I have been doing a massive house decluttering and purge, using a technique I learned from Apartment Therapy: choosing one small area and setting a timer for 15 minutes. It is extremely effective; I find that the less time I have to wonder do we need this item, the more efficient I am at letting go. Granted, I found three full drawers of user manuals for appliances that we no longer own, so letting go is not really so difficult.
Other than the defunct user manuals, there are many items that I feel could be of some use to someone else, and so I have been sorting things into various donation piles. The Kidney Foundation had, most fortuitously, called to see if I had any donations of clothing or household items, and I accepted their offer with more enthusiasm than I think the telephone caller had anticipated. I do think they are a worthy cause, but I think that the best way to donate items, both from an environmental and a community-minded standpoint, is through our neighbourhood Buy Nothing page. I envisioned giving as much as I could away to the community, and then bagging up the rest for the Kidney Foundation pickup.
At this point, I am ready to just set fire to everything.
Donating things through Buy Nothing, while very worthy, is just so much work. I have noticed that, while there are great people who are excited to take my old books and DVDs, and who schedule a time to pick up and actually pick up at that time, there are also those who make me wonder what I’m doing with my one wild and precious life. Almost always there will be someone who gives an enormous window for pickup – I’ll be there between noon and 9 pm on Wednesday – and then doesn’t pick it up for days, leaving me to wonder if I should ask if someone else wants it, or should I leave it on the step, and is it okay for things to sit out in below-freezing temperatures for days at a time? About a eighteen months ago I had gifted a number of cleaning products to a woman in the group who then didn’t pick them up for two weeks; I had messaged her a number of times, only to get the answer that she’d “be there tomorrow.” At the end of two weeks, my sister-in-law had stopped by to drop off Girl Guide cookies – I have to support my nieces! A case of cookies is not too much! – and I ended up giving her the bag of Lysol wipes and such. Two days after that the original woman messaged me to ask if she could come and get them that evening, and I was so irritated I ghosted her. That was probably rude on my part, but what can I say, it was in the thick of the pandemic, and my patience for such things was wearing thin.
In any case, things are slowly making their way out of my house, with the exception of some of my old textbooks, which according to the city’s website are only fit for the recycle bin. No one wants outdated textbooks for any reason, in any capacity, so there go my myriad economics and finance textbooks from the nineties. But why? Surely someone out there is looking for Varian’s Microeconomic Analysis, Third Edition, 1992. Or a twenty-five-year-old copy of Adjusting To Volatile Energy Prices. I am having a small crisis about the environmental impact of a small amount of broken toys that are heading for the landfill, but let’s move on.
As I clear out old detritus, this week I brought in many new items, in the manner of food. I am constantly amazed at the amount of groceries a mere four people go through in one week. A few weeks ago I was lamenting the apparent end of kalette season, but, thrillingly, it was NOT the end. It was a mere blip. Two girlfriends (HI JANET HI TRACY) had texted me to say that they had seen kalettes in the wild/ Costco’s refrigerated produce section, and so off to Costco I went. Dreams can come true!
When I saw the display I immediately got the song Dreams stuck in my head, and it stayed there for days. The problem with this song is that I really only know the chorus, along with the words I know what I want, and baby, it’s you, and so that was going through my head, over and over, on a loop. On my way home, I heard Anne Murray’s Snowbird on 70s on 7, and it reminded me of the show Sensitive Skin. Did you ever watch it? In the premiere, the husband was writing a piece on the cultural impact of Snowbird and for research purposes, listened to it on repeat for days on end, as he began to lose his mind. I could really see this happening to me, but with Dreams. Not that I’m listening to it on repeat, but my brain thinks I am.
I remember Sensitive Skin as being a really good show, but when I watched it I was 39, and my kids were 9 and 10. I think seeing it now, it would hit very differently: a middle-aged woman, empty nest, moving from her home in the suburbs to a downtown condo, aging mother, midlife crisis. At 39, I probably thought “Interesting!” and then moved on with my life. Or, “I like what she did with her hair.” These days, I would be more likely to dissolve in a puddle of mascara and tears and hot flashes.
