One of the things I was most excited to do when I moved here was to restart cross-country skiing; I love it but, sadly, for one reason or another, have not skied in twenty years. Now that I don’t have children in school or classes to teach, I have been eager to restart, and because ski technology has changed significantly in my prolonged off-season, not to mention that my feet have gotten bigger, my husband and I went to the local outdoor store to procure new equipment.
We were immediately helped by a nice, knowledgeable young man named Brett, who showed me some skis that he thought would be appropriate. When it came to sizing them, he measured against my height and then casually asked my weight. I replied, truthfully, that I really didn’t know. I have not weighed myself since August 2020, when I read Your Body Your Best Friend; even at the doctor’s office, I have turned around while being weighed and asked not to be told the number. Brett suggested that if I didn’t know my weight, I could just step on the scale, that one, right over there!
“Oh, I’m not stepping on a scale,” I said, and my husband laughed. “That’s a dangerous question!” he said to Brett, and what was so interesting to me is that Brett looked completely puzzled as to why a woman would hesitate weighing herself not just in public, but ever. Like, he was genuinely nonplussed. Why would weight be any different than boot size or height; this was value-neutral information used to select the appropriate ski equipment.
Honestly, it’s aspirational. I cannot imagine being in a mental place where knowing my weight didn’t cause a steep descent into utter madness, regardless of what that weight is. I cannot imagine just knowing my weight without some kind of insane moral value judgement, the way I feel about my height and the size of my feet and hands. In the end we compromised; Brett told me the weight range in kilograms for the skis I was looking at, and I was able to tell him that I thought I was within that range.
I am still a little depressed about the Weight Watchers book I read last week, friends. I don’t know if it was because I read it just before my Ladies’ Holidays when I was already in a fragile emotional state, but wow, did it ever bum me out. The idea that we are living in a society that essentially wants women – sure, men are subject to weight judgements too, but let’s face it, it’s mostly women – to take up less space and to always be hungry or, alternately and concurrently, not hungry but guilty and full of shame, just made me so sad. The thought of all these millions of women who have been weight cycling their entire lives, just futilely dieting and gaining and back again, and then made to feel shame about it, made me feel like wrapping up every one of them in a hug.
The author herself, and most likely, millions of other women, seemed to have two modes when it comes to food: restriction and the accompanying obsession with food (did we learn nothing from the Minnesota Starvation Experiment?), or shame about eating and the accompanying obsession with food. Restriction and shame, those seem to be the options. There was no joy whatsoever.
I learned something unsettling this week, and it has to do with Ozempic. I know there is a lot of discourse around this drug, and I am not going to touch on that. What I am going to tell you is something that I did not know, and that is that while Ozempic has been used very effectively for fairly significant weight loss, once a person stops the drug the weight is regained. The only way, apparently, to maintain the weight loss from Ozempic use is by continuing usage of Ozempic, indefinitely. The thought of people staying on a drug that is probably not tested for extreme long-term usage – how could it be, when it’s relatively new? – for the rest of their lives just to maintain an arbitrary Ideal Weight has me upset on a macro level. What are we doing in our society?
Once you open your eyes to the insidiousness of diet culture, you can’t not see it everywhere. Conversations about skipping dessert to be Good happen everywhere, or thoughts like I want to eat a lot at this event so I won’t eat all day to prepare abound, women everywhere are thinking I ate those cookies yesterday so today I’ll skip lunch. Whole swaths of food are demonized as Bad, every time you turn around it’s something different: oils, sugar, carbs, whatever some so-called expert has decided to pick on. Food is fuel, of course it is, but it is so much more than that. Food needs to nourish our bodies AND our souls; it is nutrition and it is community, it is family and it is joy, it is culture and tradition. When we reject these things, we are rejecting little parts of ourselves. Of course we need to make choices that are best for our bodies, of course we do, but our physical bodies are only one part of us.
