It’s been a hectic week, full of super-boring and tedious errands and chores, including, but not limited to, Costco, Superstore, the post office, the mall, a meeting with the lawyer to get our updated wills signed, and not one but two trips to Service Canada for passport applications.
At Service Canada, there is a lineup to be assessed for what kind of government service is required, where the desk person ascertains that all paperwork and documentation is in order, and then a number is given to wait for the actual service. On Monday, the fellow in front of me was applying for a passport and I overheard him admit that no, he did not have his birth certificate, at which point he was turned away, dejectedly, to apparently drive back across the lake to the west side to fetch it and return later, on this, his only day off. My husband and I merely needed a straightforward renewal, but because the boys are now adults, they are not able to do this, instead they needed to apply for an adult passport; I inwardly sighed with relief because I HAD brought their birth certificates, so I felt this would be a relatively easy process.
At this point, of course, you should realize that in the soundtrack of my life, ominous music would be playing.
It turns out that birth certificates and their old, non-expired passports were not enough; I needed to also bring their drivers’ licenses. Now, I did not ask what if they don’t have one, because of course they do, but I did ask how I could possibly do this, since they work and need their licenses to, you know, drive to work. Well, the answer was that I needed to simply photocopy both sides and then get their guarantor to sign and date them, and then come back, easy peasy. I was frustrated, but as we know, there is zero upside to vocally or visibly show frustration with any kind of service employees; as well as being unkind it will not change the situation. So I went ahead with my husband’s and my passport renewal, and then left to continue on with my epic week of errands.
The next day I came back with the photocopied and signed drivers’ licenses, and found myself once again sitting in the waiting area, patiently reading a book. I noticed a woman across from me with her daughter, who was maybe six or seven; she had paper and a clipboard, and they were passing the time by playing a word guessing game, like hangman without the death-figure. It was so like something I would have done with my own kids at that age, that I couldn’t help but gaze fondly at them; she caught me looking, and I smiled and looked down at my book, which was, appropriately enough for this fuzzy warm moment, Momfluenced.
Recently Lisa (HI LISA) said to me that parenting is so performative now; I kept thinking of that statement as I read this deep dive into the strange world of momfluencers, women who earn money on Instagram photographing their lives and their children for all the Internet world to see.
Performative parenting has not been part of my experience at all, in fact, the entire concept of momfluencers really passed me by. When my kids were babies, I didn’t even have a smartphone, let alone social media; I think I obtained an Instagram account when they were nine and ten, and so I never was touched by that whole trend. What I did have, introduced to me via Babycenter newsletters, were mommy blogs.
I wonder if it’s a generational thing. Mommy blogs in the 2000s were almost exclusively devoid of advertising dollars, and almost exclusively written by Gen X women who were not afraid to say Huh, this really sucks sometimes, rather than write about motherhood in the glowing, sugar-coated way that it had been written about up to that point. Viciously mean commenters aside, we all felt free to express that sometimes things were really messy and hard, and we didn’t feel a need to put a filter on our lives. We were all just doing our best, even though that “best” was not picture-perfect by any means. Mommy blogs were a source of comfort and community for those of us stunned by the dissonance between what we thought going to the playground would be like, versus the reality.
I remember very little from 2004, and almost nothing at all from 2005-2007, which is something no one really warns you about. I vaguely remember how difficult it was to leave the house, particularly in winter, and I also remember how chronically exhausted I was, but mostly I remember being really, really lonely almost all of the time. There is nothing more isolating than being home with two babies under two; it’s so hard to go out and do things, the days are so busy and yet there seems to be so little to show for that busyness, and everything is so mind-numbingly boring. I wonder how I would have felt, if scrolling through Instagram was possible during late-night feedings, as opposed to the informercials I found myself watching, or the reruns of MASH.
I guess comparison is a game we all play at some point in our lives. I found this book, Momfluenced, pretty fascinating because it was so well balanced and thought out, and written in a very casual and informal way, which made for an easy read of a very complicated subject. I have pretty mixed feelings on influencing in general; I want women to be able to earn money, and if they are earning money from their daily lives and even, maybe, from their parenting duties – what detergent do YOU use to get your kids’ vomit out of bedsheets – well, that’s great, it’s an upside to unending, typically unpaid drudgery. But I do find it kind of distasteful and morally ambiguous to use kids as props for your soft-focus, photographic earnings, particularly children who cannot give permission for this. On the other hand, if those earnings are put aside for those children…I suppose it’s no different from children working as actors or models, but then, I have mixed feelings on that as well.
