Are You Feeling Hot! Hot! Hot!
Since I got here, it has been one beautiful day after another; summer here is absolutely gorgeous. If I had even one day like this in Calgary – warm and sunny, windless and without storms – I would be frantically spending every possible second outside, carpe diem, not wanting to waste a beautiful day. Weather there is always so volatile – one of my girlfriends texted me last week to say it was 13 degrees and pouring rain – so I’m ever so grateful to be living in a place where I can predict what the day will bring. Summer weather in the summer, what a novel concept!
I was a bit concerned, moving here, how Rex would do in the heat. He’s definitely a cold-weather dog, and I was worried that the temperatures would be too hot for him, but so far it has not been a problem. I walk him at 8:00 at the latest, and our walking route is a beautiful trail that is almost entirely shaded. It winds along a creek, which he enjoys drinking from and also is the reason his white paws are completely grubby all the time now. Attached to this path is an offleash park, which is also shaded and has water taps, bowls, and kiddie pools. It also had, one day, Rex’s doppelgänger.
As an aside, one of the first days I was at the offleash a very attractive young man was chatting with me and told me not to worry about the water in the bowls, he had just filled them, adding, ominously, You know, I don’t trust the old water, because of that woman. Wait, what woman? I told him I just moved here and he explained that there was a woman who would came to dog parks, with no dog, and poisoned the water in the bowls. Several dogs got sick and one actually DIED. I listened to this story with wide, horrified eyes, and was reminded of my days at the playground, how the young mothers would warily eye men without children, sitting on the benches. In any case, now that Rex has discovered the giant water bowl that is in the creek, he is completely uninterested in the water at the offleash.
I do love our morning walk route, but I have had to adjust to driving to get to the trail, rather than just strolling out the door, as I was used to doing. The first morning I was here I decided I WOULD walk to the trail; it was only about two kilometres, and I had used it as a running route before, so I was sure it would be just fine. Well. I had grossly misjudged how stressful it would be to walk down a busy road with no sidewalks, only a bike lane, with an enormous and excited dog bounding around, while cars zipped past. It took all my strength to keep the leash short and Rex on the inside, which backfired completely when he excitedly discovered not only a dead raccoon, but several squashed birds, at which point my soul briefly left my body. Suddenly, it didn’t seem like driving five minutes was such a hardship to be avoided.
International Costco Woman of Mystery
I have been slowly getting used to the grocery stores here. Sure, Superstore is Superstore, and Costco is Costco, but there are differences from what I’m used to. I think the biggest difference is that because Kelowna is just over a tenth of the size of Calgary, there is only one of each of those stores, and hence they are very busy. I made the mistake of going to Costco on a day that was a bit cooler and overcast – but still, temperature-wise, would have been considered a hot day in Calgary – and it was INSANE. It reminded me of the Costco in Maui, and just writing that makes me feel like I am a fancy world-Costco-traveller. Nicole: The International Costco Woman of Mystery could be the name of my memoir. Anyway, the layout was the same as the one in Maui and opposite of that in Calgary, which made it tricky to find everything on my list, and also it was so busy as to be almost impossible to maneuver through the aisles. It was literal bumper-to-bumper cart traffic. Perhaps it will be easier when tourist season is over.
The biggest difference for me, grocery-wise, is Superstore. It’s not just the layout, it’s the actual products that are available. Calgary in general and the part of the city in which I lived in particular is much more multicultural than here, and so the international foods aisle was always a cornucopia of fun and interesting items. Here, this is not the case. A quarter of the international aisle is filled with British products, like spotted dick, which I am not in the market for, culinary or otherwise, and the selection of Asian, Indian, and African items is pretty limited. I’m finding it hard to find noodles I like, is what I’m saying.
Hi Neighbourino
Probably the largest adjustment I have had to make has to do with my next-door neighbour. Before I get into that, a little context: my husband grew up on his family-owned vineyard, and about twenty years ago his family sold it and the attached winery, keeping two acres of it. The house in which we are living was originally his grandparents’; we added a second floor to it and took the existing house down to the studs, renovating it completely. It is such an incredibly fortunate thing to be able to live in a beautiful new house on a vineyard, overlooking the lake and the city. Every morning I wake up and look out the windows and feel so very lucky.
