I had a moment of birthday-related epiphany this past week. When I was pregnant, way back in the day, every single change in my body was noted and celebrated by me. Every pound of weight gained, every change in my skin and hair, everything made me so happy. I was lucky enough to never have morning sickness or any other nauseous unpleasantness; I did have aches and pains, and I was diagnosed with preeclampsia in my first pregnancy, but in all cases I took it in stride with joy. Oh, so I have to be on bedrest for weeks? Okay! Maybe I’ll watch some movies! These were my actual cheerful thoughts when I had the potentially deadly preeclampsia diagnosis, which just goes to show how thrilled I was to be pregnant.
I was thinking about my happiness with my changing body during that time of my life, and how a changing body doesn’t elicit that same level of happiness during other stages of life. It’s not fair, really. Why should our bodies not be celebrated in the same way, just because the boulder is rapidly rolling down the fecundity hill? Change is part of life, and just because those changes that come with age are not valued in the same way by our youth-obsessed, patriarchal society, it doesn’t mean they are not worthy of celebration. Why is a waistline expansion cheered when one is pregnant, but not when one is in perimenopause? Both are natural occurrences and both involve hormones and shifting times of life. If anything, perimenopause should be cheered even MORE. We’re here! We made it! Not every woman experiences pregnancy, and not every woman experiences perimenopause, but not experiencing the latter most often indicates that the woman did not live long enough to do so.
I turned 48 last week, and although I hope to live to see triple digits, there is a decent chance that the number of years I have ahead of me is fewer than the number of years I have behind me. I don’t want to dwell on the past but good god, I wasted a lot of time in so many ways. So much time worrying about really pointless, stupid things. I mean, life’s a journey, all our experiences shape us into the people we are today, etcetera, etcetera, but still. I can’t get that time back.
I’ve been triangulating toward this for a while, but I feel like I’ve gotten to a point where I wish to fully embrace – or at least, pleasantly accept – my changing body. I refuse to waste any more time thinking about it except to nourish it in every way; joyful movement, joyful food, joyful serums and beauty products. Fashion trends are absolutely not meant for my demographic, and so I will curate my outfits with my own personal style, without thoughts to what’s in style. Joyful Nicole Style! That style will not include wide-leg pants. I have been there, done that, and the young people can laugh at skinny jeans all they want, but they’ll pry them out of my cold, dead hands.
I feel great at 48; I, like Goose, feel like I’m lucky to be here, and I would like to share with you a few things that made my birthday month shine.
Nicole’s Favourite Things: The 48 Feels Great Edition
Spiritual Gangster’s Paradise
There is a little clothing boutique beside the Kihei Caffe (if you know, you know), and while we were standing in line for the best breakfast in Kihei, my husband saw a very cute tank top on display. You need this shirt! he said to me very seriously; one thing led to another, and now I have it in my possession. Did I need another workout shirt in the form of an early birthday gift? Probably not, but the material is so soft, it doesn’t look sweaty when it is sweaty, and it just makes me happy.
Great news, you do not have to travel to Maui to proclaim your spiritual gangsterness, (although, it’s not a bad incentive); you can buy a number of different styles online. They are a bit on the expensive side, but the material is quality and I think it’s going to last a long time.
Sugar, Black Honey Honey
I finally joined the Black Honey party, only a couple of decades late. Black Honey by Clinique is touted as a lip colour that flatters every skin tone, which seems like a tall order to me. It reminds me of the time Victoria’s Secret was giving out thongs as a gift with purchase, and when I told them my size, the woman assured me that she didn’t need to know it. These thongs were “one size fits all.” What. How is that possible?
And you might be thinking the same thing, how can one lipstick flatter ALL skin tones? Well, I don’t know. I cannot speak for every woman; I am no Whitney Houston. What I can say is that, by looking at the actual product, I did not think this would work for me, but it DOES. Does it flatter every skin tone? I don’t know, but it flatters mine. It’s a very natural-looking colour and I love it.
