If I were a Mary Oliver or a Maya-type person, I would be sitting at my desk, crafting a moving poem about the beauty in the mundane everyday, about the ordinary suddenly becoming extraordinary, after a little tiny bird, a chickadee, flew right in front of my cart at Superstore in the middle of the bakery section. I gasped, I was so filled with wonder. I watched it flutter up, up, up, and perch on one of the high ceiling beams.
If I were Mary or Maya, (HI MAYA, yes I DID group you with Mary Oliver, deal with it), I would write about thinking to myself what a wonderful world, I would write about going placidly amidst the noise and haste that is Superstore ten days before Christmas, I would write about reveling in the natural world among us. I might somehow craft a poetic sentence about thinking that there were no more tiny tubes of decorator frosting in the baking aisle, but then finding them behind a box of carrot cake mix; I would talk about how they are actually kind of gross but they work great for decorating gingerbread men, which I did this past weekend with my actual grown-men children, and then I would write about traditions, my heart, and the many blessings that surround me. Somehow this poem would reach its apex with the little bird flying between the displays of Danish and cookies in their plastic clamshells, crossing my path and filling me with delight and all the warmth and wonder of the holiday season.
I would not, however, include in my poem what happened when I joined the checkout lineup, a short line with only one woman with a full cart behind a gentleman who seemed to be just finishing checking out. I would be tempted to include the detail of the man who lined up behind me with only a small basket of items, and how I, filled with the holiday spirit, insisted he go ahead of me, and then the woman in front insisted he go ahead of her. She and I were conjoined in that little joy that is spreading happiness to others by allowing them to jump the queue, and the gentleman was gracious enough to inform the cashier that he had received two Christmas gifts from these lovely ladies, who allowed him to go first.
Alas. The first gentleman, the one who had ostensibly been already checked out, had some issues. There was a problem with one of the prices on his bill, and then there was a problem with one of his items. This problem was such that customer service needed to be called, but it was ten days before Christmas, and customer service was slow to respond. I coped by talking to the woman in front of me, who informed me that the reason she had so many groceries was because she was a) hosting a dinner for thirteen that very evening, and b) hosting a dinner for 160 at her church on the weekend. While I digested that information, we talked about her pink hoodie dress, her boots, and the raspberry Bubly in her cart. She realized she forgot eggs; I told her I would hold her spot until she came back. My offer was not one of significance, because by the time she came back we were still waiting for customer service for the first gentleman; the one who we allowed to go ahead of us was still standing there awkwardly holding his basket, waiting. Probably he thought it would be faster if he just left and found another, less-problematic lineup, but likely he did not want to throw our unfortunately meaningless Christmas gifts back in our faces.
Twenty minutes later, it was the lady’s turn, and unfortunately for me, it turned out AFTER the cashier had gotten through half the items that the woman remembered she needed her items separated into two different bills, one for her own personal party and one for the church’s, and so everything needed to be voided and re-entered. At that point I had a really hard time remembering the little chickadee.
If I were a poet I would be able to craft a beautifully haunting poem about the wide variety of the human experience, but I’m me, and I can tell you, I was feeling pretty salty by the time I loaded up my car. I had to aggressively listen to a podcast on holiday decor on my way home and then equally aggressively put together my daily Advent dog-themed puzzle before I could settle myself down and regain a sliver of my holiday spirit.
Ah, life. Sometimes it’s like this:
And then sometimes it’s this:
Here we are, one week until Christmas, can we even believe it? Last week my older son wrote four finals in 47 hours, and so he came home for a few days to decompress before heading back to prepare for his last final, late this week. I used that opportunity to corral the troops into, as alluded to earlier, our annual tradition of gingerbread decorating.
There was some interesting creativity this year – not from me, never from me – and yet not a single one with anything obscene written on it. We are growing as people.
