled into their new life, they find that it’s not all they thought it would be. It’s a little bit like the man I heard interviewed this past week, about losing a significant amount of weight with the help of Ozempic; he conceded that he was the same person, with the same unhappiness and insecurities, but in a smaller body. It’s like that, but with extramarital sex.
And then there’s a third option, which is a secret affair that is never revealed, which is the most interesting to me as I am a very nosy person who is endlessly fascinated by such things. There is a scene in the Bridges of Madison County (a snore of a book, don’t bother, friends, but the movie is okay) where Francesca sees Robert and puts her hand on the car door handle, but ultimately decides to stay, because she KNOWS. She knows what will happen if she leaves, and she knows it will never be like that magical weekend again. This is also the theme of What Is Remembered by Alice Munro; it is the very most moving story of one afternoon in a woman’s life, and what comes out of it, that I have ever read.
Anyway, as I was walking along I was pondering all of these things, including how one of the most famous pair of adulterers seem to be now the happiest they’ve ever been: Camilla Parker-Bowles and KCIII. As I thought this, the hummingbirds zipped by my face, and I am sure it was my grandma, judging me. Girlie, why are you thinking about that homewrecker? I could hear her voice and see her shaking her finger at me accusingly, as like the hummingbirds flapped their tiny wings. Maybe I’m just projecting, though.
Cue The Barry White Albums
Speaking of birds, my nest was completely empty this weekend as my sons went on a brotherly road trip together, along with a friend. It doesn’t seem all that long ago that I was worried about them driving two kilometres to the mall solo, and now here they are, motoring around highways and mountain passes, and I don’t think twice about it. Sunrise, sunset, the landslide’ll bring you down.
It’s not like I actually see my kids all that much, other than at dinnertime, as they are busy with their own lives. They also don’t cramp my style in any way; one of the great joys of adult children is that they do their own thing, and I do mine, and we just enjoy each other when we see each other. Still, it was strange to not see them all weekend, and I will say that the one dinner I prepared – we went out one night and to a barbeque on the other – I was confused as to food proportions. How much dinner do two people need? My husband looked at the gargantuan salad I had made with slight despair; it was big even for me, and I feel like I have endless appetite for giant salads. I suppose I’ll get used to it in time.
Weekly Reading
I had a DNF this week, which was a book called Happy And You Know It. I picked it up because I liked the author’s recent book, One Star Romance, but I just felt like I could not get into a book about wealthy New York moms behaving badly at a baby music class. You know what, I read and enjoyed The Nanny Diaries, and that was good enough for me in that genre.
Loving Frank. As mentioned above, I enjoyed mulling over the nature of marriages and affairs, quelle scandal, while reading this, although I did find the book dragged for me a lot. I don’t love historical fiction generally, so that’s on me. I picked this up because of my lovely friend Birchy (HI BIRCHY), who mentioned it and has been busy touring FLW-designed houses all over the Midwest. I hardly even knew who FLW was prior to this, and so I feel like I am being enlightened and educated by my wonderful bloggy friends. I feel like the subtitle of this book could be Frank Lloyd Wright: great architect, kind of a dick.
Leaving. This book is incredible! INCREDIBLE. It was the most moving, beautifully written story about a second chance at love, of infidelity and the aftermath, of complicated families and love. It absolutely blew me away with its gorgeousness and heart-wrenching descriptions of choices and decisions. It’s very much a character book, as opposed to a plot book, so do NOT come at me! While I was reading this I didn’t want to do anything else, and while I wasn’t reading it I was thinking about it. Just WOW.
I hope you are all enjoying the summer in all its glory! The garden is so productive right now, and it looks like I’m going to have approximately one million tomatoes and a whole lot of zucchini. The boys are coming home tonight, so I think I’ll turn some of my already-myriad zucchini into chocolate loaves, and maybe add it to yet another gargantuan salad. I hope you are enjoying the bounty of the season. xo
I did the conversion and that is hot.
How sweet that your boys are on road trip together.
It sounds like they are having a blast!
What a scenic walk for Rex! Glad that you’re all enjoying the weather with road trips and gardening and gigantic salads…
I’m all for passion and what not, but Infidelity is icky… Have you seen that Diane Lane-Richard Gere movie _Unfaithful_?
I don’t think I have seen that movie! I also think it’s icky, for sure, on ALL the levels!
ALL the levels! It starts off as a verrrrryyyy sexy movie. Diane Lane is lovely in it!