What upset me the most from that Weight Watchers book was somewhat of a throwaway line, and that is that Jean Nidetch said that being thin needs to be more important than any food, and suggested this life hack: on your birthday, every birthday, for the rest of your life, bake a cake, cut the cake, serve the cake, but DO NOT EAT THE CAKE. Now, I probably would not have noticed this line at all if she talked about pie, which I loathe, or even something I feel neutral about, like doughnuts. I don’t dislike doughnuts but I never feel like eating one, and so if someone told me that there would be no more doughnuts or pie for the rest of my life, I’d never blink an eye. Done and done! But cake! We all know how I feel about cake. The thought of slicing a cake and not eating any on my own birthday, ever again, is the saddest food-related thing I can think about.
Maybe it’s because I’m 48 and although I hope I have a little more life ahead of me than behind me, likely that is not the case, but I just refuse to spend even one more minute like this. I refuse to think that if I have that, then I shouldn’t have this. The fact is that I genuinely do not think about my weight at all anymore, unless I’m in a ski shop and they ask for it, but it’s taken work to get here.
On the subject of cake, it was my husband’s birthday, and so we spent the weekend feting my Shmoopy. Obviously there needed to be cake involved, and for this special occasion, we went with carrot. It was delicious.
Weekly Reading
Falling. Let’s say you’re on a plane. The pilot discovers, after takeoff, that his family is being held hostage and he is given one of two choices: crash the plane, killing everyone on board, or his family dies. What’s he going to do? This is an entertaining thriller of a book, although probably not recommended for anyone who, you know, has a fear of flying. I don’t, so it didn’t bother me BUT I could not stop thinking about the author. The author, get this, is a former flight attendant who WROTE THIS BOOK WHILE WORKING THE RED-EYE. That’s right, as the passengers slept on overnight flights, she wrote a book about terrorists threatening every person on board and the pilot’s beloved family. What kind of a warped and twisted mind does that? I don’t know but I’d love to be her friend. Imagine getting your little bag of pretzels or Celebration cookie from a seemingly-innocent flight attendant who is imagining your death. Actually, given how some people behave on planes, this is kind of a reasonable response. Thanks to Stephany (HI STEPHANY) for the recommendation (listen to her podcast, The Friendship Paradox!).
Daughter in Exile. I think this is an incredibly honest and accurate book about what it is to be an illegal immigrant in the US; this story follows a young, educated Ghanaian woman who gives up her job at the Thai embassy in Senegal to go to America with her boyfriend, who turns out to be a cad, uninterested in her when he discovers she doesn’t have wealth. Stranded in America, pregnant, she struggles just to survive, the people around her in equal measures helping her and also taking advantage of and hurting her. I’m sure this is very realistic, with one awful thing after another happening to her, but it is very hard to read. I guess it is just a slice of life. I can’t say I enjoyed it; I did not like the writing style and I found the dialogue to be pretty stilted and unnatural. I think, however, it was a very eye-opening novel to the immigrant experience.
The Woman in the Library. This was SUCH a fun and entertaining read! It’s a murder mystery with clever parallel story lines – a mystery being written, and a beta reader reading that mystery. Very fun indeed!
We took advantage of a beautiful weekend, and having my son home for my husband’s birthday, to take our annual family photos. Would you like to be included on my holiday card list? All you have to do is include ME on yours! At the risk of sounding like a Christmas Asshole, I am only interested in card EXCHANGES, so if you too love sending out holiday cards, and want one from me, let me know! If you sent me a card last year you are already on the list, never fear. In any case, have a lovely week, everyone; hopefully there will be cake or something delicious involved. xo
Happy Birthday to your Shmoopy, Nicole! I’m glad there was that delicious cake and that everyone got to have as much as they wanted. Your family pics and putative family card look lovely. I’d like to be on your mailing list, please! (I smiled when you mentioned juggling family pictures with grownup kids’ availability… parenthood has a steep learning curve for sure!)
Your dispatches from the WW and Ozempic wings of our society were truly depressing. One of my lovely women’s studies students wrote a paper titled “Riots not Diets” and I always remind myself of that mantra any time something diet-related impinges on my consciousness. (I heard on the radio that Ozempic is suspected to intensify depression–as you say no certainties since there are no long-term studies yet.)