Weekly Reading
A Manual For Cleaning Women. Someone mentioned this book, and now I can’t remember who. Was it you? Anyway, I do enjoy a collection of short stories, particularly linked short stories, but I want you to know that the word for this isn’t “enjoyable.” These autobiographically-inspired stories are well written and incredibly moving, but holy moly they are gritty. This is a grim and gritty book about mining towns, alcoholism, poverty, and illness. Huge content warnings ahoy for pretty much everything but particularly infanticide (whew, that was a ROUGH story to read), graphic descriptions of the physical side of alcoholism, child abuse, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, and a really gross story about pulling out teeth. I’m not squeamish about teeth in general but this had me feeling queasy. So, yes, a talented author and excellently written, but DARK AND GRITTY. Possibly not the right thing to read in December, is what I’m saying.
But Have You Read The Book? After the last book, I desperately needed something light and fluffy and that did not require thinking. This was PERFECT. I have never been reticent about my general dislike for book-to-screen adaptations; there are only a couple that I actually enjoy. But who knew so many movies were book-to-screen adaptations! Certainly not me (Mildred Pierce, really?). Anyway, this is a fun little book put out by TCM that talks about 52 movies that were made from books. Of the 52 titles, I have read OR seen 25, and of those I have read AND seen only five (Little Women, Clueless (Emma), One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, The Godfather, and The Color Purple). If you’re a movie buff – or know one, this would make a great gift – this is a book you’ll enjoy, particularly if you love older movies. Birchy (HI BIRCHY) I’m looking at YOU.
Contemporary Canadian Women’s Short Stories. All the short stories in this collection were written by Canadian women, which, hello, checks a lot of boxes for me. This did NOT disappoint. Of course my favourites Alice Munro and Margaret Atwood are featured, both in stories that I have read independently many times, but I was excited to see stories from the two women who taught the online creative writing courses I took this fall. I felt like Buddy the Elf: I KNOW THEM, I KNOW THEM! (I don’t really but kind of?). As with any short story collection with a variety of authors, there were some stories I absolutely loved, and some I did not. A couple of stories were incredibly moving but the subject matter was so upsetting I had to take a break and do something else for a while. If you love CanLit and women’s writing and short stories, this is a marvellous collection.
I get asked a lot about books – here for it! – and I was thinking, maybe there are other questions my dear readers may have. To that end, I am doing an Ask Me Anything! If you have a question for me, please fill out this form; I thought this would be a fun thing to do post-holidays. I will answer pretty much anything, books included! Then again, you may be thinking god no, I already know too much, in which case, well, I understand.
I shall conclude with a small addendum from last Friday’s post. After writing I was slightly concerned that my memory of the alien Christmas movie was part of a fever dream of childhood, but IT WAS NOT. Dailycrossword (HI DAILYCROSSWORD) who, coincidentally, grew up in Alberta, also remembered that movie, called A Cosmic Christmas. As soon as I saw the photos I was instantly transported (cosmically?) back to it. I had misremembered part of the plot, which involved the theft of a pet goose by the town bully who – in a bullies are bullied plot point – stole it because he was hungry. Ah, pet slaughter for food. Again, so much to unpack. But the part about the human chain to pull the child out of the frozen lake and the aliens helping, discovering for themselves the true meaning of Christmas was accurate. Wishing everyone holiday spirit this week, and no falling through the ice into hypothermia-inducing water, metaphorically or otherwise. xo
You make me laugh as well as appreciate the beauty in the mundane, Nicole! And, oh, how vividly I feel the flush of holiday spirit and generosity toward our fellow man that gradually seeps out into frustration because a person can only take so much delay in one Superstore line my god!!!!!!
Also I love love love your take on the bird in your cart, which is beautiful and generous and the way you describe it DOES make me revel in the joy and wonder of the holiday season. (My daughter would have had the same reaction.) While I, on the other hand, would be startled out of my gourd and then would worry for the rest of my days, probably, about bird poop on the baked goods.
Oooh I didn’t even think about bird poop. But now that’s ALL I’m thinking of. Well, at least all the baked goods were under wraps? Oh, except the crusty breads. Ewwwwww.
Some people see the glass as half full; I guess I see a glass rimmed with bird poop.