I also had to do the celcius-fahrenheit conversion and yes- it is HOT there! I love the photos of Rex with his paws in the creek.
I also just finished a book about infidelity (Iris Murdoch’s The Severed Head) and I kept thinking “Is this really worth it? Are these people REALLY in love?” It’s definitely a complicated and fascinating subject. Your grandma was probably right- just keep things simple.
Leaving sounds really good (even though it’s character driven and you know how I feel about those!) and- I’m sure the boys will be happy to come home to freshly baked zucchini bread!
I was thinking those EXACT thoughts, Jenny!!! “Is this really worth it?” I am truly fascinated by all the stories.
That is so hot!! We’re in the 30s + a crazy humidex and I am so, so thankful for AC.
I just made banana muffins and am headed to the kitchen this very second to eat one fresh from the oven. Can’t wait!! I haven’t made zucchini bread in years but it’s so good!
Oh, it’s so dry here – heat with humidity is awful. Cue the fuzzy hair look!
I have Leaving marked as want to read on goodreads, I’ve bumped it up my list!
Have you read a History of Burning by Janika Oza? I recommend it, just finished it so it is on my mind, will stick with me for a long time, Canadian author and it was a debut book for her.
It’s historical fiction which I don’t usually live either but a multigenerational family saga (which I do usually like), super well researched and gripping.
I just looked it up, and no I haven’t – I read something called A Burning which I loved. Brb, going to put History of Burning on my list. I do love a Canadian author!
Welcome to the world of preparing food for two people! It involves lots of leftovers!!
R will be happy, he loves leftovers!
You are the right person to be living where you live, and I’m glad it’s not me! Anything over 26 and I am sweltering and dreaming of Christmas. 🫠😂
Oooh I love it! Even though I’ve got boob sweat right now (nothing is TMI is it?)
Your morning walks with Rex sounds wonderful! Rex wading in the creek — how cute! The image in my brain about him just lying down and people encouraging him he can do it makes me smile but awww…poor doggy! That is HOT! We were in Bologna (Italy) just a couple of weeks ago and it was around 38C (even without looking up the conversion, I knew it was hot for this SoCal gal) a couple of days and it was HOT and yours was even higher!
I just now bought one of the books you read — and I want to go to the library to look into my library card again so I can borrow some of the books instead of buying….so I don’t go broke buying books! LOL
Oooh which book was it?
Italy sounds amazing, albeit hot! When I walk in the morning it’s about 22 degrees at 6:45, warming up to 26 by 8:15, so it’s not unbearable, but it’s also at least ten degrees warmer than what Rex would like!
Oh, I meant to say on that sentence: “I just now bought one of the books you read — the Leaving….”
It was hot and humid — not a good combination!
22C is MUCH better! So much nicer to walk and do “sweaty” type activities (like hiking or power walking) when it’s cooler.
We were flying to Las Vegas last week and 2/3 into the flight, the pilot came on to say we’re rerouting and landing in LAX instead — because it was too hot in Las Vegas! Evidently, the small (Delta) plane we were flying isn’t equipped to land or take off in extreme heat. I joke that maybe he just accidentally programmed LAX instead of LAS into the GPS. LOL
Wow, that’s CRAZY, because…how do they not know what Vegas is like in summer? You’d think they’d figure the plane situation out before actually flying the plane. I hope you made it there eventually! Also I had no idea it could be too hot to land a plane. I guess that makes sense, I just never thought of it!
Yes, that’s what I said — stop using these planes to Vegas in the summer!
And yes, they should’ve known before we even took off that it’d be too hot by the time we got there — it’s only a 45min flight. The plane came in late and there was traffic on the runway to take off so we were at least 2hrs late from original schedule. No one on the plane seemed too upset about the reroute, though…no bad words were heard — I guess what can you do? It’s for safety reasons. At first my husband was all, “Was he joking?” when the pilot announced the reroute. No, he was not, my dear! LOL I guess extreme heat makes the air thin so it’s a different environment to land/take off. We heard that they actually closed the airport that day (and maybe the day after?) for a while..not even the big planes with the right equipment were allowed — because it was not safe.
They put us on a flight that arrives at 10:30pm (we were supposed to be there around 11am with the original schedule) and we would’ve missed what we needed to do there by getting there at almost midnight so we cancelled out altogether.