I totally get liking the theme and politics of something but thinking the execution isn’t satisfactory (the Adjapon book). I don’t know if I would have been able to finish it if it rankled that much.
You are on the list, Maya!!! xoxoxo
Riots not diets – I LOVE it!
The book, I wanted to love it. But I just didn’t. The dialogue was so poorly written that I checked if the book itself was a translation, maybe a badly done one? But no, it wasn’t.
YAY!!
WHAT. That is really, really sad advice about the birthday cake. I also went for years and years without weighing myself, and standing on the scale backwards at the doctor. I still never weigh myself at home, but I can’t remember when the shift occurred, I now look at my weight at my doctor’s appointments (twice a year, to monitor my thyroid.) It’s not a super big deal, but I still feel a flutter of anxiety before stepping on the scale, and then either brief exhilaration or disappointment, depending on the number. Old habits die hard, and that is why I never weigh myself at any other time! Yes, what if we just looked at it as another fact, like height or shoe size? It’s crazy how much power that number on the scale has.
Anyway, I may be losing my mind because my first thought was, The Woman in the Library Looks Good! I should read it! Then I saw the cover and thought… wait- maybe I HAVE read it. But I don’t remember it. But the cover looks familiar and it sounds like something I would love. Hmm. I have to look into this.
Happy Birthday to your husband, and I’l glad you all ate cake.
Hahaha now I am wondering…did you read it? Keep me posted!
The thing about the birthday cake just totally bummed me out. I can’t even.
Weight is such a difficult issue. When I was diagnosed with diabetes two years ago and I had to start eating differently, I made it my goal to focus on blood sugar management, not weight. Of course I did lose weight and I won’t say that didn’t make me happy– how could it not with all the conditioning we all have? But when I plateaued after sixteen months or so and ended up at place that’s still officially overweight, but with well controlled blood sugar, I decided not to push it further and lose more weight. Eating the way I do now is manageable (if not always fun) and I don’t want to be hungry and cranky all the time. That’s not sustainable.
It’s so true, it’s such a fraught topic and we are so conditioned as a society to be so critical of our bodies!
Please, Please, Please listen to the podcast “Maintenance Phase.” Please start all the way back at the beginning and work your way to present!
Hi Eli! I have listened to every episode! It’s SUCH a good podcast and it’s where I got my Ozempic information from this week. Thanks for reading!
Sideways topic, but I just remembered: Nicole, I heard a shout-out to “Nicole in Canada” on the Jiffy Pop Culture podcast a few weeks ago! And I do love me some Michael Hobbs. We have similar listening taste, methinks.
Angela, that was MEEEEEEE!!! I was so excited to hear my letter about Grandpa Fly on JPC!!! I’m excited you heard it too. xoxo
Like, make a cake and cut it and then Not Eat It? Why? This concept doesn’t compute for me. I do not get it. Not even on your birthday??????
I cannot express how much I love reading your perspective on things, and this is no exception. You write so eloquently and passionately about this topic and I found myself nodding along emphatically. It is SO HARD to be a woman in this society. I feel so grateful that I have found community with people who feel similarly about the role of food and who also struggle with the often competing desires to be healthy while enjoying food for all its many benefits and still feeling good about oneself. I don’t have a lot of offline friends who feel the same way, and it’s really tough. Especially when a lot of us have daughters of the same age, who are probably now fully immersed in this idea that our body size reflects our value as a human. It’s awful to hear these women, who grew up feeling all the kind of shame you mention, taking about their daughter’s bodies in a way that seems guaranteed to pass that kind of shame on. UGH. I have my own issues, for sure, but I really hope I am doing better by my kid, and that her body size is and always will be a non-issue. I say hope because it feels almost impossible to avoid those negative patterns.
OKAY MOVING ON TO POSITIVE THINGS: happy birthday to your husband! I am so glad you celebrated with cake.
Oh my goodness, the talk about DAUGHTER’S bodies, I mean, I just had to take a deep breath reading this. It is SO hard. I was listening to a podcast and a woman was talking about her career as an actress, and also how hungry she is all the time. It was upsetting to say the least.