Speaking of landsliding, my son finished his last exam on Friday, and so has this entire week off before starting his last semester of high school! In mere months, we will be out of the public school system! Just to add to the wow, time, feeling that I have, my thirty year high school reunion is coming up in June. I mentioned it to my dinner guests last weekend, who then asked if I was going to go it, and it turns out that I am actually kind of organizing it? I am not exactly sure how this happened, and I didn’t really need an extra project, but here we are.
Look at that sweet young thing! She had no idea that thirty years on, she would be wondering about reunion locations.
Weekly Reading
After last week’s fairly heavy and dark reads, this week was Very Mysterious.
The Accomplice. This book was mentioned by three friends – Suzanne, Engie, and Allison (HI SUZANNE HI ENGIE HI ALLISON) – and their synopses made me think it looked interesting. It was very fun to read! I so rarely pick up mysteries, but when I do, I enjoy them. This book had everything: ride-or-die friendship, murder, extramarital affairs, romance, greedy stepfathers, and hilariously nosy neighbours! A fun read that kept me up past my bedtime (by ten minutes but STILL).
Death on the Nile. Would you believe I had never read an Agatha Christie in my life? It’s true! I saw this at the library and thought, maybe I should get on that train. After all, Agatha Christie is kind of a big deal. I have a very soft spot for Egypt, having travelled there twenty-three years ago, AND I cruised down the Nile, albeit in a less-fancy way than the characters in this book.
No one got murdered on that cruise, that I know of.
At some point in my life I realized that I no longer associated myself with the beautiful young protagonist, and instead, found myself in sympathy with the motherly characters. See also: no longer a Handmaid, more like a Wife. Or Martha. Anyway, in this book there is one character who is described as an older, grey-haired woman. She’s 50. I mean, in the absence of hair colour that character is the closest to me, but it cracks me up that what we see as middle-aged was seen as quite advanced, back in the 1930s. Speaking of 1930s, there is some objectional language describing the Egyptian people, which is not unusual for a book from a British author in 1937, but should be noted. All in all, I really enjoyed this book – it was very entertaining.
The Lifeguards. This was a decent thriller/ mystery about three friends that have three sons who are also friends, and who come across a dead body. There are secrets, and a twist I did not at all see coming, but the ending was not very satisfying to me. Questions, I have them! But I did like it – not love it – it was just fine! Three mysteries in one week, who am I?
So it’s been a mystery-filled, decluttering-filled, kalette-filled week in the Boyhouse. What will this week bring? I hope it brings you lots of happiness. xo
I ad to clear everything that could move out of the kitchen because we’re having some work done (fixing some damage from when the tree fell on our house last spring) and I am amazed at how much bigger my tiny kitchen looks without all the appliances, etc on the counters. Of course, I will have to put it back when they’re done, but maybe I can do it in a more orderly way.
Oooh a forced reorganization! I think if I took out all my appliances my kitchen would seem very open! But, I need them so…
You are very noble to be donating to the Buy Nothing group. That type of thing is what puts me over the edge. It’s hard enough to declutter the house- i usually just bring everything to Goodwill. I agree it’s probably not the best thing I could be doing (a lot of it probably ends up in their dumpster) but if I don’t do that, the things might sit in my garage forever.
That’s funny you seem to be organizing your high school reunion! That’s my worst nightmare- but I’m pretty sure you’re up to the task.
I LOVED Agatha Christie growing up, and Death on the Nile is a good one. It’s definitely dated though, and I have noticed when I re-read them that characters my age are practically considered elderly. Hurumph!
Well, that’s the thing – once it’s out of my hands I can’t control where it goes (hopefully not the dumpster, but…)
HI NICOLE! Look at all your mystery and thriller reading! I think I read Death on the Nile this past year and found it… I don’t know. Not my favorite Christie, I guess. And it is very eyebrow raising to read some of the terminology that was more commonly used back then. Yuck.
Love the pictures of baby Nicole! So beautiful even then. But I hope that you find many ways to delegate the planning of your reunion. Or that it’s an easy going crowd would meet in the back of an Applebee’s or something that requires little fuss.
Your decluttering expedition sounds excellent. I say with extreme wistfulness, as I gaze at my daughter’s craft area/explosion zone from my treadmill. Sigh.
