Happy Monday everyone! I hope you all had a restful weekend. It’s back the grind this week – I am back to teaching today, my son is back at school for three whole days before exam break begins, my husband is in the office and my other son is back to work. Rex is looking at a busy week of destroying his “indestructible” monkey.
Let’s talk books!
In my Ask Me Anything, many questions centered around reading; I discussed my favourite books and authors last Friday, and today I will tackle all the other questions.
Chrisoula (HI CHRISOULA) asked: How do you read so much? Are you a fast reader? Do you set time aside every day for reading? I generally read two to three books a week; last year I read 155 books, as compared to 156 in 2021, so my numbers are pretty consistent. I have always been a pretty fast reader, although some books are made to really savor, with dense writing and descriptions. Truthfully, I don’t remember I time when I didn’t read; according to my mom, I was parroting the words to all my picture books at age two, and by three was reading new books from the library without help. So I guess all those years of practice have resulted in a fairly fast reading pace. I try to carve out specific reading time every single day, and feel quite unsettled if that doesn’t happen. There is a wonderful podcast I listen to, called Forever 35, and the first question that the hosts always ask their guests is tell us about your self-care practices. Every time I listen I think what if I was that guest, what would I say? There are really so many little rituals that I have in my day that I would characterize as Self-Care, and one of the most important ones is reading. I keep a book in my bag when I am going to appointments, and I usually read at little moments throughout the day as well – fifteen minutes here, ten minutes there. There is usually an hour or two in the evening when my husband is watching sports or a television show, that I will sit companionably with him and read.
Stephany (HI STEPHANY) asked: What’s one book that everyone loves but you hated? Wooooo, that is an interesting and divisive question! My immediate reaction was Educated. For a while there, everyone and their dog was recommending it; I read it when it first came out and I had such a visceral negative reaction to it, even worse than when I read The Glass Castle. Listen, I am happy the author made it through her absolutely horrible life, but I wish I didn’t know the details. I really hate memoirs that focus on what is essentially child abuse, especially when such abuse is described in excruciating detail, while at the same time being pleased that the memoirist came out the other side. Interestingly, my son recently read it for his English class, and he did not have the same reaction as me; he enjoyed it very much, inasmuch as you can enjoy a book about incredibly adverse childhood experiences. On a less-passionate note, there are many authors who are very popular and well-loved, and that just don’t resonate with me: Kristin Hannah and Jody Picoult come to mind, and I am sorry to say it because I know these books are beloved, but I also did not like The Alice Network or Where The Crawdads Sing. I very much dislike science fiction and dystopia, but I know this about myself and I never read those genres. In fact, I had talked to my friend Nicole (HI NICOLE) about Station Eleven, a book that she loved and that is generally much-admired and considered to be excellent. I asked her if I should read it and she emphatically said NO. Isn’t it great to have friends who know your taste?
Speaking of taste, Engie (HI ENGIE) had a number of questions about my reading preferences, TBR lists, and recommendations. She asked: What books do you frequently recommend? This is a really interesting question, because unless I know someone’s specific reading style, I do not recommend fiction to them. There are a couple of people, like my reading twin Anna (HI ANNA) who I know enjoy the same things that I do, and for those people I do recommend certain books. But across the board, I am careful to say that I loved a book, without a recommendation. It’s so personal, isn’t it, what resonates with a reader? The books I love often are fairly plot-less, and more character-driven, and sometimes literally nothing happens. People who love a thick plot are often disappointed with my favourite books. I mean, do not read Diary of a Provincial Lady if you are looking for heart-pounding action.
There is, however, one book that I do recommend across the board, and that is Your Body, Your Best Friend. I don’t think there is a woman alive who would not be uplifted by this book about healing your relationship with your body, your appearance, and society. I read this book in August of 2020, and it was honestly life-changing and healing for me. I also like to recommend Wake Up To The Joy Of You, a weekly meditation book about creating a life filled with peace, joy, and meaning.
As a follow-up to this, Engie asked: What book do you recommend to someone in a reading rut? If that rut means that someone is in a “nothing appeals” slump, then honestly, I would recommend a return to an old favourite, whatever that may be. If a person needs something joyful and fun, I would recommend the whole Rosie series by Graeme Simsion; it is the only series I can think of that gets better with subsequent books. Mostly, if someone is in a rut or a slump, I think a book of essays or something short is always a good idea, just to get momentum going; I really enjoyed These Precious Days and Bomb Shelter, for example. For something fresh and unique: The Housekeeper and the Professor is very original, as is all of Katherine Heiny’s writing.