It’s a complicated subject, and an interesting book, and meanwhile, as I looked at the woman with her daughter, I wished I had my own word game to play, pencil to paper. Did I just get momfluenced to buy some old-school word puzzle books? Maybe I did.
Weekly Reading
Besides Momfluenced, I got quite a bit of reading done, thanks to waiting areas and a rainy weekend.
Old Babes In The Wood. A new collection of short stories by Margaret Atwood! Fans of Moral Disorder, like me, will be thrilled to find that the first three and the last four stories feature Nell and Tig, if you know, you KNOW. The last two are very touching, and if you recall, Atwood’s longtime partner Graeme Gibson sadly passed in recent years; these stories seem like a loving tribute to him. The stories that are sandwiched between the Nell and Tig stories are a bit too paranormal and supernatural than I tend to like, but if you’re a person who enjoys that, you’ll enjoy those too.
What My Bones Know. The role that mental health plays into the physical body is so interesting to me; trauma can surface as physical symptoms many years later. This memoir replays the author’s terrible childhood of abuse, and how it affected every area of her life: her personality, her relationships, her ability to communicate, her mental health, and, also, her physical well-being. It’s a fascinating discussion of healing, intergenerational trauma, and the immigrant experience.
One Last Summer. I have been so excited to read this, as I loved In A New York Minute, by the same author. I liked, but did not love, this book about friends reuniting for one last summer before their beloved camp is sold to a big glamping corporation. There is a nice storyline about friendship, and a sexy crush, and lots of camp shenanigans, but something about it left me feeling kind of indifferent. Maybe my expectations were too high? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice beachy, summery read; I think I just wanted something different.
Speaking of summer, this week has been absolutely gorgeous and I have had full-on summer feelings, but this weekend was pretty chilly and rainy. Do you know who doesn’t like getting caught in the rain? Rex.
The trouble is, when we are walking a 5-6 km loop, and rain starts halfway, there’s nothing for it but to keep going. I got up super early on Sunday morning to walk him before the rain started, just to escape those accusing eyes. I hope you all had a beautiful weekend. xo
Rexie loves the roses! What a great sign-off photo of this lovey! Your picnics at the service station aside, this sounds like a great week, Nicole. I hope everyone’s passports arrive soon.
That momfluencer book has been cropping up everywhere, and I’m not in the least bit interested. Perhaps because I’m over that season of life? I do remember the early days of parenting blogs–and I understand that it was a place for tired and overworked parents (well, ok–moms) to vent… but I always found them a bit too negative. Why did you have kids if you were going to complain about them so much, I used to think to myself (unhelpfully and uncharitably). I’d be less irritated now, but I adored my kids–and kids in general–and found that whole I’m-going-to-drink-a-bottle-of-wine-every-night-after-my-kids-go-to-bed thing so alien.
I adore my kids too, but I really found a lot of comfort in reading about other women who were similarly exhausted/ adoring. My favourite of the time – and I still love her – is Catherine Newman, she captured perfectly that feeling of awe about your child, while also being able to say “whew, what a loooooong day that was.” Know what I mean? But I do hear you about some of the super-negative blogs; just like super-negative people, they turned me off.
I wouldn’t recommend that book to you. It was kind of a foreign feeling, reading it, because my life is just so far removed from that of a person who follows momfluencers on IG. My whole IG feed is just my friends, with the occasional podcaster/ Peloton instructor/ writer/ fashion blogger.
I claimed my IG spot, but have never used it–it was like my brain didn’t want to learn how to use yet another platform 😂
New Atwood? Yes, please.
Those eyes! Rex is very expressive. I guess you’ll never have to wonder what he’s thinking.
I’ve been wondering a lot about how to write an empty nester blog. We’re not quite there yet, with one kid off to college soon and the other boomeranged back home for almost a year now, but we’ll get there eventually. Even writing about life without North home will seem odd because they always have so much going on and the rest of us, well, not so much.
