After such a cold April, May suddenly – and briefly – burst into summer. We had gorgeous sunshine and summer-like temperatures all last week, which had the happy result of warming up the community centre, so my yoga classes were taught in a normal-temperature setting, rather than a frigid one. The yard is becoming greener by the minute; the Mayday and lilacs are leafing out before my very eyes, my perennials are starting to peek out of the warmer, sunny beds, and I have been in a state of joy all week. I was able to have the windows open in the early mornings, so I practiced yoga while watching the sky lighten and hearing the birds chirp, and it all felt very Mary Oliver. In fact, I pulled out my Devotions to read her thoughts on the shift of winter to spring before my practices. I recently came across a meme that was along the lines of the world being on fire, the news depressing, everything is terrible, and Mary Oliver says “But have you ever really thought about a LEAF?” That’s how I felt.
I have been working on really embracing every season, both literally and figuratively, but I am very much a Summer Girl, and although it didn’t last, this week of summer-feeling temperatures has really boosted me. That, and a couple of huge things happened that lifted a heavy weight off my shoulders, which I am not in a position to talk about yet on this blog; I definitely have a spring in my step.
The spring was decidedly missing in my step the other day when I jauntily donned my cute summer shoes sans socks for a walk with Rex. These shoes are several years old, and well worn-in, so I don’t know how or why it happened, but I developed a blister and then that blister broke open, exactly at the halfway mark of my walk. Why do things always happen when you are exactly the furthest possible distance from home? I had some tissues in my bag, and so I tried to wrap them around my heel to relieve the pain of walking, but bizarrely, the back of my foot started bleeding profusely. By the time I got home, the tissues were half-in, half-out of my shoe and were soaked with blood, I had blood all over my shoe, and I felt a little like Count Almasy in The English Patient. I have been WALKING. For three DAYS. Except instead of three days, it was three miles. One of my octogenarian neighbours drove by as I was coming down the street, and pulled over to chat. I hoped he couldn’t see my foot, which by that time looked like an old-timey depiction of a leper’s, with the trailing bloody tissue and my subsequent limp. I had a pedicure scheduled the very next day and I didn’t want to cancel, as it’s a small local business, but I will say it did sting quite a bit. A ripped-open heel doesn’t pair well with orange-peel exfoliation.
Speaking of blood, I had to get routine bloodwork done on the weekend. I made an appointment at the lab, stopped eating and drinking at 7pm on Friday – which was a little sad, since I wanted more wine; it was Friday, after all – and toodled over early Saturday morning, expecting that the past would predict the present and I would be home within twenty minutes.
I clued in that this might not be the case when I was greeted by a giant line snaking down the hallway. It turns out that the lab started taking walk-ins, which it hadn’t done throughout the pandemic, and I felt extremely grateful to have an appointment, as the wait for walk-ins was three to four hours at that point. Three to four hours! I was already feeling a little off, since by 7:30 am I have generally consumed several cups of coffee, and I was, of course, not allowed to do this for fasting bloodwork. I can’t imagine my state had I had to wait three to four more hours. Someone might have gotten stabbed.
I was called for my appointment only ten minutes late, which I thought was excellent, and then I sat in the little room for twenty-five minutes while the woman who was to take my blood kept tapping on the computer, as other white-coated people dodged in and out with panicked questions and she herself had many panicked questions. It turns out that the lab had been taken over by an American company, and their new system was put into place that very morning, their system that was set up for American insurance and not Canadian universal health care. Why this was the case I have no idea but the woman was almost in tears of frustration by the time she finished the extensive paperwork and actually took my blood, which took all of about ninety seconds. She tearfully told me they had only been open an hour and she already had seventy people in the queue, so I wished her luck in what was going to surely be a very stressful work day, grabbed my little urine sample container, and fled.
I don’t really wear masks much anymore, although I had to wear a medical one for the lab. Even my doctor and dentist do not require them now; this was the first time I had worn one, other than as a courtesy to the checkout people at the grocery store while in line, for a long time. I was happy to do it, of course, labs are gross petrie dishes at the best of times, but this was the first time in a long time I felt a little weird being in a crowd. Maybe it was all the incessant coughing. The WHO announced the end of the global health crisis this week, but I guess I haven’t personally felt in a crisis for almost a year.
Not everyone feels like I do, of course, which is to say that I felt very seriously about the pandemic in the thick of things, and now I feel like I am calmly moving through the world, not thinking or worrying about Covid in any real way. If, however, you are in a group situation and you say something along the lines of being past the pandemic, it is a guarantee that someone will chime in to say that we are NOT past the pandemic, that Covid is still with us, people are dying of Covid EVERY SINGLE DAY, and what about long Covid, there’s so much we don’t know, etcetera. All of those things are true, of course, other than the pandemic part, as of this week, but also? I am just going to live my life in the most mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy way possible, without that constant-fear feeling I developed from 2020-22.
