The other day I woke up with No Scrubs stuck in my head; this isn’t an entirely strange thing, as I do like that song, and hear it fairly often on one of my playlists. What was strange, though, was how tenacious it was. All through my morning yoga practice I kept hearing hanging off the passenger side of his best friend’s ride over and over. A scrub is a guy who can’t get no love from ME. Then I took a Peloton ride and the very last class was No Scrubs, and it started to feel surreal. After that there was no getting away from it; I wondered if this would be like the time I had the Lido Shuffle stuck in my head for days, and kept hearing it on the radio, and is this is how it starts, the descent into madness.
The next day I chose a Peloton ride that had a No Scrubs-free playlist, but it turns out that I am becoming unhinged anyway, as I got all choked up singing along to Miley Cyrus’ The Climb. There’s always going to be another mountain, I’m always going to want to make it move, it’s always going to be an uphill battle…at which point my singing voice started cracking and I started rapidly blinking back tears. To MILEY CYRUS.
Well, things have felt a little Uphill Battle-ish lately. Every morning I wake up with renewed positivity and optimism, and just as soon as I cross a few Stressful Things off my list, five more Stressful Things take their place. This past week a very unexpected, fairly serious health issue popped up in the Boyhouse, which is causing me considerable worry, as we are moving next month, and this needs to be taken care of prior to that. We are not just moving house, but moving provinces, and let me tell you that I absolutely love the Canadian universal health care system for the most part, but it can be hard to get things in a very timely manner, and inter-provincial health care is not ideal. Switching provincial care and finding new providers is going to be a Big Deal, but I’m trying to keep my head up and take things step by step.
This move is something that’s been in the works for a while, and although I have had some emotional ups and downs about it, I am definitely looking forward to being settled into my new home. In the interim, however, everything feels like chaos. I am not a person who Does Well With Change, in fact, I’m kind of the opposite, and everything is changing at once. EVERYTHING IS CHANGING ALL AT THE SAME TIME. It’s like ripping off a giant bandaid, or getting a Brazilian wax all in one strip. OUCH, but also, it isn’t dragging things out, I guess.
Anyway. Things will get done. In not too long, I will be on the other side of this. On the huge plus side, my son had his second dental surgery this week and it went really well. It went so well that I had a few moments of regret that the first went so badly, but we cannot change the past, people. He and I spent an afternoon watching Forrest Gump, and because I am currently an emotional wreck, I spent much of it blinking rapidly and swallowing hard. We both agreed that the best parts of the movie were the Vietnam scenes and the friendship between Forrest and Lieutenant Dan, and that the music, as the kids say, slaps.
One thing I am very much looking forward to in my new home is gardening. The growing season is solidly four months longer than it is in Calgary, and this winter is going to be all about planning and designing my new beds. The trick will be to keep Rex out of them, which takes some doing. Incredibly, after a winter of being sat on and walked on – Get out of the garden! I said countless times this winter, only to be answered with a look of innocence before slowly trampling the beds on his way out – my Siberian irises are in full, gorgeous bloom. On the other hand, Rex seemed to have killed my creeping Jenny in the hosta garden. Who knew one could kill creeping Jenny? I thought it would survive nuclear fallout, but apparently, it cannot survive a winter with Rex.
Weekly Reading
Foreverland: On The Divine Tedium of Marriage. It’s interesting how sometimes a book will come into your life at just the right time, and will resonate with you so strongly that you might look around, wondering if someone is actually inside your house. Or your head. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book of essays that is so honest, so candid, and yet so funny and self-deprecating as this. It’s divided into four sections that can be described as courtship and engagement, wedding and early parenthood, house, home, and parenting older kids, and, finally, bumps in the road, including dissatisfaction, illness, and the pandemic. I cannot even describe how much I related to so much of this book, even for things that happened long ago; it has been a very long time since I had a newborn, but her description of the feeling that the baby was an actual part of her body and when she was separated from the baby, it felt like she was literally missing an organ was so exactly what I too experienced. It is a rare book that makes a person feel completely seen and less alone, but this absolutely did. It’s really a beautiful, yet brutally honest, look at so many facets of marriage and life, and I loved it.