Mentioning the Unmentionable
Speaking of thongs, or panties in general, about once a year or so I go through my underwear drawer and throw out anything that is worn out, ripped, or in a state that is not even fit for “Ladies’ Holidays.” We all know that I like a good outfit, and I think that a good outfit starts with good underwear. This might be an Information Overload situation, but I always match my panties to my bra – which isn’t too hard since they are almost exclusively black, with a couple of so-called “nude” items for light coloured bottoms or dresses – and I like them to be pretty. Yes, they have to be comfortable and functional, but they must be pretty or I won’t wear them, not even to bed, not even to exercise, not even during my period.
I love the products from La Vie En Rose, which frequently have promotions for bulk buying panties. I just took advantage of one of those promotions, happy birthday to me, and I cannot even tell you how happy it makes me to know I have pretty new panties on. Life is too short for ill-fitting, ugly underwear.
Opening Pandora’s Box
Many years ago, when I got my first Pandora bracelet, a friend of mine excitedly said “This is so great, now your family will always know what to get you for your birthday!” This turned out to be a very prescient comment. I now have four Pandora bracelets, and I have never purchased a charm for myself. For my birthday my parents gave me this gorgeous heart charm, and if you have a magnifying glass you might be able to see the words “Love Forever” etched on the tiny heart in the middle.
Isn’t it lovely? These are my two “everyday” bracelets; every single charm means something special to me.
Nailed It
Before our Maui trip, I wondered what to do about my nails. I didn’t want to waste precious liquid carryon space for nail polish, but the polish I love simply doesn’t last that long. With winter and hand-washing and general dryness, polish tends to chip within a few days for me, at best. I decided to give Sally Hanson Gel a try; it goes on just like regular polish and as a bonus, it dries really quickly. But the biggest benefit is that it LASTS. For me it lasts at least a week, and sometimes up to ten days.
Outfit of the Month
Since the majority of this month has been spent cleaning and decluttering, my outfits have been pretty plain and simple: tees and sweaters with jeans. And rubber gloves.
However, I wanted to dress up a little on my birthday for my brunch out on the town, and also just because.
I have mentioned these pants many, many times. They are the City Sleek line from lululemon; they have a button and zipper and yet feel like soft pants, which is pretty much the most we can ask for from pants. The boots are Sorels; they are not winter Sorels as they are unlined, but they are waterproof, so perfect for spring. Or, “spring,” as we say in Calgary. The sweater is from lululemon, and I always think of it as new, but as I wore it for our holiday card photo in 2018, it is not. The tank top underneath is a basic Old Navy, and it is at least as old as the sweater. My friend Amy (HI AMY) made that mala years ago, and I love it.
It’s Taurus season, everybody! Thank you all for your very sweet birthday wishes, and if there is something that you loved this month, do let me know! xo
I also felt most positive about my body when I was pregnant and nursing, which was a long time because both kids nursed until they were about three. And while if I had a choice in the matter, I would not have diabetes, I have taken some pride in being able to keep it well controlled. Of course, I’m less than two years into that journey and it’s supposed to get harder as you get older.
You’ve done such a great job at controlling it, and may that continue for you!! Two years is really something!
Big fan of Black Honey. I was early to the party because i have a teen daughter who seems to think it’s her job to keep me on trend. I love the eyeshadow collection as well.
Oooh interesting! I don’t wear eyeshadow because I have never mastered the application…but maybe I should try again!
I, too, will wear skinny jeans even if the world frowns on them. I just heard a fashion expert interviewed on my morning news program who said something silly like OH, NO MORE SKINNY JEANS. NO, NO, NO! I say YES, and that’s all that matters.
I laughed at your choice to show your dresser vs your underwear. I love your new tank top, but I love it even more that your husband noticed it and suggested you buy it. So sweet. Really cute outfit. I wonder if they still sell those city slicker pants at Lulu. I must find me some. Also, I might venture from my same shade lipstick and get me some black honey.
I love my Sorel boots, but mine are lined. A pair for spring might be necessary. I dislike my Hunter rubbery boots. So uncomfortable. How can they be so popular? How can so many people be wrong?