Engie also asked: What book has been on your TBR the longest? What book do you think you “should” read, but probably never will? I just went to look at my “For Later” shelves and was very surprised to see that the very last book on there was added on 2018, and was The End Of Your Life Book Club. I don’t remember adding it. I actually thought it would be something from Christiane Northrup, as I had added a bunch of her books after reading, and loving, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom back in 2018. Before you all start messaging me: I know. I know! She has been extremely problematic during the pandemic, and frequently touts pseudo-science. However, I do have The Wisdom of Menopause on my shelf and I will read it (yes, I have read The Menopause Manifesto, it’s excellent and my go-to resource) because I am confident I can separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. As for what book I “should” read but won’t: there are a lot on the list but what comes to mind immediately is War and Peace. I am DONE with male writers of that era, DONE. I have no interest, and also, I am sick to death of supporting male writers who were allowed to live their truth while the women around them slaved to maintain those men’s physical and logistical needs, with no credit whatsoever. I am looking RIGHT at you, Thoreau.
On that note, Engie asked: If a librarian had to describe your library habits in three words, what would those words be? I was going to say Women Writers Only, but that’s not totally true, there are a handful of male-written books on my TBR and favourites lists. I greatly prefer books that centre around women and their lives, as well. Women Writers Mostly?
The final question for today, and it’s a very sweet one, comes from Michelle (HI MICHELLE). She asked: Have you written a book? Are you writing a book? I love books with funny main characters, and I think you’d do a brilliant job! Well, I am blushing. Thank you Michelle! I have not nor am I currently writing a book, but it is something that I do want to do. I have a number of ideas floating in my mind, but have not yet set pen to paper, nor fingers to keyboard. I will give you one of my favourite quotes from Diary of a Provincial Lady: Overhear one lady in stalls ask another: Why don’t you write a play, dear? Wel, says the friend, it’s so difficult, with one thing and another, to find time. Am staggered. (Query: Could I write a play myself? Could we all write plays, if only we had the time?) I feel this, so much.
Weekly Reading
Let’s move on to what I read this week! As a quick update for those of you who are interested, Gretchen Rubin happened to be on a podcast I follow (How To Be A Better Human) and I think that, based on that pod and The Happiness Project, she is just not for me. I tried!
Tale of the Dreamer’s Son. This was such an original and beautifully written book about a child growing up in a cult in Malaysia, a country I know very little about, but which has a disturbing and fascinating political climate, past and present. The story centres around the children growing up in the cult and their relationships to each other; the timeline jumps from the 70s and 80s to present day, which is a literary device that I very much enjoy. There was just so much to this plot and character, I had to keep flipping back to see the foreshadowing that I didn’t realize was foreshadowing. The story is very compelling and I look forward to reading more by this talented author. Many thanks to Maya (HI MAYA) for the recommendation!
Eat To Love. Hey, I got a Kobo for Christmas! As I tried to figure out how to borrow library books, I downloaded this one. Did someone recommend it? Did the library algorithm recommend it? I have no idea. I actually wasn’t going to read it, only to use it as a test. I mean, how cliche to read a book about food and eating in January. No thanks! But I looked at a page and was hooked. It’s primarily a book about Buddhist principles and meditation, using them to accept your body and yourself, exactly the way you are right now. I don’t know a woman alive for whom this book wouldn’t resonate with. It’s also a feminist look at the societal pressures we face so much that sometimes, we don’t realize it. So much is ingrained, it’s a journey to untangle. I think this book would be of value to any woman; it put me in mind of (circle back) Your Body, Your Best Friend.
I mean!
Woof, that hits home.