I LOVED Leaving– maybe the best book of the year for me. I also really liked Happy and You now It– but that is my very favorite fast read genre. HOT here, too, and I hate the outside right now. Love your bird projections. I always think my dad is around when I see a cardinal.
It’s definitely one of my top books this year! Five stars in my own private rating system!
I feel like I was in the absolute wrong space for Happy and You Know It, I did love the Nanny Diaries back in the day.
I have put Leaving on hold! That sounds like very much my kind of thing.
One of my favorite authors, Maeve Binchy, wrote pretty often about affairs, in a way that made me wonder if her husband had them. Because often she’d write about a situation in which the wife knew the husband was having an affair, but knew that if she kept her head and waited it out and didn’t force him into any sudden decisions, he’d get tired of the fling and stay with her. Mind-boggling. Another book has a plot where a husband does leave his wife, for a much younger woman—but then that new relationship works beautifully, much to everyone’s surprise. Again: a boggle. Oh, and she also has a number of plotlines where a woman absolutely loses her head over an unreliable, cheating man, and sometimes ruins her marriage/life over him, and then learns with time that it was a bad decision, and she gets herself free.
Wow, what was happening with Maeve Binchy? I feel like someone should check on her.
Leaving was SO good Swistle!
I laughed at Rex needing a rest mid walk and the other walkers giving him encouragement. So funny. I bet that stream felt great on his paws.
I don’t bake much in the summer because of the heat, but we are travelling again for b-ball Wednesday this week. If I don’t show up with cookies and pumpkin bread, her team will suspect body snatchers have abducted me.
It is sort of funny, but also…Rex, I want to goooooo. There’s no moving a 100 pound dog who just wants to lie down in the shade, let me tell you.
We are feeling the heat here, too. And I try not to complain about the heat since I struggle so much with the cold and wait and wait for it to get warm enough. But we lost power at 1am on Saturday night and it was just restored in the last hour… We opted to all sleep in one room in our basement last night because we didn’t think a hotel room would be all that much of an improvement. But boy did I wish I had a battery operated sound machine (I had one previously and then got rid of it during a purge since I hadn’t used it in years). I also was channeling Rex’s energy during my 7 mile run yesterday morning. It was 70 with 95% humidity and I did want to lay on the ground and cry at various points but I kept going and eventually finished it and am trying to wipe that run from my memory… Every training cycle seems to have a run on that like so hopefully I won’t experience that again. But it was extra crappy to come back from a long sweaty run to a warm house w/ no power… But I also did not have coffee before the run because of the power outage and that lack of caffeine probably contributed to things.
I also sounds like I’m on the same wavelength as your grandma on infidelity. I struggle with books that have infidelity as a plot point unless it’s dealt with appropriately. Sweet Stephany will tell me not to read a book if it has infidelity and it’s not handled well. I will never read another book by Rachel Giffin because of her handling of infidelity in the book “Something Borrowed.” It was a very popular book but I HATED IT. I am also a grudge holder. I really wish that wasn’t my nature but I have a “once a cheater, always a cheater” view on things which I know doesn’t allow much room for forgiveness – this has to do with my enneagram 1/black and white thinking. Gah there is so much ugliness when infidelity is involved. I’ve seen it in my immediate family and I think the person who cheated/blew up his family probably wishes he could make a different decision… All that said – I loved “loving frank” – I got to the horrendous, critical plot point when I was waiting to board an airplane and I sobbed! And I usually do not cry when I read books… I plan to read Leaving and am especially interested in reading it after seeing your rave review!
Hmmm I feel like I read that book but I don’t remember anything at all about it! You are right, there is a lot of ugliness involved, and yet I am fascinated by the stories. I am definitely more of a “grey” person though.
A power outage during a heatwave! Aieee. That sounds pretty awful.
Your post was just full of lyrics and I love that. Another love: chocolate zucchini bread. So.darned.good!!! Unfortunately, we have zero luck with zucchini. Our garden is basically tomatoes and green beans, with some herbs and a few cucumbers thrown in.
I enjoyed the FLW book and we do have many FLW designed homes around. I’ve always wanted to tour one, but have just never done it. Speaking of infidelity in books, I just finished The Half Moon by Mary Beth Keane. It wasn’t all that good, so I don’t recommend it.
My brain is always filled with lyrics, and I bet yours is too!
It is too hot, Nicole! TOO HOT! If even Rex is heading for the water, there’s a problem.