Of course, there are people on the flip side too. We had a plumber in to fix our toilet – not Hot Tony, but one of his almost-equally-hot employees; what is with the hot plumbers in this company? – and as I was chatting with him pleasantly, he came out with “I respect everyone, and everyone has a right to their own opinion…” and at that point I knew. I knew what was coming. Anyone that starts a sentence declaring a right to their own opinion is going to have an opinion that I will disagree with, and that is what happened. “…but I really didn’t believe the whole Covid thing,” he stated. Whether he didn’t think the pandemic mitigation strategies were effective or beneficial, or if he didn’t believe the existence of Covid at all was unclear to me and I did not want to further this line of conversation. After all, the guy was fixing my toilet. I took that as my cue to mention that I had just made a pot of coffee and did he want any, and when I came back with said coffee, he said that he hadn’t been sick once in the past three years. I suppose that meant the latter, in terms of his belief. I did not comment on his sample size of one, but I was happy to have a fixed toilet.
Weekly Reading
Flight. OH.MY.GOD I LOVED THIS BOOK! Wow, wow. Incredible characters, relationships, and nuance. Incredible writing. This follows three adult children and their families as they navigate the first Christmas without their mother. It is so moving and beautiful. Wow. My fellow lovers of character-driven books will love this; anyone who has encountered family drama or sibling issues or difficulties with blending families and in-laws will really find this relatable on so many levels.
No Filter. You know I love a memoir, especially a celebrity memoir whose life is SO DIFFERENT from my own. Paulina Porizkova has had a fascinating life (so far!) From her childhood during which she was subject to an international custody battle between Sweden and Czechoslovakia (the Swedish hockey team threatened to not play the Czech one in 1972 because of this drama), to her living in Paris alone as a model at AGE FIFTEEN, to her relationship with a man 21 years her senior at age 19, to the dissolution of her marriage and being left with no money upon his death, this book is a ride. It’s comprised of essays, which I love. Wow, she has been through a lot. Although she speaks well of her ex-husband, he seemed toxic and controlling and apparently spent all her millions of modeling money, while making her feel like she’d didn’t contribute financially in any significant way. She talks about how she has changed from being mean, judgmental, and arrogant, and accepting her changing face and body. Years ago my friend Alice (HI ALICE) said that reruns must be hell for actresses, and I think that goes for former supermodels too. I really enjoyed this.
Enchantment. What happens when you’ve gone through a global pandemic, you have constant chatter of social media and news, and you just can’t concentrate enough to read books anymore? This author had that experience and so worked to awaken enchantment in her life through the natural world. This is a beautiful book about connecting with the world, although I didn’t love it like I thought I would, since I loved Wintering so very much. I do find that I am willing and able to read with interest other people’s experiences and feelings about the pandemic, which I wasn’t able to do a year ago.
This week is not going to be so gloriously summer-like, but it is shaping up to be a perfectly pleasant spring week, with nary a snowflake or freezing temperature in the forecast. It’s a wild and precious life we are leading, friends! I’m going to bandage up my feet and get out there and enjoy it. I hope you do too. xo
I had a blister experience recently very similar to yours – although with less blood – and it does seem to happen right in the middle of the walk doesn’t it?
The blood draw situation sounds awful but I am glad you were in and out fairly quickly.
And your description of summer and your subsequent joy is so contagious! Have a great week Nicole!
Why why WHY do these things happen exactly at the furthest from home spot??
Wow, you did have a lot of bloody issues this week! Your story of the blood draw is almost worse than the blister story- for the people working there. I can’t imagine how they got through that day. But I’m glad you got in and out relatively quickly and didn’t have to stab anyone.
I didn’t even know the WHO announced the end of the pandemic, but it’s about time! I feel pretty much like you do- I definitely believe in “the whole Covid thing” but haven’t worn a mask in a long time, and am just living my life in a normal way. PHEW.
I hope you have a great week, with (possibly?) some beautiful spring weather!
I cannot believe how stressful the blood draw thing was – and it was only 8:20 by the time I left! It would have just escalated from there.
I love that you have a *Spring* in your step (and I hope your foot has healed!), my friend!!
Thank you for sharing about your thoughts about pandemic precautions–I’m still masking in small rooms and on public transport, but found myself thinking “what if I didn’t” just last week. I value your perspective, so this really helps.