Strangers To Ourselves: Unsettled Minds and the Stories That Make Us. My son gave me this book for Christmas, which was a bit of a bold move, considering I read a lot of books and it’s a bit of a flex to find a book I am interested in but have neither read nor mentioned. It was a good choice; it was an absolutely fascinating look at mental illness and the affect that diagnosis and treatments can have. From 1970s-era mental institutions, to incarceration, to the “prescription cascade,” in which side effects from medications end up being medicated by more medications, this look at how we deal with mental illness is interesting and filled with insight. There are many racial, class, and socioeconomic factors that go into treatments and diagnoses, and it’s quite wrenching. The author speaks from her own experience as the youngest person ever diagnosed with anorexia; she was hospitalized at age six when she suddenly stopped eating. As an adult, she doesn’t think she had anorexia, but learned behaviours from the other girls on the ward, that carried over. It’s fascinating: what is mental illness, what is baseline personality, what role do doctors and pharmacologists play? It explores a lot of grey areas.
It has been a beautifully mild start to January, lots of sunny days and blue skies to start 2023! I hope your week ahead is just as beautiful. xo
“if only we had the time?” gets me in the feels every single time! I also loved your take on reading recs; as someone who doesn’t always see what others do in books of the moment, I try to make recommendations suited for the person asking. My reading is all over the place genre-wise and chocked full of authors I can’t let go of – I can usually land on a rec, but they always come with a list of disclaimers, haha!
Oh yes, I should give disclaimers! Like, I love this book BUT nothing happens in it other than the character comes to an understanding in her life…lololol!
Wait! Do you actually have a friend called Nicole or were you talking to yourself? 😛 (FWIW, _Station Eleven_ is dystopic, but in a way that seems incidental–the novel itself is about life and art. Also, it starts in Toronto. Just saying.)
Thank you for the shoutout and the snippets from _Eat to Love_, Nicole. And I’ll add myself to the list of people who are awaiting your book! Your advice for people in a reading rut is so spot on. Also, sometimes my friends want to read, but don’t have time, and short stories really hit the spot.
I have not one but several Nicoles in my life! There are a lot of us from the 1970s!
Short stories are my favourite; I just love how so much can be packed into so few pages.
What soulful eyes that dog has.
I loved Station Eleven, but it’s right in my wheelhouse. I’ve always loved dystopian fiction because it allows me to imagine all my problems suddenly erased (and replaced with worse ones, but still…) Actually, one of the things I like about it is how different authors imagine rebuilding society. That can ultimately be quite hopeful. Not trying to talk you out of a set preference, just explaining mine.
I like that explanation! I guess I find it too disturbing to read, but also, I have a hard time getting my head wrapped around certain concepts. Like, as I’ve said before, time travel. I just can’t do it!
Yes, that was a bold move of your son to get you a book! He chose well- he must have really thought hard about what you would like. I haven’t read Educated, but I feel the same way you do- I HATE books where bad things happen to children. Then I feel bad for not wanting to read it, like I’m being insensitive or burying my head in the sand. So I feel like you’ve now given me permission to skip it, guilt-free. Thank you!
I’ve spent my entire life disliking sci fi and fantasy, but am just now getting into it, a little. i think it was reading the Harry Potter books, which I LOVED. I thought- wait a minute, these are fantasy! Maybe I like fantasy after all! It is definitely not my favorite genre, but I’m branching out.
DO NOT READ EDUCATED! Also skip The Glass Castle and while you’re at it, don’t read Angela’s Ashes either! All these books kind of haunted me.
HI NICOLE! Thank you for the shout out! 🙂 It’s true, I love everything you recommend and my TBR list changes often with your recommendations! I did love Educated, but it was rather disturbing… However, we are book twins and I agree about Where the Crawdads Sing. I liked it, read it twice in fact for a book club I was in, but everyone, PLEASE stop telling me they read that book. I’m over it! Time for something new to discuss. Also, I was on a big search for Provincial Lady sequels and ended up ordering an anthology of the novels on Thrift Books, just so I could read more of them. Happy Reading!!
PS. I can’t with Jodi Picoult and Kristin Hannah either. After I read My Sister’s Keeper I said Never Again!
I threw My Sister’s Keeper across the room when I was done. I did try a few more Jodi Picoult books, but I cannot like any of the endings of her books. (Except for Leaving Time – that’s the only one I liked.) Why do some authors start off well with a book and then collapse in the last chapters? (Looking at Maeve Binchy as well).
I don’t think I’ve heard of Leaving Time!
I too did that with My Sister’s Keeper! The end made me so mad, I have never picked up a Picoult again, and never will. I can hold a GRUDGE.