Funny You Should Ask. I read most of this in waiting rooms so I think I was a bit distracted and found this book a bit hard to get into. It’s a nice light romance about a journalist who interviews a movie star and then they meet again ten years later for another interview. The interview skyrocketed her to fame, it started a bunch of rumours, I don’t know, it was fine. I liked it just fine but didn’t love it. Apparently this book went viral on TikTok, so my meh reaction could be just me.
The Paper Palace. Wow, this was a really incredible book. On the surface, it’s about a woman who has just had a clandestine encounter with her oldest friend, and now she’s faced with the choice: leave her marriage and her much-loved husband and children, or stay and figure out how to deal with the fallout. One might think, as I did initially, if she loved her husband so much, why the affair? This book delves into the past fifty years, and how it affected a twenty-four hour period. It’s filled with secrets, and horror, and love; it shows the butterfly effect of single actions, and the connections between us. It is so well written and the descriptive writing is beautiful. I had no idea what was going to happen or how it was going to end, and it’s the kind of book that leaves you wondering and wanting more. I really loved it.
This week felt so long, but I am, Monday morning once again, filled with renewed positivity and optimism to tackle the ever-growing To Do list. Happily, my skin care routine is working and I look fantastic.
I hope you all have a beautiful, uncomplicated week. xo
Oh, Nicole–I hope this week is all Smiley-Miley with not a sign of an Achy-Breaky heart!! (Sorry for the Billy Ray Cyrus dump.)
I chuckled at “The Climb” following you around, because I swear that happens to me with that _Malcolm in the Middle_ song “The Middle” (Jimmy Eat World). Once I switched stations because of it from the alt station to the 90s station and there it was again!
Sending good vibes with the imminent move… so excited for a longer warmer season and your proximity to the lake. (Please forgive Rex–I can’t believe he did anything at all, he looks so innocent. And also he’s but a toddler.)
Paper Palace sounds so intriguing! Thanks for the rec!
Wishing you a beautiful, uncomplicated week! XOXO
Rex has been forgiven, but also, it’s so weird that the only plant he killed was the one I didn’t think could ever die. Never say never!
The first paragraph had me laughing because you are hilarious, but also I know EXACTLY how it is to have a song stuck on repeat in your head. My brain does that when I’m especially stressed or anxious or tired. It’s like it latches onto something innocuous to distract it from whatever else is going on, which SEEMS like a good coping strategy except that the end result is complete derangement.
The health issue sounds scary and stressful and I am hoping and praying it is addressed fully and swiftly before you leave. PHEW that the second dental appointment went so well. I am still super annoyed with your dentist for not realizing, in advance, that they were ill equipped to deal with this particular extraction.
Love the photos of Rex. He looks immensely proud of himself, hatching those irises! He did that, Nicole, don’t you know?!
Also, change is the worst — even when it is good, wanted change! — and I am holding you and your family in my heart as you endure this transition. xxoo
Thank you so much, my dear friend. You understand totally.
Also, I do not currently have an earworm which means the shoe will drop and I’ll probably get something weird and disturbing stuck in my head now.
Oh my Nicole you do have a lot going on. A persistent earworm of a song could just be the straw that breaks it as they say. You alluded to some ‘not great news’ in your response to a comment last week, and because of this weird para social relationship I’ve been worrying a little about you and your family. Best of luck in getting care very quickly. I know how you feel with the tears close to the surface. Continue to take care of yourself as we know you do. Those pictures of Rex! Man he is cute.
Thanks so much, Pat. It’s definitely worrisome but hopefully things will work out okay. Step by step, right?
Sending you so many good thoughts – that’s a lot to be happening at once! Every now and then, Miley gets in me in the feels, too, and it makes me question where I’m at (although, as I get older, it seems the more comfortable I get with being weepy).
Thanks Lindsay! I never thought at my age I’d be identifying with Miley in her Hannah Montana days, but here we are.
So. Many. Things. Happening.
As always I’m in awe of your optimism and general positivity toward life. But also, I can imagine it feels like a tsunami of hard things right now.
