Nothing motivates a person so much as having a firm deadline, am I right? The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of cleaning and decluttering, donating and packing, and squeezing in as many social visits as I possibly can. And speaking of motivation, nothing lights a fire with regards to actually scheduling social visits, as opposed to the old “we should get together sometime soon” like leaving the province. I feel very popular these days! A woman, who I had not seen since 2019, dropped by my house for a surprise visit, which is not my favourite, and said that even though we hadn’t seen each other in years, she’s sad that I’m leaving because she thought that I’d just always be here, in this house, anytime she wanted to see me. That made me feel less popular, and more boring and staid, although I guess I’m morphing into some unpredictable wild child, leaving the house I’ve been in for twenty-three years.
I think that old trope about friends coming into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime is very true. A couple of weeks ago we had friends over for dinner – our last dinner party in our house. These are friends that are more like family, friends for life; we regularly share meals and vacations, and we have that rare unicorn of a situation where the kids all get along AND the adults all get along. It seems with couple friends that this isn’t always the case, but all eight of us love each other and enjoy each other more and more with the passing years. I found a very special package of napkins that I had bought years ago and I thought why am I saving these, let’s use them!
There’s even a drink recipe on the back.
Our older kids share a birthday – they are only two hours apart in age – but their youngest just celebrated her 17th, so I decided to make her a cake in her favourite flavours, peanut butter and chocolate. This is a cake I had made before, and, as an aside, my son reminded me that I had a goal to make every single cake in this book and I have only made two, so I need to get moving on that. In any case, I had made it before, so I was very confident in the final product.
And at this point I will say I am not a person who gets stressed about having dinner guests. I am generally a very relaxed hostess who just wants everyone to have a full glass of whatever they want, and the rest falls into place. I think I inherited this trait from my mother, who wouldn’t blink at having twenty people over for a meal and who I remember hosting many enormous holiday meals in a completely calm manner, including, when my brothers each got married, hosting fifteen and twenty-eight houseguests, respectively. When I was a kid, I could invite any friend over for any meal with zero notice, and she’d just ask me to go grab some more potatoes. So I tend to be pretty calm and I figure the food will be fine, and people are here to visit anyway.
But I did want the cake to be nice for our girl, and I was sure it would be. I was humming around the kitchen, and thought the cake was chilled and set enough to have the springform pan’s sides removed. At this point in the movie of my life, ominous music would start playing. I cheerfully removed the ring and, friends, it was a disaster. Immediately the top ganache started breaking apart and the weight of it made the fluffy filling, for lack of a better word, explode in a slow-motion manner. At that moment my husband came inside from checking the barbeque and I could only scream “The cake! The cake!” in the manner of that guy from Fantasy Island when he saw the plane. He hurried over and together we jammed the springform sides back on as the peanut butter filling spread everywhere. I was in a low-level state of Cake Panic. I never really worry about what I am serving my guests, for better or for worse, but I did have an image in my mind for my favourite girl, for our last of many dinners and visits in our house. After we had jammed the sides of the springform back on, I put it in the freezer, and this was the end result:
The birthday girl, bless her heart, thought it looked Really Cool That Way, Nicole, and it was honestly really delicious. I think the freezing actually improved the whole cake, all around, and I am going to remember that for next time. Freeze BEFORE removing the sides.
Speaking of my mom, I visited my parents for a couple of days and the guys joined in for the Canada Day holiday. I was reminded of a conversation my friend Tara (HI TARA) and I had, lo these many years ago, about visiting our parents. At the time we both had very tiny babies and equally tiny toddlers, and life felt as chaotic as that sounds. I recall mentioning to Tara taking the boys over to visit my parents and marvelling at their house as an oasis of peace, tidiness, and calm. It was like this whole other world, that wasn’t awash in diapers and toys and tears, and my mother would be calmly putting together a balanced meal, whereas I would have one child in the Baby Bjorn and another at my feet, trying to figure out how to cobble together a half-decent meal before the baby needed feeding and the toddler needed bedtime. Tara nodded and said “It’s like finding out how the other half lives,” and I felt that, again, at this time in my life, deeply as I was at my parents’ house this weekend. There aren’t boxes and donation piles everywhere! There are no endless to-do lists and balancing eating everything in the freezer and cupboards with are we running out of coffee, omg. I mean, this is what my front hallway has looked like for a week and a half, waiting for a donation pickup:
And the basement seems to have exploded:
But I had a great time at my parents’, even though one evening we were under a tornado warning. My mom and I popped over to my friend Merry’s lovely little store, original home of Salvadore the Gnome. Merry’s Mercantile carries giftware and clothing as well as a ton of wonderful vintage items, and one of the first things I saw was this:
GRIMACE! Is it a sign? I did not buy him, nor did I buy the cookbook by the 80s TV star Wok With Yan, although I was very tempted.