There is one thing that I feel you should know, and I’m mentioning it in a very casual, value-neutral way, and that is that there is another house on this two acre property, and that house belongs to my mother-in-law. While you absorb that information, I will hasten to assure you that my mother-in-law and I have a good relationship, albeit one that has been cultivated long-distance over the past twenty-five years. She is not one of those women who think that No One Is Good Enough For Her Precious Son; in fact, she thinks everything I do and every decision I make is Just Wonderful, Dear, which is lovely and, I think, rare. She is not a person who insists on having every meal together; in fact, I can’t even remember the last time we had a dinner together, it might have been Thanksgiving 2020.
But still, living next door is a lot different from twice-or-thrice annual visits, and so this is an adjustment to be sure, mostly a mental one. My main concern is maintaining boundaries and protecting personal privacy, for both of us, and mostly it’s been fine. We had an open and honest conversation about this prior to the move, which was INCREDIBLY difficult for me, because I don’t know how you grew up in the 80s and 90s, but open and honest conversation was not part of the story for me. In any case, there have been a few gentle bumps, but mostly it’s been fairly smooth sailing.
Bye Bye Birdie
In eighteen days, my older son is moving on campus for his first year at university. He’s so excited, and I’m so excited for him, and also, landslide. The university is close to us, so this feels like a very soft landing, but it’s still going to be a big change. In the meantime, I’m really cherishing having four faces at the dinner table. When he was working shift work this past year, I found myself thinking that the nights he was home for dinner was a real treat; this past month I feel spoiled having both the boys here all the time. What I am going to say is nothing new or original or earth-shattering, but I just love my boys so much; I am so proud of them both and I think they are incredible people, and I can hardly believe my luck that the universe gave them to me. It’s been so wonderful having them both here this summer, and of course it’s going to change very soon, and, like everything else, I will adjust to the changes. All you who have been through this know what it is.
Weekly Reading
First of all, thank you all for your very kind comments of understanding and stories of hope, with regards to Bookmarkgate. So far they have not been recovered, but there are some boxes with garage items and gardening implements that I have not yet gone through, and although I’m not very hopeful, I’m not COMPLETELY hopeless. It’s more like 90% hopeless, as opposed to 100% before your lovely comments. We hosted our first dinner party this weekend and my sweet friend Sammi (HI SAMMI) brought me bookmarks as a housewarming, to “tide me over until the others were found.” I have such lovely friends!
Prep. When I was a kid I was obsessed with the idea of boarding school. It just seemed so fun and cool. Is it just me or does everyone think this? Anyway, this book is a very realistic portrait of a girl from Indiana who goes to a New England boarding school on scholarship; it shows her evolution from freshman to senior, and I really liked it. It showed an insular and privileged world, with all the angst of a teen in the 90s. I thought it was such a true picture of what it was to be a teen at that time, albeit in a very different life than the one I had.
Here we are at the end of a long weekend, and I hope yours was great. Have a lovely week, everyone! xo
You already sound like a local, waiting for the tourists to leave your (former vacation) hometown.
I had to look up spotted dick. Doesn’t look too appealing.
Good luck to M! What will J be up to this year?
Lol, and I used to be one of those tourists! The lady at Costco said “and where are you from?” and it was strange to say I live here!
J is on a gap year, working!
You sound like you’re getting the swing of it in your new hometown. I remember moving from a smaller community to the *big* city here and how shopping in grocery stores seemed so oddly the same, oddly different. Soon it’ll be second nature.
Same but different, exactly! I feel like I’m practically rural now, although this is a city. Just…a small city! I’m still getting used to having to drive 10-15 minutes pretty much everywhere, as opposed to just walking to where I need to be.
I enjoyed reading about your adventures as you start settling in! It’s so cool that this is a house with family history. I lived next door to my in-laws for 28 years, until they passed away, and I was lucky to have such a good relationship with them. It sounds like you’re off to a good start and you have the right attitude about it.
