Here’s Your One Chance, Fancy, Don’t Let Me Down. Back in September 2020, when the kids first went back to in-person school after lockdown, my younger son told me that just walking through the halls and being around so many people made him really happy. I had that same feeling on Friday when my husband and I went to his company holiday party. I couldn’t stop smiling, just seeing other people all dressed up and looking universally beautiful. We are at a PARTY, I kept thinking, a HOLIDAY PARTY and everyone is DRESSED UP. I have no idea if this feeling of abject delight and wonder is going to continue throughout my life, but I hope it does.
It was so much fun, even if I am so unused to wearing heels that my feet were crying by the end of the night. What are you doing to me, where are our comfy shoes, what is happening right now.
We stayed at the party until TEN THIRTY PM and I wasn’t in bed until an hour later, and did you even know there was an 11:30 AT NIGHT? There is! I had prepared for this exciting and unheard of bout of wildness by doing two things I never do normally: I had a nap in the afternoon, and then I had a strong, caffeinated chai at 4:00 pm. WHEEEEEEE!
Last week I had invited all of you, my dear readers, to Ask Me Literally Anything, and I have had so many great questions that I will be answering in the coming weeks. My wild Friday night brings me to a question Pat (HI PAT) raised: I, like everyone else, am fascinated by you 4 a.m. wakeup. When you are on vacation, perhaps at your parents place, your lake house or a sunny destination, do you alter your schedule a bit? Maybe stay up till 9:30 and get up at 5? Well, Pat, on weekends I do sometimes sleep until 6 if I can! One thing about me is that my body seems to have a natural wakeup in the hour between 4 and 5, but on weekends or holidays I can usually lull myself back to sleep for another hour or two. I do try to stay up later when we are on vacation or visiting my parents, because it’s a bit ridiculous to go to bed at 8:30 when everyone is having fun and playing games. I thought maybe I could sleep in a bit this Saturday morning, but my son had a wrestling tournament and needed to be up by six, and although he drove himself to the school and is perfectly capable of getting through his own morning routine without his mother, I was still awake and drinking coffee by 6:05. You know how it goes, people.
And You May Ask Yourself, How Did I Get Here? I will be keeping the form open, mostly because I don’t know how to close it, so ask any questions you like. On the other hand, if you’re thinking really, I already know too much, that is cool too.
One question I did want to address came not from the form but from multiple comments about my Day in the Life post, with regards to teaching and practicing yoga. Some readers expressed surprise that I would practice yoga and then teach yoga in the same day, but those things are very separate to me. My personal yoga practice is a moving meditation, where I flow through postures – the Ashtanga primary series, with some additions and subtractions – doing breath work and ending with a nice savasana. I get on the mat every single day, even if it’s just a five minute seated meditation; I don’t feel like myself if I don’t practice. Teaching, on the other hand, is a different story: it’s work. I mean, it is fun work, and it is work that I enjoy, but it is work nonetheless. I am always “on,” and talking, and watching my students for cues that something is working or not working for them. I don’t focus on my own breathing, and it is not meditative in the least, because I am generally thinking of what posture we are going into next and how to include variations for students with a variety of old injuries and concerns.
I have been teaching many of my current students since 2017, so I have a good relationship with all of them, which I especially appreciated on Monday afternoon, when I was teaching my Strength and Tone ladies. We were in the middle of a downward dog when suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, my nose started bleeding, like that of a long-term cocaine addict. Such a thing has never happened to me before while teaching, and I hope it never happens again. When I say my nose started bleeding, I don’t mean a little trickle. I mean that I had to pause the class and it took TEN MINUTES to get things under control. Ten minutes is a very long time to be stanching a nose bleed, let me tell you. Fortunately my students are very kind and understanding, and were willing to independently use my tennis balls for some myofascial release at the wall while I went through every single tissue I had in my purse, and half the scratchy, recycled material paper towels that the community centre had next to the sink. I give my students homemade chocolates every year at Christmas, and I may have dropped a few extras in for these ladies, to thank them for their patience with my dramatically bleeding nose.
This Year, To Save Me From Tears, I’ll Give It To Someone Special. Last week I was having couple of down days; I felt mired in anxiety and worry about my children and their immediate and long-term futures, myself and my ability to handle Life’s Next Chapter, and also drooping sadness because it felt like everyone I was encountering was somehow yucking my yums. Normally I am a Que Sera, Sera Person, moving through life thinking we are doing our best, things will work out in the end, all will be well, and not being overly concerned if people don’t share my feelings about silly and fun things, but I just couldn’t shake my gloom. Part of this may have been due to the fact that I was short on sleep: one of the CO detectors’ battery died in the very early hours, waking me up with its incessant chirping even earlier than normal, and also that my Garmin was telling me that “it’s almost that time again!” which generally affects my sleep as well, in addition to my mood in general. I didn’t really need the reminder from my Garmin. My feelings of despair towards humanity were reminder enough, not to mention my giant swollen breasts that were spilling out of all of my yoga tanks.
