There are few graver mistakes in the acquisition of comestibles than visiting Costco on the Tuesday after a holiday Monday. It is a mistake I made this past week. How I could have possibly made such an error in judgement is beyond my comprehension entirely. Did I have a brain lapse? Did I forget how calendars work? Am I new to this planet? Who can say, but in any case last Tuesday I found myself questioning all of my life choices.
It didn’t even occur to me, what I had done, until I found myself in a lineup just to get into the parking lot, which was, itself, completely full. When I recounted this later to my husband, he said, Why didn’t you just turn around and come home? which actually did occur to me, at that point, but we all know how it goes. Sometimes, we just want to push through. Sometimes, we throw good money after bad. Sometimes, we think, this is going to be a mistake, but what the hell. Sometimes, we feel like we didn’t come this far just to get this far, and so I proceeded to the very far corner of the parking lot where there was one single spot left.
It will be great to get extra steps in! I thought optimistically, grabbing a cart from the carrel and heading in to what can only be described as incredible chaos. I have never seen anything like this, not even when, in a moment of demented confidence, I went to Costco on a Sunday afternoon. It was bumper-to-bumper traffic, but with carts. There were lineups to get to the cashiers that spanned the entire length of the store, blocking off entire aisles and making it impossible to move forward, and yet, it was equally impossible to move backward, so aborting the mission was not an option.
I inched forward to my destined aisles, one side of which were blocked off by the cash lineups, but it got so much worse when I discovered that the aisles themselves were filled with lines of people waiting to get free samples. I wondered if I would die there, surrounded by large-scale baking supplies.
Was it worth it, I asked myself. Was the Kirkland brand coffee and trail mix really worth it?
Well, we make decisions in our lives and then we live with the consequences of those decisions. And eventually I did make it out back out into the parking lot, I did make it back to the far corner where I was parked, and a spot was opened up directly beside me. A man in a truck pulled into the spot; his windows were opened so I could hear him exclaim There IS a god!
I laughed as he got out of the truck, and mentioned that his belief in the divine might be challenged once he got into the store, at which point he offered to take my now-empty shopping cart for his own use. I gratefully accepted the offer, which brings me to my main point.
Although I strive to live my life without casting aspersions or judgement on others, in one area I am as rigid as a steel pole, and that is with regards to people who do not return their shopping carts to the designated parking lot carrels. This is certainly not new information to anyone who has known me for even the smallest length of time; although I do think there are very occasionally extenuating circumstances that would excuse this behaviour, the vast majority of non-cart-returners are, I think we can all agree, atrocious people. Not returning a cart indicates either pure laziness or complete disregard for other people’s well-being, or a mix of the two.
One very interesting thing I that have noticed since arriving in Kelowna is that there are no errant carts in the parking lot. None! All of the carts are happily ensconced in their familial carrels, snuggled neatly up with one another, just like nature intended. Juxtapose this utopia with the Calgary Costco parking lots, where there would be at least a dozen carts scattered throughout the parking lot, parking stalls, and on top of the parking medians. I have always been a strong believer in the Invisible Hand Theory of Shopping Carts, in that people will behave in everyone’s best interest if there is an economic incentive involved which, in this case, is a coin-operated cart. To blend Smith with Hobbes, I would say without that incentive, parking lot life is nasty and brutish, although not particularly short.
I wonder now if I have been wrong all these years, and if my theory was location-specific, and not a global phenomenon. Are people less atrocious here? Is it the beautiful weather and scenery that makes people cheerfully return their carts? Is it all the local fruit and wine? Time will tell but at the moment, things seem paradisical, at least from a shopping cart perspective. They were less paradisical from an actual shopping perspective, but despite what messaging we Gen X women have been subjected to through our youth, we cannot have it all. I guess right now what I gain in shopping cart happiness I lose in shopping experience happiness.
Weekly Reading
The Stand-In. This was a cute and light romance with a big side of family and friendship. It concerns a Toronto woman who is a lookalike to a Chinese film star, and she becomes her stand in for public appearances when the film star has issues with anxiety and depression. Of course the appearances take place with her male costar, who is a dreamboat, and you can probably guess the rest. This book was fun but I thought it was about a third too long; some parts really dragged for me – and it’s a light romance, it shouldn’t drag! Anyway, the ending was well worth it, as feel-good endings go, so overall it was enjoyable.