Oh goodness, the whole weight thing is so depressing. I also have heard this about Ozempec, that it works while you take it and then your brain bounces back and you gain weight again after. And that it is so new that we don’t know what all of the side effects of long term use are. Kudos to you for mentioning the Minnesota Starvation Study. My daughter went through a terrifying bout with anorexia when she was in middle school, and that study was instrumental in the approach we took toward getting her eating again.
I have a doctor’s appointment this week, and I’ll confess that I am dreading having to be weighed. I truly wish it could be value neutral. Sigh. Bake your own cake, and then not eat any of it? That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard.
Oh my goodness, J, I am sorry you and your daughter went through that. How scary, and agonizing for a mom.
I have to say I was surprised to hear about Ozempic. I guess I just thought it was a permanent thing but really, I should have known better and if I had thought harder I would have maybe realized it.
I am so impressed with your take on all of this. I admit to still finding it hard and I can’t get rid of my at home scale – and subsequent madness when I get on it. My dad is on Ozempic for diabetes and he has lost weight and it works for him – because he is diabetic. But other people I know are on it for weight loss and it seems they don’t eat much at all anymore and therefore it seems kind of sad. I was also very conflicted when Oprah had a bunch of doctors – and the WW CEO – on her website special discussing the miracle of the drug – it just felt all strange to me in the way it was presented. I love your pictures and Happy Birthday to your schmoopy!
Anna, I just found that when I stepped on the scale I was either upset, or I was anxious to maintain the number. It was never a mentally healthy thing to do, and just…not doing it has made a huge impact on my life, for the better. I didn’t realize that Oprah was championing Ozempic, but wow, that makes me feel sad.
You know how I feel about the scale and weight and food. I had carrot cake this weekend and it was delicious. It has taken me so long to get to this point and I know I have a long way to go, but I am SO happy to be eating what I want, when I want, and how much I want.
I’ve been at it for 1.5 years and I’m about 5 lbs heavier than I was when ALL. I. THOUGHT. ABOUT. ALL. DAY was food and how to lose weight. I’ll eat my carrot cake and keep the 5 extra pounds (I weigh myself every few months because I do have a health issue that requires me to monitor weight).
Happy Birthday to your hubby. Let them eat cake, I say.
I’m so proud of you, Elisabeth! It’s not an easy thing to work through but you have done it, and you are doing it, and you are modelling healthy behaviour for your daughter as well. xoxo
Also – CARROT CAKE TWINSIES!!!
Oh Nicole I feel you on the food/dieting/women culture issue. My mom spent my entire youth dieting and worrying about her weight and it makes me so sad to think how much time and brain space she spent on that. I remember her telling me that she didn’t want to embarrass me by being “heavy” and even as a kid it made me want to cry. I told her 1,000,000 times that her appearance would never embarrass me (her yelling across the bathing suit store that they didn’t have a bikini top small enough for my breasts embarrassed the hell out of me, not how she looked). Raising a daughter in this culture is like trying to teach your kid now to swim in sewage and not drown. I frequently talk to her about the fact that unfortunately often girls and women bond over dieting and how much they don’t like their bodies and she might feel pressured to participate in that, but I wish she wouldn’t. I mention how much time and energy many girls/women devote to weight loss and how most boys/men never do and think about how much more time that means boys and men have to think about things like improving their grades, getting better at soccer (her favorite sport), drawing, painting, inventing stuff. Don’t give your precious time away. I just hate it so much. It’s so sad and toxic.
I think I need to print this comment out, it’s so spot on with everything. Don’t give your precious time away! If I had a chance to have a do-over, I would remember that. I hope. This: “Raising a daughter in this culture is like trying to teach your kid now to swim in sewage and not drown.” Maggie, exactly.
SO MUCH THIS. My mom was very overweight, and she told me how much she resented the amount of time she spent thinking about her weight and about food. All of that energy wasted that could be spent on better things. She felt it was a way for society to control women, by keeping them from doing other things.
Also, teaching your kid to swim in sewage….I feel like I want that line on a t-shirt or something.