Steph, I think you would really like the Atwood, particularly because of the paranormal kind of vibe the middle stories give off!
It will be so strange for you to write empty nest things, but I know you can do it! Sometimes it feels like my entire blog is about trips to the grocery store, so I do understand.
🤣🤣🤣Rex does NOT look happy with you until that last photo! I can relate to missing a whole decade. I didn’t discover some of the great 90’s stuff, like Everybody Loves Raymond and the Smashing Pumpkins, until after the fact. I was just surviving!
I think One Last Summer was a book I tried but DNF. Like you,I had high hopes. I think because The Interestings is one my all-time faves.
I loved The Interestings! I had my hopes up for this but they were dashed, DASHED, Bijoux!
I feel like I was definitely in survival mode – someone small always needed something from me back then!
I actually laughed out loud at Rex’s “accusing eyes.” But then almost every picture of Rex makes me smile or laugh.
Yes, I remember the early years with my son as being VERY lonely. Those were some looooong days, and I wish I had discovered blogs earlier than I did. I know they can be overly negative, but it would have helped me feel less alone- I don’t think I knew you were allowed to complain or be unhappy about the everyday tediousness of mom life.
That passport story is frustrating, and so typical. I remember it taking two tries to get my son’s passport- there was something we didn’t have. With my daughter, we miraculously nailed it the first time- we had EVERYTHING, including a signed and notarized form for the parent who couldn’t be there. They sure don’t make it easy!
They were such long days! My older son was not even 18 months when my (colicky) younger one was born, and those years were just a blur of busyness.
Poor Rex! Luckily it doesn’t rain a whole lot here, he just hates it!
Oh Nicole, that paragraph starting “I remember very little from 2004…” really hit me in the gut. My heart breaks for 2004 Nicole!!!! I recognize that feeling so well. It was so intense! Parenting can be so lonely! Like you, I have found so much solace and community in blogs.
Deep breaths about the passport thing. So frustrating. I remember so vividly when my mom went to get my middle school aged brother a photo ID so he could travel on an airplane alone, and the DMV person said he needed a bill or mortgage letter addressed to him. Um. What?????? He was all of 12! After some discussion, my mom ascertained that it could be any piece of mail, so she sent him a letter. To our own house. I guess it worked though. And yet, SO RIDICULOUS. Rules should not exist for their own sake! They should be meaningful!
Your 12 year old brother, mortgage holder. WHO MAKES THESE RULES? So ridiculous!
Early parenting can be so lonely! Gah, I remember just wishing for some kind of adult conversation!
I thought I was the only one who seems to remember nothing from the baby/toddler years. It makes me sad to think about, but given how sleep deprived I was it also makes sense! I’m reading In a New York Minute right now! Also I loved your post about 1988 last week – I’m a year behind you with all of it and just thinking about the styles, oh my goodness. I for one had permed bangs and giant pink glasses and it was a sight to see!
PINK GLASSES! Me too, Anna!! And the ones in that yearbook photo were burgundy, like Sally Jesse Raphael!
It is pretty sad that we can’t remember anything! If I look at photos I can sort of vaguely remember things, but nothing clear.
Oh gosh, those early years were tough and lonely! And social media/blogging didn’t exist when mine was born! That would have made things a little easier knowing I wasn’t alone.
Poor Rex! I don’t blame him, I don’t want to walk in the rain either!
They were tough! They were busy, and there was always so much second-guessing of our choices and decisions!
Someone suggested I get Rex a raincoat but I don’t think they make them that big, and if they did, I think he’d hate it!
I am tempted to read this book since it applies to my stage of life even though I am not on social media. Although Maya’s comment above makes me wonder if I am too negative about parenting? I do love my children but also find some aspects of parents so very hard and trying and I feel like it’s best to be honest about that rather than pretending it’s all sunshine and roses around these parts. Although I have heard commentary on a few news podcasts about how young people are hesitant to have kids because there is such a negative narrative about how they impact your life. But I appreciate reading the blogs of others who are similarly challenged by parenting. It makes me feel less lonely and alone and more seen.
Oh those sad puppy dog eyes!! How could you do this to me, mom? He is so expressive!!