A wise woman once told me: There will be a time after this. I was repeating that to myself all morning as I’m currently dreading a life event and the only way through is through and so I will get through…and then there will be a time after this!
Wishing you a wonderful week. And you captured my thoughts on our Canadian health care system perfectly. I love and champion equal access for all, but it can have a lot of negative impacts on ready access to care. So I’m especially hoping that the medical issue is able to be sorted quickly and fully <3
Aww, Elisabeth, THANK YOU. I have indeed been mantra-ing “there will be a time after this” a lot lately.
And yes on the health care system. I just have fingers crossed we can get things done. There is a huge shortage of physicians in BC and that is…not great, Bob.
Oh, I hope the health issue resolves. It sounds scary and stressful.
And I can’t believe you’re leaving Calgary. It’s such a part of your identity, or so it seems to me. Good luck with the move!
Steph, totally! TOTALLY! I am such a Calgary Girl, so I guess I will now be a Former Calgary Girl!
First of all, Rex can come to my house and trample my creeping Jenny anytime.
Change is hard! This move is obviously a good thing (or you wouldn’t be doing it) but moving is VERY stressful. It’s a terrible time to be coping with a health issue as well. i hope things resolve soon.
Foreverland and The Paper Palace both sound really good. I’m especially intrigued by The Paper Palace- I’ll add it to my enormous TBR.
I hope you have a good week!
Thanks so much, Jenny. I hope they resolve soon too.
I am sorry to hear about the health issue. There is never a good time for something like that to come up. I hope it’s easy to resolve with no further complications. You’ve had a lot of change in recent years with both boys graduating. It was ‘the end of an era’ school wise and now you are saying goodbye to a house and a community where you’ve formed a lot of wonderful memories. That’s a lot of transition and change so I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do.
That Foreverland book sounds amazing – I’m definitely going to read it! I loved Paper Palace, too. I especially loved the relationship between the MIL and the cheated upon husband.
This may make you laugh or smile, hopefully. Will was a butt scooter when he was a young toddler. But he would kind of use his hands to scoot so Phil called him Lieutenant Dan! Lol. I should find a video to text to you!
YES, Lisa, I loved that relationship in The Paper Palace too. It made me smile so much.
Thanks for understanding how crazy this change is!
Nicole, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I understand your resistance to change. I, too, am resistant to change, so I feel this with my entire being. I’m also sorry about the health issue. It must feel a little out of control right now, and I understand how scary that is. I’m sending you a hug. And there is always good music. 😘❤️
Side note- our neighbor became the Lieutenant of our local fire department AND his name is Dan! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?? 😊
YOUR VERY OWN LIEUTENANT DAN!!!!
I’m trying VERY HARD to move along with the changing ocean tides and handling the seasons of my life but ALL AT ONCE is a lot.
All at once IS a lot. 😘❤️
Those ear worms can drive me mad. Mine has been ‘Good as Gold’ for a week now. If you’re like, what? It’s a Bravo thing.
Health issues AND moving sounds stressful to the max. I hope all goes well with both. We moved 11 years ago and still say it was our best decision, ever. And planning out your new garden sounds fun.
Thanks Bijoux!
This was at least better than the time I had Ride On Time stuck in my head, because I only knew two lines! Actually, I’m not sure there are more than two lines in that song.
Ugh moving. It’s on the list of major life stressors for a reason. Like you say, it will all get done, but it’s A LOT especially with health stuff on top. At least you get a longer gardening season and hopefully less severe winters for the trouble. I can’t wait to hear where you’re going.
Lots to come! Buckle up! But yes, ugh, moving. I just…why do we have so much stuff?
I was on a solo road trip this weekend and I was listening to select episodes of The Ringer podcast 60s Songs that Explain the 90s (I think it is a hilarious and fun podcast, but only if you know the song and/or the artist that sang the song because if you don’t have some background, it is too in the weeds) and on my drive on Friday I listened to the “No Scrubs” episode (https://open.spotify.com/episode/3lx6TX2w327nCNI73ZuP4V) and I had that hangin’ out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride/tryin’ to holler at me ALL WEEKEND! We are earworm TWINS!