When you’re starving, it’s hard to concentrate on doing anything else. Just think of all the mental power expended.
This s a really great post.
I have a lot of friends on Ozempic, and honestly? I’d like to take it. BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO BE THIN beause I grew up in this crapy diet culture, not in a feminist vacuum and UGH.
Sarah, that’s the thing, it’s so embedded in all of us. One of my favourite podcasts is the Deep Dive, and one of the women on there was saying that she wished she could take it, saying “I’m just so tired of being hungry all the time” and wow.
Oh, just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more. I completely agree with you on everything. I wish we could get together and talk about it over cake. I’ve observed a lot of people boasting about how little they eat. It’s quite common, and I don’t think most people are aware of it. OR shame others for eating too much. “You’re going to eat all that?” Yes, Betty. I am. Eff off. 🤣
OMG, Kari, once I was out for dinner with a group of women, and after I finished my meal one of them said “I can’t believe you ate all that! How did you eat all that? It was so much food!” And I was like, I don’t know, I was hungry? It was super embarrassing. Also it was fucking delicious!
Amen. We actually need…quite a bit of food! And our BODY KNOWS HOW TO SELF REGULATE IF WE LET IT.
I’m sorry, but food shaming and diet culture stole SO many years from me and a lot of peace around food and I’m just mad it’s still stealing so much from other women.
Also, food is more than just nutrients. It’s comfort and community and pleasure.
It absolutely is. xoxo
I used to worry about my weight and obsessed over every bite of food, every sip of alcohol, but I stopped after a serious illness clued me into what matters in life, that is staying alive. Hence I say: Eat the cake, Drink the wine. And avoid anyone who doesn’t understand this philosophy. Too many women have internalized the misogynistic idea that women must be super thin to have any value.
Ally, this is a brilliant reminder about what matters in life! Thanks, friend.
Holiday cards are coming SOON! I can’t wait. I should keep an eye out for a Minted deal in my email and get them ordered. Yay!!
I want to read those Newman books, but I’m already a girl on the edge about plane travel, so I might have to evaluate if it’s worth it to me to be able to part of the discussion. Not sure!
YES! I have to order mine because I think Vistaprint has a sale RIGHT NOW!
I think if you have any reticence about flying, DON’T READ THOSE BOOKS!!!
Amen sister amen. Don’t get me wrong, I benefited greatly from losing weight BUT cake has always been part of my diet plan. Like you I’d happily give up pie and donuts but cake is staying. Note to self, it’s been a while since I’ve had carrot cake…
You have such a healthy outlook, Birchy!
Ozempic is not actually currently approved for weight loss, however it is certainly prescribed off-label for that use. Ozempic is approved for type 2 diabetes, which can be a chronic serious illness. Why would one expect to stop taking it? Wegovy is the counterpart to Ozempic and is prescribed for weight loss to those with obesity – a BMI over 30, or over 27 with comorbidities. Obesity is currently recognized as a serious and often chronic illness with significant health implications. Why would one resist being on it long term if it helps rectify a dangerous health condition? Whether the drugs have downsides in long term, type 2 diabetes and obesity along with myriad related health complications absolutely do have long term serious downsides so why the resistance to utilize drug therapies that are proven to reduce those risks? The problem with traditional thinking and diet culture is that people should be able to will-power themselves to healthy eating habits and healthy weights – this simply is not always the case and is hard for those who haven’t dealt with obesity themselves or counselled obese patients to understand. Of course, none of this argument applies to celebrities trying to lose 10 pounds, that is an entirely different story and undermines the drastic positive effects this “new” class of drugs (which have been around for 11+ years now, so there is beginning to be some long term data.)
Hi Susan, welcome to my blog. As I said I’m not going to touch on the discourse surrounding Ozempic but I respectfully take your point with regards to long-term usage of semiglutides for diabetics. However, I can imagine there might be a number of reasons a person might not want to use a drug long term, financial cost and side effects being the two that pop into my head. We are in agreement that the traditional thinking of “willpower” is very flawed and, in my opinion, can lead to feelings of shame and subsequent weight cycling, which we can all agree is a huge detriment to optimal health.