I was also tempted to buy a bandanna for Rex that stated “I’m the reason we can’t have nice things,” but, as appropriate as that is, I did not because I figured he would probably, ironically enough, destroy it. Merry did mention she had one last garden gnome who needed a home, and the last time I heard that phrase I ended up with a 95 pound ball of love, so of course I took the gnome home, although he’s going to be in a box for a little while. There will be a time after this! At one point boxes will not be my life, and Gustaf the Gnome will be presiding over a garden patch.
Weekly Reading
Tuesday Nights In 1980. This was a really good book about the NYC art scene in 1980, which is something I do not know much about. It deals with an art critic who has a special ability to see the world in colours and flavours, a fledgling artist from Argentina who is about to hit the big time, and a woman from Idaho who is trying to life the artist life in the gritty city. It took some turns I really did not expect, and is a compelling story about, thematically enough, chosen and blood family.
Unraveling. I think Jamie (HI JAMIE) had recommended this book, and to be honest, the premise did not sound promising. Starting in 2020, the author decides to write about making a sweater from scratch, and I do mean from scratch. She learns how to shear a sheep and does so, then washes, cards, and spins the wool. She makes her own natural dyes and colours the yarn, finally knitting it into a sweater. Pandemic projects, am I right? But the point was to show how much labour goes into the making of a sweater, and it was honestly fascinating. The book takes many sidebars to show just how much traditional labour – generally women’s – went into the making of textiles and clothing. The most fascinating example was one I had heard before, which is that the most valuable item on a Viking ship was the sail. The amount of labour that went into one sail is estimated to be two women-years of work. In medieval times, women of all classes would spend the majority of their time spinning and weaving, and the word spinster meant a woman untethered by husband or children, who could spend extra time doing these very important and valuable jobs. Having a spinster in the house was not a burden but instead was valuable. The book also goes into the absolute environmental disaster that is our textile and clothing industry, and questions why we think so much about what we put into our bodies, but not at all about what we put ON them, from an ecological point of view. Once you know this, you really can’t un-know it, and I have been thinking a lot about the impact our consumer choices have on this world. It’s really shameful and we have to do better as a whole and as individuals. I’ll be thinking about this for a while. This was a really thoughtful, interesting, well-researched and well-written book.
Now that I’m back from “where the other half lives” I need to get back to reality. Back to boxes and everything else, and I hope you all have a much-less hectic and stressful week than the one I am facing. Be well, friends! xo
That cake looks great – the top has a visual interest! We call cake collapses “cake splooshes” and our most famous one was when my guy and I turned a cake auction for my mom’s church into a casual competition to see who could earn more $$ with their cake. Now, my guy is much more competitive and better at games than me, but he made some sort of critical error that caused his cake to slide off itself in the fridge (“sploosh”) and we ended up only bringing mine. A win by default, but a story forever!!
A sploosh!!! That’s awesome. And you won the contest, hooray!
Nicole, your packing seems to be going really well and you have a ton to look forward–including the mysterious Gustaf–in the time after this time!
Like the new 17-year-old, I think your cake looks really cool–it’s a crackle effect, and that’s how you meant it to look, right? (My dad’s tip when I was learning to cook: rename the dish instead of trying to make it fit the recipe!)
The Orenstein book sounds amazing, and very much on brand in its feminism (I loved her Cinderella Ate my Daughter and Don’t Call me Princess). Also the premise sounds a bit like that Kingsolver book where she only ate what she cultivated on her farm? IDK.
Ok, hope the packing and moving continues to go well and that you’re carving out some rest and relaxation in the midst of it all.
Oh, and Rex’s Canada Day picture is iconic! And Your mom sounds simply lovely, BTW!
Maya, you would love that book. I confess that since I have no interest in the fibre arts that I was a little hesitant to read it – but it was so good. I really think you’d love it. It was so fascinating!
I think the only way I could get my house truly decluttered at this point would be to sell it and be forced to move. So that’s the good thing about moving- everything else is so stressful! It’s hard living in a state of semi-chaos. But… it will all be over soon and you’ll be in your fabulous new house. i’m very excited for you.
