I am a person who likes to have little treats and things to look forward to every single day. Sometimes these treats are very simple parts of my everyday life, for example, when I wake up, I think “oooh, coffee,” or “yay, it’s pasta night!” I spend time choosing a scented lotion to apply after my shower, every day I text or message or see a friend, and even on my busiest days I squeeze in some time to read a book. These are all just tiny joys that brighten a regular day.
Fridays are my favourite day of the week, and I always try to fit in lots of happy little things on Fridays. Last Friday was my birthday, which happens to be my favourite day of the year, and so I decided I would just make it a day full of lovely joyful things: coffee and reading and yoga, an energy-boosting Peloton ride with a fire playlist, a long walk with Rex, which is always a joy, even in the falling wet snow.
Earlier this week I came across some videos from when the kids were small; it was very nostalgic and sweet, and I had that bittersweet feeling that accompanies the end of an era. Look at how cute they are, I thought. They called me Mama! It’s so easy to gloss over the physical exhaustion of caring for a 2-and-3-year-old, it’s easy to forget messy mealtimes and meltdowns and night wakings when faced with a tiny voice saying “Mama go yo-yoga! Cheese! Not bathtime yet Dada!” But even as I look back on that sweetness, on the cusp of yet another era ending, I have to tell you that it is really wonderful, having adult and almost-adult children. My older son was working Friday evening so he treated me to brunch; we had a lovely visit and I had the most amazing avocado toast.
For my birthday dinner that evening, my husband and younger son brought me takeout from my favourite Lebanese place; as usual I raved over the food and also as usual, my son asked plaintively that if I love it this much, why don’t we eat there more often? It’s a good question.
As I usually do on Fridays, I had a few glasses of some lovely red wine, and I also treated myself to a couple of episodes of NYPD Blue.
The birthday weekend really began on Thursday, with gifts and a family viewing of Seinfeld, my choice of episode; I chose the one with Keith Hernandez (“I’m not DRIVING him to the AIRPORT!”), and didn’t end until cake and a dinner I did not make nor clean up for on Sunday.
It’s been a bit of a busy week for me, so it was nice to wind things up on Friday. I’ve been in constant cleaning and decluttering mode and it’s exhausting. I am no minimalist, but I do a big Kondo-style declutter every few years, and so I did not think, prior to this past month, that I had a lot of stuff. I also, if you had asked me a month ago, thought that I had a very clean and organized house, but after this extreme iteration of decluttering and cleaning, I am now of the opinion that we are a family of disgusting swamp monsters who are wallowing around in our own filth and over-consumption.
I know this is not a popular opinion, but in general I find cleaning to be a very soothing and satisfying job. I took yoga teacher training with a lovely woman who owns a small cleaning company, and we once had a long discussion about this exact thing. There’s something so great about stepping back and admiring the results of your hard work. I was really feeling it after the past few weeks; giving things away on the Buy Nothing page, scrubbing and scouring little corners of the house that have been neglected, and generally raising the bar on the overall cleanliness of the house. I was so pleased with myself, even if no one else noticed that I’d scrubbed the tile ceiling of the shower or the areas behind the toilets.
Here’s a little tidbit about Rex: in the last six-plus months since he came to us, he’s become very well-known at the dog park. Everyone there is very indulgent, as a nearly-100-pound dog runs in circles around them and then, with certain receptive people, comes in for a pet. “Hi Rex, yes, hi there.” He is laughed at constantly in a gentle way, as he will take a run and then barrel roll in the grass or snow or leaves, depending on the season. He’s always rolling around joyfully, and it’s very cute, and then he shakes it all off.
Earlier this week I had let him outside; it was only five minutes later he barked to come back in. This is what I was greeted with:
I have never seen him in such a state before; he had dry grass everywhere from his eyebrows to the tip of his tail and it took some significant brushing and six sweeps of the floor to deal with. Six sweeps of the previously spotless floor. Was he trying to bring me more cleaning satisfaction by bringing in a yard’s worth of dead grass? Or perhaps reminding us to not neglect the yardwork, with all this inside work? What a good boy.
Weekly Reading
I had some very good and interesting reads this week, one fiction and two non.