Lisa, no. Please do not think that way. I have been reading your blog for a long time now and I do not think you are negative about parenting. I think you are honest about the stage that you struggle with, but that is not the same thing at all. I think your writing really shows all the wonderful parenting things that you do with your children – you are always engaging and enriching their little lives! I mean, some stages are hard – I remember once taking my kids to the playground, and my then-two-year-old had climbed to the top of the slide and didn’t want to come down, he was crying and there was a line of kids beside him, so I set down my not-walking one-year-old to go help him. No sooner had I dealt with that, then the younger one was putting things like little rocks and discarded cigarette butts in his mouth! I dealt with that and then my two year old needed a snack, then diapers…it’s a busy busy stage of life and it felt to me like there was always something to do, I was busy all the time but with little to show for it. So you’re not alone in this parenting journey! And it is a journey, and there are many stages, some more fun than others! There are none of us here who haven’t had to extract a screaming toddler who is somehow stiff as a board and simultaneously melting into a puddle away from some kind of event! Hugs, honey, you’re not alone.
Ugh that park situation is so relatable. I’ve probably mentioned this before but my sister and I have similar aged kids and we will text things like “someone is at the park KNITTING” or “someone is at the park READING A NEWSPAPER.” We are so far from that stage of park visits so it’s kind of mind boggling to think I could ever focus on something while watching my kids at the park!
But thank you for confirming that I am not overly negative. When I write, I keep in mind that my kids could read this someday and there isn’t anything I’ve said that I wouldn’t want them to read.
That will happen, though, Lisa – probably not for a few more years but at some point they just do their thing at playgrounds, without eating cigarette butts, and you can READ! Or something!
Blogs didn’t exist when my daughter was born. I’m not sure whether it would have been a balm to find like-minded parents, or if it would have been too distracting and I wouldn’t have gotten anything done. By the time I started my blog, my daughter was 9. Interesting, because I never felt like I had a ‘mommy blog’, but I won some kind of award for being one of the Top 100 Mommy Bloggers. I guess there weren’t a lot of other bloggers out there or something. I do remember the early days being pretty boring, but I went back to work when she was 5 months old, but just for a month. Then we moved, and I looked for work. So I had 9 out of her first 10 months off from work. But my husband was a graduate student, so even though he was busy, he was around, so it wasn’t lonely.
I love the pictures of Rex, as always. Mulder hated walking in the rain, but would beg to go out anyway. “Time for my walk!” then I’d open the door and he’d be all “Nope”, then I would close the door and he’d be back to “Time for my walk!” again.
Julie! I’m in awe. One of the top 100! You’re a star!
Your passport experience sounds so frustrating!! It must be a universal thing to make getting a passport a trying experience! It’ll be worth it in the end, when you’re on a wonderful trip! And good for you for realizing that getting upset at the employee wouldn’t do any good. I wish more people could be like you!!
Thanks Michelle, well, what are you going to do? No matter what, I wouldn’t have gotten the passport! Oh well, it’s all done now!
Ohh, the Mommyblogger days. I found them all while TTC (I even remember the lingo!!) back in 2003-04; via the Essential Baby forum. Did you all have equivalent US and Canadian internet forums? With endless debates about sultanas and yoghurt and carseats, but also masses of absolutely invaluable peer-reviewed information. AND people linking to So Close, and A Little Pregnant, and Here be Hippogriffs, and some others who maybe still write and maybe even led me here 🙂
Hi Kate, we did! It was Babycenter, and it was a newsletter that you could sign up for, that linked to all sorts of things on their website. Later I actually worked at what is now called YMC but at the time was – wait for it – Yummy Mummy Club, and there were all sorts of fiery comment threads about everything under the sun!
performance parenting that’s an interesting concept, I never thought about it, thankfully, otherwise it would make the complex task impossible to tackle! I do wonder sometimes whether those mom influencers can differentiate what they are doing as parent or as worker. the line could be blur at the time.
I do feel the pressure to do more if one is influencer as that’s their source of income, which could be stressful. I can’t deal with that stress for sure.
REx is so cute, his eyes… gosh, like he can speak his mind with the look.