So apparently McDonald’s is now celebrating Grimace’s birthday. On our drive down from Tallahassee, my daughter’s friend wanted to stop and get a “Grimace Birthday Meal,” so we did. I think it just consisted of nuggets and fries, but the highlight was a Grimace shake which was purple (I know- shudder.) Anyway, at one point the girls said “Who is Grimace, anyway?” Ha ha, I COULD have said “Oh, he’s a giant taste bud” but I refrained. I didn’t want to ruin the birthday meal experience.
Good luck with everything!!! Oh, and I love those napkins.
But what was the flavour of the milkshake? What is purple flavour? It couldn’t possibly have been grape, was it?
“I was in a low-level state of Cake Panic.” That has to be the best quote EVER, Nicole!! I think I’m always in a low-level state of Cake Panic! 🤣And your cake looks delicious!
I laughed so hard at seeing the Grimace figure!
And I’m happy you accepted the gnome – I look forward to seeing him in his new surroundings at some point.
PANIC AT THE CAKE DISCO!!! It turned out great but it was a little harrowing!
Yes, Grimace is having a resurgence and my girls are desperate to try the Grimace shake, which they hear can only be purchased in the US. I’m impressed with your willpower not to buy the Grimace! I can only tell you the boxes will go away and you will one day be settled and wonder how in the world you did it. But you did! Good luck with the packing!
I think you should drive down to Montana right this second and then report back on the milkshake! I wonder what flavour it is?
Ugh deadlines are how I stay sane – I know that they’re the date for when life will return to normal.
1. I wholeheartedly approve of using the red headed slut napkins. How many of us keep good stuff like that hidden away for “someday”?
2. You’re bringing back memories of the time I made a German chocolate cake for a dear friend’s birthday. A situation where I really cared about the outcome and where every step seemed to go wrong. In the end it all came out fine, apart from the very droopy ganache decoration.
Yes, I don’t want to die (many years in the future) and have awesome things still in their package. LIKE RED HEADED SLUT NAPKINS!
I love funny cocktail napkins. I try to pick them up to give to friends for birthdays. Yours cracked me up! I think that cake looks decadent and delicious. I had mentioned to my husband your Grimace tastebud fact and he said that Grimace threw the first pitch of the Guardians game he had been to the night before. Grimace is everywhere!
I read the ‘80’s book just because I’m an ‘80’s girl and the cover caught my eye.
GRIMACE IS ALL OF US! Who knew he was so popular!
What a gift to have a whole family friendship. I’m sure the cake was delicious, if a little deconstructed.
You’re in the home stretch now, it sounds like. Good luck!
It really was delicious and I think you’d love it!
“Thought that I just always be here” made me cry. Why do we think these things? Oh man.
I love that napkin. I feel like you need to frame it and put it in your new kitchen.
I love that last picture of Rex. 🖤
Isn’t it awesome? It cracks me up so much.
Rex was contemplating the flag, I think!
But how much cranberry juice, NAPKIN?! Don’t leave us hanging over here. Not much of a recipe, are you?!
(Do you remember the old skool blogger Amalah? Years ago (decades?) she had a post about how she’d given her mom some really nice lotion/makeup and her mom was saving it for a special occasion, but then the lotion/makeup expired and she never used it. I’m 100% sure I’m getting details wrong, but go with it. I remember reading this and deciding that I was going to make sure I used all the “nice” stuff because you only live once. Sometimes I treat myself to a facial on a regular old Tuesday night because TUESDAY SHOULD BE CELEBRATED. Should I admit how much a throw off post by a blogger from decades ago influences my daily life? Probably no. Will I? Yes. This tangent brought to you by the fact that I’m proud of you for using the napkins.)
So, what is this absolute BLASEPHEMY that Rex is anything but a perfect angel of a dog? Are you suggesting that he’s naughty? If so, I want Naughty Rex stories. (I’ll go first. Hannah the dog is not a dog who regularly chews on things she’s not supposed to, but she canNOT resist my cork yoga blocks. I left her alone with one once and let’s just say that I had to order a new set of blocks. Well, I was doing yoga yesterday and the doorbell rang, so I had to leave for FIVE SECONDS and I came back and she had chewed off a corner of another yoga block. Bless her canine heart. I love her. She’s occasionally naughty.
I don’t remember that blogger BUT I do think that is 100% right! Why save things for a special occasion, why not make every day the special occasion?
Sorry to disappoint you but Rex isn’t really naughty – he is unwittingly destructive due to his size. Like, his tail is hazardous. It’s also a great fan on hot days. And because of his giant bladder, the sheer amount of pee has killed off patches of grass in our backyard. So, he IS an angel, but also a very large and unwieldy one.