Hubs and I were talking about Paulina P *just* yesterday! I’d read an essay in which she talked about becoming invisible as an older woman–and I thought she came SO close to a feminist manifesto, but veered off at the last moment…
Yes, some of the essays didn’t end as strong as I thought they would BUT they were all very interesting and I really did like that book.
I feel so badly for the people at the lab! Imagine how stressful that day must have been. Ugh. It’s always hard when rolling out a new software and I can only imagine the pain of it in a healthcare setting when everything is so important and there are so many details.
It has only been in the last two or three weeks that I have stopped wearing masks everywhere I go. I still won’t eat in restaurants and am a little bit worried about when I’ll feel comfortable enough to do so (maybe 2024?), but I am also just living my life now. I haven’t really traveled much since 2020, though, so maybe that will be the next hurdle I need to overcome.
Honestly, I could not believe that they would roll out a whole new program ON THE BUSIEST DAY OF THE WEEK. It seemed like a nightmare and I can only hope they all made it through the day. I felt just awful for the woman and her coworkers. You could feel the stress!
Restaurants and travel are the two biggest hurdles, I think! At least for me. I had to take some small steps before I took those.
Team Summer for Life!
My caffeine status is that I only drink one cup per day (but it’s very strong and the size of the cup does vary) and if I wait too late in the morning to have it I get the mother of all headaches and feel pretty awful for the rest of the day. When do I ever wait late in the morning you may ask? When I have blood work done! Thankfully they said that I can have black coffee before so that’s what I do now. And of course if I haven’t had any coffee there’s a long wait to get the blood draw and if I’ve had coffee then it’s a very quick process.
Oh oh OHHHH I wonder if I could do that too! Could I have coffee before blood work??? I should investigate. I can easily do the fasting part but not the no-caffeine part.
I really liked Flight, too, but I know of plenty of people who DID NOT LIKE IT AT ALL. Because there is some drama within my family (which seems to be the case in most large families) I found it so very relatable. I think I said in my review that I feel the author is writing from personal experience or she did a ton of research to pull off the tone/drama/sibling alliances/etc. She nailed it. I abandoned Wintering actually… so many loved it but I was turned off early on when she tells a story about having to leave the park early because her husband wasn’t feeling well and how she kind of resented him for that and then it turns out he needs surgery of some sort – maybe to remove his appendix? I just couldn’t relate to feeling frustrated that we needed to leave the park because my husband isn’t feeling well… I must have read it at a time when I was not feeling a ton of empathy! There was something else that bugged me but now I can’t remember.
Spring has sprung here, too! One of the best parts about being a parent is that it has forced me to “stop and smell the roses” more than I ever did pre-kids. Pre-kids it would go from winter to everything budding and I was oblivious to the process because I wasn’t looking for it or going through life slow enough to notice the changes. Now I am pointing out the budding trees and the daffodils and tulips blooming and the flowering trees, etc.
I am glad the weight has been lifted off your shoulders! Phew! That is the best feeling. I think I know at least 1 thing lifted off your shoulders based on your recent blog comment! Work has been so very heavy lately… and it’s weighing on me outside of work, especially last week when regional banks sold off like crazy and it was disconnected from fundamental weakness. It honestly spooked me and made me wonder how this all turns out. Boy do I wish I could grab a cup of coffee/tea and talk to you about this because I know you’d understand what I’m going through even though you worked in a completely different area!
I thought the author really nailed the relationships too. Wow, did I ever think it was excellent. I know some people really like a moving plot, and I think it would not be a good fit for those people, but it was A PERFECT FIT FOR ME! I don’t remember that part of Wintering at all! Although I can see myself being resentful and so maybe I related to that, who knows.
I’m so sorry about your work, it must be so hard right now. I wish we could grab a coffee!
I hate blisters, so I understand. I just got my first pair of Birkenstocks for my birthday, and they gave me a blister on my toe, which doesn’t seem very Birkenstocky.
I dislike having blood drawn, but thankfully, my doctor’s office handles them, so there is no waiting. Actually, now that I think about it, even the blood centers here require appointments. It used to be a walk-in situation, but maybe they no longer do so due to the situation you described above?
Last month, I had Flight in my hand at my library and what did I do? I CHECKED THE GOODREADS REVIEWS AND RETURNED IT TO THE SHELF. Never again. NEVER AGAIN. This was before our discussion in the comments section, so I’m adding it back to my list because of your review. Your reviews are the only ones I will trust from now on.
GOODREADS!!! The worst!!! I really loved this book but I love a thick character book with lots of layers, and although it’s fairly plotless I found it absolutely engrossing. I loved it so much!