My very dear friend Hannah who I love very much (HI HANNAH) somehow knew how I was feeling and sent me this, while I was standing in line at the post office, which in itself contributes to angst and despair:
It immediately turned my mood around; it made me so happy, and feel so seen. On days that I don’t get enough Last Christmas, I have been pulling out my sheet music and playing it on the piano. I am enjoying the fuck out of it.
Then, I came home to open a package sent to me by my dear friend Elise (HI ELISE), and I think I may have blacked out with excitement for a moment when I opened it.
Longtime readers will remember my obsession with the Sears Wish Book, and you just cannot even begin to imagine how exciting this was to receive in the mail. How did I get so lucky, to have such incredible friends? What an incredible gift! Thanks Elise!
This One’s For Becky. Back to the subject of music, I was driving home from the grocery store, listening to 70s on 7 – HI SUZ, the only other person I know who listens to that station – and Coward of the County came on. Let me just say that a) my parents were big Kenny Rogers fans, and b) I know the lyrics to almost every song I was exposed to more than once from my very young childhood to today, which means that probably 90% of my brain is song lyrics. If I could free up my brain power from remembering all these lyrics, I could probably cure cancer or something. Anyway, I hadn’t heard Coward of the County for many years but I still cheerfully sang along. Wow, that is one upbeat tune, given the grim nature of the song. Gang rape! Murder leading to lifetime incarceration! Generational trauma! I remember singing this song as a small child, which is unsettling to think of. Small Nicole, with her little bowl cut and her 70s clothing, singing Folks just called him Yellow! Son, you don’t have to fight to be a man.
I was likely singing and/ or talking in this photo, but it’s unlikely it was Coward of the County. Probably it was a Christmas song, or maybe just a stream of consciousness about the ornaments. Who can say.
Weekly Reading
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. This seems like a bit of a morbid topic – the death/ mortuary/ funeral industry – but it is actually quite beautiful in a weird way, about honouring dead bodies and death rituals. I have always wondered about things like expensive caskets and the like, in a WHY kind of way. This was fascinating but not for the squeamish! One of my nephews is interested in pursuing a career in this industry, and reading it helped me understand the motivation.
Thanks For Waiting. This was an interesting concept for a memoir, from the cohost of Forever 35, one of my favourite podcasts. Shafrir talks about being a “late-bloomer,” achieving all those life milestones much later than all her peers, from tweenhood on. It goes from life as a writer in mice-infested NYC apartments, to living and dating in LA, to marriage and the incredible heartache of infertility treatments. It’s incredibly honest and brave, and I could hear her voice as I read this.
The Holiday Breakdown. You know I love a holiday romance, and this was just so delightful and fun. I smiled the whole time I was reading this sweet story; the main character was so fun and charming. The author cohosts Were You Raised By Wolves (two podcast-host books in a row!) and I could feel her warm and delightful personality shining though.
I hope you have a lovely week ahead of you. Maybe some festivities, as well? If you have some Heel Worthy Events, may I suggest some prophylactical Advil? That is, if you can get it. xo
Fancy, dressed up Nicole is fabulous–no surprise. Love the arm strength and definition! Bless your friends–Ginger’s moment of self-awareness and the WhamHunter posters cracked me up. Nice threads, nice reads (putting the Shafrir on my list)! xoxo
Thank you so much, Maya! It was fun to get dressed up. That’s my favourite dress and I wear it so rarely.
Ginger made me laugh so much. Poor Ginger!
The holiday party sounds so fun. Back when I worked AR a bank, I attended a fancy party like that. Coach’s PT clinic is casual at everything. That’s fine, but I occasionally like to get dressed up.
The nosebleed. Yikes. My brother and I suffered regular nosebleeds as kids. Unpredictable and time consuming.
Love your commitment to WHAM challenge. Glad that helped lift your spirits. Feeling blue is the pits.
Unpredictable and time consuming – this is it exactly. I mean, nothing can really prepare you for a nosebleed, and sometimes it takes a long time to get them under control!
Ah, you Whamhunter! How is that song so wildly popular??? Even my own sister betrayed me on this one. Well, I’m glad it’s making you happy! I would imagine you’re in contention for first prize in this game.