I am so envious of your and your mother’s approach to dinner guests! So envious! I am glad that the cake turned out to be delicious. Freezing it was a genius idea.
Yay for a new gnome!!!! That is very exciting. And I love that you’ve been making the rounds of friends and acquaintances — as well as getting in some relaxed lake time — amid all the packing.
Love the napkins and the drink recipe. So cute and cheeky!
I’m staring down the crawl space today, Suzanne, and kind of wishing I had a red headed slut to ease the process!
HI NICOLE, glad to hear you enjoyed the book!
The Orenstein book sounds really interesting – I’ve been thinking a lot about “fast fashion” since I had to go back to the office FT in October. At first I thought maybe I should buy some new office wear, but then I realized I hadn’t worn office clothing in 2.5 years – shopping in my closet would be fine. I’m trying hard to buy less clothing not only because my closet is small but also because I really don’t need it, it’s hard on the people who make it, and hard on the earth. I didn’t really used to think about it much, but as you said, once you know it, you can’t unknow it so all I can do is try to be better.
I am also envious of your and your mom’s savoir faire with entertaining! My mom was a tense entertainer – did it seldom and got worked up about it and although I’m better than she was, I only ever feel relaxed about it when it’s family or very old friends. Sigh.
Also that cake looks amazing AND artistic!
Fast fashion is so environmentally destructive, and also destructive on a human level, and I’m trying so hard not to mindlessly shop. It’s a struggle for sure! I am really going to try to just shop my closet for a while. (we’ll see how it goes)
Oh goodness, I HATE moving. The disarray! The coming to terms with clutter! It’s exhausting. We used to move every 2 years for some reason, and it was a great way of dealing with clutter and getting rid of things. We’ve been in our current place for the last 25 years, and the idea of going through everything just terrifies me.
I would have been heartbroken by the cake situation too, but I’m with your friend, it does look cool!
OMG J, I just went through some boxes that haven’t moved from our storage space in 23 years, and SO MUCH JUNK. Everything is getting thrown out or recycled. I keep thinking – why did we ever think we should keep this?
Nicole I think you are doing amazing with such a big move looming. Just keep repeating “this won’t last forever”. I also make sure I use “the good stuff”. I do not get buying something and saving it for….what? I made an elaborate cheesecake a few months ago and when I took it out of the oven my springform pan broke! Somehow I managed to hold it together and get it on a board, but it sure wasn’t pretty. By the way that cake looks delicious and very cool and I want some.
The springform BROKE! Yikes! That would be a mess for sure – a delicious mess, though.
My friend two doors down (with three children between the ages of 5 and 15 – this family is also our chosen “family” and to have friends like that is SUCH a blessing) always marvels at how quiet and un-chaotic my house seems when she comes over without her brood. It’s not but it seems that way to her because it’s just the two of us. I told her to revel in the chaos because once that’s gone she will miss it.
I have an amazing chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting recipe – sadly, my son doesn’t care for peanut butter and The Finance is allergic to nuts – so I’ve only had occasion to make it once. Maybe that will be my birthday cake this year – and I’ll make something else for them…something to ponder. Your cake looks AMAZING.
I love your saucy napkins! And for not saving them for a “special occasion.” I try to do the same but have to remind myself constantly.
You’ve got the finish line in sight, Nicole! It’s too bad we are all scattered or I would be over there helping you organize, pack and un-pack. But since I can’t, know that I am here cheering you on.
Why wait for your birthday? Why not make it right now! I’m a big fan of cake for no real occasion!
I appreciate you cheering me on! I feel like I need it today!
If you had only shown the pic of the cake without the backstory, I would have thought this is what the cake supposed to look like (like a big deep-dish cookie). I am sure it tasted amazing! 🙂
These last few weeks in a place are bitter-sweet. So lovely that you have a friends (with kids) where everyone gets along! That is rare and very special. Will they come visit you in your new home?
Yes, they will definitely visit! And we have a trip to Mexico with them planned for the winter.
I have done that with a spring form pan and a cheesecake– like, I just didn’t remember to cool it, and the whole thing fell apart. My secret when this happens (bad cake things always happen to me because I am doing too much at once and also skim directions) is to serve it in a trifle dish and maybe add a few layers of whipped cream in between the mess.
Oh, that’s a good solution! I’ll have to remember that if the occasion presents itself again!
I looked at the photos before reading and thought “what a delicious looking cake” – so, not a baking fail, just a different cake!