There is someone in my extended family who left a spouse for another married person, and they eventually got married and have been married for more than a decade now, maybe two, and seem to be soul mates. (There are some complications to the story — I will tell you later.) I find the whole thing to be very perplexing. What a LEAP, to go from one marriage to another one, presumably after being sure that the first one was The Real Thing, but now SO SURE the new person is REALLY The Real Thing that you would blow up your life???? Sounds a little risky. I’m really glad your grandmother’s spirit is hanging around to keep you thinking about it all in the CORRECT way, lol.
How does anyone cook an appropriate amount of food??? WHAT IS an appropriate amount of food? It is impossible.
Suzanne, we had the same thing happen in my extended family! But yeah, blowing up your life…it’s a Real Leap. Grandma was shaming me for being fascinated by the whole thing, I think!
I’ve been thinking about affairs a lot lately myself thanks to the Cool Bloggers Circle! And if saying that is wrong, I don’t want to be right;-)
First off, Hubs and I saw the Ashley Madison documentary on Netflix from Lisa’s recommendation. It was a riot, but it was so perplexing to hear people talk about wanting to cheat even though they loved their spouses…it wasn’t that they met someone, it was that they were out there looking for people to have affairs with. It was just weird, though it made for great TV.
And then Frank and Mamah! Like we chatted about, ladies really got a raw deal back in the day. When the only way to get a divorce is to abandon your kids…that’s just rotten. History has her in a footnote as the mistress, but that wasn’t what she was up to. She was building a life and a career for herself, and if only she had gotten a different ending and more time to bring it to fruition. I really want to read Leaving.
It’s tough to be a black dog in the summer! Doggo seems to be handling the heat pretty well, but we’ve cut her doggy day care days short when it’s been really hot.
You know, this is the problem with men writing history. Women and women’s stories are so interesting and they just get glossed over in favour of “how this woman relates to this man” WHICH IS BULLSHIT BIRCHIE IT’S BULLSHIT. *screams into the void* I wish Mameh had lived in a different generation.
My husband watched the Ashley Madison documentary and said it was fascinating! I think I was sleeping when he watched it. I mean, probably I was. I think infidelity is pretty gross and yet I cannot look away.
I’m glad you’re enjoying the hot weather, Nicole! I have a hard time with it, not only because of the heat, but because of smoke in the air and bugs! We’ve got tons of both right now. I’m also waking up insanely early so I can enjoy the cooler part of the day. I love how you say your husband looked at you with despair over the huge salad! That made me laugh! Salads do have a way of getting huge anyway, and adjusting to two less people is difficult!
We don’t have smoke but I’m sure it’s coming. It seems inevitable these days. The bugs are dying in the heat which, although I don’t like thinking about things dying, I AM PLEASED AT THIS DEVELOPMENT. DIE MOSQUITOES DIE. However, I am still getting bitten, but less frequently. They seem to like to bite my hairline, which of course I don’t put bug spray on.
Well, we are on the same heat wave apparently as it hit about 100 here today. I’ve added Leaving to my hold list!
I loved it and I hope you do too!
That picture of Rex in the water should be framed. It’s so beautiful. Ella and I were running errands on Friday when we noticed a dog in a car, and I said to her, “That dog looks exactly like Rex!” She was like “Who is Rex?” ❤️
It’s been very hot and humid (and rainy) here all summer, and I’m not enjoying it. As I get older, I do believe I am meant for Canadian weather.
I associate hummingbirds with my grandma as well. Also, your brain is very similar to mine. I think it’s to keep us out of trouble. 😊
Awww “who is Rex” – I love it!
It’s hot here but not humid at all, so the weather would probably agree with you!
I’m so happy your grandma is also a metaphorical hummingbird xoxoxo
Love the pic of Rex cooling his feet. And the image of him laying down for a break. I love the heat & don’t think we have had nearly enough in SW Ontario. A few really hot days then it drops 10 degrees. I like a full summer of heat! I already checked Leaving out of the library! I heard a positive review of Loving Frank recently. Hmm your review isn’t as glowing.
I’m in the minority for Loving Frank – two bloggers I love loved that book. But I don’t care much for historical fiction. Still, it was really something to think about. Let me tell you Pat, I do NOT miss Calgary summers!!!
I just checked Leaving out, thanks for the rec! I will listen to The Women first, because it has a long wait list and Leaving had none, but will listen to it soon.
Don’t tell your Grandma, but I have always thought that if Charles and Camilla would have just been allowed to marry way back when, everyone would have been better off. I don’t approve of their infidelity for sure, they were assholes about it. But it was preventable.