Teaching yoga seems really hard (even without any nosebleeds.) Your students are lucky to have you- when I took in-person yoga classes I never got any homemade chocolates!
Maybe Suzanne will get inspired by your festive attitude to the holiday party! Or, maybe you could pay her a visit to get her all dressed up and in the mood (this is after you visit us to help with my daughter’s hair, etc.) You looked amazing, and it sounds like a really fun event.
Teaching yoga is just like anything, it gets easier with practice! I do love it!
You look gorgeous! Your smile in the first picture is delightful. And that dress suits you perfectly.
It’s time for me to humbly apologize for yucking the yum of Last Christmas. It certainly isn’t one of my favourites, but it secretly delights me that it is such a HUGE yum for you. So please, listen to it an extra dozen times today for me. Glad you’re feeling better and I’m hoping for NO MORE NOSEBLEEDS – ever!!! Yikes. I’ve never had one, but they sound positively horrid, especially when teaching a yoga class with downward dog.
I LOVED When Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. Such a bizarre book to be so funny and engaging, but I was a big fan (full credit to NGS for pointing me to it)!
“an extra dozen times” – lololol okay! Will do! *listens 24 times*
I have class today and I have never thought to worry about getting a nosebleed before, but here I am.
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes was funnier than I thought it would be, and very thoughtful!
Oh, my friend, I’m sorry you were anxious. I understand how that feels. I hope you’re feeling better now.
Your students are lucky to have you. If only for your chocolate goodies. I KID. But truly, those look delicious.
That photo of you in the 80s brightened my day. I believe we should all share pictures of ourselves as children. It may heal all of our inner children. It made me feel much closer to you. ❤️
You looked beautiful for the holiday party. My husband’s company holiday party is always held in Iowa, where his company is headquartered. I never get to go because of our schedules and timing. So I’ll live vicariously through you. 😘
Oh, Kari, thank you. I love looking at details in old photos – the decor, the furniture, etc. It just feels so warm.
It was an anxious few days, you know how it goes. I’m feeling better now though.
I’m glad. 😘
You are just the cutest. I love your holiday party ensemble, and I am going to try very hard to channel your gratitude and happy energy when I (grudgingly) attend my husband’s work event.
The yoga practice/teaching explanation was really interesting to read, and makes a ton of sense.
A NOSEBLEED. That sounds… wild, Nicole. Your chocolatey thanks to your class looks beautiful and lovely.
And all your festive song references and photos and gifts make me so happy! Hoping that the low feeling has passed and stays gone.
A NOSEBLEED. Like, gushing nosebleed. If there is anything more awkward in the middle of class I’m not sure what it would be. Well, I better not tempt fate here.
You look beautiful in your holiday party outfit! I am glad you had such a fun time. It is really nice to be out and about doing things that were normal pre-2020. We really appreciate them so much more! I am missing my company’s holiday party this week since I’m traveling for work. But I’m not too upset about it as it’s not the most fun holiday work party? We used to have another one for a small subset of people and that was more fun but I guess it’s not happening this year.
I really liked Thanks for Waiting, too. I was a late bloomer, too, as I got married at 36 and had kids at 37 and 40. I didn’t have many role models in my life who were late bloomers, but I met a friend through blogging that married in her 30s so she was kind of a person I could talk to about being a later bloomer. It was hard at times to be so far behind my college friends in terms of life milestones and such, but overall I think it was to my benefit because I got a preview of what was to come and now I have all these people who have been in my shoes and can give me good advice and tell me what not to worry about, etc.
Oh Lisa, that book would have totally resonated with you! I have a few older friends who I can see my “future” through, if you know what I mean. It’s really interesting to have friends in different stages of life.
We missed the 2019 party due to illness and I was SO SAD AND RESENTFUL in December 2020, as it felt like I’d never dress up and go to a party ever again.
I’m glad you enjoyed your party. Staying up that late would be big for me, too, even though I don’t get up as early as you do.
“Coward of the County” is a bizarre song, I agree. One of the things that gets me about it is that the the whole population of this county has apparently given some consideration to the question of whom to give this designation. That’s a lot of people to have to agree on a rather strange question.
HAHAHAHAHAOMG STEPH. I am going to be laughing about this ALL DAY. How many people were IN this county??? EVERYONE considered him the coward of the county – everyone? Every single person? Surely there must be some dissenters. Lol, thanks for the laugh!
I can here the debate now: but what about Joe – remember that time he freaked out and ran away from a spider? Yeah and Frank got terrified by that raccoon in his backyard that time? Etc
“No, no, it’s got to go to Tommy over there. Remember him? His dad killed a guy, was in prison for life. He just died recently. For some reason Tommy WON’T fight, let’s call him Yellow.”