I Feel Bad About My Neck. Recently Engie (HI ENGIE) asked if there was a book that made you feel seen, and this is one of them for me. This resonated even more so than it did when I first read it, five or so years ago. I love Nora Ephron and I love this collection of essays about aging as a woman. It contains one of my favourite lines ever: “Not having to worry about your hair anymore must be the secret upside to being dead.” Word. Something to look forward to, the next time I find myself contemplating my own demise whilst in Costco.
A Tree Grows In Brooklyn. Speaking of Engie, I took part in a very fun blogger’s book club, hosted by her this summer, and this was the book we read. I had read it before, but many years ago, so there were many parts that I did not remember. It’s much sadder and a bit more scandalous than I remember, about a girl growing up in the tenements of Brooklyn in the 1910s. What I really loved about this book was its realism: in an autobiographical turn, Francie writes stories about her life for a school assignment and the teacher berates her for writing about ugliness in life. Francie is astonished, because she found beauty in all of life’s hardships. This is a beautiful coming-of-age book but it does have a lot of internalised misogyny, racism, and antisemitism; the language is typical of that place and time but it can be upsetting to modern readers. I first read this before I had children, and this time around I found myself simultaneously relating to and also judging harshly the decisions and feelings of Francie’s mother, Katie. It is well worth a read or a revisit. The final chapter is one of the most moving and wonderful feel-good chapters in any book. Francie looks around her neighbourhood before she moves away to go to college and thinks “…she knew she would never see it again. Eyes changed after they looked at new things. If in the years to be, she were to come back, her new eyes might make everything seem different from the way she saw it now. The way it was no was the way she wanted to remember it.” If you’ve ever visited your childhood home or places you loved as a child, you know this to be so true.
Speaking of old neighbourhoods, my Calgary neighbourhood friend Lyndsey (HI LYNDSEY) sent me this photo of my old house:
Do you see what that is in the front yard, beside the door? It is a shopping cart. According to Lyndsey, that cart has been there for weeks. I feel this is some kind of sign from the universe, but what it means I am not yet sure. If you have any theories, I would be happy to hear them, and in the meantime, I’ll leave you with a photo of my current neighbourhood Baloo, who I spotted on my way home from grocery shopping, heading down our neighbour’s driveway. xo
I am ALWAYS here for your shopping cart discussions. This was just a delight to read from start to finish and I laughed out loud multiple times. So…was the coffee and trailmix worth it? I need to know <3
ATGIB was rather shocking to me this time around. Full disclosure – I loved it far much more when I read it before kids. I found a lot of sections downright painful to get through this time. This reminds me of my experience with Jane Eyre (and please-forgive-me-can-we-still-be-friends?) and Pride and Prejudice this year. I think the lesson in here is for me to not re-read beloved books?
Bears?! Yikes. My big issue lately is spiders. We installed security cameras recently (YOU KNOW WHY!) and now I have 100s of videos of spiders spinning webs around the camera. Hmmm. Didn't see that issue coming. At least I know they're sensitive and the infrared works great – haha. Also, spiders are incredible. Watching the webs being built is downright mindblowing!
Hi Elisabeth! I can’t access your blog and I was wondering if there’s a problem? I hope everything is OK.
Michelle, Elisabeth’s blog was accidentally deleted from the server and she’s working to get it back/ start a new blog.
Thank you for that info. Nicole! I’m sorry to hear it!!
Elisabeth, I know exactly what you mean. It’s VERY hard to read if you have that kind of motherly empathy. I found so many parts to be so upsetting and difficult to read. That said, I loved the last chapter very much and have been thinking about it a lot. You know I love P&P (time for ME to reread!) but I am 100% with you on Jane Eyre. I mean…what. What. WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS BOOK.
Wait. The people who live in your old house have a SHOPPING CART next to the front door??? So should we assume that in addition to not returning it to the carrel, they went a step further and stole it from the store? Why and how would that even happen? It’s definitely a sign for you, if you can decipher the meaning.
I LOVED the ending of ATGIB so, so much. Yes, there were certain things about the book that didn’t age well, but it was written in the 1940s (I think?) Overall I thought it was a beautiful book. Now we have to convince Engie to pick another book for our book club!
I mean, there are many stores within walking distance so technically I guess anyone could take any cart with them anywhere – but it’s so funny that it’s MY old house!
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is one of my mother-in-law’s favorite books and for the longest time she was on an unsuccessful campaign to get North to read it. I’ve read a it a couple times (as a kid and in grad school) but not recently and given what you said about parts of it not aging well, I think it’s just as well North never read it. They often aren’t interested in putting things like that in historical context. (Maybe I could say the same of myself. I just read Robinson Crusoe and I couldn’t get over the fact that when he was on the island repenting of his sins, it never occurs to him that the biggest one was that he was a SLAVEHOLDER.)