Michelle, this comment completely cheered me!!! 28 years and it was good! Well, that is just wonderful and makes me very hopeful and optimistic!
I’m not ashamed to admit that I was relieved when my oldest stepson chose a local university and to stay at home. I know the baby birds will leave the nest one day, but I’m in no hurry to get there.
I’m always down for more time with my inlaws, but yes right next door could be tricky.
Sigh I’ve only been to my local Costco. Maybe this can be my next travel goal. I’m not afraid to march into any old grocery store and not know where anything is, but having a different layout for Costco sounds challenging.
Yes, my younger son is taking a gap year to work and it’s really nice to not have to speed the process up. I HEAR YOU BIRCHY WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE!
I find different Costco layouts to be kind of unsettling – WHERE IS EVERYTHING – but I’m sure I’ll get used to it soon!
Rex and his twin are such an amazing pair! I hope they get to play with each other again.
Oh, I feel you so hard about how sometimes you just have to drive to take your dog somewhere. Yes, there are lovely areas to walk Hannah right in our neighborhood, but sometimes she wants something new! (Did you ever watch the Netflix show Dark? There are scenes with dead birds falling out of the sky. That’s the reference you need to know to understand that there were three dead birds just on the sidewalk on our walking route this morning and I looked at Hannah and asked her if were in an episode of Dark, but she was too busy trying to sniff the interesting dead birds to answer. So. Yeah. Dogs. They like to smell disgusting things.)
I have never seen that show! I…probably won’t, to be honest. I have enough dead birds as is (one killed itself on our bedroom window the other day, and that was fairly disturbing).
Well, first of all… having your son leave home, even if he won’t be living far away, is one of those things in life that seems like it should be easier than it really is. I mean, we KNOW it’s going to happen, and of course we want it to happen- we don’t want them to live at home forever (or do we???) But it’s so, so hard to make that transition. I just said goodbye to my son for the third year in a row, and it still hurts. What I’m saying is… give yourself time and permission to grieve- it’s hard missing that fourth face at the table.
REX!!! I just love him so much. I love that there’s an off leash park and a creek for him to play in. But what kind of person would POISON the water like that? That is TERRIBLE!
Sounds like everything is going smoothly, including getting adjusted to your new neighbor! It’s very lucky you have such a good relationship, and she sounds like a reasonable person (and I’m already scheming to figure out how I can live next door to my son someday, ha ha.)
I realize I missed your book post, and am making my way the right now!
I thought of you, actually, Jenny! Texas is so far from Florida, and my son will not be very far away at all. Still, it will be an adjustment, and I’m thinking of you and how you must be sad right now. xo
I have so much to say, but the first thing I will share is that my kid is obsessed with “spit takes” lately — I think from watching too many kid-geared sitcoms while my husband and I ignore her in favorite of home updates and packing. She wanted to know if they are real, she wanted to practice one in the backyard, etc. Well. When I read your spotted dick comment I nearly did a real-life spit take onto my computer screen.
1. It is so hard to talk about one’s mother-in-law, and yet you do so with such kindness. I’m glad that things are going okay so far, and I will hope that your relationship grows and flourishes while also remaining a little anxious on your behalf.
2. I am so excited for your son — what a wonderful time in his life! But oh, my heart aches for you. It will be fine, you will adjust, he is near — but I can vividly imagine all the FEELINGS that you must be having. Why do we have children just so they can LEAVE US? Hopefully he is close enough that he will come home to do laundry and grab cookies and you will see him enough to stave off the worst of the sads. And maybe it will be a chance to get to know your younger son in a new way.
3. A WOMAN WAS POISONING THE DOG WATER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
4. Rex and his twinsie are very cute.
5. I haven’t read Prep, but I think it’s so interesting you grew up wanting to go away to boarding school! Maybe it’s the dark, thriller-y kind of books I gravitate toward, but I always got the feeling that boarding schools were brutal places LOL.
6. I think your bookmarks will not be in the remaining boxes. My guess is they have already been unpacked, but they were misidentified/misfiled as old photos or, like, got stuffed in a box of Thanksgiving decorations or something. But I am holding out hope they turn up!