How Not To Drown In A Glass Of Water. The structure of this book, about a woman who, after 26 years, loses her factory job, is quite interesting. This is in NYC in 2009, the woman is in her fifties, is not a US citizen, and neither reads nor writes in English. The book is made up of one-sided conversation, as she goes to a 12 week career counselling program after losing her factory job. Through these interviews, her life is revealed: her early life in the Dominican, her struggle to pay bills, her relationships with her son, sister, and the people in her building. In a way this book made me think of Olive Ketteridge, as the narrator is unreliable and deeply flawed, but also with a good heart. There were a few parts that made me a bit breathless with the reveal; it’s a very real book. It’s a fascinating look into what it means to be a community member, and how the financial crisis affected vulnerable populations.
The Body Liberation Project. How much of diet culture and toxic wellness ideology is steeped in racism? A lot. This important book explores the connection and is incredibly uplifting and inspiring, to bring joy and love to our physical bodies and whole selves. As a white, straight-sized, cis woman who has immense social, economic, and health privilege, I have to say much of it is uncomfortable to read. But discomfort is where growth begins. Being an ally in anti-racism doesn’t mean performatively posting video and memes and black squares on social media. That’s less than worthless, according to the author. We need to learn and do better, and not try to explain to other white people why hashtag Black Lives Matter. We need to listen. Sometimes we need to just be quiet and step back. Lots of learning and thoughts from this very excellent book.
Token Black Girl. This was fascinating and, for me, really eye-opening and informative. I don’t think I’ve read a memoir with this POV before. The author us an affluent Black woman who grew up going to elite schools and activities with nearly all-white populations. She began working in the fashion industry, and her experiences in our world of structural racism and white supremacy seem shocking and, if you’re wondering how to change things, overwhelming. I learned a lot reading this young woman’s story, about fashion, beauty, and the struggle to fit in to a society that at its core undervalues Black people. It was a really great read. Also, after reading about what lengths she and other women go to for their hair, I will never complain about my own locks again. Well, I probably will, but I will try not to.
I have an interesting and somewhat complicated week coming up; I hope you all have a beautiful week filled with wonderful things. Maybe even some cake! xo
Happy, happy birthday week and month, Nicole!! XOXOXO What cake did you choose for Sunday?
You’re so right about each parenting stage being delightful in its own way–those toddler faces and saying though! They get me every time!
As always a great book haul–those last two books must have played off so well against each other.
Those books were so great to read one after the other. I have been thinking so much about them.
I had angel food cake with berries!
Are you my twin? I also love the little treats in life! My biggest one, almost everyday, is a quarter cup of mixed nuts and a small piece of 80% dark chocolate with a cup of herbal tea, right after lunch. I actually love everything you mentioned, except I don’t have a dog to walk and I probably wouldn’t rewatch NYPD Blue.
Happy, Happy Birthday! I hope it’s a happy, healthy year filled to the brim with little joys! XO
Mixed nuts and dark chocolate – girl, yes. All the yes!
NYPD Blue is obviously dated, but it is still so good.
Ooh, Happy Birthday!!!!! I love your attitude towards birthdays and Fridays in general. I also love having little treats to brighten up the days. And omg- Rex. The look on his face in those pictures… ha ha ha!!! I can see why everyone in the dog park loves him, and why you weren’t mad at him bringing the yard in to your clean floor. Who could resist those eyes?
I hope your interesting and complicated week goes well (I’m intrigued!) I hope it involves leftover birthday cake.
Treats are what makes life worth living, in my opinion! It’s so nice to have something, even something tiny, to look forward to!
Happy Birthday again! It sounds like a perfectly wonderful day and isn’t it delightful to incorporate those little joys into daily life! Coffee! Exercise! People (and pets) we love?!
I also agree about Friday’s; they are hands down my favourite day of the week.
Also, love this statement: discomfort is where growth begins. HOW TRUE. <3
Fridays are just the best!!
Happy birthday (belated), Nicole! Your weekend of celebration sounds wonderful!
I, too, love having little treats daily. I agree about the coffee, the exercise, the dog! My son will be done with school soon and will be home for the summer so it’s going to be even more fun for me!
Oh, Rex! He does look very sorry for bringing in all the grass with him; can’t get mad at him for reminding you that the outside needs care, too! Good boy, Rex! 😉
I also need to get some decluttering and cleaning done around here. I’m not one who thinks cleaning/decluttering is fun but I’m looking forward to it — that tells you how cluttered it feels!
Hope your week is less complicated than it seems!
I feel so much more calm when things are organized and clean!