See, exactly. No more skinny jeans is just fine for the youths, but here we are and we can and should wear whatever the hell we want to!
Hunter boots – so cute, so stylish, so brutal to actually walk in.
What a lovely post and reflections.
“Even I shall not show photos of my panties on the internet.” This made me laugh. I just commented somewhere yesterday about my underwear drawer (I don’t fold my underwear and nearly fell out of my chair when I saw the Marie Kondo recommends this; though, to be fair, I grew up in a household where every pair of undies WAS folded after it came out of the laundry – WHY?!)
Love the lip colour. The only lipstick I have owned in the last 15 years came from Clinique – for my wedding! That said I do buy lipstick, because I use that instead of cream blush. It works like a charm.
And thanks for the nail polish rec. All of my stash is empty or getting too old to use, and I shall add the gel to my list! I’m still loving and using the Falsies Lash Lift
Well, you fold underwear because it takes up a lot less room and you know exactly how many you have clean? I was unaware that folding underwear wasn’t universal? I nearly fell out of my chair reading that you DON’T fold your underwear, Elisabeth! You seem so organized!
I’ve never had a mani last longer than 36 hours, professional or amateur, in my entire life. My nails were chipped on my wedding day. *sigh* I have given up, but this gives me hope. Maybe I’ll try it?
This polish does last longer – I would NOT get professional gel on my fingernails though (I do get it on my toes). I feel like it’s too damaging for them. But this stuff comes off with regular polish remover and my nails look healthy!
I also fell off my chair…I can’t imagine NOT folding underwear…or socks for that matter.
I used to fold underwear and then realized that those are minutes I would never get back and so I got an organizer for my drawer and they just get throw into their slot! I must have saved at least 17 minutes by now!
This cracks me up! What will you do with the wild and precious 17 minutes? I have actually eyed drawer organizers…maybe this is the year!
Lipstick instead of cream blush! I’ve never thought of that. I do use powder blush but hmm…something to ponder!
As I talk to my daughter about periods (a hot topic for 4th graders, it seems), I’ve been intentionally talking about the other side of it that I’m in so that she has a better sense of how perimenopause and menopause work (and that it’s not the hard stop or hush hush topic that it was when I was brought into all of this in the 1980s). Bodies change for so many reasons and the fact that we get to change and have these days, months, and years is a gift – and not one everyone gets.
I have truly never tried on anything Lululemon but I’m always taken by their pants on other people. They look SO COMFORTABLE!!
I am a lululemon die-hard, I will admit – these pants are so comfy! They really work with my ever-changing body!
This post made me feel so joyful and encouraged. They’re words I needed to hear, and I’m going to keep this set aside for when I need a pep talk. Getting older really is something to celebrate, and it’s actually a nice feeling to let go of the pressures of youth!
Thank you for writing this wonderful post, Nicole!
Thanks so much, Michelle, that’s so kind!
My feeling about being almost 48 is that I WORKED HARD to get here. I just want to look the way that I look with a little polish like I tried. Based on family history I’m planning on triple digits, but it’s fair to assume that we’re at the halfway mark.
I’ve never tried Black Honey, but I’d definitely put money on a universally flattering lip color over one size fits all thongs.
Happy Birthday again and I love it when you and Rex match;-)
Yes, girl, I am right there with you!! I sure hope we are writing our “100th birthday” blogs together 🙂
One size. Fits ALL. Thongs. What.
I love that lipstick shade on you! Have you ever gone for darker shades or gone for a grunge look? I always love the contrast of a dark brown or wine lip!
Also, skinny jeans are amazing; some don’t know what they’re talking about, lol.
Thanks Alondra! I do wear darker colours when I am out of an evening – and when I was young, I wore dark colours all the time. I was a young woman in the 90s when brown lipstick was popular and my hair was very dark brown at the time – I thought it looked great and looking back, it DID look good! When I was in high school I was all about the red – I wore Revlon’s Love That Red every day!