That advice about the cake is so ridiculous. The whole weight thing is such a fraught issue. I spent a number of years in the wellness industry people with healthy, nutrition and fitness. I really gained a lot of compassion & understanding for women who have struggled lifelong with their weight. It kind of broke my heart, how many of these women felt about themselves.
That’s how I feel too, Pat, I just want to wrap everyone up in a great big hug.
It’s sad that we live in a world of extremes, where people overeat to the point of obesity and under-eat to anorexia. I am a person who does think about everything I put into my mouth because of the health issues I’ve had over the last 10 years and this is coming from someone who has always been thin. The food industry makes it very difficult because of the excess salt and sugar put into all our foods. I try to eat as much unprocessed foods as I can. It’s a topic I’m pretty passionate about.
However, the cake line is completely f*cked up and the reason why the diet industry, like Weight Watchers, is full of people who gain all their weight back.
YES! There is a difference between being conscious of what you eat to control health issues, and feeling shame about things like enjoying birthday cake. It sounds like you have struck a really good balance.
I loved reading your thoughts on this! I struggle with the obsession of weight and eating because I know that everything I put in my mouth will cause me to gain weight or lose weight, and I just can’t stop that thought. I still eat all the treats when I want them, and exercise daily for mental health, and enjoy life, but the thought is always there. I would love to get to the place where it’s not in my brain at all!
Yes, Colleen, I agree so much – I hate the idea of all that mental energy going towards food!
Oh Nicole, this really hits home with me. I was on a low carb diet for 20 years, and it worked great until I started having horrible digestive issues and was unable to eat that way. I gained some weight, but my digestive issues went away. It was so lovely to eat bread again! AND CAKE! I had almost made peace with food when I went to my doctor for my yearly physical and was told that I should lose some weight – and she recommended Weight Watchers. She said there’s a great app that makes it so easy, and you can eat anything you want, just within a certain amount of “points.” One month on that completely destroyed the progress I’d made. I lost 7 pounds before I got really angry and quit – and then I gained 20. Now I’m doing what I need to make peace with food. I know it’s possible. Thank you for writing about this topic!
Oh yes, I would love to be on your Christmas card exchange list!
Excellent!!! I’ll email you!
Sending you a huge hug, Michelle, because making peace with food can be such a challenge, especially in this world we live in. Digestive issues are painful and uncomfortable too. xoxo
Weight is so tough. I agree, it impacts women more. I’m blessed with a high metabolism and my heart breaks for people who struggle to be happy because of their weight. You standing in a ski shop refusing to step on a scale made me chuckle. I’m excited for you to get to do an activity that you enjoy and haven’t been able to do for awhile. I LOVE carrot cake, or at least I used to before celiac. I know there are ways to bake things GF, but I tend to cater to my gluten eaters. Plus I’m never sure if a GF recipe is going to be good and yummy or if it is going to taste GF, so I don’t bother because who wants to go to that effort and then have MEH results?
As always, I appreciate the book reviews.
Oooh I have been meaning to tell you for the longest time about my friend Gwen. She has a blog called Delightful Adventures and everything on it is gluten free. It looks pretty delicious, so maybe she has a carrot cake recipe that would be wonderful!
Happy belated birthday to your honey. I love your nickname for him.
The diet culture is so gross. LET US BE! LET US BE WHATEVER SIZE WE ARE!
Can you imagine a life where you don’t get to have cake? Ever? No thanks.
Yay for you getting back into skiing–that will be fun for you as I know you love to MOVE.
YES, add me to your Christmas list, please. Shoot me an email to exchange addresses.
BusyBeeSuzBlog
@
Gmail.com
Yay! Sending you an email RIGHT NOW!
And no, I will not imagine a life with no cake – that is too sad!!!
Why would I bake a cake and not eat it?!?!? That sounds like a lot of work. I feel like I’m missing something here.