Always when you post a book I immediately put it on my list – unless I’ve already read it, which happens a lot to us!
I started Eat to Love during the summer but never finished it. I enjoyed it a lot, although it was a heavy read. I also don’t think I was in the right state of mind to read it. I had no idea how messed up diet culture was, and how much of it Generation X had grown up with.
Station Eleven is on my TBR list, I believe because of Suzanne. I really like how we all end up in a wonderful virtual book reading circle.❤️
It is fairly heavy about diet culture, but I really liked that about the book. You definitely need to be in the right frame of mind to read it.
I really liked Educated and The Glass Castle, but I know what you mean. Somewhere out in the universe there is the “winner” of The Worst Childhood Ever and while I am glad that the author survived, I will never, ever talk about that book.
I don’t have a go-to source for book recommendations, but I certainly keep my ear to the ground in our unofficial reading circle. I’ve used the group’s reviews to guide me when I’m on the fence about reading a particular book, and I feel like I get good advice on whether to go for it or to skip it.
I follow a lot of readers on Instagram, and I find I get some recommendations there that I might not elsewhere!
I’ve finally done it. I flipped to the last page of my notebook to start a list of books to read . . . the first column I wrote is under the heading ‘Nicole’s books.’ I’ve jotted down titles in the past, but I need a more central spot that I won’t lose. You are a reading machine and I so enjoy your book reviews. I don’t like sci-fi or speculative fiction, or whaterver that’s called, either. Many times I like what you like. Although, I CANNOT keep up. I’m lucky if I get a page turned in my book before I fall asleep at night. I do bring books to appointments and b-ball games to read during half time.
I think if I ever asked a question of you, it would’ve been how do you read so much – and someone else asked it, so my question is answered. 😉
Thanks Ernie! If you do read some of those, let me know!
1) That face! Rex has no guilt about the fate of Monkey.
2) Thanks for answering all my questions. I just love to hear people talk about books!
3) The Housekeeper and the Professor is such a lovely book. I really went through a Japanese literature phase and this was the most uplifting of the books I read. Also, I recommend Convenience Store Woman if you haven’t read it. I still think about that book years later.
4) I think I have a fairly healthy body image, so I actually don’t read any books about weight/self-esteem/body image on purpose because I feel like if I do read those books, I’ll actually start thinking about my body as more than the vessel I must keep healthy because it holds my brain. Would you still recommend Your Body, Your Best Friend?
I have Convenience Store Woman on hold at the library! Maybe you recommended it! I just know that I’m in the queue.
If you don’t want to read a book about self-esteem and body image, and healing from that, then no, I wouldn’t recommend Your Body Your Best Friend.
Just adding a million of these books to my library holds list…
I love reading about your reading habits. And your strategy not to recommend a specific book to a specific person unless you know their reading habits is so smart! Since I read a bit, lots of my friends and acquaintances ask me for suggestions, but that’s an impossible request unless you know what they like and who they like to read. I find it goes the other way, too. It’s very hard for people to recommend books to me, because I feel like I am picky in weird ways. For this reason, my husband is my best book recommender — probably because he sees what I am in reading At The Moment, plus he and I read a lot of overlapping fiction so he knows what I like. His dad — also an avid reader — is always sending me books that he liked, and the vast majority of them are books I do not like. (Perhaps if I could find a way to TELL HIM this, he would have a better sense of what to send me.)
Also, I am feeling the urge to find a sci-fi book that you will like. BUT, if I do come across such a creature, I will not force it upon you, I promise. We are allowed to dislike what we dislike.
I had a lady on IG constantly send me messages saying that she read books I loved and that they were incredibly boring. Well, she’s a real lover of plot-driven books, and I am more into character development. I kind of like when nothing really happens!
That does not sound fun. But it CAN be fun to have a book friend who typically reads/likes books you do not, because when you overlap it is such a surprising and pleasing event! (I have a book friend like this, and we are often sending one another books and then — I am imagining this is what he does, I do not know for sure — reading the book with a puzzled expression because it is NOT for us. And yet there are some books and authors we both adore! It’s like a puzzle, trying to find a book we both like.)
Oh yes, I agree! I feel that you and Allison are book friends like that – you both like different things from me, but sometimes we overlap as well! It makes it wonderful when we overlap!