I love everything about this. You have this special kind of positivity that feels so vivid and sincere, which I appreciate so much. It’s like, positivity that has been EARNED and I am explaining this poorly but I really soak it up and wish to find some way to channel it for myself. Like I can look in the mirror and plaster on a smile and say something cheery about my grey hair but I feel like when you talk about the benefits of being old enough to go through these changes, it feels real. I want to italicize the word real in that sentence. I don’t think I’m THERE yet, when it comes to accepting the aging process as the gift that it is, but your words make me want to be there.
I love your spiritual gangster shirt. Adorable. As are all your outfits, even the protective handwear. And Rex, next to you all dolled up for your birthday dinner — he is also adorable.
Thank you so much, Suzanne. This is such a lovely comment and I know exactly what it is you’re saying. I just feel like a switch has gone off and I always want to look my best, but my best has changed in many ways! If that makes sense?
Lololol the rubber gloves really add a certain je ne sais quoi to my outfit!
“Even I shall not show photos of my panties on the internet. Behold, my dresser.” HAHAHAHAHA! And a lovely dresser it is!
With you on the Sally Hansen Gel – that stuff is great. Although, these days my nails are unpolished for the most part (although since summer is coming, the toes ARE polished.) and kept fairly short. Hmmm, may need to give myself a manicure.
Like you, I reveled in my changing body when I was pregnant. I LOVED being pregnant and felt sorry for my friends who had a worse experience. I love your stance on our aging bodies – and I agree. And slowly, I’m coming around to it. We made it this far – and it’s our bodies that got us here – for that we should be appreciative.
I know, I have friends who spent their whole pregnancies throwing up, and how awful that must have been.
I’m so happy with the polish. I didn’t want something that was difficult to remove, but the fact that it stays on for so long before chipping is great!
48 looks great on you! I was one who hated being pregnant, but I also gained 50 pounds the first time around, which wasn’t good. I think the hardest part of older age for me is the lack of elasticity in the skin. I miss firm skin, everywhere!
Your last photo is adorable. That is a very young looking 48 year old. From one Taurus to another, you go, girl!
BIG TAURUS ENERGY! Which means it’s time for a snack! Well, it’s 4:30 in the morning, so coffee instead.
I hear you on the firm skin for sure. Things are definitely droopier in my world!
Thank you for your kind comment!
What a treat to see your smiling face in all these pictures, Nicole. You look fantastic in each and every one of them in your classic Nicole style. I remember your lotus necklace from a previous post and how wonderful that your friend made your mala. Do you use it for meditation? Love the way you’ve layered them. I was looking forward to seeing the underpants you picked out, but I guess I’ll just go look up those fab LuLu pants you suggest instead. Ha.
Has Rex grown up a bit more? He looks like a big kid now.
I don’t use the mala for meditation because I usually meditate right after my yoga practice, so I don’t have it with me. But I love wearing it throughout the day because it has a calming effect for me!
I think Rex may be entering his adolescence!
Ha, I LOVE that tank top!!!
I’ve also been thinking about body image lately- mainly because my daughter is grappling with it (of course she is, she’s 14!) I try to impart wisdom to her, but somehow it always goes wrong. I’ll try to explain that how my body LOOKS isn’t as important as what it can do, and she’ll say something like “Oh, so you don’t care how you look anymore. That explains it.” Sigh. Maybe it’s just an evolution she has to go through on her own- no one else can put that knowledge in her mind.
I want those Lululemon pants! I hope they have them in the store- I’m going to go try them on.
It’s so tough for young girls (although that comment cracked me up, hello 14 year old girl attitude!). It just feels like as women, this follows us our whole lives and it’s STUPID. Ugh!
I hope you find those pants, they are just the best.
I love your view on aging! I was just talking about botox with some colleagues at work and said I have no interest in it. I mean, you do you, but I feel like aging is a gift; why disguise that I’m aging?
The best part of pregnancy was that my stomach was firm. Ha. That is never the case for me outside of pregnancy! Overall, I didn’t love pregnancy but it’s hard to separate what was happening with my RA (it was HORRIBLE) from being pregnant. But I was happy to show off that big, firm bump.