I have never read Robinson Crusoe, can you believe it? And so I had no idea! I think it’s probably just as well that North passes it by, because some of the language is pretty awful and there is SO much misogyny.
Oh, that shopping experience sounds terrible! But, with keeping life’s challenges in perspective, just a small annoyance in the grand scheme of things.
So, when I was a little kid, we lived across the street from a grocery store for a few years and we had our own shopping cart. (I have no idea how we got it – I am certain my parents didn’t purchase it, nor would they have taken it from the store.) We’d push it across the street, shop, and bring our groceries home in the cart. I wonder, do you know if the new owners of your old house have small children, or are they elderly? Could they be using it to get groceries? Are there stores in walking distance? Anyway, there’s my theory!! Hope you have a good week. Xx.
Oh yes, absolutely they would use it for groceries, Chrisoula – there are many stores within walking distance. It’s just funny it’s just hanging out in the front yard!
Your description of your Costco ordeal made me laugh! I can’t stand Costco at the best of times. It’s like any grocery store before a long weekend – a one day closing is like the apocalypse is coming.
YES PAT!!! The one day closure seems to equate to the apocalypse indeed!
I HAVE MADE THIS COSTCO MISTAKE!! And like you I HAVE SOLDIERED ON. Solidarity, sister.
We didn’t come this far just to get this far!
Oh, Costco! I have a love/hate relationship with Costco! They have stuff that I can’t live without! (Well, I probably could, but you know….) But they don’t open until 10:00, which is really inconvenient for me. I like to shop early, and then I have to wait around for Costco to open.
I fell over laughing about the shopping cart in your old front yard! That’s very interesting! Who knew Calgary was full of shopping cart miscreants! I’m glad your new city is more polite. I think people in my town are pretty good about returning carts – I wouldn’t even dream of leaving one where it shouldn’t be.
Michelle, I am with you. Yes, I COULD live without some Costco items, but WHAT KIND OF LIFE WOULD IT BE. I mean, Kirkland coffee is the best coffee, IMO.
When I lived in Massachusetts, going to Costco after work, on any day, was an ordeal, but in Florida, that is the time to go. My mother once commented to an employee about how quiet it was, and they told her, yes, come around 5, “that’s when they’ve all gone to the club.” I guess it makes sense, as there are so many retirees here, but it still shocks me. Even the grocery store is the same way!
It’s the magic shopping hour! That is brilliant to know!
Wait…why is Costco busy AFTER a holiday weekend? We had to go on Thursday before the long weekend and it was dire. I’m confused about the timing. When is it okay to go to Costco?!
I love the Stand-In so much. I thought it tackled some harder topics than the usual fluffy romance novel. I also didn’t think it dragged, but there you go. We can still be friends.
I’m so sad that I finished ATGIB. What will I do with myself now?
Engie, it’s because Costco was closed on the holiday Monday, so it had all the Monday shoppers as well as Tuesday ones. According to the cashiers this always happens. People get desperate for trail mix! Lol.
I never would have thought Costco would be busy on the Tuesday after a holiday! I would have thought people were at school and work and it’d be deliciously quiet! I do not witness abandoned carts often at all. I get pissy that people don’t push their cart to the back of the cart corral, so seeing an abandoned cart would REALLY set me off!
I read The Stand-in last week, too. I thought it was sweet and fun.
But omg, that bear!!!!
Oh Lisa, you’d go crazy if you saw what happens in my old Costco parking lot. Carts everywhere! Including in parking SPOTS.
I don’t go to Costco even though I am sure there are deals to be had… it’s just impossible! Our Target re-did their parking lot and took out the shopping cart return in the first aisle. Last time I counted there were 15 abandoned carts… but in this case I actually don’t blame people because the only option is to return the cart back to the store, which is a pretty long walk if you are at the end of the row! If I had a baby or toddler, there is no way.
What a mistake that is! No cart return in the parking lot? That’s so weird!
This is why I don’t shop at Costco! Ha!
But the coffee! Lol!
I’m so confused about the crowds at Costco. What you describe is similar to the pandemic (just before or when they reopened) sort of thing. So nuts. I have done similar things – “Well, I’m here now. I may has well just get it over with.” I’m glad you survived and were not injured by the free sample stampede.