Oh, it will be a pretty easygoing crowd, and the nice thing is that I can pick a location that is convenient for me. I AM DRUNK WITH POWER.
The language was very eyebrow raising, BUT, I do have to remember it was the time. But also, yuck.
I currently have something sitting on my porch that someone from Buy Nothing was supposed to pick up “tomorrow” 3 days ago. I used to be an admin for my local group and was very into it, but unfortunately like a lot of things online it has passed its prime. There are nearly 1,000 people in my group, so every item has so much competition, and then most of the time when you gift an item, the person never shows up. I’ve started donating to my local thrift store instead, as much as I can.
January must be mysteries and decluttering time! I’ve read everything Lisa Lutz has ever written, besides this most recent book. I’m glad you liked it!
I think that’s probably the problem, Sarah, our group has gotten really big. At the beginning of the pandemic things were flying off my porch, and now, I keep bumping posts just so someone will say if they want children’s stickers or a pair of shoes.
Teen Nicole looks like someone from a John Hughes movie… so cool!!
A friend took me to Costco the day you mentioned the kalettes, and I looked for them (to no avail). And I joined our local buy nothing group after you tipped me off about it. Some of the posts on our page are pretty heartbreaking…
Yes, there are a few people on my group that I will reach out to directly or will always gift to because I know their circumstances.
Teen Nicole LOVED her hot rollers! As you can see!
Also, did you ever see this tik tok of this guy singing “Dreams?” https://www.tiktok.com/@420doggface208/video/7011913586482105605?lang=en
I was so surprised to recognize him in a show (Reservation Dogs) from the 23 seconds of watching him on this!
That’s so fun!
Look at younger you! Beautiful.❤️
I would have been irritated if someone had not picked up their stuff too. When I was on Facebook, I used to sell a lot of things through Marketplace, and it irritated me when people would say they were coming to get something and then never showed up. It’s as simple as a text message.😒
YES. WERE THESE PEOPLE RAISED BY WOLVES???
I thought of you when I was looking through my old photos. Thought you might enjoy!
I usually do The January Cure by Apartment Therapy every year. This year I am completely ignoring the emails. I don’t know what I was thinking signing up for them. Maybe I will do them later in the year. I came into the year with new year energy but it did not apply to organizing my home I guess? But I will say Will at 2 is giving us a run for our money so my home energy is depleted!!
I have only read one Agatha Christie book and I kind of hated it! It was Murder on the Orient Express. It was made into a movie recently so I thought I’d read the book and then watch the movie but then I disliked the book so much that I didn’t want to watch the movie!
Look at young Nicole! This year is my 20th college reunion. I am hoping to get together with some of the girls I went to college with. I have never and will never attend a high school reunion, though! I do not have fond memories of that time AT ALL! There were only 28 people in my class and I was an outcast for being unathletic, nerdy and into things like speech/drama/music/etc. But I happy that others had experiences that make them want to go to their reunion!
Aw, I’m sorry your high school experience was so rough. That sounds awful. I went to a smaller high school but everyone was pretty cool, and our 20th reunion was really fun.
I am doing the January Cure, but I’m going a bit off-script with it. It is motivating though. Then again, I do not have a two-year-old!
Before I moved, five years ago, I gave away a lot on my local buy nothing and freecycle groups, and while sometimes it led to a good feeling of getting something to someone who could really use it, very often it was the sort of frustration you describe. And you really can’t please everyone; I literally had someone complaining about me giving things to the first person who asked, because they weren’t seeing my listings the minute they got up, and honey, I am doing this to get things out of the house. I don’t have time to make things “fair” to everyone, if that were even possible.
I did have someone who wanted my finished-but-never-framed cross-stitch of the Irish blessing, because it reminded her of her father, and she said she was going to frame it and put it up to remind her of him. That’s probably my best memory of all that.
Oh! I have seen that particular complaint, that someone gives away an item too quickly. Um, it’s a free item. I think the giver should be able to do what they want!
That is really a nice story about the cross-stitch.
I love Old Skool Nicole photos. How fun! (I noticed the lack of Rex the Handsome. Ahem. Don’t think I didn’t.)