Longest comment ever. Sorry!!!
Oh, thank you so much for this Suzanne. You’re right, it’s HARD to talk about MILs, and I will rarely do it, but I felt like…it’s kind of an important point in this move? And I appreciate your good thoughts and mild anxiousness 🙂
It’s so exciting for my son and he will be close enough for regular visits, which is really special.
A WOMAN POISONED THE DOG WATER WTF
If I read more mysteries and thrillers, I might have felt differently about boarding school!
I really really really hope you’re right about the bookmarks!
I love that Rex has found another dog nearly as handsome as he is! Yay for doggie friends (long lost cousins?).
What a season of big transitions for you – the move, university, and all the little changes (like store layouts) that come with it. And you’re doing it with so much grace and joy!
Hope these next few weeks are so special with the boys home, the beautiful weather, and exploring your new area. Still crossing all my fingers you find those bookmarks 🙂
So many transitions, Elisabeth! It’s like my analogy of a Brazilian bikini wax – but all in one big strip!
Isn’t that Rex lookalike adorable? They were the same size and everything!
I am do happy for you – living in a gorgeous place like that, overlooking a vineyard and a lake! Just wow! It sounds like you are off to a great start with your mother in law. She must be just so thrilled to have her son and family so close by. I know I would be, and I would never “impose”. It’s really worse to put expectations in place up front. So much easier than dealing with a possible problem later on.
That pic of Rex and his doppelgänger is so cute!
Thanks Pat! I felt the same way, although it was pretty uncomfortable for me to have a conversation like that, I also knew I couldn’t really live the way I wanted to if I didn’t!
Bookmarks as a housewarming gift. Sammi is wonderful. I’m still hopeful that the bookmarks will turn up.
I’m having fun learning about Canada through you. So you essentially switched from our idea of the Midwest to our idea of New Mexico. I’m thinking in terms of weather. If that is the case, it will be a big change. But it’s a good big change.
There have been many changes in your life, but it appears that you are riding them as best you can, similar to my analogy of floating down the river of life in my kayak. Although your kayak is a much more sporty version. 😘❤️
It’s a big change but a good change, for sure! There are real seasons here, instead of seven months of winter, a couple weeks each of spring and fall, and then everything in between! Lol. I like the kayak of life idea!
Oh, Nicole, that is a lovely change! Good for you!
Rex’s twin is staggering. I thought I was looking at a pic of Rex. . . . and then I scrolled down as I read the doppelganger and my mouth fell open. So funny.
OMG- so disturbing about the psycho lady poisoning the water. What the fuck is wrong with people? *I intended to work that word without an * into my last comment, and then I forgot. I feel better now and this nut job made it so easy to incorporate.
So many changes happening for you and your son is about to head to college- well, it IS exciting for sure and it is also an adjustment.
I envy you your delightful MIL and I did chuckle at the conversation that was necessary but hard given growing up in the 90s. Very relatable. VERY.
Boarding school often peeked my interest growing up. This book sounds like a good read.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE INDEED! I get that some people don’t like dogs…but killing them? I mean, it’s absolutely horrible.
When Rex came into the dog park that day, the owner of the lookalike and I did a complete double take, like, what just happened here? So funny.
The pictures of Rex and his twin are so cool, especially since both of them are smiling so big in those pictures!!
You’re acclimatizing so well, Nicole. it’s impressive how at home you already are–I believe your first dinner party is a major milestone.
I remember being so intrigued by Prep–I still remember the detail about that one scholarship girl and her comment about The Cosby Show…
YES! That scene stood out to me too.
Thanks so much, Maya, I love entertaining and so it felt great!
I am so happy you are settling in. I remember when we moved here, the stores were SO different!
I can attest that when they go off to college/university it is SO HARD and SAD; but also fills your heart with pride at the person they have become and you are excited to see the person they are becoming. It’s a hard process…particularly for mothers, I think. But think of it as a transitional phase for when they really move out on their own. All that to say, sending you hugs and love because I understand.