Ugh the heat! We’re in a spell of lovely not-hot weather, and it’s SO MUCH BETTER.
I won’t tell Grandma (or the hummingbird) because I too think that about C&C (music factory) (sorry, it’s early). But I do think it would have been better, and perhaps my beloved Princess Di would not have had such a tragic life. Then again, I guess she may not have touched the lives she did. But you’re right, it was preventable, and it’s crazy to think how vastly the “rules” have changed in our lifetime.
Esther Perel wrote a book, The State of Affairs, about infidelity that I found fascinating. The thing that stuck with me the most was when she said that a lot of people cheat not because they are unhappy, but because they think they could be happier. My grandfather left my grandmother for a younger woman He died long before I was born so I never met him. It’s kind of a crazy convoluted story, and kind of sad – my grandmother was this illiterate girl from the country who bore my grandfather seven (SEVEN!!!) kids and then he ups and leaves her. Everyone called this other lady my grandfather’s second wife. Only they couldn’t get married because he and my grandmother were never divorced, so she was not technically his wife. And then for some reason, my oldest cousin (the oldest grandchild in the family) was being raised by this second wife, while my father and his two youngest siblings were left with my grandmother (The other four siblings were grown and had left the house by then). According to my cousin, my grandmother would periodically go to my grandfather’s house and scream at the second wife. I want ALL the details, but no one ever talks about it and it seems like it would be rude to ask.
I guess it’s not really a spoiler to say if you had gotten further into Happy and You Know It, that would have been 3 for 3 on books about infidelity… The end of Happy and You Know It was completely bonkers too. What is it about the genre of the beleaguered mother novel? I there was a spate where I read so many books about angry or depressed new moms.
Oh!!! Wow that is a wild story about your grandparents, Diane! Wild!
I still have Happy and You Know It, I haven’t returned my pile yet…maybe I WILL try again! I feel like I went through that phase as well, the angry/ depressed new mom genre.
I’m going to put that Perel book on my list!
You are the first person in north america that enjoys the heat wave. hahaha…. I guess that’s because you get too much snow.
I love reading your contemplation about infidelity stories. It’s so true that it’s quite uncertain what it will leave someone, whether it will be regretted when the passion fades away or happily ever after (which is not likely). There are so many more divorces these days because commitment is not a real value for many people, and individualist preference seems to be more prioritized.
I think it’s because I lived in a cold place for so long, Coco, that the heat feels amazing!
I think you’re right – and the happily ever after is very rare!
Oh Nicole, the heat is unbearable in New Jersey. Yesterday it was 97, real feel – 105. I went to a cafe to read and they had very poor air conditioning so I left. I also cancelled R’s brazilian jiu jitsu lesson for the same reason. His gi (uniform) is made from a very thick material, feel bad for them to be practicing martial arts in that studio with weak air.
Infidelity in my opinion is never worth it. Yes, flames and feelings, but, as you said, what about the aftermath?
The aftermath is so interesting to me and I think it seems like it is rarely worth it!
It sounds really uncomfortable in New Jersey. It’s dry here so the heat feels manageable – humidity is a different story!
Hot, hot here, too. I am cranky and feel like I’ll never cool down again. As for the concept of infidelity, I’m not a fan, but will suggest that it lurks in my family history so to get all Puritanical about it would be disingenuous.
Mine too, Ally, I am also not a fan but I find it fascinating. I hope you get some respite from the heat!
It’s hot in Florida (how’s that for the most obvious statement ever, lol) but it feels like it’s SO MUCH HOTTER in other places right now. We have the humidity to deal with, of course (currently, it’s 95 degrees with 60% humidity ahhhh) so that makes it a bit more difficult to deal with. I feel like I’m walking inside hell everytime I step outside, so that’s fun!!
I am more of a gray area when it comes to infidelity in books. Sometimes it makes for an interesting exploration of marriage and trust and passion. But IRL, I’m NOT a gray area person, lol. Mostly I’m just exhausted about the idea of maintaining two separate romantic relationships. No thanks!!
The humidity is the killer! It’s very dry here, so that’s not a factor at all. I feel like dry heat is so much more manageable!
I agree with you both regarding book infidelity and IRL infidelity! It does seem exhausting!
Oof, that is hot. Almost as hot as it was here… but I do agree, the early morning hours are so nice!
We are getting California heat!