I mean, maybe it’s a very small county, but still…
Nicole, I thought we had come to an agreement that you would always post at least one superfluous photo of Rex. You look gorgeous and excited for your party, but surely Rex was also excited for a night on his own?!
This is the second time this week that I’ve wondered about the language of song. Is there a word to describe those songs that sound happy, but have dark lyrics? Like think about “Jump” by Van Halen or “Mr. Jones and Me”: by Counting Crows. Even your beloved “You Can Call Me Al” is all jazzy and fun, but is really about a guy questioning his own existence. Is there a word for this?!
Engie! The first photo, Rex is trying to paw my skirt! That was for you!
I don’t know if there is a word for that but YES, those songs! Some songs are just so sad. Might as well jump? No, Van Halen, we should be rolling with the punches 🙂
There is always so much to comment on in your posts!! I’ll try point form:
1. You look gorgeous in that black dress — your arm work is definitely paying off. We have two Christmas parties this year, finally after 3 years. Both are at our home so I can take off the heels and slip into slippers as the hours go by. The first was my extended family on Saturday, about 30 people This weekend is the friend event and we are expecting 35-40. I am so excited!
2. Nosebleeds are so annoying and so unexpected. Many years ago when I worked in corporate I was going through an external audit. I was standing behind the “never cracked a smile auditor” leaning over his shoulder and looking at a document he was questioning when my nose started bleeding and dripped on said document. No warning at all. I was embarrassed and apologetic as I tried to staunch the flow and wipe up blood. As I recall he just stared silently at me.
3. That pic of little girl Nicole is so cute; I love the expression on your face.
4. I was also obsessed with the Sears catalogue & spent hours poring over it, circling items and turning down corners.
Oh Pat, the nosebleed! Ahhhhh! How awkward!
Thank you so much for your kind words!
I used to circle things in the Sears catalogue as well!
You look very fancy! As for the nosebleeds, I started getting them a few years ago. I chalk it up to age-apparently skin thins as you age, including in your nose so you can get more nosebleeds. (Or some weird aging thing like that.) I never had them either until I was about 48! I found that it’s worse when I’ve been in a heated, dry room too long. Finally, have you ever read Stiff by Mary Roach? It’s another book that is death focused. Very educational but hilarious too. I mean laugh out loud funny. Try it or get it for your nephew.
Oh Laura, that makes sense! God, I hope this doesn’t happen in class again. Everything is heated and dry right now because it’s SO cold outside!
Someone else recommended Stiff; I haven’t read it but I will take it as a sign that I should!
Staying out until 10:30 is rough! But very appropriate for holiday parties (as far as I remember anyway).
I think we were early to leave, but it was so much fun!
Oh Nicole – you look so very fancy and elegant in your holiday finery! That dress suits you perfectly.
I haven’t heard Coward of the County in about a million years but if it came on the radio, I’d probably know just about all the words.
I’m sorry you had some down days – those kinds of days are hard. But I’m glad to hear you are feeling better.
Ooooh WE COULD KARAOKE IT TOGETHER
First of all, actual LOL at the emotional support dog meme because this is the expression my dog gives me when I hug her – clearly she is wondering how to get out of this gig as family snuggle pet.
You look lovely dressed up for the party! I relate to the heels thing deeply. I WFH for 2.5 years starting in March 2020 and when I went back to work I dove right into a two-week trial, which meant I went directly from wearing sweatpants and slippers every day to skirts, nylons, and heels and my body was like WTF is this crap? I had wardrobe whiplash. My feet were not happy with me. Thankfully trial is over and I have compromised with work pants, sweaters, and flats.
Finally, my brain is also completely full of lyrics from songs from the 70s and 80s and boy listening to some of those songs from the 70s again as an adult makes me wonder (for the 100th time) what on earth my parents were thinking. I just keep chalking everything up to “it was the 70s!” Gen X really needs to process some things…
I keep thinking “Maybe I should buy new heels” and then I whiplash to “But I wear them like once a year” but “MAYBE MORE COMFORTABLE SHOES WOULD BE NICE.”
The 70s were an interesting time!
I, too, have been glum. The weather is gray and yesterday my middle son turned 10, which has me feeling feelings. Then some other stuff I heard about in media has me questioning the redeemability of humanity when normally I, like you, am even keeled and positive.
So here’s this: https://photos.app.goo.gl/QdYxURmUcV2H8dgj9
I JUST BURST OUT LAUGHING. Thank you!