Coco, you make such a good point – how do you differentiate as parent/ worker? There would be a lot of blurred lines, I think. I did read something about the stress of making the photos work, when you’re working with your kids who aren’t interested in having their photo taken. It seems like it would be a simple solution – don’t take the photo – but if it’s your source of income, it’s more complicated!
I can’t decide whether I would have struggled more with the little years if I had read a lot of blogs/been on Instagram. They were rough years. I think we all struggle in our own way with parenting – I had my own bag of woes and my own basket of delights which won’t necessarily overlap with others. But I definitely felt lonely a lot…but in the weirdest way BECAUSE I WAS NEVER ALONE. I do think that parenting is harder now than it used to be; there is less of a community culture, fewer people live close to parents and extended family. I think in previous generations there was less hands-on work required by any single person and it was more of a collective effort to raise a community of kiddos together?
I read Momfluenced a while ago and found the author had a bit of a double standard? As I seem to recall, she was quite caustic in her “attack” about certain influencers but then admitted how much she enjoyed reading their content. My conclusion was I am very glad I’m not on Instagram. I think the little bloggy network I belong to has realistic reporting on the realities of parenting. I do not think I could handle daily pictures of women in flowing dresses making bread while half a dozen children watch on in adoration.
That passport thing is the worst. The worst. I HATE doing errands like that and to have to repeat it. Ugh. I was in dealing with Nexus at the airport a few months ago and the people behind me in line had driven hours (like at least 5) to get to the airport and they HADN’T BROUGHT THEIR PASSPORTS. Can you even imagine. There was nothing to be done but to drive home and do it all again another day.
I was listening to one of Emily Oster’s podcast episodes recently (she’s a very well-respected economist that focuses on the application of economics to parenting and in particular decisions parents make). She said that up until the last 10-20 year, the verb “parenting” was not a thing. You were a parent but it wasn’t like an active high-touch role like it is today. My childhood was so very different from my kids’ and in many ways it’s good but in other ways, it’s probably not great?
I agree with you – I think our mothers had more of a sense of physical community than we did, and there is definitely less intergenerational help, it seems.
I know what you mean about the book but I think that’s why I liked it – it really showed that yes, it’s toxic, and also yes, she enjoys it. I get that feeling with a lot of things, and I was glad she was honest about it.
Elisabeth, I think you told me that NEXUS story once and it STILL gives me chills. AHHHHHHH. I cannot imagine.
I took notes on this post, Nicole. NOTES.
1) Heather Armstrong (Dooce) was the first mommy blog I stumbled upon and I’m entirely sure that reading her was a huge determining factor in cementing my decision not to have children. Poor woman all the way to the end.
2) My mom had to renew her passport recently. She tried to show up with the same birth certificate that was provided to her parents when she was born. The same birth certificate that has allowed her to enlist in the Army, get a driver’s license, AND get a passport in the past. They told her that it was not good enough because it did not list her parents’ names.
Why is getting a passport this hard, I ask you?! (We ordered a new, modern birth certificate for my mom and it’s all good.)
3) I could not even get through the prologue of What My Bones Know. My bones know too much, I guess. It was such a stressful read for me.
4) It has been quite hot here and in the afternoons the cement/asphalt is too hot for me to walk barefoot on, so I have decided it’s too hot for Hannah’s paws and I make her wear shoes and she gives me those same eyes Rex is giving you. Why am I torturing her so very much?!
I occasionally read Dooce too, and what a sad story she had, start to finish.
ENGIE! This exact thing happened to me re: birth certificates. I was taking the boys to get Nexus cards about 11 years ago (this is like your trusted traveller in the US) and I was asked for their long-form birth certificates. I had never heard of such a thing, I just had the birth certificates they got when they were born. Anyway, it was a huge hassle as my last name is different from theirs and my husband’s, they had to PHONE R and have the boys talk to him (phone him, really, I could have called anyone) and then they grilled the kids – who were like 8 and 9, by the way – and then gave me grave warnings NEVER to take them out of the country without their father’s permission. I WAS JUST APPLYING FOR NEXUS CARDS, I WASN’T TAKING THEM ANYWHERE. I know parental child abduction is a thing, but settle down, everyone.
Re: Hannah’s paws, I have a thing called Musher’s secret, it’s a balm to put on the bottom of paws in extreme cold, but it also works in extreme heat, apparently.