🙂 It’s funny that you say that because I kind of ASPIRE to read more of the books you do. Like Alice Munro. I WANT to want to read her, you know? But… my heart wants murder and death and disturbing relationships and darkness. It is very pleasing when we overlap, though, I agree.
(Although apparently even I have a limit? I just read a book that had SUCH disturbing things that I am still very… disturbed, I guess is the word I am landing on. Or maybe grossed out is a better term, because it’s not going to prevent me from sleeping or anything. I just kept thinking, THIS is what you’re going with? Oh-kayyyyyyy….)
I didn’t like Educated either. It came highly recommended but it didn’t make sense to me. There were gaps in the narrative that made no sense. I’m pleased to learn that someone else didn’t like it– and doesn’t that sentence sound a lot more negative than it’s meant to be?
Ally, I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes when a book is highly acclaimed, if I don’t like it, I wonder “is it me, is there something wrong with the way I read it?”
My TBR gets longer every time I read your blog. I love your attitude toward recommendations – I have a coworker who is not a reader. As in, never reads books ever. I was on a mission to find her something that would introduce her to how wonderful books can be, and ended up getting her a copy of The Glass Castle. There were a lot of similarities in that book to her own life, and she ended up loving it (perhaps it made her feel seen). So, there truly is a book for everyone!
There really is a book for everyone! I love that. There are so many wonderful writers and genres out there, and they don’t have to work for everybody!
Wow, your son’s gift to you was so thoughtful! I am glad he picked a book that was a winner. That’s always risk! I plan to read the book he gifted you. It was of the books we voted on for our 2023 book club books – it was one of the picks from my child psychologist friend. I know that any book she researches and suggests that relates to what she does for a living is going to be good!
I get many comments asking how I read so much, too. Sometimes I get a little paranoid by that question. Like they think I am neglecting life by reading. Or that I’ve found some magic way to fit reading it. I don’t read quite as much as you – I read 114 books in 2023. So still A LOT. The year before was 129 but many pages were read in the middle of the night when I was nursing Will. I am HAPPY I read fewer books as that means I slept more! I was so exhausted during the infant stage that I could read while nursing him and have no problem going back to sleep! What a stage of life… I am happy to not repeat it ever again!
I’m definitely going to check out those must-read books you suggested. And I get very very nervous suggesting a book to someone, so I am very careful about recommending books. There are a handful of people I know well enough that I can recommend books to them. But I always worry they will dislike the book and then I feel like I owe them the hours they spent reading the book back! I think we are pretty book twin’ish. Not total overlap but very very close. So maybe we are Irish Twins. I, too, prefer character driven books over plot driven, and I do not like sci fi or dystopian books in general. I did like Station Eleven but I didn’t LOVE it like other people do.
WE ARE IRISH TWINS OMG!!! I totally understand your feeling, of recommending a book that someone ends up hating. I feel this! I also feel your comment about “how do you read so much.” Sometimes, not often but SOMETIMES there is a *tone* involved, that implies that maybe I’m not as busy or am neglecting some aspect of my life…well, I’m not super busy these days but still! As they say in Austen books, I understand you completely.
I hope you enjoy that book! He gave me two books, neither of which I had heard of, and I am so impressed by his thoughtfulness!
I haven’t read Where the Crawdads Sing because there is a really icky controversy around the author and her husband that I found out about before reading, but several people in my book bingo group didn’t love it either, although man, it is popular. And you know my thoughts on Jodi Picoult. You and I have a very small overlapping part of our reading taste Venn diagram, which is not unusual for me and reading friends – I think maybe I’m a weird reader. Oh, and Eve once picked out a book for me at random for Christmas at her school Christmas bazaar when she was about seven, and it was magically one on my reading list.
Oooh I did not know about this controversy! Perhaps I should google!
We do have a small overlap but as I mentioned to Suzanne, you and she are people who I like to look at recommendations because you often read outside the genres that I read, and I like to expand my horizons with your suggestions!
Tell me when your first book is ready and I AM ALL OVER THE PREORDER, my friend.
I was also, Meh about Where the Crawdads Sing, but I did really enjoy The Glass Castle and Educated (and by enjoy, I mean found them horrific, but very well written).