This is EXACTLY my feeling when I hear about people doing goat yoga or similar – WHAT IF THE GOAT POOPS ON YOU OR YOUR MAT, WHAT THEN
Hahaha… I see your gingerbread men look a lot like ours. After all these years I feel like we should be getting better at it, but no. And my son always has one decapitated man as well (usually with splatters of red frosting all around.) Ah, traditions.
We definitely need a lot of “holiday patience” this time of year. But you have to wonder about these people who are taking up SO MUCH of the cashier’s time, with a line of people behind them. Do they feel bad about it? I think I would be too embarrassed.
The lady was really embarrassed, and apologized quite a bit. But what are you going to do? At some point, it’s easier just to wait things out and also, I had already unloaded all my groceries!
Well you know our holiday season is like the 2nd photo of gingerbread men. Some are missing heads, there are globs of frosting everywhere and I’m probably in the background, gritting my teeth behind a mask and saying “aren’t the holidays wonderful” with forced merriment. And I do love the holidays but wow, this chain of illnesses has been so brutal.
Oof that first collection of short stories sounds INTENSE. I couldn’t handle it… I’m burning through “You Could Make This Place Beautiful.” Have you read it? If you haven’t, you should. She’s a poet so the book is beautifully written. It’s about the dissolution of the marriage but she has so much to say about equality between spouses and the nesting dolls of life and how we change and sometimes the people around us don’t change with us or or don’t accept our change. It’s brutal and beautiful. I gifted it to the friend I met up with in Banff after our trip as she was at the start of the separation process. I think she must have felt so very seen when reading this book. But even as a happily married person, there are lessons to take away from the book. But oh the writing. It’s gorgeous. I was reading it on the couch – wearing a mask – and Phil said, “what are you reading? You have the most emotional look on your face!” So that tells you how powerful it is – so powerful it stopped my husband in his tracks to see his masked wife looking so distraught.
Lisa, I read that just recently – maybe two weeks ago – and I agree, it was so moving. I found myself gasping a lot. Whooooaaaa what a book. Did you read her Keep Moving? It was excellent, and was written while she was going through the divorce.
I hope your holiday season starts to skew towards the first photo soon!
I read that book this summer and I did not even know who she is…but I really enjoyed it. I mean, I enjoyed it as much as you can when reading about someone’s marriage going downhill, but she really just has a way with words! Nicole, I am going to check out Keep Moving now!
O my, Nicole! I squeed loud when I saw you’d not only mentioned me but paired me with Mary Oliver (oh, come on!!)… but I SQUEEEEEEEEED about ten times louder halfway through your post. Did we, your loyal readers, know you were taking a creative writing class?!! Does this mean the book is in process?! You know your readership is ready and waiting!!
Your bird companion sounds magic, and your good turn gone awry sounds like the mundanity that is life; alas.
But your gingerbread folk are impressive–that first tray is so uniform. And who made that gnome gingerbread person for you? They love you so much in the boyhouse.
Thank you for the mention, friend! XOXO
I wondered if anyone would pick up that little detail! Yes, I took TWO courses this fall, and yes, I do have a big project on the go! But this is the first I’ve said it on my blog 🙂 I’ll definitely share more a little later (or I might just share more with you privately!)
My older son made the gnome, but I am responsible for the uniform ones – my husband calls it my assembly line of gingerbread.
I loved hearing you have a big project on the go, Nicole! Happy to hear details any time you feel ready! XOXO
I think you need a weekly column titled Things That Happened At The Grocery Store (And People I Talked To). Seriously, I have never met a single person with more fodder from the grocery store in. my. life.
A bird. A LIVE BIRD. IN SUPERSTORE?
I will take a very hard pass on the book both in December (and January though November). That’s a lot of content warnings and I will gladly steer clear.
Love the gingerbread men. How festive and fun…and some interesting decoration choices <3
An actual live bird! How did it get in there, are there more birds, where are they living, who can say?
Honestly, am I the only person who has all these weird things happen at the grocery store, or do I just spend a disproportionate amount of time there, who knows?
When I make cookies, they are divided into two categories – those I can bring to the party and those that my husband can eat. I’ll let you figure out how it is determined which cookies goes into which category.