I’m trying to be more kind to myself/more accepting of body changes. Part of that was letting go of a whole lot of clothes in my closet that won’t fit again unless I significantly changed the way I exercise/eat. And I just don’t have time for that right now. I am active and usually close my rings on my apple watch but I can’t get up at the crack of dawn to workout before work because I will run myself into the ground. And my eating is pretty decent but I want to enjoy a bowl of ice cream or a glass of wine. I’d have to eat really really really cleanly to look like my pre-kid self. And I’ve decided it’s just not worth it. So I do need to add some clothes to my closet. And maybe someday down the road when I am less tired, my weight/shape will be more similar to pre-kids Lisa, but that’s just not the case now AND THAT IS OK.
Oh and I’m team #foreverskinnyjeans. I love how I look in them and that is what matters more than what is in fashion.
Life is, if we are lucky, a nice long journey and so our bodies can be different at different stages! The clothing thing is huge for me; I love my clothes and have trouble letting go of things. Mostly my clothes are things I’ve had for a long time, but I have recently let go of jeans that just didn’t work for me anymore, and you know what, life is too short to wear uncomfortable jeans.
Happy birthday 🙂 I love this post. I love all of your posts- really, your blog is definitely one of my favorites. I know you don’t post as often as some, but I think this almost makes it more special… your posts are such a treat to read! I agree with Suzanne’s comment above- you have such a naturally likeable, positive, and fun-ness about you (at least via the screen! lol!). I love your attitude about aging. I think that is a tough area for so many of us… I have very hesitant feelings about wanting to embrace it! But there’s really no escaping it, besides dying an early death! HA. So, I guess I’ll take aging….
I need to check out those Lululemon pants! I just have 2 pair of leggings and a pair of Lulu joggers and I love them all.
For nails, I rarely do mine, but if I do, I have been buying Impress Press-on nails!! This sounds bizarre, but they are amazing, SO Easy to put on, don’t damage my nails at all AND I can cut them if I want to make them even shorter (I buy the Short ones anyway, so they are not long to start with). They come in great neutral colors and I feel like they are perfect. I’ve worn them for up to 10 days or so, though they last best for about 1 week. They do not chip AT ALL, like not even one bit. And the best part, a pack is only maybe $7-8 USD, and includes enough for more than one manicure. Not sure if you have them in Canada, but you could check those out as another option. I always use these before a vacation or event.
Oh Kae, what kind words! Thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you to say.
And you’re right, there’s no escaping aging. I just listened to a podcast with Jane Fonda who says she really regrets getting plastic surgery 20+ years ago because she wishes she had been more at peace with her aging face. We all go through this, I think! There’s no way out but…death, so…
Press-on nails! I haven’t tried those since the 80s, I assume they work a lot better now than the Lee ones did back then! I’ll look into that!
I love your birthday outfit! It looks so sleek and then you start talking about the pieces and essentially they are all comfortable, which is a win-win in my book! I am also a Taurus and am looking forward to my birthday soon. I was thinking about it the other day, like you said, and for me, if I live to the age of my grandmother, I am pretty much exactly at halfway, and so I still have a lot of living to do! I am happy with how I feel right now and I am just hoping that I can keep going physically for a long time; whether or not I have a pooch or wrinkles is immaterial in the grand scheme of things! I love this line: just because the boulder is rapidly rolling down the fecundity hill… haha! I am like Sisyphus; I will push it back up!
Happy early birthday to you, Kyria! We will keep on keeping on – and yes, the only thing I think about is physical limitations as we age, but you and I are both healthy, I think. My biggest worry is my varicose veins (long story, had them stripped, new ones arrived) and how that will impact my ability to fly long distances as I age. But, cross that bridge when I come to it!
We’ve got Big Taurus Energy for Taurus Season!
Love this post, and your positive outlook on life in general. On the Eeyore/Pollyanna spectrum (which I use to measure my own thoughts/feelings/moods), you definitely inhabit the Pollyanna end of the scale – it’s a wonderful place to be!