I like the idea of weight being value neutral. Last year I read How to Keep House While Drowning and the author talks about housework being morally neutral, and it made me think that more things should be neutral. What is the point of feeling shame over being unable to keep the house clean or maintain the ideal weight? And by whose standards??? There must be better metrics for health, right? I never really thought about weight until I hit my forties, and had my third kid and couldn’t make the post partum belly go away. But even though I weigh more, I’m treating my body more healthily and doing things that make me happy, much more than I used to.
I love How to Keep House While Drowning. It was so full of great information and so gentle, too. I like the idea of applying it to our bodies!
Hey Nicole! “bake a cake, cut the cake, serve the cake, but DO NOT EAT THE CAKE.” WHOT?????
My whole life I took my weight for granted 5’7” at 120 lb. Now, at 42, after two kids, and on Lexapro, I am 130. And I think that is my new weight and it is not going away. Someone else mentioned – weight issue is so loaded. In other countries (Ghana but don’t quote me?), women take pills to gain weight and to become more robust therefore more attractive.
Definitely in Botswana is it considered good to be a curvy girl! We need to adopt a bit more of that!
Weight is a very loaded issue – and so subjective, as you say!
I always appreciate your thoughts on diet culture and eating. I agree with everything you have said here. I have spent a lot of time unlearning diet culture and being okay with my fat body as it is, and I still have plenty of unlearning to do. I am finally in a space where I want to learn more about how to properly fuel my body but the end goal is ALWAYS satisfaction. I want to enjoy food and enjoy life, and spending all of my time and energy worrying about calorie counting isn’t enjoyable.
Stephany, I am so so so happy you are in such a good place with your body and fueling is. Enjoying life is so important! xo
Can we be Christmas card friends? I will text you my address. I adore Christmas cards. We opted not to do family pics this year because the adults are still kind of scarred from the experience we had last year… like really scarred. So I am going to have to work off the candids I have of the kids.
I loved Falling! Drowning is good, too. I really love the author’s backstory and it makes me love the books even more!
The whole weight thing is tough. I have sons so the topic of weight and dieting is not as crucial for them, but it is still crucial. I am very careful about modeling good behavior for them – like saying ‘mommy gets to go for a run.’ I have had to accept my body where it is at and that is harder than I wish it was. But focusing on how to dress my body is really important. And if I am going to the trouble of making a cake, you can bet I am going to eat it!!
I’m so excited to be Christmas card friends with you!
The weight thing IS tough, especially modelling healthy behaviour for our children! And yes, it’s not just a matter of “yay I accept my body!” – it takes a LOT of work to get there.
I remember having a friend when I was in my late teens/early 20s who would only eat baked potatoes with mustard. That was her diet, as apparently mustard does not have calories (?) However, she was rail thin but was obsessed with not gaining an ounce more of “fat.” We were at the bar and the rest of us were eating hamburgers and fries and she sat there picking at her baked potato and I just felt bad for her that her that she had been taught that this is what is important!
That is one thing that getting older does make you a bit more humble about, I think. Things are going to move and sag and fold and weaken, and we better darn get used to it or we will drive ourselves crazy! I think you have talked about the pre-menopause midsection before; I am getting that for sure! My pants are a bit tighter or my butt doesn’t quite fit in them like it used to, and I am trying to be realistic about things and learn to lean into it rather than get upset.
Oh Kyria, that is SO sad, the baked potato with mustard. What a way to go through your days.
I’m in very good shape and yet that tummy of mine has a mind of its own, so I guess it’s here to stay!
Happy birthday to your husband – another October baby. I am fond of October babies (Jon’s birthday was 1,5 weeks ago :)) and I am TEAM CAKE.
You’d probably be surprised to hear that I’ve never been on a diet but weigh myself every single day – but not because I am obsessed with the number on the scale, but because I am a statistics nerds and I like to measure ALL THE THINGS LOL (I can see how that is not healthy for some, but for me, it has no mental impact whatsoever. I will admit that I feel that I am very lucky that I have never really dealt with weight issues and are privileged to feel so nonchalant about it, and that this is not the typical female experience). Good for you for NOT knowing your weight and refusing to give the number on the scale any power over you.
Happy birthday to our husbands! Hooray for Libras AND cake!