I read Enchantment recently as well – I think one issue is how they marketed it. From the subtitle, it seems like it should be self-help. I really wish it had just been presented as essays, because they were beautiful. I enjoyed her writing but was a tad disappointed because they were really just about her and she didn’t offer any advice. That’s not her fault though, it’s the publishing company! Sorry about the blister! I’m having to wear “work shoes” again and my feet forgot all the hot spots too.
Yes, Sarah! Yes! It was a beautiful book of essays BUT it wasn’t exactly helpful or relevant to me, at least I didn’t think so. Now that you say it, that’s exactly right – it was marketed as something different from what it was.
I’m glad you got some spring weather and I hope your foot is healing.
I’ve stopped wearing masks in stores when I’m going to be in and out and on public transportation rides of less than 15 minutes. Still wear one on longer rides and in Lyfts. Children’s, where we spend a lot of time, just stopped requiring them and it’s strange to see people walking around the hospital unmasked. I think my dentist’s waiting room is the only place I go that still requires them.
I totally get the longer public transportation/ Lyft rides – that’s such an enclosed space. I was surprised at a recent doctor’s visit that no one – not even the doctor or nurse – was wearing a mask. So that helped me kind of move on, I guess.
We did not have to wear masks at the pediatric cardiologist the other day, and it felt SO WEIRD. Your blister story is terrible, but I did laugh at your leper description. Poor Dorothy has blood inside her ballet shoes from a similar incident (in the middle of class, not a walk), and for her it’s kind of a badge of honor.
No masks in a medical setting does feel weird! Although my son just got back from a consult for LASIK and he needed a mask, so it’s kind of all over the place!
I just did bloodwork this morning! I always ask for the earliest possible appointment because I do not handle fasting well at all. And I will stop my internal griping about them running a quarter-hour late, based on your experience! Those poor people, what an awful day they have to have had.
I know, it was awful for them. I don’t mind the fasting as much as the no-coffee, which probably indicates I have a problem!
I’ve never been to a lab that didn’t take appointments. I’d have been surprised by the line, too. We’re no longer required to stop eating and drinking before lab work. Plus no one anywhere [medical included] expects us to wear a mask anymore. The pandemic precautions seem surreal to me now.
I always make an appointment so I was surprised at how many walk-ins there were! I guess it takes weeks to GET an appointment, which makes sense as I booked this back in March.
We had a dreary week of rain and clouds; I’m hoping for sunshine this week, as I’m a Summer Girl, too. Oooooh, that Flight book sounds right up my alley. I wrote it down!
Those damn American systems! LOL! Dealing with anything medical related has become a nightmare in the past 15 years or so. We have a broken system. I’m still forced to wear a mask when I go to any doctor, lab, etc. The only place not requiring it is my dentist and dermatologist which is ironic since they are the ones that get all up in my face. I’m with you on being over Covid. In the good old USA, people are getting shot left and right, but there are those worrying about a mask protecting us?? Sorry, I’ll step off my soapbox.
Hope your foot is healing.
Ohhhh Bijoux, the shootings. It’s every day! Every single day, it seems. My heart absolutely hurts for you. I’d feel more worried to go to the mall not because of Covid, but because of shootings. Take care, friend.
Your poor foot! I hope it heals quickly.
I still mask in a lot of situations and if I’m not masked, I have one at the ready, if necessary.
I wonder though what will happen if another variant pops up and starts surging or if another virus comes along and turns into another pandemic. Trust in the CDC is basically gone, I fear no one will listen and the fallout would be bad.
I always have a mask in my purse but I only occasionally feel the need to put one on.
I hope there will never be another pandemic in our lifetime, but if there is, I still have boxes of masks. I would hope that people will have learned lessons but probably not.
I am ALSO having blister issues with running shoes I’ve been wearing for a long time, WHYYYYY? I almost bled on my beautiful newish couch which would have been TERRIBLE.
Our regular bloodwork labs have been a complete clusterfuck with this terrible new system that is supposed to be more efficient but is not remotely. Then a new one opened with appointments (which you could not make at the old ones) and it has been glorious taking my parents there, but I’m just waiting for everyone else to discover it and trying to appreciate it for now.
I’ve been meaning to read that Paulina Porizkova memoire, and I will put Flight on my TBR. I keep saying reading celebrity memoires has convinced me that children shouldn’t be in modeling or show business, but maybe it’s more that no one at all should.
Blisters with old shoes seems like a crime.
The PP memoir is really good, I thought. Although I kept thinking “oh no, NOOOOO” throughout.
Blisters from old shoes that have never given blisters before? Same, sister. Same. The bottoms of my feet are sore from wearing REALLY comfortable sandals ALL DAY and barely sitting. Friction, I guess. My blisters were just in the early stages, so they didn’t bleed until I went for a run today.