Rex can come and ruin every plant in our yard. I would welcome this, honestly.
On a more serious note, I am so sorry that you’re dealing with health issues when you’re trying to move. It’s very hard no matter where you are and I hope you are able to get some good recommendations from people who currently live where you’re moving to and get some things set up before you get there. Good luck!
NO SCRUBS TWINSIES! That pod does sound good, I do have quite a bit of 60s song knowledge.
It’s so funny, the only thing Rex has wrecked (Rex-ed) was the one plant I thought could never die!
Thank you for the book recommendations! I am sorry to hear there is a health issue, I am sure although the move is tedious it will be worth it in the long run. Could you share/link up a post on your skin care routine? I am doing a Drunk Elephant system but underwhelmed. Not really seeing the results…
And I am ALL FOR crying to a song(s). Feels so good.
Hi Daria, here is part of my skin care: https://girlinaboyhouse.com/2023/02/nicoles-favourite-things-the-love-the-skin-youre-in-edition/
Here is more: https://girlinaboyhouse.com/2022/05/nicoles-favourite-things-the-daily-glow-up-edition/
I probably have more posts about this, but it’s a start!
Oh, Nicole, it’s just too much! Way too much. I don’t even know what to say, how to find the right comforting words. But I sure hope that things will get better soon. Sending you a big virtual hug and all my best wishes.
My earworm has been “Oops I did it again” lately. Aaarg!
Thanks so much Michelle, and also? I love that song but it is a Very Bad Earworm!!!
You have two of the most stressful type of life events going on now – it’s a lot! My hope is that when it’s all done, it’s like childbirth and you’re like, “oh, that wasn’t too bad!” (LOL who actually says that about childbirth, it’s terrible.) Having a longer gardening season sounds FABULOUS though!
Oh, I hope so too, Sarah! I keep thinking, two months from now I will be all cozy and settled in – I hope to be, anyway!
Oh my goodness! I thought moving down the street was a lot but moving provinces is a LOT! I think just moving in general is more than anyone thinks and for some reason everything does happen at once. Last year when we were moving we also sold our park model trailer and had to pack that virtually the same time as we moved the house. I think I’m still tired but happy it all got done at the same time!! You will be missed in YYC!
Why DOES everything happen at once? It’s a life mystery! I’ll miss a lot of things about YYC for sure, but stop in for a glass of wine if you’re ever in YLW!
Oh fun!! 🍷
My favorite part was the entire two first paragraphs. And you have ALL MY EMPATHY about moving, with all the big changes and stressful things and AAAAGGGGHHHHH
I know you have gone through a move fairly recently – I know people who move often and I wonder how they do it. They are made of stronger stuff than me, I think.
First, I am sorry about the health issue — based on things said last week, I’m making assumptions (which I probably shouldn’t) and am deeply deeply hoping that all is (or will soon enough) be OK.
Second, I don’t know if you ever intend to share more about the reasons behind your move, but I am both intrigued and in awe of your boldness. This is a big change and, I don’t know if I could do it. One time we were talking about relocating and I said to my husband “but, we have a mechanic and tire guy here and I don’t want to recreate all of that.” I am also not a person who does well with change, as you can see.
Third, the longer growing season will be so lovely! I saw that you mentioned in a response to a comment (yes, I read them all, as I find this group of people so sweet), that you are headed to BC. I once had a really good opportunity to take a quick visit to Victoria, but I didn’t go and I regret it to this day.
Lastly, thanks, as always, for the book reviews. Already added two of them to my ever-growing list of books that should really be named “books I will likely never get to.” Oh well, the list makes me happy anyway!
Thanks Chrisoula, you are probably making correct assumptions! And I really appreciate your thoughts and concerns.
I will for sure share more about the move in the coming weeks, including reasons, but I will tell you that the thought of trying to find a new hair stylist, place to get amazing avocados, nail salon, etc., is absolutely overwhelming. Not to mention big things like a DOCTOR. So I totally understand that.
Yes, we are going to BC! Not to the Island, but to the Okanagan. It’s really beautiful; it’s fruit and wine country, and it has actual seasons (more than, say, super long winter and short everything else).