Even though we are not far apart in age, since my kids are younger I am in a completely different parenting generation than you! Performance parenting is REAL. I see so many posts from people I know about taking their kids to do fun activities, and the comments are all, “wow, you are such a great mom!” I wonder if this validation is a large part of the motivation to post these things. Personally I am not affected by it but I can see how this sort of thing would make other parents feel bad about letting their kids play video games vs. taking them to a petting zoo. I do have hope that this ends with millennials, Gen Z seems more apt to stop this silliness.
That’s wild, Sarah. It’s like “post a picture or it didn’t happen” which, I mean, I post 1000000 pictures of Rex a week along with my garden, so I am not sure if I can really talk here. But I think you’re right, validation leads to motivation in a lot of cases. I am currently reading Sandwich and it is blowing me away, it is so resonant, and one of the things she mentions is that looking back on photos of family vacations, the happy faces often mask what was happening on the other side. I will say my kids are Gen Z and they are so uninterested in “posting on the gram” – they use IG for texting, it seems like, but they seem pretty uninterested in constant posting. “That’s what moms do” is an actual quote from them.
I have read Momfluenced, I think, last year? It was a good read, but nothing new, really. Since I deleted FB and Instagram back in 2018, I felt so much happier. Even if I wanted to be influenced I couldn’t. But I agree about the income that everyone has the right to earn.
I agree, nothing new or shocking in that book, but still a good read! I didn’t know you deleted FB and IG so long ago! Wow!
Oh, Rex. I was just looking through photos on my phone and I came across one I snapped a few weeks ago . . . it was a Rex look-a-like. Hee hee. He is so darn cute. I love big, hearty dogs. I love his coloring. I’m laughing at his accusing eyes.
Oh, the stories I have about trying to get a passport or a drivers license renewed for me or one of the kids. Even when I think I am following every singe suggestion for what to bring, I inevitable miss something. Once I had to get Reg a passport because our Irish dancing school insisted that he travel to Montreal for World Champs. It was silly. We didn’t want to go, but they were gonna kick us out of their school unless we complied. Anyway, I needed a letter signed from Coach, giving me permission to get our 9 year old a passport. I was blown away. Good for you for keeping your cool.
I see young moms in the grocery store sometimes and it takes me back. So far back. But yet, it doesn’t seem that long ago. Our local pool was our hangout every summer. I got to socialize with mom friends and the kids had a blast with their buddies. This was before social media, but my social pool days were the best ever. I was always a bit blue when the pool closed in Sept.
Wait wait wait WHAT? They were going to kick you out of the Irish dance school unless you paid to travel to Montreal??? That seems nuts. Here, you have to get permission from both parents to take a kid out of the country, but you don’t need that just to get a passport. You need a zillion other things though.
Babycenter. Whoa. That took me WAY back. I’m not sure how I got through 2000-2013. (Ella was born in 2008, so I have a big gap). Mike worked long hours and I was doing it mostly on my own. Actually, I know how I got through 2010-2013. Blogging. 🖤
I feel you on those lonely nights of feeding with no good television, no phones, or anything. How DID we do it??
Rex is so cute. I just love him so much. 🖤
Kari, same, R worked long hours too and so it was just me all day with two babies! And then we didn’t have cable when M was born so I seriously watched all the informercials and was excited if he was feeding when there was some kind of rerun on!
I thought the same thing!!! BABYCENTER!! I totally had forgotten about that, but I spent way too long reading posts during any downtime on my hospital nursing shifts when I was pregnant/had littles. So funny! It was actually a pretty great resource- I have no idea if it’s still around!
I just checked! It does still exist!
NO WAY! That’s so cool. It was so helpful at a time when there wasn’t much other than What to Expect When You’re Expecting.
I often think how grateful I am that social media didn’t exist when my kids were little. I never felt like I was doing a good enough job, and yes you are always second guessing yourself- even with your 4th child. When my daughter was 13 and my boys were 4, 5 1/2 & 7 I was on my own. I barely held things together as it was and cannot imagine having the added pressure of being bombarded with fake perfection.