I’m so happy you got to go to your Christmas party. I love Last Christmas unabashedly, AND All I Want For Christmas is You, no retreat no surrender. And I sang Coward of the Country all the way through when I was unsuitably young also – wtf were our parents thinking.
I love the title Thanks For Waiting for that book. I also feel like a late bloomer in a lot of ways, which is why, no matter how hard some things are about aging, I don’t really wish to be young again.
Oh I love All I Want For Christmas Is You too! And Kelly Clarkson’s Underneath the Tree!
Look at you, all glamourous for a holiday party!! Your beaming smile made me smile too! I love your delight and enthusiasm for the Christmas season!
Thanks so much Michelle!
I’ve never heard of #whamhunter, only #whamageddon, where you try to avoid the song from Dec 1st to the 24th. Of course, it was played at my husband’s company party on December 2nd, so I didn’t make it very far this year. It was indeed fun to be around people who were dressed up, though! And I didn’t even THINK about COVID until later that evening, when my husband said, “I hope we don’t get COVID from that.” Sigh.
My step mom is retiring from being a yoga teacher this year. She has taught for something like 40 years, had her own studio, was involved in certifying Iyengar teachers, etc. Like you, she does yoga every day, and considers teaching to be an entirely different thing that practicing.
Your step mom sounds so cool! 40 years! That’s wonderful.
I had that same thought, about Covid! So far, so good, fingers crossed.
Yay for Fancy Festivities! You look ahhhhmaaaazinng! I’m so happy you had a fun night out even if your feet had to pay the price.
WAIT A MINUTE: PAT HAS A WEBSITE?
She leaves me some of the best comments!
Anyhoo, as I was reading each headline, I was like, Damn, that Nicole knows all the best song lyrics. Because I too speak/hear in song lyrics.
You won’t believe it, but a few months ago I heard Coward Of The County and I too was singing along (could it have been at the same time as you?) when II realized what a freaking sad, terrible story it was telling. Poor Becky!
I love the thought of doing the offsite of avoiding Whams’s Last Christmas; I mean what kind of world are we living in when people want to avoid JOY?
I’d probably poop my pants (or start a nose bleed) if someone gave me a Sears Catalog form the days or yore! SCORE.
Pat’s website was news to me too!!!
I love that you think and speak in song lyrics. What if we WERE listening to Coward of the County at the same time? After all, how often do they play it on 70s on 7? Well, probably pretty often, I don’t know.
Oh, those glum days are no fun; I’m glad you got out of it in time for your glam day! (See what I did there? LOL) You looked mahvelous, simply smashing — and what a lovely dress! And look at Rex, all like, “May I shake your hand, my dahling?” with his paw up to you! Love it!!
I miss my yoga classes sooo much! I wish I lived in your town/area and could be in your class! I just can’t seem to get motivated with online classes…sigh…
Rex is SO dignified! Ha!
I wish you were here too! I love my yoga classes and students, and I think it’s tricky with online classes, to keep that relationship going.
I love the pics of you dressed up for the holiday party! Your tree looks so pretty too!! We do white lights on our tree, which I do enjoy in our particular room/ with our other decorations, it feels like it fits best…. but I love the multi-colored lights, too! Growing up we always had sort of a fancier, formal tree in the upstairs living room, and then in the basement rec room (where we had Christmas Eve celebrations) we had a tree with fun multi-colored lights! 🙂
Oh, this tree is so fun – it’s pre-lit, and I can change the lights from white to coloured, and they can blink as well. So I like to switch it up depending on the day!
Nicole as you love everything gnome, I wanted to send you this link for a Christmas treat. https://www.itsalwaysautumn.com/easy-brownie-bite-gnomes.html. My sister in law made these for our family party last weekend and they are so cute! I’m making them for our friend party this weekend.
Those are adorable! I love it!
My friends and I play a different Wham “Last Christmas” game. Our is the opposite of yours. We try to not hear the song and whoever goes the longest without hearing it wins. I run with a more cynical crowd, I guess.
Ah, the “Whamageddon!” Last Christmas is one of my favourite songs so I like my game, because I’m maximizing my listening joy!
Gosh, I kinda miss work Christmas parties. We’re now a fully remote company so all of our Christmas parties are online. I miss finding a pretty Christmassy dress and getting all fancy for a night! You look beautiful, Nicole!
Christmas parties are so fun! I loved my old office parties, and my husband’s are pretty fun (for me, at least) too!
How nice you got to go to a Christmas party and dress up 🙂 it was worth the staying up, I guess.
Thanks for explaining about your yoga practice and teaching – this makes a lot of sense!
It was definitely worth staying up for! Also, I took a nap in the afternoon, so that helped!