My husband and I have a “don’t commit murder” rule about the grocery store and Costco. This was really put to the test on Saturday when we had to go to Costco. And the thing is that we’ll have to go AGAIN next weekend and I am trying to figure out if there’s a way for me to leave my husband at home because he does not see the beauty in the chickadee. He is BEYOND the whimsy at this point. I need to get him back on the whimsy train.
Wait wait wait YOU HAVE TO GO TO COSTCO THIS WEEKEND? But that’s the 23rd? I feel like you need thoughts and prayers to get through that.
Girl, I am right there with you. Wishing I could wax poetic about all the little beauties that we encounter daily, but man, the Line Shit Show ruined it all! (I’m laughing hysterically, just picturing you there, but I know it wasn’t funny!)
“I had to aggressively listen to a podcast on holiday decor on my way home and then equally aggressively put together my daily Advent dog-themed puzzle before I could settle myself down and regain a sliver of my holiday spirit.”
I’ve never aggressively listened to anything, but I’m HERE FOR IT!!
I do look forward to your son’s creative cookie men. They are growing up and that needs to stop ASAP. 😜
Oh Suz, that lineup. That lineup killed me. TWENTY FIVE MINUTES!!!
I enjoyed your virtual poem.
I was about to say I bet Little Women was one of the book-to-movie adaptations you like before you mentioned it.
You know it, Steph! I also really love the recent British adaptation of Emma, and if you like that book I think you would also like that.
I was cracking up about how you had to ‘aggressively’ unwind after that grocery line! LOL! It’s a Seinfeld episode in the making! Also, I enjoyed the gingerbread photos. I also made gingerbread men over the weekend. God forbid, I had to make them from scratch, as the FIVE grocery stores I visited didn’t have a gingerbread mix in sight. My grandkids decorated them yesterday and I tasted a piece of one and it was AWFUL. Tasted like cardboard, so thanks Pinterest for the recipe!
I read a good book last week . . . Emily Giffin’s ‘Meant To Be.’ It’s a re-telling of the life of JFK, Jr. (totally fiction, but she based it off of him). It was a really sweet book.
I’ll check out your AMA! XOXO
I WILL LISTEN TO THIS FESTIVE PODCAST AND BE FESTIVE DAMMIT!!!! That was kind of my attitude.
Oh, I think I have read Emily Giffin before – very light and sweet writer, I believe?
I appreciated the twist of the Mary Oliver-esque start becoming so real after being so kind in the line because it was SO REAL! I, also, appreciate both sets of gingerbread folks; my life is like the 2nd but I aspire towards the first!
Thanks Lindsay! Me too, about the cookies. I mean, sometimes I am a cookie holding my own head in my hands, or a cookie with fried-egg eyes…wait, maybe not that one!
You tell the best story, Nicole! You made me laugh! Thank you for sharing your beautiful shopping disaster. Your gingerbread cookies are wonderful, and you even have a gnome!! That’s the best one of the bunch! (And by the way, your gnome drawing in your card was lovely and made my day!)
Hahahaha oh Michelle, if you knew how hard I worked on that gnome drawing! I had to have my son encourage me. “Go Mom!” I’m so excited you liked it. My son made that gnome cookie, isn’t it so cute?
I’m currently reading “Look at the Lights, My Love” by Annie Ernaux which is a short memoir about superstores. So if you ever think to yourself, “Wow, these experiences could fill a book!” why yes, yes they can 🙂
Oh my god I must read this book. THIS IS MY LIFE. Hmmm, perhaps my own grocery memoir is forthcoming!
Eeeeeeeeee people that clog the lines at Christmastime without a care in the world, HOW DO THEY DO THIS. It’s not EXACTLY like I want them to feel as terrible as I would feel in their situation but how do they not feel AT ALL terrible? Thanks for stomping all over my sparkly goodwill, bitches! It’s like if the little chickadee flew by and chirped sweetly in your face and then crapped all over your almond milk and chocolate chips.
“There was some interesting creativity this year – not from me, never from me – and yet not a single one with anything obscene written on it. We are growing as people.” This made me laugh out loud!