I think you would enjoy the Spellman books by Lisa Lutz if you have not already read them. They are brilliantly funny.
My husband would murderize me if I gave people our address to pick stuff up, so whenever I use Buy Nothing or Craig’s List or whatever, I have to meet them at the police station and sometimes I’m sitting there wondering if the 15-minute rule applies for people standing you up to pick up free nonsense. I’ve almost entirely stopped doing it in favor of simply donating to Goodwill or the Humane Society.
OMG. I cannot imagine having to go out and meet people to give them free stuff. I just cannot imagine the logistics. The best thing about Buy Nothing is that during the pandemic it became “contactless porch pickup” which suits me fine, but I guess could really allow for weirdos to come to my door…
I did a lot of decluttering before Christmas – maybe it was back in November. The spaces I organized were in dire need of attention and it gave me such satisfaction. The ‘coming tomorrow’ thing would drive me nuts. I laughed that you wanted to set fire to all of it. I see you, Nicole.
I sometimes beg Coach to get rid of some of his old physical therapy textbooks. Everything is online and in journals that he also saves, and besides – he already KNOWS everything.
My 30 year college reunion is in June and I plan to attend. Good luck with the planning of your high school reunion. That sounds like work. High school Nicole is so cute.
I have so many yoga books as well and you are right – everything is online! But I guess we have attachments to stuff (says the woman who saved her old calculus text)
LOVED The Lifeguards, and I used to be a Christie junkie as a kid and recently read it again. Such a weird habit for a little midwestern girl to develop in the 4th grade, but here I am. We have a really great service that will come get all of your uncategorized stuff and either donate, recycle, or toss depending on rules, etc. I am sloooooowly making a pile with a goal to hire them in the spring, but clearing clutter is my least favorite job.
Wow, what a great service! I wonder if we have anything like that here.
That is so cute that you were into Christie as a fourth grader!! I love it!
I enjoy getting rid of household items in a responsible manner, but it does take effort. Around here we have St. Vincent de Paul who’ll come to the house, but after that it’s up to you to get the stuff to its new place. I like your photo from high school graduation. That color of blue looked great on you. My high school robe was a dreadful shade of red, still a little bitter about that. I looked awful.
Red seems like a very bold choice for a gown – blue seems to flatter more people, I think! And thank you very much for the sweet compliment!
I’m intrigued by the St Vincent de Paul – do they just come and pick up old things?
Around here they do BUT they reserve the right to refuse to take you items. SO you call, tell them the furniture and household items you have, THEN at an assigned time of a particular day the truck arrives and you may [or may not] have your items removed from your house. The process requires a certain amount of finesse.
I recently had a surge of energy and used it to take a bunch of stuff UP to the loft and a bunch of stuff DOWN from the loft. And I had that same mix of Buy Nothing experiences with the stuff I brought down: some extremely snappy and satisfying pick-ups (and in fact, my surge of energy happened because someone on Buy Nothing asked for king-sized bedding and I thought of the box of extra bedding we NEVER UNPACKED when we moved four years ago—and in a few hours it was OUT OF MY LIFE), but then also several of those very frustrating no-shows. I am giving things away for free! I offered them and several people wanted them, so I am not forcing anything on anyone; why is it then so much work/effort to coordinate this? And in one case, someone said they would come, and I put out the item, and they did not come, and I was away and there was rain, and the item was ruined. So it was WORSE than if I’d just thrown it away or given it to Goodwill.
Well. Anyway, the real reason I am here is to share a decluttering tip my mom told me had recently been helpful to her: “Would I save this in a fire?” It is, as with all decluttering tips, not helpful for all items (in fact, I have MANY MANY MANY items that I would not save in a fire and yet certainly still want to keep, such as most of my clothes/shoes), and for some of us might result in stress dreams about saving things from fires; but it is a good one for, like, things where I am only keeping them because I feel they SHOULD be important to me—and those are often the items where I am standing there agonizing over it.
I feel you on the rain and the ruined item, except for me it was snow and freezing temps. I mean. If you aren’t coming to get this free thing that many people wanted, just…why.