The bookmarks are there somewhere, I just know it. Still willing to send bookmarks to tide you over though. xo
Thanks Gigi, I knew you would understand! xoxo It’s exactly how I feel, proud and also, wow, that went fast.
On another note, today I’m braving Costco again and WHERE ARE THE CROUTONS? It will be an adventure.
Wow on Rex’s twin! I’m cracking up, “culinary or otherwise” 🤣🤣🤣 Too funny! So, the store’s actual name is Superstore? Did you ever watch theTV show of the same name? I thought it was a humorous show.
I just finished the book Prom Mom by Laura Lippman and I highly recommend it.
It’s been 10 years since my son left for college for the first time and I still miss having him here all the time. Big hugs!
Well, the full name is Real Canadian Superstore, but no one ever calls it that. I didn’t watch that show but I heard it was funny!
Thanks Bijoux, I’m glad to know people who have been through it and understand!
Gah, all this university talk!! I just posted on Jenny’s blog about how my oldest is starting his 1st year of high school on Monday and I fear it’s all going to be this big, sudden slide now to the end. Like I feel like I’m ALMOST to the top of a hill on a roller coaster and as soon as school starts, it will be like, Wheeeeeeee all the way down and he will be graduating in the blink of an eye. SOB. I guess I will just do my best to soak up the time we have left! Childhood/ parenthood is such a weird thing…. like it’s so stressful and overwhelming in so many ways and drives you nuts, but then at the same time, how does it all go so fast? Like is life ACTUALLY speeding up? It really feels like it… I SWEAR it was just Christmas, but nope, it’s August 8th. wtf?! Part of me wonders if it’s related to all the increased tech use, like are we literally just missing big chunks of our lives since we’re looking at random screens all the time?? Do all those hours just get wiped out?? lol… Or maybe it’s just always been this way. Anyway! I’m glad you are settling in and I hope your son has a fabulous first year. Hang in there! You are right to be SO proud of your great kids. A bittersweet time if there ever was one!
Kae, I know exactly what you mean. I have no idea how it’s the middle of August, I have no idea how it’s 2023, TIME, it just goes by. Starting high school is a really big thing, but it’s such an exciting and fun time – I hope he enjoys it!!!
It sounds like you are settling in very well. I love that Rex found a friend so quickly, and yes, driving 5 minutes does sound smarter with him along.
I hope you find your bookmarks, moving is such a pain!
Oh, your MIL is right there? That will definitely be an adjustment, but it sounds like you have a good one, and like you get along well. As she ages, it is going to be really convenient I think to be so close and see how she is doing.
Good luck with your son going away to university! Ack! My daughter went to school so close, she just lived with us. I do wish she had been able to have the full college experience of living there, but I am glad she doesn’t owe $40k, which is how much she saved by living at home. I know you will miss having him there with you, glad you are appreciating this time together!
J, I did what your daughter did and while I was glad to save the money, I really do wish I had the full experience.
Yes, she’s right there – it’s a bit of an adjustment but it’s not been bad at all!
So fun to read about all your transitions! You are weathering them beautifully.
My local Superstore and Costco are both backwards to almost every other Superstore and Costco, which means I feel disoriented everywhere else. 🤪
I really like Curtis Sittenfeld but I haven’t read Prep. I’m going to add it to the list!
It’s such a weird feeling, isn’t it? And what I have yet to get used to is that there are no Superstore Liquor stores here – but there is a wine section in the grocery! I mean, it’s convenient, but still strange.
You do have the best friends, because you are a great friend. Congrats on your son and his soon to be soft landing at University; I hope he has a great first year!
The woman at the dog park. I mean, for real. WTF?! Can we find her please and lock her sick self up?!
My jaw dropped seeing Two Rexes!! What are the chances?
I’m glad you are getting settled in and adjusting to your ‘neighbor’. 😜😜
Thanks Suz, it’s a bit of an adjustment but so far, so good! I haven’t seen Rex’s twin (whose name is WILLIE, I mean, how cute) since that first sighting, so it will be a treat if we see him again!
Rex has a twin! What an adorable sighting! I hope they become the best of friends.