You have the patience of a saint, Nicole. Which is just what is needed when you are in line anywhere at this time of year.
Not ONE gingerbread man with “balls” written on it or something, Gigi, it’s a whole new world.
Ohmygoodness, your story kind of cracked me up but had me cringing at the same time. First of all, I really try to avoid the grocery store within 2 weeks of any holiday, on weekends, between 3 pm – 7 pm on weekdays…etc. If I had my prerogative, they would all open at 5 am and I would be there, first in line. I actually started to be one of those annoying people who wears their earbuds in public when I go grocery shopping. This way, I just think of it as working out, while picking up random weights/groceries, and then when I have to stand in line behind the inevitable person with an issue and/or a cart full to the brim of stuff, I just consider it extra reading time.
Also, I can’t wait to hear about your writing project! My grandma took a few different writing classes later in life and she had a great time and it has been fun for me to read some of it now that she is gone. She wrote about her early childhood on the farm, and although I knew about some of it, it has been very interesting to hear her side of things!
PS is one of your gingerbread men wearing lederhosen?
Wow, 2 weeks of any holiday…I don’t think I could do that! I am just happy I am going TOMORROW and won’t have to go again until after Christmas. But then, what else am I doing? My wild and precious life in the grocery store.
My grandma also had written down her life as a one-room school teacher, and that stuff is so interesting!
No, that’s not lederhosen, it’s the guy from Family Guy!
I always worry when birds make their way into the grocery store. It never occurred to me that they might be living their best life there, I just worry that they are going to get sick or die or something, while I want them to be FREEEE!
I remember once asking the man behind me in line if he wanted to go first, he only had a few items, I had a bunch. He said, curtly, ‘yes’, and went ahead. I was not a gift giver, clearly, and he did not thank me. Then he proceeded to talk to the checker about his surgery for awhile, until he got his total, at which point he proceeded to pull out his checkbook and start writing his check. Which then got stuck in the little machine they use. It was a lot. A thank-you would have made it more bearable, for sure.
I also love Margarette Atwood and Alice Munro! And the description of that first book gave me the heebies.
J, talk about no good deed going unpunished!
I see birds all the time in hardware stores and plant nurseries, in the high beams. Maybe it’s a Canadian thing and they are finding shelter? Or maybe those places have birdseed available? Who knows! Never in a grocery store though!
Wow this post was quite a delight to read! I love seeing birds in grocery stores. It happens often but I have never had a close encounter with a chickadee. Your checkout experience did take quite a turn- I admire your patience for sure. I always feel so bad about the person with the issue! I can’t wait to hear more about your writing project. You are such a gifted writer!
Oh, thank you Pat! What a lovely thing to say. I haven’t seen a bird in a grocery store before – many times in garden centres or hardware stores, so it was pretty delightful!
OMG the woman in front of you tho! Like, she JUST TOLD YOU about the 2 dinners, so it should have been TOP OF MIND, really! I MEAN. (Clearly my generosity of spirit ran out). I have been working really hard to be less of an asshole in long lines and just appreciate the pause, even with kids along. This post is perfectly timed for me, so thank you!
Right? Why didn’t she SAY before they started? It was…a lesson in patience, I guess.
I always appreciate your grocery store stories, Nicole! I, too, would have grown very, very frustrated by the whole experience. But at least the end result was some very creative gingerbread men! We do Christmas cookies in my family and the end result is always hilarious.
I can’t focus on the bird. BOOK! There is the possibility of a BOOK! Cheering you on!!! Go, Nicole!
(Canadians = midwesterners, btw. You should have heard the extensive conversation I had with the guy also waiting at the clinic this morning. I heard all about his woodstove, and then I heard all about the scheduler’s grandchildren and how she’s a creature of habit and routine and they’re noisy but boy are they cute… ;>)
Hahaha that’s tremendous and totally sounds like a conversation I would randomly have!
Oh Nicole, I cannot blame you for being salty after spreading so much holiday spirit that the “spirit spreading machine” got all out of wack and spoiled your cheery generosity. It did make for a good story though… and those gingerbread men!!
Aren’t they hilarious, those cookies?