Enjoy having your son home – how wonderful for you!
Happy birthday Nicole! And thank you for another wonderful blog. I also anticipate small daily pleasures- the first being my 2 big mugs of coffee that I look forward to daily. Time with my book is a close second (
(often the two are concurrent). I reorganized my pantry yesterday and I’ve gone back to look at and admire it a dozen times now! I also want to know what cake you chose. Thanks for more great books for my list!
Coffee and books and an organized pantry! You are speaking my language!
My cake was angel food with berries, which I absolutely love.
I love little treats too, so I enjoyed reading about your favorites! My favorite treat at the moment is a little bowl of vanilla ice cream. Pure delight! And I also know the feeling of having your sock completely off inside your boots! It’s so distracting and uncomfortable! And I love that you mentioned it! I wish you all the best during your complicated week!
Mmmm…there’s something very satisfying about vanilla ice cream. So Delicious has one that is made from coconut milk and so it’s vanilla/ coconut flavoured and it is just a pure delight!
You, Bijoux, and I need to meet in person. I think we’d have a great time. I, too, agree with the cleaning sentiments. Tidying up makes me feel more at ease. I nodded along with everything you said. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I also enjoy doing little nice things for myself during birthday month/week…and, honestly, all year. However, this all started during my birthday month. It was through this process that I learned to treat myself better. I’m glad you do these things for yourself as well.
Happy birthday, my dear friend. I’ll toast you as well this week. I hope you are able to persevere through this complicated week. I am sending you my love.😘
That would be awesome. How much fun would we have!
I hope you have lots of little joys on this birthday week of yours! Enjoy! xoxo
Oh, Rex. I’m not at all surprised that he is well known at the dog park. That photo of him sitting up right covered in grass – well, his face just screams: I DIDN’T MEAN TO. I JUST COULDN’T HELP IT.
Happy belated b-day! Your weekend sounds wonderful. You are a champion at finding and enjoying small treats. I think I need to get better at this. I do love my quiet time while the tots are napping, when I enjoy my Greek cherry yogurt. I LOVE eating Chipolte, and your son raises a good question – why not eat it more often?
I do not necessarily enjoy cleaning, but decluttering is a thrill for me. Not that I take enough time to do it, but when I do, WOW. It feels great. I do truly enjoy the satisfaction of cleaning as well, but I’d prefer my people get more invovled in the process because there’s no reason for most cleaning tasks to fall to me.
I died laughing at SWAMP MONSTERS.
I am lucky because the guys are all pretty neat and clean, and definitely do their share of cleaning. I think that if they didn’t I would feel very resentful indeed. But as it is, things are just fine.
“Also, after reading about what lengths she and other women go to for their hair, I will never complain about my own locks again. Well, I probably will, but I will try not to.” I remember vowing never to complain about doing laundry again after reading How To Be A Victorian, and that vow has not been kept, but I do stop myself a lot from complaining because wow! do I have it made compared to other people. It’s always nice to get some real perspective, isn’t it?
Happy birthday! I’m glad it was a wonderful day and included some Rex time! He’s such a handsome boy.
Yes, that book really made me think about laundry as well! And…toilets, showering, and pretty much everything in my life. I AM SO HAPPY NOT TO BE VICTORIAN.
Happy birthday– it looked delightful on IG as well. Toddlers are my jam– I am addicted to them and love everything about them (even the hard parts). But I agree! Big kids are a real delight as well.
Toddlers are great! But, they are not in my world anymore, at least not until the grandchildren come along (may that day be a little while off, please).
I hope your interesting and complicated week goes SO smoothly. I am sending you so much smooth and calm energy.
Your birthday weekend sounds SO lovely. Full of pleasures, small and large.
Your description of cleaning is interesting. I can certainly agree with the satisfying aspect of it. It is deeply satisfying to work hard and to see the result. But oh boy. Cleaning NEVER ENDS. It’s like cooking. How many times must I scrub the grout before it STAYS CLEAN? It will never happen. But that’s a negative way to approach it, and perhaps I need to lean into the soothing aspect of it. I am just cranky because my daughter’s room is in desperate need of a deep clean — there is just Stuff everywhere, and tiny treasures crowded on every available surface and so many socks! how does she have so many socks! that are flung into far corners. We probably also need to go through her bookshelf again and cull some of the books she no longer reads, always a satisfying but slightly sad endeavor.