Oh, the neighbor situation. What a way to handle that with grace. I hope things continue to improve!
Man, 2023 just threw you into the transition wringer, didn’t it? New home, new town to get used to, NEW WEATHER, new neighbors, and now your son is leaving for college? Ack! Here’s to more margaritas to deal with all the change. 😉
Thanks Stephany, cheers to you! Lol, damn, it’s too early for a margarita, maybe later this afternoon…
Hi from the air! I’m flying back from Calgary after a stunning trip to your former province! It was so very gorgeous. I told my blog friend all about you and that she absolutely needs to read your blog because she is very scared for the HS. I told her – ‘don’t worry. Nicole is very pro-teens! She will give you something to look forward to and not to fear!’ So I think you are the teen Sherpa of blogging. Ha.
I am glad you guys are settling in! Would you believe I’ve only been to Costco twice? We do not have a membership as there isn’t on conveniently located. My MIL LOVES Costco. My parents do too. We joke that we could play Costco bingo and check off the things they will each say – like how they rave about the rotisserie chickens and HOW MUCH BIGGER THEY ARE THAN GROCERY STORE ONES. It’s kind of an inside joke between Phil and I now.
Oof living that close to my MIL might be tough… I am glad it’s going well so far and you are thinking about setting boundaries early on!
I loved this comment, Lisa. First of all, so happy you had your fabulous trip. Second of all, yes! I am highly pro-teens and pro-Costco. My teen boys bring me so much joy, and I can only say that for another seven months, as that will be when my older son turns 20. But the teen years were so great for our family, even considering the pandemic.
I love that you’ve been to Costco in Maui – where in the world is Nicole? At Costco!
GOD, I’m so glad you had that conversation but OH GOD I am in fight or flight just imagining trying to have it.
Eve is in Montreal with friends for the weekend and we’re getting a preview of the fall being empty nesters again and it’s taking me much longer to get used to it than it’s theoretically supposed to. Oh well, I like my kids, they’re fun and funny, it would be worse to not miss them.
WTF on the lady at the dog park, but I like that you took care to specify that the man talking about her was Very Attractive.
It could be a movie, Allison. Where is Nicole? COSTCO. A boring movie, but a movie nonetheless.
IT WAS A HARD CONVERSATION TO HAVE, THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING ME!!!
My son has been living at home so far during his early college years, but is talking about getting an apartment closer to school in January when he (hopefully) begins the nursing program as his schedule is going to become very busy and the 45 minute commute twice a day will wear on him pretty quickly. So, I periodically find myself staring at him thinking how it was just a minute ago that I held his chubby little self in a sling. But, I’m also so happy for hm as things are going well for him. And, it helps that my girls will still be here!
Honestly, we had a plan a while back that would have resulted in living next door to my in-laws and I’m not sure it would have been a good thing. But, it sounds like your transitions are going fairly smoothly and I’m happy about that.
Have you found the grocery store with the perfect avocados yet?
Chrisoula, yes, I have found myself with the unsettling tendency to look at pictures of his younger self and think that it wasn’t so long ago…
I think all things considered my new living situation is a good thing, but nothing is perfect, for sure, and anyway, this is my life now so…I’m going to make the best of it!
I HAVE found a grocery store with very good avocados, I think, but I haven’t cut them open yet. There is a farmer’s market close by that has gorgeous avocados as well – I was going there for something else but now I’m thinking about their avocados! Will report back!
Please do report back, because avocados are important!!
I really admire your attitude towards life and think of it often, so thank you for all that you share.
Oh, thank you so much!
You definitely have a lot of settling in to do. I do not know if I could live next to my MIL, although we have a very good relationship (and I’d like to keep it that way – haha).
It sounds like a very lovely new home. I am glad you have a new trail to walk with Rex and he has made new friends. And I am glad you get to enjoy it for a little while longer with both your sons. Do they both have a room in the new house, or will your older son stay at the guest room from here on out?
They each have their own room because I am not sure where they will end up, and I always wanted them to have a space of their own here, or to visit if they have families.
That’s smart thinking 😉