Saving in a fire, this is a very good thing to think about! Thanks!
Oof I would never purge anything if I had to schedule Buy Nothing pick ups. If it can’t go to Goodwill it’s going on the curb with a “free” sign. But still it is a great feeling to get rid of stuff.
I was catching up with a former coworker over the weekend, and when I first met him years ago he mentioned that he was born in 1993 and the joke at the time was that we were “high school” years apart in age. In our chat he said that he was turning 30 this year and I came back at him with “oh thanks for reminding me that I graduated from high school 30 years ago”. Yep, time flies.
Books…I loved The Accomplice dearly and picked up another Lisa Lutz book for my current read. I read most of the Agatha Christie’s beginning in middle school so she’s an old favorite. If I had to pick just one it would be And Then There Were None.
It is SUCH a hassle, giving things away. Let’s say you post a photo of a group of books. Then someone says they want x book but not y book, and then three people want z book, and you have to keep it all straight who is getting what and when they are picking up and then they don’t pick up and…
Yay, you and are are the same HS grad year! My son has And Then There Were None and he has loaned it to me – I haven’t got to it yet though.
So many thoughts — Similar frustrating experiences with Buy Nothing. That group was one of the few things keeping me on Facebook, but in the end, it wasn’t enough and I cancelled my FB account. I love the idea of Buy Nothing and sometimes it works wonderfully, but … For me, it was 50-50 if someone would want what I was offering and then 50-50 if that person would show up to get it. It became too much work. I wondered if part of the problem is that I live in a rural area and, to get enough people in the group, the geographical area it covers is big. I’ve wondered if the group works better in cities?
I also still have a few college texts — my beloved Anthropology ones. I don’t know why. They sit in my attic. I know there’s nothing to do but recycle them, and yet.
Enjoy your reunion planning! I’m at the other end of that in that I have never attended a single one. I couldn’t imagine doing so. Although I just did the math — it’s been 35 years since I finished high school. Excuse me while I go figure out where all that time went.
Think I’ll try the Lisa Lutz book — I enjoy a good thriller/mystery.
Take care!
I did keep a few of my texts that I just couldn’t bear to part with, even though it’s unlikely I will ever again need to do linear algebra. Who can say, the heart wants what it wants.
I remember working with a man who said he was going to his 30th high school reunion and I thought (at age 24) WOW, THAT’S SO OLD. Well. Here we are! My 20th (which I also helped organized, but wasn’t the key organizer) was a blast, so I’m excited. And kind of tired, thinking about it!
I know what you mean about old textbooks. How could they have been so expensive when we had to buy them, and then completely worthless after college. It’s crazy! I finally got rid of all my old textbooks too, which felt really good!
The expense, my goodness. I remember thinking it was lucky if a class called for less than $100 worth of texts. And the resale value even back then wasn’t great because there were always new editions coming out, that a professor would require.
“I envisioned giving as much as I could away to the community, and then bagging up the rest for the Kidney Foundation pickup.
At this point, I am ready to just set fire to everything.”
Too funny, Nicole, because it is SO TRUE. You expect some hassles with selling an item on, say, Kijiji, but donating items should not be so complicated.
Sometimes the solution is simple – I have various people who want any hand-me-downs that are not in tatters when my kids outgrow their clothes. I usually start by texting pictures of things I think might be wanted by very specific people to those very specific people. If they say no, I almost always donate to a place like the Diabetes Association or Valu Village. Not as ideal as Buy Nothing pages, but so much faster!
Yes, this is exactly right! Sometimes I will have people who I know would like an item, and I’ll approach them directly, but WHY is it so hard to give away things on Buy Nothing!
The thought of the Buy Nothing/Freecycle is lovely – but completely impractical for me. I do not have the time, nor the desire, to spend on that. When I declutter – just about everything goes to Goodwill. I am careful to make sure that whatever I send is in good, usable condition though. Any old, outdated hazardous material (e-waste, paint, etc.) goes to the Hazardous Waste recycling place – which is NOT convenient and that explains the two boxes sitting in my garage waiting to be taken.