I love Rex’s slightly guilty look in the second grass-covered photo. Like, he knows you are taking a photo, but possibly not purely for purposes of admiration.
GOOD LUCK THIS WEEK!!!
“Serenity now serenity now SERENITY NOWWWWW”
It’s true the cleaning never really ends, just like the laundry and the making of dinner. What is UP with that! The floors are currently my bugaboo. I will clean them, I’ll be happy, and then GROSS. And it’s not just Rex and his grass problems, I think it’s because we made the mistake of putting in non-matte finish hardwood, so it shows EVERYTHING.
Happy birthday! A day full of joyful things sounds so perfect!
I find cleaning exhausting, but I do like doing the bathrooms- I feel like our bathroom is always such a pit that it will always look better when I’m done. All other parts of my house… I can spend hours and it still looks like a cluttered mess.
Thanks Diane! It was a great day.
Bathrooms are always so SATISFYING to clean!
Happy Birthday! I love cleaning and organizing too, In fact, when I’m mad or depressed or anxious, I know giving something a good cleaning will turn my mood around. I’m guessing I feel that, at least, I’m control of something when I do.
I’m glad you had a nice birthday. Rex’s facial expressions are something else. He’s an old soul, I think.
I know, he has such an expressive face!
Happy Birthday, Nicole! I’m so happy to learn how well you spent your special day; it was a very nice reminder that we don’t always need to go all out to have a good time, because our special day can be just as extraordinary if we spend it doing all those little things we look forward to and brings us joy. Also, that avocado toast looks delicious! Buen provecho!
Rex is just hilarious and adorable; his eyes are definitely giving you THE look.
I loved reading your summary on “The Body Liberation Project” by Chrissy King; and I loved the pointing out how being an ally in anti-racism goes beyond random black square posts on Instagram. Remember when the hashtag once got over-flooded with those posts and all the important information got lost within those black squares? Crazy.
“We need to listen. Sometimes we need to just be quiet and step back.” I totally agree.
Thank you for sharing this!
Yes, I do remember that, and I was very interested to read about the body positivity movement, and how it was coopted by white women. I did not realize that it was initially a space for Black women to feel safe. There are so many important voices and I think people who are in the dominant culture need to learn to be quiet so those voices can be heard, rather than reposting and “amplifying” voices, if you know what I mean.
Happy (belated) birthday, Nicole!! I love that you give yourself little treats – we all need to gift ourselves little treats to get through the days. And yes, most days I think my house is pretty clean and organized and then I really get the cleaning bug and determine that I live with wolves.
Hahah! Totally. Me, a few weeks ago: we are disgusting animals!
Oof on the sock that came off in the boot. I’ve been there man.
The hubs went on a big decluttering spree last fall so of course I joined in on the fun. It felt so good to tame all of our stuff. Lately I’ve been thinking of doing some deep cleaning – just divide the house into sections and tackle one section each week but thinking about it is as far as I’ve gotten.
Happy birthday and yay for cake and wine and meals that you didn’t have to cook!
Dividing and conquering is the way to go!
Well, a very happy birthday to you! Your birthday dinner and brunch look amazing. What’s in the black & white checkered paper?
I think we are all swamp monsters! It’s crazy how quickly things get messy and dirty. Our floors! Good grief, I sweep and could sweep again just a few hours later. The amount of fur and whatever gets tracked in from outside (yes, some here don’t take their shoes off at the door – grr!) is just ridiculous.
Ending of eras is so hard. Just this weekend I found something we had written for a caretaker when my son was 3. On many, many days, I can’t believe that part of my life is over. Only recently has it also struck me that those days feel like a lifetime ago now. It is so very bittersweet.
Be well.
Chrisoula, I hear you. The floors are a source of constant cleaning for me.
The sandwich I had is called the “mouh” – it’s eggplant with mouhmassa sauce, and it is in a pita and is completely delicious.
Happy belated birthday. I’m so happy it was full of all the stuff you wanted it to be full of..that is a blessing.
*sigh* Our kids have grown up. Who knew that would happen? I mean, when they were 2 we didn’t see this as our future. I too, love the adult part of my kids so much. They are amazing people, and mine still call me Mama, which is sweet.
Laughing at your asshole sock and asshole NOT spring. 🙂
So, you’re a ‘family of disgusting swamp monsters who are wallowing around in our own filth and over-consumption.’? MINE TOO! 😉
Rex; he’s a special boy and I’m so happy he’s in your crew.