You know Pat, it’s funny, I’ve been thinking about this ever since I posted it, and the second-guessing…it was hard. There were just so many comparative things when you have babies (breastfeeding, working, potty training, what kind of diapers, do you make your own baby food, etc) and I think SM just exacerbates that feeling of comparison. It’s different for us now, with our adult kids! But back then, when we didn’t really know what we were doing and it was all new…it would be hard.
I often wonder what it would be like to be a mom in this generation. There really are a lot of performative actions on social media! And it just ALWAYS makes me feel icky of women earning money off their kids. I would hope some of that money is being put away for them… but who knows. Honestly, I always thought I would have kids/a big family, but then I worked at a daycare center for 4 years and quickly realized that life is not for me.
Passport stuff like that can be SO stressful. It’s a little more straightforward for us here in the U.S., but there are just SO many little steps you have to do. But at least I can do it at home and just mail everything!
It’s so strange, Stephany, because I can actually SEE the changes within my kids’ lives! Like, I had them in 2004 and 2005 and there was no social media at all then. No such thing as a hashtag! Now it’s just everywhere. I thought it was cool that I could email the moms in my playgroup to get together!
I don’t like the thought of making money off of kids in any capacity really, but it sure is a thing that happens now, and makes me wonder how those kids will feel in 10-20 years.
Rexie + roses = ❤️
I was right there with your every word about the travails of getting your passport renewed. The last time we renewed ours we went through similar hoops plus we also now have a known traveler number which required even more hoops, one of which involved meeting in person a TSA official at their offices at a time they specified. So fun to be interrogated above and beyond the usual passport dealio. 🙄
Oh ugh, I remember going through the Canadian equivalent of known traveller, and it was such a pain! I feel you!
I’m giggling at the accusing eyes. REX! ❤️
Getting the passports sounds exhausting and honestly, I’m shocked they let you do it for your boys. I would have thought they would need to be there in person….but then again, I’ve renewed mine through the mail, so there you go. Generally anything being done within the government isn’t going to be fast or easy.
I had no cell phone for my kids early childhood, so there certainly wasn’t any influencing going on. Well, maybe aside from the Fresh And New Stuff in the aisles of Target.
Suz, you make a good point, and believe you me, I double-and-tripled checked to make sure I could do it! Our addresses are still all the same (M has our address on his driver’s license even though he’s at school most of the year) and that is the only reason I could do it. It’s like mailing, I guess. We have ten-year passports so never again will this be my responsibility!
I had THE BEST birthday weekend, which included a drink called a Caught in the Rain made with COCONUT TEQUILA. Also, our never-ending daily deluge ended just in time for us to walk around downtown without getting soaked, so that was nice.
The last Margaret Atwood I read really left me cold, so much so that I haven’t read anything since. I think it might be time to revisit.
I am EVEN OLDER than you and my kids are even younger, so obviously I was nobody’s momfluencer. Sometimes I faintly regret that I don’t have more colour-coordinated perfectly-organized photos of their baby years, but I appreciate that we didn’t feel so compelled to live so publicly. It’s also good for me to remember how hard and lonely it could be, because i’ve been missing the baby and toddler years HARD lately, and I’ve probably blocked out a lot of the harder parts.
OMG COCONUT TEQUILA. I am obsessed with it as a summer drink, I bought some margarita mix and I just add the coconut tequila and it’s like I’m on vacation.
Was the last one Stone Mattress? Because I didn’t enjoy that either.
I am looking at the whole momfluencer thing as an outsider and it seems like SO MUCH has changed over the last decade or two in terms of blogs/social media and all that comes with it. Sometimes I am glad there wasn’t social media when I was a teenager (and I am sure you feel the same about the first years of being a mom)… there are so many expectations these days and they bring out the worst in people.
Rex does not look happy, haha. But who likes to get caught in the rain?
I am sorry about the stupidness of bureaucracy… I swear, you can bring all the required documents and they still find something wrong with your application.
It’s really incredible to think that just in my own children’s lifetimes, how much has changed! I didn’t have a phone! No one had a smartphone! Isn’t that wild?
I nearly let my passport expire, but thank goodness, I didn’t. Your debacle with the drivers’ licenses is, well, over the top. I’m glad it all worked out, but sheesh. Bureaucracy. 😛
Bureaucracy indeed! I’m glad you got it renewed, you know, in case you want to take a trip up north!