Oh yes – *side eyes cans of paint in the basement*
Oh gosh, I have had the desire to burn my house down due to clutter and just too much crap SO MANY TIMES. Last year I did a project where every weekend I would pick one area (cupboard, closet, drawer, whatever) and clean it out. I gave a lot of stuff away on our local Buy Nothing group. I suspect I am going to need to do this again and again. I’ve given away hot dog buns there, usually there are people who need or want almost anything. If I had someone not come for weeks, though, I would give it to someone else, for sure.
J, I find that some people are very much in need and for those people I have all the time in the world. I have also had people take food (opened, even) and toiletry products. That’s what makes me go back to the Buy Nothing, although it is SO frustrating!
I have never heard of Buy Nothing and am going to go and check it out as soon as I finish this comment. I usually take my stuff to Salvation Army; they will take everything, whereas Goodwill is very picky! I have had GW say no to several perfectly good, working, not old items. However SA is happy to take it and they are way more pleasant as humans (the GW people sometimes scoff at you a bit as if they are too busy or your stuff is not good enough). I have gotten rid of so much stuff over the years but I feel like even though I don’t buy much, the pile never gets smaller, so I get what you mean about burning it down!
30 years! Woof! I am right behind you girl. However, I got swindled into organizing the 10 year and it was not very fun to do. This was of course before Facebook was really that big so we had to call around to parents and stuff to try to get information about people in order to email them. Can you imagine!? I did also help organize the 20 year (fool me twice?), but the turnout was poor and people from town crashed it because they did not want to pay the $35 cover…and I definitely AM NOT organizing the 30 year (and I feel like nobody else will either). Please remind me that I said this when they ask me again to help.
Kyria, I helped organize my 20 year too! Twins! Here’s the thing, as you say “no one else will either.” This is exactly the problem. I would remind you of this but I have a feeling that you are like me and you might just end up being the organizer! Good luck!
I didn’t know SA was so choosy when it came to donations!
I’m so mad that I can’t get Kalettes here; apparently they’re just a Canadian thing? NOT FAIR.
I agree with you on the buy nothing/ freebie sites on FB. People can be so freaking wishy washy. Can you imagine if you lived your life like that?
Yay for your reunion. I love your graduation pic and the one of you not being murdered while cruising the Nile.
Lololol I was just chilling out on the deck chair, not being murdered or trying to solve a murder…
I’d say that you should come to visit to have some kalettes, but kalette season is Nov-Jan, and I think you might die in our winter!
I love a good decluttering spree! It’s one of the reasons I love moving, haha. I love being forced to declutter my space and put everything in boxes. I will say that I just drop everything in trash bags and bring it over to Goodwill. I cannot deal with Facebook. There’s a Goodwill 3 minutes away and they have curbside drop-off and it’s SO DANG CONVENIENT.
Baby Nicole!! What a babe!
Stephany, I love your blog and I try to comment all the time, it never allows me for some reason! <3
Oh noooo, this breaks my heart! I wonder if anyone else is having trouble commenting. Can you let me know what error message you’re getting when you try to comment? I’m so sorry you’re having issues!
Oh, that is so convenient! Facebook can be so difficult!
There seems to be a real trend of turning to mystery reads in cold weather… I know Kelsey has mentioned it on The Girl Next Door, and Cal Newport too.
Way to go on the decluttering… I’m with you on that stage of just wanting to set fire to it all. I sometimes fantasise about a completely empty house and every item being scrutinised before being allowed back in. Even the family, at times 😉
Hahahaha! I have to say I keep looking at the corner where I had all the bags and boxes – they are gone now – with EXTREME satisfaction!
Whatever happened to common courtesy. I am also trying to get rid off stuff and I am so reluctant to even offer it locally for free because of people not following through… what a HASSLE. I don’t blame you for ghosting that lady one bit. How rude.
On the matter of age, as you know my aunt just passed away. She was 61 … and it got me thinking what 61 looked like 40 years ago (when my grandma died at the same age). Granted, I was 6 and probably most people seemed “old” to me, but even if I look at a picture of her now, she was so much “older” than my aunt (or my parents) were at 61. It’s quite odd.
Oh my goodness, 61 is so young. How very sad. But you are right – 61 when we were kids did “look” older than it does now.