I love that you got another gnome. He’ll be the transition gnome between your old house and new house. I hope he gets along well with the rest of the garden gnome crew.
Just requested Unraveling. I do love all things yarn-y and fiber-y, so I’m looking forward to it.
Best of everything to you as you navigate the remaining few weeks of packing, etc. The other side is soon!!
Oh, Chrisoula, I think you’ll enjoy that book! I learned so much!
The cake WAS delicious, but it was a narrow escape!
That cake looks delicious – and an almost-disaster like that will make the evening more memorable! So it’s kind of fortuitous in a way? I am working on being the kind of host you are. My mom is amazing cook and very good at hosting large amounts of people but she does not stay calm… So after years of observing that, I’ve tried to be cooler and calmer and I am making progress on being a more chill host.
It will be so good to have this move behind you. It’s hard, for me, to be in the “in between times” where you don’t have a firm foot where you live or where you are going. That messy middle is the hardest for me!
It feels very chaotic and untethered right now!
I have been to gatherings where the hostess – sometimes family or in-law members – do NOT stay calm and I find it quite unpleasant to be around. I think generally dinner guests are there to hang with you, and the food isn’t the most important part.
Peanut butter and chocolate is one of my favourite combinations IN THE WORLD, so I would have devoured that cake. I think it looks fancy and delicious.
I wish I didn’t stress about company. My mother is wonderful – amazing; truly one of the most incredible people I know – but she stresses out in a major way with company and I think I inherited her bent on that. For the most part I hide my stress well, but it takes a lot out of me to host people.
Good luck with all the chaos and moving pieces. This time next month things will be so different – how exciting!
It is such a good flavour combination and I think you would have loved it! Even though the top was supposed to be smooth, it turned out really delicious.
I often think that I’d like to live somewhere where summers were less melty and where big water was closer, but our group of seventeen like your group of eight, where the grownups and kids have all known each other for twenty-plus years or since birth (conception, actually)? I don’t see how I could leave that.
Moving is SO chaotic and anxiety-making, and must be particularly so for someone like you who thrives on order and routine (ones that you actually stick to, unlike me). I can’t wait for it all to be over and for you to be happily settled in your new place.
Also, totally making that cake, don’t care how it looks.
I also cannot wait until it’s over! I’m in the home stretch now!
Oh the cake. I love the set up of the cake story with background music no less. I’m sure it was delish even if it looked a little unconventional. Glad the bday girl enjoyed it.
Moving is such a huge undertaking. I agree completely- hanging at my parents well-ordered, quiet, peaceful home is a welcome respite from the chaos of my day to day.
Who knew a book about shearing sheep could be so interesting. I often think about how nutty it is- the lengths we go to and the money spent to own our wardrobes.
It was delicious, Ernie, thank you!
I was honestly surprised how much I enjoyed that book!
I saw the picture of the cake before I realized it wasn’t the way it was supposed to look and thought it looked really interesting! Interesting in a good way! And it sounds delicious no matter what.
Moving is such a beast, but moving from a house you’ve lived in for 23 years and has witnessed the growth of two full humans into adulthood is a different kind of moving than I’m used to! I’m actually looking forward to my move in a few months but it’s a lot less stressful for me since I’m only moving from a one-bedroom apartment!
It is such a huge thing, but it’s getting done! And in a couple of weeks, the worst will be behind me!
You Red Headed Slut! I knew it! 😜😜 Love the napkins and I think the cake looks pretty cool too! Like a Beautiful, Tasty, Disaster.
I can’t imagine moving that far away from all the people you’ve known for 23 years. I suppose it gives you reason to come back to visit, or for them to visit you!!
Is your hair more red than usual? It looks so great!
GRIMACE. I think he’s reading your blog and stalking you now. SO funny.
As I was reading/looking at all your boxes, I was thinking: There Will Be A Time After This. And you are almost there…I’m so excited for your family.
Thanks Suz, I had just freshly coloured my hair, so I was extra-red and extra-slutty. Whoops! Did I say that part out loud?
GRIMACE IS FOLLOWING ME
Bit by bit… it gets done. Soon, you’ll be in your new (kind of old) home. And you can relax with your slutty drink and think, never again. (The best post-move delusion there is…)
And thanks for inspiring me to clean out my spice cabinet on a whim this morning. Where the record was a spice (I cannot remember which, at this point) that had expired in… 2010.
Yikes.
More gnomes, more cake, more hilarious cocktail napkins. Things every life needs. 🙂
I found a bag of coffee beans in my freezer which expired in 2013!