Gretchen Rubin is the ketchup to my French Fries. Her new book just went up for preorder today and I’m debating it, but only in lowercase letter. PREORDER in caps is reserved for when your first bestseller hits the shelves…
And I put a library hold on that book your son bought you for Christmas!
The ketchup to your French fries! I love that saying!! I can understand so much how she resonates for you.
Your kind words really lift me up! Thank you!
I did read Crawdads (and watched it too) because it was my book club’s choice. I didn’t love it but not because of the controversy that Allison mentions instead I had a very difficult time believing that a 6 (7?) year old left on her own in a swamp would think so clearly and calmly as the character was written. I work with students all day and I can promise none of them would be thinking in such a clear manner about this plant and that plant and this shellfish and that shellfish. It was like the author had never met a child before. Which, surprisingly, is a common thought of mine when reading from the POV of children.
I enjoy your book recommendations on Instagram even if dystopia is my favourite genre and you don’t like it. 🙂
OMG YES MARILYN!!! I thought that too! It was just…not realistic at all, not that I expect books to be realistic all the time but still. Maybe talk to a child prior to writing a book?
The great thing is we can share books and never fight because you can have ALL the dystopia!
I’m blown away that you read two books a week, that is amazing. My daughter maybe does that too, via audible. She listens when she’s working and doesn’t have to concentrate. I listen to a lot of books, but not as many. I guess my job requires more concentration, or I am just not as good at multi-tasking as she is.
I hated Hillbilly Elegy and My Sisters Keeper for completely different reasons, but they were both very popular.
Oh, I have heard of Hillbilly Elegy, haven’t read it though! I read My Sister’s Keeper, and yeah. Agree.
“I am careful to say that I loved a book, without a recommendation. It’s so personal, isn’t it, what resonates with a reader?” SO MUCH THIS. I read a lot, but rarely recommend, and if I do, it’s clearly an “I liked this” but not a “therefore you will like this.”
And a few times, people have recommended books to me and when I’ve read them, I have just been puzzled. Why? This? Me? Recommendations are a minefield to me, coming and going.
I totally understand! It is a minefield!
If you do write a book, I’ll be the first in line to purchase it! In the meantime, I’m very grateful that you write your blog.
I agree with so many of your book opinions (No Jodi Picoult for me!) and I also love books that are character driven. One of my favorite series is The Ladies’ No. 1 Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith. Yes, a man, but the books are so lovely.
I’ve heard a lot about those books but have never read them! Maybe I’ll give them a try!
I agree with all of the books you don’t like that EVERYONE else does and would also add The Maid– I hate when autism is shorthanded that way.
Gosh, what a treat that you mentioned me here and answered my question. HI! And, thank you so much. I’m intrigued by the concept of self-care practices. Mine include drinking tea, snuggling my cats, and a daily walk. I used to knit a fair amount, but that has fallen by the wayside. My oldest daughter reads like you do and, although I’m not sure she’d think of it as a self-care practice, I think it is. I love reading all of your book reviews. I’ve made some notes! Take care.
Oh yes, I love a daily walk! And if we substitute tea for coffee, and cats for giant dog, then we are the same! Thanks for your question and for reading! I have a couple of good books coming up next week! Take care and have a good weekend.
Ooh, thank you for answering my question! Even though almost all of the books/authors you mention are ones I really like, haha. We read Educated for book club the year it came out and there were divisive opinions about it, but I really liked it. What an awful childhood! I’m also a Kristin Hannah superfan, even though she writes tragedy porn. I just can’t get enough of it! But not every book is for every reader, and that’s the beauty of reading. 🙂
Haha! Well, you’re right, that’s the beauty of reading – we all can like different things! There’s something for everyone!
155 books. WOW!
I’m really trying to read more this year, (less screen time will help!) and I appreciate all of your reviews.
I just added Your Body, YBF to my list.
Thank you!!
Oh, I hope you love it!
I love that you are not afraid to say when “hyped up things” are not for you…. I told you that I am with you Gretchen Rubin’s book and I felt similarly about some other books you mentioned (e.g. Educated and Station Eleven)…. everybody seemed to love these books and I was just like “what is so great about them”? LOL
I always feel a little weird when I don’t like something that everyone else does, like, did I miss something?