I just googled the Okanagan area and, oh my, it is gorgeous! So many lakes! You’ll be able to know the grapes that your wine comes from! Seriously, though, it looks lovely.
In a confluence of your two song issues currently Flowers by Miley Cyrus is my absolute nemesis. I love that song but MY GOD it gets stuck in my head for days. I heard it in the store the other day and actually said “oh no” out loud when it started because I knew it would be stuck in my head. I wake up at 3 am to go pee and my brain decides to fire it up. I take a break from work for a moment and there it is. ACK! It’s relentless. I will pay good money if someone invents something that will stop an ear worm.
On a more serious note – moving is so stressful! There must be people out there who like change but neither I nor anyone I live with is one of them so moving makes us all crazy. Plus health issues on top of it don’t help. Am taking deep breaths for you and thinking about you!
OMG Maggie, getting up to pee and then having the song come back – this happens all the time and is terrible. Once this happened with that disco song “More More More” and I honestly don’t know any other words so it was more more more all night.
Oh Nicole! Sending you lots of love – that is a lot of stressors to be dealing with all at once.
I’m praying that the health issue will be dealt with quickly and satisfactorily. I will be thinking of you all.
Are you going to take some iris bulbs with you when you move? At least then you will have a reminder of “home.”
xo
Thanks Gigi. Unfortunately the timing is wrong to dig up or replant – July is pretty hot there – so I’ll be leaving my plants for the new family to enjoy.
You can still take them! Just keep them in a cool, dark place until it’s time to plant in the fall. I gave my friend some bulbs that sat in her garage for two years before she got around to planting them and they were fine.
I’m so happy that the second Dental appointment went well, but the Health Scare has me nervous. Sending all the best energy your way.
Forrest Gump is such a good movie and the soundtrack is still one of my favorites.
Moving is stressful. Moving that far away, even more so. I’m happy and excited for you, but I can also see how this is such an emotional time. Damn that Miley. XO
I’m sorry about how your life has been “Uphill Battle-ish lately.” Oddly enough lately I relate to that and also arise each day filled with “renewed positivity and optimism” only to see that slip away through the course of the day, but my woes are small compared to yours. I understand that with moving house and with health scares, you are constantly on the hamster wheel of life. Hang in there. Sending good vibes your way.
The hamster wheel of life describes it perfectly, Ally! Thanks for the good vibes.
I am running behind in everything. I have a good excuse, but eek – I am trying to catch up. First off, I’m sorry to hear that a health issue has cropped up. I hope it is resolved quickly and without any long term concerns.
Secondly, I’m so excited for you that you will have a longer stretch of nice weather. Are you moving to the house that you just renovated? The one that you referred to as your retirement spot? I believe it is near water, but wait – am I wrong?
Oh, Rex. I’m guessing it is hard to stay mad at that mug for very long.
That book of essays sounds really great. Good luck with everything. And you are right, you will be on the other side of this soon.
Ernie, yes! That’s exactly where we are moving to! It is near a lake, but not on a lake.
I am beaming “There will be a time after this” at you HARD. I’m so excited for you to garden in your new place – no more snow in April May and June for my girl.
Eve went to this amazing drama camp in London Ontario (she lived with my sister for the two weeks) years ago and at the end of the year show the counsellors sang My Wish For You by Rascal Flatts and the counsellors and campers sang You and I by Ingrid Michaelson and I can’t listen to either of those songs without crying now. I also cry every single time Hamilton’s son dies in Hamilton.
I call them Brain Worms rather than Earworms now. Once I had Put Down the Duckie from the Sesame Street Soundtrack stuck in my head for months. I would be going about my business and realize that it was still just playing in my subconscious and oh god, I have to stop talking about it in case it starts again.
ALLISON SAME HERE! I always always always cry at that part in Hamilton, even when I’m just listening to the soundtrack. Eliza saying “Is he breathing? Alexander did you know?” KILLS ME EVERY TIME. And then the part about the piano playing. Ahhhh I am tearing up just thinking about it.
I can hardly BELIEVE that no more snow in Apr-June and maybe even October is a thing that can happen!