Kids growing up! It’s wonderful for sure.
That sock was a total asshole.
Happy birthday!! I had to jump in on the chill-ness of cleaning. I don’t find relaxation in all cleaning activities (and maybe I will if my house ever gets less cluttered) – however, doing the dishes is possibly my main relaxation activity. I just love it; it’s contained, there’s visible progress, warm water… If only I could find that sort of enjoyment in dusting!
Oh, I get this! I mean, I do dishes so many times a day the feeling kind of wears!
Happy birthday!! Doing all of your favorite things seems like the perfect way to spend the day.
Thanks Sarah, it was pretty wonderful!
Happy belated birthday! The way you celebrated sounds perfect – I love that you didn’t prepare nor clean up after the Sunday meal! That is a great gift in and of itself! As you know, I’m in that stage of parenting that you are nostalgic about. I do love the hugs and the sweet moments. But gosh it is physical and demanding! I’m trying to soak up the sweet moments while remembering it will go by faster than I think and someday I might miss aspects of it…
I feel similarly about organizing as you do about cleaning/organization. I don’t enjoy the scrubbing process as much but I love a good purge of stuff we no longer need. It felt so good to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff last weekend at goodwill!
Oh, it’s HARD, Lisa, and I hope you know that I really do see you. There is just so much physical WORK involved! It is very demanding, having toddlers. So please remember that it just gets better and better, in my humble opinion! Gosh, I love my teens. The teen years are honestly delightful!
I love that you are positive about teens. I feel like they get a bad rap in general which isn’t fair IMO. I am loving age 5 and feel like I will continue to love the stages ahead. I get a lot of questions about whether I’m sad that Paul is going to kindergarten in the fall and the answer is not at all. He’s so ready and so very excited for school. At some point I might get sad as I know the years are going to go by fast. But I don’t feel sad at all. I am very happy on each of the boys’ birthdays. Being closer to having the baby/toddler stage behind us is a GOOD THING.
All that said, it is good for me to recognize that there are some aspects of this stage that I will miss. It makes me appreciate them more. So I really soak up rocking my son and singing to him before bedtime because I know these moments are fleeting. And when I had Will, I held him SO MUCH when he was a baby because after having Paul, I knew how fast they’d get so squirmy. So I had to hold Will for every nap because he would only nap while being held and I did not complain about this because I knew it was only going to happen until we did sleep training before I returned to work. So it does help to keep in mind what I will miss down the road!
Age five is SO fun and kindergarten is an absolutely delightful year! I loved when my kids were in kindergarten!
Happy belated birthday! Similarly to what others said, I do love a good cleaning. I often feel like I am not only cleaning and organizing my space but also organizing and rearranging my brain 🙂 Looking forward to reading more of your blog. BTW, I’m Daria from New Jersey.
Hi Daria! Thank you so much for your comment! You have said it exactly – it is a brain organization/ rearrangement as well. I feel so much calmer when things are neat and tidy!
I am so glad you had such a wonderful birthday, Nicole! If anyone deserves to feel loved and happy on their birthday, it’s you! That avocado toast looks AMAZE.
Those photos of Rex, ha! He was giving a look like, “These pictures are going on the blog, aren’t they?”
I added Token Black Girl to my TBR based on your review on Instagram. It sounds great!
Thanks Stephany!
TBG is a really good book and I think you’ll enjoy it a lot. I think the writer is fairly close in age to you (in any case, she’s a lot younger than me) so the time period of the book may be familiar to you.
Happy belated birthday, to one of the brightest lights of joy on the internet. Your anticipation and enjoyment of bits of happiness in every day should really be how we all approach life – aren’t we just lucky to be here, living life? To be able to eat fabulous Lebanese food (yummm…and yes, you should eat it more often!), drink coffee (what I am doing now), do yoga (that’s a you thing, not a me thing but no hard feelings ;>)… all of that is just the chocolate syrup on top of the ice cream. 🙂
And, oh, Rex. I swear, though – he’s part-human. His face! his expressions! his utter devotion to you! 🙂
Thanks so much, Anne!
Happy belated birthday (again), friend. So nice you had a lovely time with your family and yes, there’s little joys to be found in every day (starting with coffee in the morning) 🙂
Thank you San! Having a coffee right now 🙂