Strongly disagree on the whole ‘No Wide Leg Pants’ stance – but maybe that’s because I have wide legs!
Thanks so much, Amelia! I will say I did wear wide leg pants back in the 90s, including palazzo pants! Remember them? But I wear a lot of boots now, and I like the skinny jeans to just neatly tuck into them. Maybe in a different climate I’d feel different!
I love this post so much. You are always Body Positive and that really helps me when I’m having those moments of UGggghhhh. So thank you.
I’ve not heard of Black Honey, so you’re ahead of me. You made me giggle so many times.
“I cannot speak for every woman; I am no Whitney Houston.”
You are The Spiritual Gangster. I agree with you on the pretty undies; I have no time in my life for wearing ugly underthings!
Thanks so much Suz, you’re the sweetest. Pretty panties forever!!!!
I bet Black Honey would look divine on you!
I have Black Honey lipstick in my makeup bag right now, and I had it in the 1990s. I’m not as thrilled as everyone else because I don’t think it looks good on me. To be honest, I have yet to find any lipstick shade that looks good on me. 😒
You have the same feelings about Lululemon that I do about Athleta. I wear their pants all year because they are so comfortable!
Happy Birthday Month once more, since tomorrow IT’S GONNA BE MAY! 🤣
I have found that the lipstick shades I love have really changed over the decades! Back in the 90s I was all about Revlon’s Love That Red and dark brown lipsticks. That would NOT suit me now! Although, I still do like a bolder lip when I’m “out on the town,” as often as that happens!
Mayyyyy! Already!
In no particular order based on what I can remember in my gnat’s brain: I love that tank top and I love that Mr Nicole said you needed it.
I was apparently on the Black Honey train before it was a train, which I only realized after I’d given one to Eve for Christmas and she found mine in my drawer and said “did you buy yourself one at the same time? It looks like a whole other colour on you, so maybe it does flatter everyone.
I love your cleaning t-shirt.
I can only have my nails painted for a day or two and then I feel like my nails are suffocating. I always envy and admire people who have consistently polished and cared for nails.
I love that we have the same lipstick TWINNING!!!!
The cleaning t-shirt was also a birthday gift and it makes me feel so happy, so I’m happy that you love it too.
Oh, and whenever my bra and underwear don’t match I always have this tiny voice in my head saying Nicole would not approve. 🙂
Lolololol!!! Girl, you know me!
Ohhh, I am going to need to try the Sally Hansen gel polish. I have tried MULTIPLE drugstore gel polishes/top coats and my nails still chip after a few days. I’m not asking for much here… I just want to be able to have nails that aren’t chipped for a week. Please, nail polish gods!
I love your views on aging and your body. It’s a privilege to be able to age and to do it with grace? Even better! Like Suzanne said, I wish I could bottle up your joy and positivity about life. We need more of that in our society!
This polish is good for a week for sure! I could maybe stretch it to 10 days in a more humid climate/ the summer, but my regular polish was always chipping after a couple of days at best.
I love your attitude and completely agree that stages of life – esp. women’s – should be celebrated much more, we go through so many changes (that men don’t).
Thanks for the lovely recommendations in your favorite’s list. I do agree that matching panties and bras are a must and I love your birthday outfit – your style is right up my alley!
Thanks so much, San! I know our styles are very similar!
Happy belated birthday! I realized I had stopped getting your posts and just hopefully remedied that.
I have one pandora bracelet but haven’t gotten a charm in a long time. Mother’s Day approaches…
Ooooh time to drop the hints!
I hope you remedied it – I think there is a way to get email notifications – I hope it works! xo
Oh, happiest of belated birthdays, Nicole. Your blog is such a joy to read – I love your approach to your body, and to life in general. Why did it take me so long to read it??
Your happiness and contentment just shine through your face and through your writing. Thanks for sharing your light with all of us. <3
Thank you so much, Anne, that is so sweet of you. xo