Glad you had a blast of summer weather. Summer is my favorite season.
The book about difficult family relationships sounds very relatable. I, too, enjoy a good memoir.
What is HAPPENING with us and blisters?? So painful!
Blisters are a nightmare 😭, I hope your foot has healed a little bit at least.
Hope you also have a good week! <3
Thanks Alondra, it’s a bit better but still needs bandages!
As someone else said above, things in the US are just sad….so much gun violence. Malls, movie theaters all cause me worry. My kids are going to a VERY BIG concert soon, which also worries me, but the security is pretty tight, so that helps.
That being said, I will forever be interested in what mandatory masking did to us as a society. I will really never understand the resistance, the politicization, etc. At this point, we too mask on a case-by-case basis. Crowd, long face-to-face contact, comfort for the other person, etc. And, when we do, no big deal.
Glad your shoulders are lighter now. Hope all is well.
Oh, Chrisoula. May your kids be safe at that concert. I can completely understand your worry. Thank goodness for tight security.
I also mask on a case-by-case basis, based on my own comfort with a situation and also courtesy/ thoughtfulness to people who may really want or need people around them to be masked (immunocompromised, obviously, but also people who work a lot with the public). I never understood why it was such an issue either. It’s just a little piece of cloth on your face? It’s not like wearing full-body spanx or anything.
I just went and checked out Flight from the library and am looking forward to reading it! It sounds like something that I may like, but sometimes character driven novels are hard for me to love if I don’t relate to the character(s). I don’t know if that is fair or not, but that is sometimes just the way it goes. Actually I did not love the book Wild, although I know that many people did, because I really did not like the main character! Also I am a backpacker and she was kind of annoying in her cluelessness, although I guess that could have been why some people COULD relate!
I think I “overheard” what your thing lifted was on another one of your blog comments and so I hope this is congrats, but I am sure you will disclose all at some point! I know that what I think you are doing was a lot of work and time when I did it and I was so glad to have things buttoned up and signed, sealed and delivered.
I do know what you mean re: likeable characters. I am a big fan of character driven books BUT sometimes if there are no redeeming qualities to the characters it sours a bit for me. I did not read the book Wild for exactly the reason you mention – cluelessness and lack of planning is a thing that makes me CRAZY.
Ugh, blisters! I always get one (or more) whenever I go on vacation. And ugh, bloodwork. Why do they make us fast, and then make it so inconvenient to get blood drawn? But a huge YAY to having a spring in your step and some relief from winter weather!
The fasting thing is so unpleasant. I guess it’s for cholesterol testing? But ugh!
I do hope you get some nice warm temps. I’m sorry, but I giggled reading about your bloody heel; not fun, but you made it sound sillier than I’m sure it felt.
Nicole, we really need some photos of the hot plumbers, whether they’re believers or not.
I have often wondered if I could sneakily snap a photo of the plumbers…but I’m not a sneaky kind of gal. Maybe they’d like to selfie with me?
Ohhh, the bloody blister! That sounds awful. I have gotten so many blisters in my life and they always suck. I am impressed that you still went for your pedicure! That would have hurt.
I always schedule an appointment for blood work. I can’t imagine waiting HOURS, especially if you have to be fasting. I would not be my best self in that case.
Just this morning, I was looking at my large stack of cloth face masks and wondering if I still need to keep them around. I still have a few packs of KN-95 masks and I rarely wear masks these days soooo?
I always schedule too! I guess the appointments do book up so if you needed bloodwork immediately you might not be able to get a morning appointment…but ugh! I felt so sorry for those people!
I hate blisters. I am prone to getting them on the second toe. They usually don’t hurt (and I have already sized up my running shoes twice!), but they’re always blood blisters and it doesn’t look pretty.
So glad you had an appointment for blood work. I would have not wanted to stand in line for this.
I still mask up at the store or in settings with a lot of people Having just had another (thankfully very mild) Covid infection, I am still a bit wary. But I do feel things are returning to normal.
I’m so glad your Covid was so mild! Thank goodness.
Oh, man, the dreaded shoes-that-used-to-work giving you blisters phenomenon. I hear you, Suzanne. 😛
Also, I truly hate fasting blood work. At every opportunity, I plead for non-fasting. My primary is sick of me. Ha.
And, I still mask at the store, but (oddly) not at work? I think because we’d required vaccination early on and so I have a (perhaps misplaced) sense of safety among our faculty and students…? I say you do you. As always!
I mask on a case-by-case basis these days, but usually it’s because I want to be thoughtful to those around me rather than concern about getting sick. My brain just can’t handle any more worry!