I am in SHOCK about the randomness of an empty grocery cart being situated at your former front door. What is the message there? I think the universe is warning your former neighbors that these people are not Nicole-ish in any way shape or form. Sadly. I mean, the mold was broken after unique and wonderful you. 😉
Oh, Baloo. Love it, but also WOW – HE’S LIKE RIGHT THERE.
“I’m here now, let’s get it over with” is my motto when it comes to shopping!
I was talking with girlfriends on the weekend about this and I learned that this Costco is the busiest one IN ALL OF CANADA! So that explains a lot.
Sometimes the universe sends us very profound signs, and sometimes…it sends you a picture that the person living in your house has a shopping cart by the front door???????? I can’t even.
Every once in a while I like to live dangerously and go to Costco at peak times. I won’t get their gas if there are more than two cars per lane waiting to get in, but ya gotta have the bumper to bumper carts in the store once in a while.
It’s been a long time since I read Neck, but I’m a big Nora Ephron fan. Have you read Heartburn? That was the most recent thing of hers that I’ve read and it was incredible. I’m sad to see the end of ATGIB, it’s one of those rare books that just really was THAT GOOD.
Birchy, I have read and loved Heartburn! It’s so good!
You know what, I have NEVER gotten gas at Costco. The lines are always such a deterrent to me. I guess I can put up with lines for coffee, but not for gas.
I’ve never read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, but your description of the final chapter made me cry. Seeing that shopping cart in your old front yard brought me to tears as well. It also made me laugh because I know how you (and I) feel about returning shopping carts to the corrals. What is the Universe trying to tell you?
Kari, it’s a good question! What is the universe saying? It’s a sign but WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
I’m so sorry you got caught in the Costco debacle – I also find the Monday after a Payday is an absolute disaster!! Really Costco in general makes me question life choices, but onward we must go. Baloo is cute – but definitely from afar!!
Onward we go indeed!
Yes, Baloo is very cute and fuzzy – but also, terrifying? He stood up on his hind legs to look at me and I’m surprised I didn’t drop dead right there. Or pee.
Well, this whole post was just a delight, the whole shopping-nightmare and shopping-cart-etiquette parts in particular. I too am fervent about The Importance of Correctly Returning Shopping Carts; ever since reading your posts on the topic, I’ve started Being The Change by rescuing a stranded cart or two on my way into the store—to the point of feeling DISAPPOINTED if there aren’t any to rescue. Every Single Time I do it, I think of you, and of Cart Karma.
I’ve added the Nora Ephron to my library list to re-read. I read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn for the first time only a few years ago, and it reminded me so strongly of the books I liked best as a child.
Awww Swistle! This is just so sweet! We are saving the world one cart at a time – BE THE CHANGE!!!
Holy cow! That bear looks humongous! But also, huggable! 🤣 I’m taking your first book recommendation. I’ve read the other two. Tree was also for book club for me and I enjoyed it.
Your writing is phenomenal, Nicole! It was like I was right there at Costco with you, chuckling along the way. However, I’ve never noticed that grocery stores were busy the day after a holiday?? They always seem empty to me. Maybe it’s a Costco thing?
Don’t shoot me, but I used to not return my cart when my kids were babies. I was paranoid someone would kidnap them or something and I didn’t like to lock them in and walk away. And it’s only been in the last 20 years that there have been cart carrels. Back in the day, returning a cart meant going back to the entrance. Sooooo, that’s my excuse!
The cart by your old house is bizarre and needs some follow up. We are confounded here by a house that sold 6 months ago with the new people moved in, yet there’s still the realtor lock box on the front door.
Lol, the bear is certainly cute but mayyyyybe not so huggable!
I think it is definitely a Costco thing since they are closed on the holiday, so it’s like anyone who normally shops on Mondays goes on Tuesdays, so it’s very busy.
I think having small babies and no cart carrel nearby is the one and only exception to the cart return rule! New moms get a pass on everything in my books! xo
Glad to hear your new fellow Costco shoppers are much more considerate! Apparently, the rude ones just show up at your dog park.
Hahaha! Yes!
I can’t put away my shopping cart without hearing your voice in my head. EVER!!
I had a good laugh at your shopping and shopping cart exploration here. I would have turned around and left Costco at the sight of the parking lot. I don’t have the strength any longer to deal with times like that. Nope.
WTF with the cart at your old house?! Do you think that CART IS LOOKING FOR YOU?
MAYBE IT IS LOOKING FOR ME!!! It needs my help to find its way home!