Change is my anxiety trigger, and change like you’re having – boys graduating and moving on, leaving your community, moving to a new city/house… that is SO MUCH to deal with all at once. And now this new medical issue on top of things? Girl. You are just going through it right now, aren’t you? I hope you’re giving yourself lots of grace as you go through this season and have some good coping options to help on the bad days. <3
Stephany, EVERYTHING IS CHANGING. Today I had a moment where I thought “should I change my hair” and NO. I don’t think I can manage one more thing!
I get ‘No Scrubs’ stuck in my head sometimes too. It reminds me of my ill-spent youth, when trashy guys would try to pick me up from their cars while I was walking down the street. WTH? Does that actually work sometimes? I cannot imagine.
I am not sure where I heard of ‘The Paper Palace’, likely here or some blog we both read, but I am listening to it right now, and so far really enjoying it. Since I’m listening and not reading a physical copy, I am not at all sure how far in I am, but I just started yesterday. They’re at the beach right now.
I wrote down ‘Foreverland’, sounds like a good read as I creep up on my 30th anniversary in a couple of weeks.
I too have wondered if that kind of pick-up actually works, and sadly, there is always someone with really low self-esteem so maybe it does. I mean, I hope it doesn’t but…well, I think this is a good reminder to raise self-esteem in girls and women!
I finished Paper Palace yesterday, and while I loved it, I did NOT love the ending! Team Peter!
It was a curious ending, but I liked thinking about it. I agree, Team Peter.
Oh man, when it rains, it pours. So much going on in your house on top of the big move. I do hope the health issue isn’t all too serious and will be addressed quickly before you move, so you can leave that worry behind you while you deal with everything else. No wonder you’ve been emotional this week. Sending hugs!
It does pour, doesn’t it! Thanks San.
Ug, I know I am behind here, but I hope that your doctors stuff all gets done before you move and it all goes smoothly. I hate going to the doctor, hate making appointments, just don’t like the process overall. However, your docs seem more personable than mine, so maybe the Canadian healthcare system is like restaurants without tipping: since they don’t care about the money as much, they have better customer service? All I can say is most of the docs here are like a $2 whore; it is wham, bam thank you ma’am and please give me my money now, see ya later!
If you are moving where I think you are moving, I am pretty sure that I went there and had some excellent wine so if you get stressed out in the near term, there is always that.
The Canadian health system has a lot of flaws – like our doctor shortage right now that makes it nearly impossible to get a family physician – but on the upside, we don’t have to pay for treatment, we don’t have to fight with insurance companies, we just get treatment and that’s the end of it.
I realized I’ve been mysterious about the move – we are moving to Kelowna, BC, in the Okanagan, and you are right, it’s wine country!
I did a Canadian road trip a few, er, um, maybe more that 15 years, ago…and we stopped at a few wineries in the area and had a great time. On the same road trip, I also had my first experience with the Canadian Rockies and I knew I would go back again. I have, and WILL AGAIN! I also really love BC and on this road trip we drove from Vancouver up the coast and then over to Banff and then back to Seattle through Kelowna and Kamloops and it really was a great trip.
Your road trip is honestly probably the most beautiful one you could ever go on IN MY HUMBLE CANADIAN OPINION. Banff and the surrounding area is the most beautiful place on earth, I think.
I honestly have no idea where things stand right now, Nicole, but I do know that you (finally :>) shared your move details this week, and I am so freaking happy for you. I hope that all goes as well as is humanly possible.
I also hope that the medical issue(s), whatever they are, are treatable, and that you are able to access the care you need, where you need it, when you need it. That shouldn’t seem like such a remote possibility in 2023, but, well, here we are.
And Rex. Oh, Rex. He doesn’t LOOK like a WMD, but there does seem to be evidence to the contrary in the form of your creeping Jenny. (And side note – who came UP with that name? Did they hate Jenny??)
Thinking of you in this season of rapid-fire, multifaceted change. Hang in there, my friend. <3
Thanks so much, Anne. It’s a lot of change all at once. It’s a brazilian bikini wax, but all in one strip!