I love Costco, but I have yet to find the perfect time to go. Perhaps there is none? Weekends are horrible. Monday is horrible. Friday is horrible. Maybe Tuesday at 10am? Is not bad if I don’t linger. But I am a Costco lingerer. Sorry! Only I am not allowed to go to Costco by myself anymore, says the Husband. He goes to Costco at 3:30pm on a weekday and doesn’t take a cart. Perhaps that’s the secret? The worst mistake I ever made (okay, maybe not *the* worst, but pretty soul sucking) was going to Costco on March 13th, 2020 when everything was starting to shut down. It was absolutely surreal – people in varying degrees of panic and worry and shock, with carts overflowing. I think I was there for over two hours.
I listened to the Stand In on audio, mostly because it was read by Phillppa Soo, of Hamilton fame. I have a weakness for audiobooks read by Hamilton cast members. I liked it a lot – I don’t see a lot of romance novels with Asian main characters, so yay representation!
Oh, I love Philippa Soo! I did really like this book but I thought it was so long. However, I loved all the layers in it. It was more than a romance, which I liked a lot.
I went to Costco in March 2020 but not March 13 – and I remember what it was like! Egads.
OMG, Nicole! I almost fell out of my chair right now when I read what was parked in front of your old house! What does it all mean?! The oracle (umm… Google) tells me that an empty shopping cart is a sign of (a) feeling of emptiness or a lack of direction (b) a feeling of loneliness and a need for comfort (c) a need to prepare for something or to plan for the future (d) a premonition for a transcendence into a realm of higher consciousness. I think your old house misses you all!!
Your Costco nightmare had me on the edge of my seat as well, will Nicole make it? (I’m so happy you did.) I had a couple of similar experiences on the highway in the middle of a storm–no way but forward (even when there was little visibility and it all seemed impenetrable).
Oh yes, I have also had that highway experience! Terrifying but nothing for it but to keep going.
I LOVE your analysis. My old house misses me!!!
I wouldn’t have put it together that the Tuesday after a Monday holiday would be busy at Costco. The Friday before the holiday, yes– but after? Who knew? As for “no errant carts in the parking lot” I am flabbergasted. Are you living in Shangri-La now?
Ally, the Tuesday busyness is because when Costco is closed for a holiday, it’s like an apocalyptic happening. All the people who shop Mondays have to join the Tuesday crowd, and here we are!
It is very possible I’m in Cart Shangri-La – but apparently, this Costco is the busiest one in ALL OF CANADA, and so it’s a trade-off.
Oh man, being in such a busy store is always SO overwhelming for me and leaves me feeling like I’ll never, ever see my home again. Am I dramatic? That’s not for me to judge. Kudos for getting through the Costco craziness!
I have The Stand-In on my bookshelf! I need to read it soon. I’ve heard it’s really sweet/cute.
I don’t think you’re being dramatic, but after all, I wondered if I would actually shuffle off this mortal coil while shopping, so I might not be the best judge!
A crowded store like that gives me claustrophobia, I can’t handle it at all. Kudos to you for surviving.
Deserted shopping carts don’t bother me in the least, I’m not sure why. I guess I usually think that the person had the extenuating circumstances you mentioned. I remember when I had my first RA flare, and the idea of crossing the grocery store was enough to bring me to tears, walking hurt so much. So I think, if someone is exhausted or in pain or having balance issues, it may be too much for them to return it. To be clear, I always put my cart away. Though during that very painful flair, I may have left it free and wild once or twice, I honestly don’t remember.
I LOVED ATGIB too…I was so sure I had read it before, but I remembered nothing, so now I think probably I hadn’t. I didn’t comment much on Engie’s blog, though, because Friday is my day that I can comment on Blogger blogs, blah blah blah. (Computer issue, I don’t have a set schedule for different days or anything.)
J, those are exactly the extenuating circumstances I’m talking about! I have nothing but compassion. However, a lot of people are just lazy, and that sucks.
Deserted shopping carts are one of my pet peeves, esp. when they’re left in an open parking spot, so people who want to use the spot have to get out and move the cart. WTH? Why is it hard to walk an few extra steps to put the cart back where it belongs?
I loved ATGIB as well (although I fell off the bandwagon because my loan expired and then there was a wait to get it back and then life got in the way… yadda, yadda). I am intent on finishing it again though .
San, me too. ME TOO. It’s so inconvenient and rude! Especially since there are cart carrels everywhere!